Are girls ever happy with themselves?

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k2d4p
k2d4p Posts: 441 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I ask this coming from a girl's perspective. I feel I have done a decent job in the last year and a half first losing and then maintaining. However, I still feel that I would be happier if I lost about 20lbs more. I was discussing this with the checkout lady at our mini mart here on base (the store was really slow at the time and she is sort of a friend). She congradulated me on me weight loss and I said thank you, but I still want to lose a little more. She said that I looked great and the problem with most girls is we pick our selves apart and basically beat ourselves up mentally. My husband says similar things to me when I say I want to lose more. He says I could lose 20 or 30 more pounds, but I still wouldn't be happy about myself. Is it just ingrained in us to continually make our selves better.

What do you all think?
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Replies

  • amberrrogers
    amberrrogers Posts: 98
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    I think they are both right. In highschool I wasnt fat, more curvy and athletic. i thought I was as big as a house. I thought I was ugly as sin. I did all I could to make myself be pretty even though I was told all the time I was very pretty. I wouldnt leave my hair color or style alone, wouldnt settle with wearing just jeans and a tshirt. I always had to wear tons of makeup. I wasnt ever happy with me no matter what i did. im hoping that I dont have that issue with this journey i am taking for weightloss and health.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    simple answer = nope
  • alaskan_blue
    alaskan_blue Posts: 24
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    No, and honestly, I don't think it's limited to just women. We live in a culture obsessed with appearance. I could be a size 5 with nice 34C breasts, lips like Angelina Jolie, and able to complete the Ironman Triathlon in less than 14 hours and I'd find something to dislike about myself: being shortish, string straight fine hair that nothing can be done with, the fact that my skin can't hold a tan. You get the picture.
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    Nope! I know me at least. 125 lbs and people tell me I am cute, but all I see is a big eyed ugly duckling *sigh*
  • LuluGirl140
    LuluGirl140 Posts: 364 Member
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    I would have to agree with you on this one!

    Overall, I think most women are just too critical of themselves. If we're a bit overweight, then we want to lose that weight. Once we hit goal weight, then it's toning up. What happens once we've hit our goal weight and are toned? We want bigger boobs, a smaller butt, longer hair, smaller nose, etc. I think it's wonderful that we constantly push ourselves to become a better person, inside and out, however I think we need to cut ourselves (and each other) a break sometimes and just say "I'm pretty hot", and continue to strive to maintain that feeling. I honestly think it's more mental than anything. Once we can accept ourselves as we are, but continue to try and be better (physically, emotionally, etc) we'll be ok. Oh and we all need to learn to accept compliments. I've had the exact same conversation you just explained. We need to just say thank you, and allow ourselves to be proud of what we've accomplished!

    My 2 cents!
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
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    I wish. In high school I was a very good weight and would have looked just fine if I had toned my tummy a bit ( see there I go!) But I am almost twice the size now that I was then.

    There were guys and friends always telling me I was (fill in the blank compliment). Lived in skinny world. Felt as if I was fat and didn't leave the house without makeup. I think its just that people focus their image on their appearance rather than on who you are.


    We all get old or die first... so its a losing battle in that sense anyway. Its best to try to appreciate the positives and if you want to improve, that's fine as long as you are rational about it and fair about the positives as well as what "needs" to be improved.


    I guess I don't know...
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
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    I love me - the now me, not the before "twig" me. I could stand to tone a bit more, get a bit more defined, but that is by competition standards, not mine. For me, I think I've done an amazing job at getting here - gaining healthy weight and all, so yes, girls CAN be happy with themselves. Are there things I'd change? Maybe, but that doesn't mean I don't love who I am now, as I am.
  • annacataldo
    annacataldo Posts: 872 Member
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    i think weight loss will make me happier; but i dont expect that i will ever be happy with how i look because even after i get to losing the 145lbs, ill have excess skin and then be horrified of my body in a different sense... will i be happy after skin removal surgery, breast lift, etc... i think so. ive always thought i was very pretty in the face but have always been way over weight; so if the weight is gone, then i cant see myself ever being like "omg, my belly sticks out a tiny bit nooooo" because it will be the best i have ever looked. why would someone who has always been obese care about minor little things like that? i dont get that. ive lost 67lbs now and already enjoy looking in the mirror and clothes shopping and posing for photos, etc so id only imagine that in another 80lbs will be 20x better. but ill need the skin removal surgery in order to ever feel 100% confident in myself and my looks.
  • merimeaux
    merimeaux Posts: 304 Member
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    I think we have chances to be happy with ourselves, but they don't necessarily coincide with how we look. When I was anorexic in college I was definitely down to my "ideal weight," but I couldn't see it at all and thought I was still obese (of course *now*, looking at pictures, I can see that I was quite thin). Then when I started eating again and gained about 75 pounds, I was happy with myself for a while because I felt like I was at a better place in life...my boyfriend was treating me better, I was eating and not having dizzy spells, etc. Then came the spring formal and the pictures that followed...I know I felt beautiful in my stunning emerald green strapless dress, but when I saw the pictures all I saw was a fat girl. And, as a result, my self esteem dipped again. It's a vicious cycle. :/
  • Deckershann
    Deckershann Posts: 272 Member
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    Of course we won't ever be happy with ourselves. If we ever are...then I will never have a job!! (Stylist lol)

