What if your friend at work told on you?

Avalonis

LOL

I have a file of errors my cowroker has done in my office. I don't tell on her, but if I were put in this situation, I have some ammo to use.

And crap like THIS is why so many marriages don't work. Seriously, why can't most women forgive and forget? (I realize this was a coworker, but its the same type of thing)

To the OP: TALK to her. Getting snarky doesn't help anything. If she stabs you again then its time to rethink the friendship.

I think that you are misguided about why "so many marriages don't work," and regardless of how I feel about keeping track of coworker mistakes, it seems silly to me to decide that that is how "most women" behave.

Allow me to clarify.

Most women I have had personal experience with.

And this is one of MANY reasons marriages don't work.

Better?

bry_all01

A) what would YOU do or have you done? regardless of what she did to me, I would bring it to her attention to give her a chance try to sort out, rather than rat her out.

My first instinct would be to give her a piece of my mind, :laugh: but I wouldn't. Going forward I would not correct the errors anymore. As it stands, the errors being corrected give the impression that she's at 100% on her quality...she'd be in for a rude awakening!

smart. I like how you hold back. Shows that you have class and maturity. Kudos to you!

_gwen

A) what would YOU do or have you done? regardless of what she did to me, I would bring it to her attention to give her a chance try to sort out, rather than rat her out.

+1

I'd talk to her first, ask why she told the boss. Explain that you've been finding her errors and fixing them, but not saying anything to the boss. See what she has to say. It may or may not change how you feel. At least, don't let it be a source of strain for you.

Then, for my own peace of mind I would talk to the boss. Explain that you understand errors create a problem, but you had expectations that you were part of a team that worked together. You had been correcting errors as you came across them, but not reporting individual incidents. If it is important that these corrections need to be reported, then you need to change your process. Make sure you understand what the boss's criteria is too.

ninerbuff

Here’s the scenario:

You’re close with a person in your department. You’re good friends outside of work; know each other’s families, etc. At work, you work closely together, your work effects theirs and vice versa. One day you’re reviewing something your friend did, and it’s wrong. It’s not the first time you’ve come across this, you find errors all the time. You don’t say anything, you just correct it. The time comes for your friend to review something of yours, they find an error and they don’t do what you did, they actually tell the boss. You end up getting reprimanded which takes away from the amount of quarterly bonus you get. Would you be mad? Would you then go back and tell on them for the things you let slide? Would you confront them about it? What would you do?

This is why I don't make "friends" at work. I make "acquaintances". Having been a manager at 2 previous jobs (Toys R Us and Circuit City) I've found it easy to even say something about other managers to RS because my job is just that, my job.

iAMaPhoenix

I'd wait for her in the parking lot @ 5:00 and beat that *kitten*. :laugh: :laugh:



The friendship will no longer exist. Back to co-workers.

The problem is that you keep calling her friend...Friends don't take money out of friends pocket. I don't think you should tell her you covered for her in the past, because that gives her ammo to use against you in the future. Just consider it a lesson learned and move on. But first, ask her to buy you some Tiffany's with her bonus, since your covering up for her in the past has earned her undeserved bonuses before.

BigDaddyBRC

Straight up *****slap them back to reality.

'Nough said.

Scott613

It's day one stuff you always resolve a problem at the lowest level possible! You should tell her about her mistakes so she doesn't make them again. If she continues effing up take it up to a supervisor.

What she did is called being a kissass! "Hey boss look how great I am. I noticed this and came right to you because you're not busy enough dealing with other BS.".......Cut that B!!!!

ellycope

A) what would YOU do or have you done? regardless of what she did to me, I would bring it to her attention to give her a chance try to sort out, rather than rat her out.

+1

I'd talk to her first, ask why she told the boss. Explain that you've been finding her errors and fixing them, but not saying anything to the boss. See what she has to say. It may or may not change how you feel. At least, don't let it be a source of strain for you.

Then, for my own peace of mind I would talk to the boss. Explain that you understand errors create a problem, but you had expectations that you were part of a team that worked together. You had been correcting errors as you came across them, but not reporting individual incidents. If it is important that these corrections need to be reported, then you need to change your process. Make sure you understand what the boss's criteria is too.

