Are girls ever happy with themselves?

k2d4p

I ask this coming from a girl's perspective. I feel I have done a decent job in the last year and a half first losing and then maintaining. However, I still feel that I would be happier if I lost about 20lbs more. I was discussing this with the checkout lady at our mini mart here on base (the store was really slow at the time and she is sort of a friend). She congradulated me on me weight loss and I said thank you, but I still want to lose a little more. She said that I looked great and the problem with most girls is we pick our selves apart and basically beat ourselves up mentally. My husband says similar things to me when I say I want to lose more. He says I could lose 20 or 30 more pounds, but I still wouldn't be happy about myself. Is it just ingrained in us to continually make our selves better.

What do you all think?

amberrrogers

I think they are both right. In highschool I wasnt fat, more curvy and athletic. i thought I was as big as a house. I thought I was ugly as sin. I did all I could to make myself be pretty even though I was told all the time I was very pretty. I wouldnt leave my hair color or style alone, wouldnt settle with wearing just jeans and a tshirt. I always had to wear tons of makeup. I wasnt ever happy with me no matter what i did. im hoping that I dont have that issue with this journey i am taking for weightloss and health.

BeautyFromPain

simple answer = nope

alaskan_blue

No, and honestly, I don't think it's limited to just women. We live in a culture obsessed with appearance. I could be a size 5 with nice 34C breasts, lips like Angelina Jolie, and able to complete the Ironman Triathlon in less than 14 hours and I'd find something to dislike about myself: being shortish, string straight fine hair that nothing can be done with, the fact that my skin can't hold a tan. You get the picture.

SergeantSunshine_reused

Nope! I know me at least. 125 lbs and people tell me I am cute, but all I see is a big eyed ugly duckling *sigh*

LuluGirl140

I would have to agree with you on this one!

Overall, I think most women are just too critical of themselves. If we're a bit overweight, then we want to lose that weight. Once we hit goal weight, then it's toning up. What happens once we've hit our goal weight and are toned? We want bigger boobs, a smaller butt, longer hair, smaller nose, etc. I think it's wonderful that we constantly push ourselves to become a better person, inside and out, however I think we need to cut ourselves (and each other) a break sometimes and just say "I'm pretty hot", and continue to strive to maintain that feeling. I honestly think it's more mental than anything. Once we can accept ourselves as we are, but continue to try and be better (physically, emotionally, etc) we'll be ok. Oh and we all need to learn to accept compliments. I've had the exact same conversation you just explained. We need to just say thank you, and allow ourselves to be proud of what we've accomplished!

My 2 cents!

Romans624

I wish. In high school I was a very good weight and would have looked just fine if I had toned my tummy a bit ( see there I go!) But I am almost twice the size now that I was then.

There were guys and friends always telling me I was (fill in the blank compliment). Lived in skinny world. Felt as if I was fat and didn't leave the house without makeup. I think its just that people focus their image on their appearance rather than on who you are.


We all get old or die first... so its a losing battle in that sense anyway. Its best to try to appreciate the positives and if you want to improve, that's fine as long as you are rational about it and fair about the positives as well as what "needs" to be improved.


I guess I don't know...

bry_all01

I love me - the now me, not the before "twig" me. I could stand to tone a bit more, get a bit more defined, but that is by competition standards, not mine. For me, I think I've done an amazing job at getting here - gaining healthy weight and all, so yes, girls CAN be happy with themselves. Are there things I'd change? Maybe, but that doesn't mean I don't love who I am now, as I am.

annacataldo

i think weight loss will make me happier; but i dont expect that i will ever be happy with how i look because even after i get to losing the 145lbs, ill have excess skin and then be horrified of my body in a different sense... will i be happy after skin removal surgery, breast lift, etc... i think so. ive always thought i was very pretty in the face but have always been way over weight; so if the weight is gone, then i cant see myself ever being like "omg, my belly sticks out a tiny bit nooooo" because it will be the best i have ever looked. why would someone who has always been obese care about minor little things like that? i dont get that. ive lost 67lbs now and already enjoy looking in the mirror and clothes shopping and posing for photos, etc so id only imagine that in another 80lbs will be 20x better. but ill need the skin removal surgery in order to ever feel 100% confident in myself and my looks.

merimeaux

I think we have chances to be happy with ourselves, but they don't necessarily coincide with how we look. When I was anorexic in college I was definitely down to my "ideal weight," but I couldn't see it at all and thought I was still obese (of course *now*, looking at pictures, I can see that I was quite thin). Then when I started eating again and gained about 75 pounds, I was happy with myself for a while because I felt like I was at a better place in life...my boyfriend was treating me better, I was eating and not having dizzy spells, etc. Then came the spring formal and the pictures that followed...I know I felt beautiful in my stunning emerald green strapless dress, but when I saw the pictures all I saw was a fat girl. And, as a result, my self esteem dipped again. It's a vicious cycle.