    Seriously though, sometimes I feel like it will never be enough. I will never be skinny enough...I feel like sometimes I've failed at so much other stuff...that this is the one thing that never changes, and always remains a focus. It's heartbreaking really. I saw a shirt the other day in W Magazine and it said: "She Died Of Perfection"

    Sometimes that's how I feel. Just venting/blabbing I guess.
  • Shrinking_Xtina
    Shrinking_Xtina Posts: 478 Member
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    Oh man, this is exactly how I feel. *Le sigh*
    i think weight loss will make me happier; but i dont expect that i will ever be happy with how i look because even after i get to losing the 145lbs, ill have excess skin and then be horrified of my body in a different sense... will i be happy after skin removal surgery, breast lift, etc... i think so. ive always thought i was very pretty in the face but have always been way over weight; so if the weight is gone, then i cant see myself ever being like "omg, my belly sticks out a tiny bit nooooo" because it will be the best i have ever looked. why would someone who has always been obese care about minor little things like that? i dont get that. ive lost 67lbs now and already enjoy looking in the mirror and clothes shopping and posing for photos, etc so id only imagine that in another 80lbs will be 20x better. but ill need the skin removal surgery in order to ever feel 100% confident in myself and my looks.
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    The media pushes being "perfect" on young women and girls from a young age. That's starting to become a little more weeded out, but it's been ingrained in most of us since we were young. I usually am not a fan of blaming the media for our societies problems, but in this case I feel it's acceptable. When you have things like CosmoGirl and Seventeen magazine telling young women the latest 101 to be hotter, or how to look like this new star, it's bound to cut into one's self-esteem when you realize you DON'T look like Scarlett Johannson [or any other random celebrity], and you probably never will without surgery. You end up being too hard on your self and putting too much pressure on being "hot" or being perfect.

    "Love is Louder Than the Pressure to be Perfect."
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    In my experiences...NO
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    Nope! I know me at least. 125 lbs and people tell me I am cute, but all I see is a big eyed beautiful* duckling *sigh*

    *fixed.

    I have big eyes. Embrace them, honey. Learn to do puppy dog eyes :3
  • Guerita83
    Guerita83 Posts: 75
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    Answer: NO! Honestly we try to be or look "perfect", reality is no one is or can be....
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    I don't think it's just women that battle with this.


    For me, I am happy with myself pretty much no matter where I am. Which is why I end up way way way overweight.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    I ask this coming from a girl's perspective. I feel I have done a decent job in the last year and a half first losing and then maintaining. However, I still feel that I would be happier if I lost about 20lbs more. I was discussing this with the checkout lady at our mini mart here on base (the store was really slow at the time and she is sort of a friend). She congradulated me on me weight loss and I said thank you, but I still want to lose a little more. She said that I looked great and the problem with most girls is we pick our selves apart and basically beat ourselves up mentally. My husband says similar things to me when I say I want to lose more. He says I could lose 20 or 30 more pounds, but I still wouldn't be happy about myself. Is it just ingrained in us to continually make our selves better.

    What do you all think?
    We're all doused with messages that we could be better - media, friends, parents, etc. I think this affects men as well as women. Though I do think women get a whole lot more pressure about an "ideal" - at least a physical ideal. More so in different countries, but it exists all over the world.

    I'd like to think that most people are happy with themselves sometimes. I don't spend time with people that are *never* happy with themselves. Most of my friends are pretty happy with themselves. I've spent too much of my life either being unhappy or trying to "fix" someone else's unhappiness. Both are a waste of time.

    Are you talking about strictly weight loss? You say you want to lose 20 more pounds. But your ticker says you have lost 106 pounds. Are you saying you weren't happy with yourself when you crossed the 100 pounds lost mark? Or are you saying you just aren't satisfied?

    I wish more people could celebrate the process. I wish that for you.
  • skinnnyxoxo
    skinnnyxoxo Posts: 210 Member
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    It's funny because when I was fat, I thought I was the hottest thing on the planet. And ever since I've got concerned with my looks, I lost 20 lbs and my self- esteem isn't low, but it isn't as high either.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,667 Member
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    I try to tell all female clients start with my sig line "I like myself unconditionally". You can have the greatest bod, the prettiest face, the perfect smile, and if you don't like yourself then it's perceived as not good enough ever.
  • Bluestar083
    Bluestar083 Posts: 146
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    I wasn't when i was in my early 20s (no boobs, big hips, skinny as anything) but I am now (when I am at my usual weight 53/54kg). I work hard at the gym, eat well and get told what a great body I have by so many people. Plus I finally got boobs-late developer! I got better self esteem and became happier in myself and thus my body.
    So yeah. I am happy with my body-it's as good as it's going to get and it's beautiful.
    I'm a nurse and see very old bodies and very sick bodies, naked, every day. So in comparison-I'm awesome!!!

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