I think this makes the most sense. Definitely talk to your friend even though it's obviously upsetting that they've done this. But, as has been said by some others, they didn't know you were correcting their mistakes and they maybe didn't know how to handle it. You've not said anything to them, presumably because you're friends, and they've possibly had the same thought process but handled it differently.

porcelain_doll

I wouldn't tell her or anyone else that you have been cleaning up her errors-just start making a regular note of it and notifying your supervisor just as she did from this point forward. She didn't hesitate to toss you under a rolling wheel.

But...don't harbor any ill will because that is the worst thing you could ever do. Forgive and move on, but change your process

I agree with this.

Also if the person followed the proper procedure then you can't be to mad, but you would think a friend would give a break *shrugs shoulders*

I agree with this, too, except I would say something to her privately about what happened. Communication is key in any relationship, professional or personal.

I personally don't think it's a good idea to become close on a personal level with co-workers because of potentially sticky situations like this. I was once naive and thought that everyone that I worked with should be my friend, but I learned the hard way that it usually isn't a good idea.

JaydeSkye

Um. If she is jumping at her first opportunity to throw you under the bus at work.. without even speaking to you about your mistake.. and she knows this is going to cost you money, she works there, she knows how bonuses are distributed.. then, I would think long and hard about bringing her into your home around your family. You might just go to the bathroom one day and she climbs on your husband's d*ck.

macpatti

If she's really a friend, and not just "work friend", then I would say not to tell on her. Friends don't sell each other out on the job. If you keep seeing errors of hers in the future, tell her and have her fix them.

Regarding what she did to you: next time you're off the job hangin out, I would say something to her. See how she responds to determine where the friendship goes from there.

thebrokenvessel

Well if it was in fact my error I'd have to take the hit. It would change my relationship with that friend. I would think she'd warn me instead of throw me under the bus but it happens. I couldn't assume just because I'd correct her mistakes and move on that she'd do the same for me. I'd just keep her at arms length after telling her in my angry voice that she helped mess up my money....lol

philOHIO

I'm reading these responses and seeing "if she is your friend..."

She isn't your friend. She should have asked you about it before showing the boss. Obviously she has 2 faces, or noses... one for you and one for the boss. Homey don't play that!!!!

cessnaholly

I wouldn't tell her or anyone else that you have been cleaning up her errors-just start making a regular note of it and notifying your supervisor just as she did from this point forward. She didn't hesitate to toss you under a rolling wheel.

But...don't harbor any ill will because that is the worst thing you could ever do. Forgive and move on, but change your process

Agreed,

jennajava

You don’t say anything, you just correct it. The time comes for your friend to review something of yours, they find an error and they don’t do what you did, they actually tell the boss.

Wouldn't you get in trouble for doing that?

jennajava

If she knew she'd get in trouble for for changing your stuff, then she was trying to do the right thing I think.

Lauren8239

No good deed goes unpunished....so if you were correcting her mistakes, and she had no idea.....unfortunately you kinda did this to yourself. My first reaction was like most of the others that responded, but we don't have all the info, such as if she knew about her mistakes. I would mention to her outside of work, privately, that you had been correcting her mistakes and that from now on you would be following policy, like she did. That way when you need to report it to the boss 15 times, she can't complain as you are doing your job.

homeport51

At this point, any error you brought to your boss' attention would look like you were trying to get even with her. It's too bad that she did that to you. I agree with some of the other posters here... she is NOT your friend, she has her own agenda where she is #1. Going forward, I would find a new friend (outside of work), be cordial and professional with your ex-friend (now co-worker only), but keep her at arm's length, where you can watch her... Spend the time that you previously spent correcting her errors on double checking your work, so you don't have any more errors. If you find one of hers, well, I don't know what you do and how an error impacts that. If it is something that is not life threatening... let it go. If it absolutely needs to be corrected... return it to her or give it to the boss. Just say it needs to be corrected, not whose it is or anything like that.
Crappy thing to have happen to you. I'm betting you are more hurt over the damaged trust and friendship then you are about the money.

surfrgrl1

I would talk to her about it, but you cant really expect people to behave as you do. You just know what category to put her in and maybe it is time to pull back. It is NEVER a good idea to be friends with coworkers. You cant address the past, however, moving forward? It would be a total shredding. Just make sure what you think are errors are true errors and that you really are on top of YOUR game.

Agree

bouldert

i would say focus on doing your job and let her bury her self with mistakes .i wouldn't be the one who pointed it out to the boss about her mistakes but i would make it noticeable to them. by you helping her your hurting your performance and making mistakes .