Deckershann

Of course we won't ever be happy with ourselves. If we ever are...then I will never have a job!! (Stylist lol)

Seriously though, sometimes I feel like it will never be enough. I will never be skinny enough...I feel like sometimes I've failed at so much other stuff...that this is the one thing that never changes, and always remains a focus. It's heartbreaking really. I saw a shirt the other day in W Magazine and it said: "She Died Of Perfection"

Sometimes that's how I feel. Just venting/blabbing I guess.

Shrinking_Xtina

Oh man, this is exactly how I feel. *Le sigh*

i think weight loss will make me happier; but i dont expect that i will ever be happy with how i look because even after i get to losing the 145lbs, ill have excess skin and then be horrified of my body in a different sense... will i be happy after skin removal surgery, breast lift, etc... i think so. ive always thought i was very pretty in the face but have always been way over weight; so if the weight is gone, then i cant see myself ever being like "omg, my belly sticks out a tiny bit nooooo" because it will be the best i have ever looked. why would someone who has always been obese care about minor little things like that? i dont get that. ive lost 67lbs now and already enjoy looking in the mirror and clothes shopping and posing for photos, etc so id only imagine that in another 80lbs will be 20x better. but ill need the skin removal surgery in order to ever feel 100% confident in myself and my looks.

brittanyjeanxo

The media pushes being "perfect" on young women and girls from a young age. That's starting to become a little more weeded out, but it's been ingrained in most of us since we were young. I usually am not a fan of blaming the media for our societies problems, but in this case I feel it's acceptable. When you have things like CosmoGirl and Seventeen magazine telling young women the latest 101 to be hotter, or how to look like this new star, it's bound to cut into one's self-esteem when you realize you DON'T look like Scarlett Johannson [or any other random celebrity], and you probably never will without surgery. You end up being too hard on your self and putting too much pressure on being "hot" or being perfect.

"Love is Louder Than the Pressure to be Perfect."

BigDaddyBRC

In my experiences...NO

brittanyjeanxo

Nope! I know me at least. 125 lbs and people tell me I am cute, but all I see is a big eyed beautiful* duckling *sigh*

*fixed.

I have big eyes. Embrace them, honey. Learn to do puppy dog eyes

Guerita83

Answer: NO! Honestly we try to be or look "perfect", reality is no one is or can be....

infamousmk

I don't think it's just women that battle with this.


For me, I am happy with myself pretty much no matter where I am. Which is why I end up way way way overweight.

kennethmgreen

I ask this coming from a girl's perspective. I feel I have done a decent job in the last year and a half first losing and then maintaining. However, I still feel that I would be happier if I lost about 20lbs more. I was discussing this with the checkout lady at our mini mart here on base (the store was really slow at the time and she is sort of a friend). She congradulated me on me weight loss and I said thank you, but I still want to lose a little more. She said that I looked great and the problem with most girls is we pick our selves apart and basically beat ourselves up mentally. My husband says similar things to me when I say I want to lose more. He says I could lose 20 or 30 more pounds, but I still wouldn't be happy about myself. Is it just ingrained in us to continually make our selves better.

What do you all think?

We're all doused with messages that we could be better - media, friends, parents, etc. I think this affects men as well as women. Though I do think women get a whole lot more pressure about an "ideal" - at least a physical ideal. More so in different countries, but it exists all over the world.

I'd like to think that most people are happy with themselves sometimes. I don't spend time with people that are *never* happy with themselves. Most of my friends are pretty happy with themselves. I've spent too much of my life either being unhappy or trying to "fix" someone else's unhappiness. Both are a waste of time.

Are you talking about strictly weight loss? You say you want to lose 20 more pounds. But your ticker says you have lost 106 pounds. Are you saying you weren't happy with yourself when you crossed the 100 pounds lost mark? Or are you saying you just aren't satisfied?

I wish more people could celebrate the process. I wish that for you.

skinnnyxoxo

It's funny because when I was fat, I thought I was the hottest thing on the planet. And ever since I've got concerned with my looks, I lost 20 lbs and my self- esteem isn't low, but it isn't as high either.

ninerbuff

I try to tell all female clients start with my sig line "I like myself unconditionally". You can have the greatest bod, the prettiest face, the perfect smile, and if you don't like yourself then it's perceived as not good enough ever.

Bluestar083

I wasn't when i was in my early 20s (no boobs, big hips, skinny as anything) but I am now (when I am at my usual weight 53/54kg). I work hard at the gym, eat well and get told what a great body I have by so many people. Plus I finally got boobs-late developer! I got better self esteem and became happier in myself and thus my body.
So yeah. I am happy with my body-it's as good as it's going to get and it's beautiful.
I'm a nurse and see very old bodies and very sick bodies, naked, every day. So in comparison-I'm awesome!!!

k2d4p

I ask this coming from a girl's perspective. I feel I have done a decent job in the last year and a half first losing and then maintaining. However, I still feel that I would be happier if I lost about 20lbs more. I was discussing this with the checkout lady at our mini mart here on base (the store was really slow at the time and she is sort of a friend). She congradulated me on me weight loss and I said thank you, but I still want to lose a little more. She said that I looked great and the problem with most girls is we pick our selves apart and basically beat ourselves up mentally. My husband says similar things to me when I say I want to lose more. He says I could lose 20 or 30 more pounds, but I still wouldn't be happy about myself. Is it just ingrained in us to continually make our selves better.

What do you all think?

We're all doused with messages that we could be better - media, friends, parents, etc. I think this affects men as well as women. Though I do think women get a whole lot more pressure about an "ideal" - at least a physical ideal. More so in different countries, but it exists all over the world.

I'd like to think that most people are happy with themselves sometimes. I don't spend time with people that are *never* happy with themselves. Most of my friends are pretty happy with themselves. I've spent too much of my life either being unhappy or trying to "fix" someone else's unhappiness. Both are a waste of time.

Are you talking about strictly weight loss? You say you want to lose 20 more pounds. But your ticker says you have lost 106 pounds. Are you saying you weren't happy with yourself when you crossed the 100 pounds lost mark? Or are you saying you just aren't satisfied?

I wish more people could celebrate the process. I wish that for you.

Not just weight loss, but everything. I think I will look better if I lost 20 more pounds, and in turn feel better about myself. I was happy when I crossed the 100lb mark. I actually cried. But, I am still not satisfied. I don't really know what that would take or if it is even possible.

babyblake11

i am a healthy weight and i love who i am, i love me. sure there are some things i dont like, but i accept them as a part of who i am. so i say, although most girls are not, i am so there must be others like me!

TavistockToad

i am a healthy weight and i love who i am, i love me. sure there are some things i dont like, but i accept them as a part of who i am. so i say, although most girls are not, i am so there must be others like me!

i agree with this. in an ideal world there would be things i would change about myself, but generally, day to day i am happy with who i am and how i am, because whats the point sitting in a pity party every day for the rest of your life over things you cant really do much about!

sunkisses

I'm happy with myself. I've had many miserable years before I chose to be happy now rather than wait for some arbitrary point in time or standard I had to meet. For me, I'd be minimizing the significance of all the things I've done if I still couldn't be happy with myself after all of that.

It's a choice. Granted, it's not a quick choice, but in the same way you dedicated yourself to working out your body, you need to work out your inside as well. It's important. Why would you settle for making those lifestyle-changing habits just for appearance's sake? Why take steps to change your life if it's not actually going to change your life?

Dander

Depends on what mood I'm in...

If I've got PMT then I hate myself and I feel like ****e. The rest of the time, I reckon I'm ace

Articeluvsmemphis

there's always something someone doesn't like about themselves, things other people don't even care about or notice for that matter. we live within our own bodies, and know the flaws (sometimes imagined flaws) and we want nothing more than to correct those flaws. IDK if you would be happy after loosing more weight, have you ever thought you might have other personal issues to work on besides your weight that are making you unhappy?

EA4488

I suppose I never was fat but throughout middle school, I felt bigger than everyone else. All of the popular girls wore Abercrombie and had pencil thin, lean bodies. Then there was me, braces and awkward body type. I have never felt good in my skin. In high school, I made a decision to lose all of the weight I thought I had. Influenced by a mentally abusive boyfriend, I managed to weigh an unhealthy 94 lbs by the time I got to college. Even when I was that thin, I was not happy with my body. There was always something wrong and every time I looked in the mirror, I found the ugliness everywhere I looked. After getting help from a support group and learning not to be afraid of food again, I was able to gain weight healthily.

It will always be a struggle for me. My relationship with food will never be normal and it often makes me sad. However, I can say that when I am happiest in my life, I feel happiest about my body. When things are going well for me, when I am with someone who makes me feel beautiful, I FEEL beautiful inside and out.

So, in short, I don't think that we are ever happy with our bodies but being happy with our lives and the things we can do with our bodies can make it a bit better.

Nerdy_Rose

Sometimes, I feel like I'm the best thing since sliced bread.

Other times, I want to punch myself in the stomach for being so fat (I am not overweight, I am quite healthy).

I think I may have a mood disorder though.

kennethmgreen

I'm happy with myself. I've had many miserable years before I chose to be happy now rather than wait for some arbitrary point in time or standard I had to meet. For me, I'd be minimizing the significance of all the things I've done if I still couldn't be happy with myself after all of that.

It's a choice. Granted, it's not a quick choice, but in the same way you dedicated yourself to working out your body, you need to work out your inside as well. It's important. Why would you settle for making those lifestyle-changing habits just for appearance's sake? Why take steps to change your life if it's not actually going to change your life?

Awesome post. There is so much good truth in here. Read it again. Soak that in.

jnite

i am a healthy weight and i love who i am, i love me. sure there are some things i dont like, but i accept them as a part of who i am. so i say, although most girls are not, i am so there must be others like me!

This is exactly how I feel.....Sure sometimes I wish I could have straight hair instead of the curly, can't do anything with hair that I have....but then I hear someone talking about how they hate their straight hair, and think maybe it's not so bad...

I think that people care wayyyyyy too much what others think and that can always make you feel bad about yourself. Just last night I was telling a friend that she has to pick who matters to her and worry about their opinions and everybody else's opinions can take a flying jump, because if you start caring about what some person on the street that you don't even know thinks about you, you will never measure up and never be happy with yourself.