Can you develop chemistry if not there initially?

fbmandy55

For sure. I think there is always an initial level of akwardness but things can develope with time. i have had a few relationships that started slow and ended up being a very good connections. :happy:

adrian_indy

Yes. First reactions are sometimes guided by false perceptions. You might have seen this guy initially and put him in a box. It's much easier to develope a strong connection with someone you are mentally attracted too than to make a relationship work with some one who you are just physically attracted too. The latter tends to always fade. Besides, just from my own experience, there has always been a big difference sexually between people I am just physically attracted too as opposed to people who stimulate my mind. The latter is always more exciting.

atsteele

I believe it can develop later on. Initially, I felt no chemistry with my now-husband, mostly because he had red hair and I had dated a redhead in the past... lol! So I just never thought of him in that way, I wouldn't let my mind even go there... until we became friends, and started spending a lot of time together. That's when the chemistry began, and has not stopped since

EDIT: As a side, note, I was not "trying" to develop chemistry with him... it just happened. Suddenly I was like "holy moley, I really like this guy!" Haha

Yeah I mean, I totally have so much fun with him and he makes me laugh, which is a BIG item for me. I don't usually date guys with darker features and after trying to stay with my "type" for so long, I'm trying to branch out and get a different result. This one is definitely different that anyone else I've dated. I'm also not trying to develop it.....we are both taking our time OBVIOUSLY. LOL Just trying to see what happens. I've always felt a chemistry right of the bat with others I've dated and it hasn't "lasted" so I'm thinking maybe this is how it's "supposed" to be for a lasting relationship....build a firm foundation so that when he's making me mad and not feeling the love, I still "like" him. LOL If that makes sense.

Not sure this is how it works for everyone but when I met my husband for the first time I was thinking, "Whoot Whoot! I hope that's my date!" LOL (We met on a blind date.) After that initial physical attraction component is there, I consider all the things that I need from a partner. Is he honest? Is he ethicial? Is he a compassionate person? Does he make me want to be be a better person? Is he confident and driven in his own endeavors? Is he confident enough to allow me to be myself? For me it starts with chemistry but only continues if there is a mutual respect and admiration. BTW we've been married 15 years.

odusgolp

Absolutely. I think the internet has a lot to do with this. People tend to allow their true personality out because they're behind a computer:) And when you're friends with someone first, without that need to impress a potential partner, it's easier to see how they really are.

Lasting relationships are built on compatiblity with personalities. Compability with naughty bits is just plain easy:)

Wow! I completely disagree with you. Can you stand it?? We don't agree! *LOL*

I was friends with my husband first... for over 12 years. He was a great guy, not bad looking, but I wasn't attracted to him.

Guess what... I'm still not, and we're divorced.

You can't force something that's not there. It CAN sometimes grow, but it sounds to me more like you're trying to make it grow rather than "Wow, I never looked at Johnny this way before, but you know what? He's kinda hot and I'd like to lick his naughty parts!"

odusgolp

Yeah I mean, I totally have so much fun with him and he makes me laugh, which is a BIG item for me. I don't usually date guys with darker features and after trying to stay with my "type" for so long, I'm trying to branch out and get a different result. This one is definitely different that anyone else I've dated. I'm also not trying to develop it.....we are both taking our time OBVIOUSLY. LOL Just trying to see what happens. I've always felt a chemistry right of the bat with others I've dated and it hasn't "lasted" so I'm thinking maybe this is how it's "supposed" to be for a lasting relationship....build a firm foundation so that when he's making me mad and not feeling the love, I still "like" him. LOL If that makes sense.

I think I did write this about my ex-husband once upon a time.

I'm jaded. Why am I even talking...

voluptas63

Absolutely. I think the internet has a lot to do with this. People tend to allow their true personality out because they're behind a computer:) And when you're friends with someone first, without that need to impress a potential partner, it's easier to see how they really are.

Lasting relationships are built on compatiblity with personalities. Compability with naughty bits is just plain easy:)

Wow! I completely disagree with you. Can you stand it?? We don't agree! *LOL*

I was friends with my husband first... for over 12 years. He was a great guy, not bad looking, but I wasn't attracted to him.

Guess what... I'm still not, and we're divorced.

You can't force something that's not there. It CAN sometimes grow, but it sounds to me more like you're trying to make it grow rather than "Wow, I never looked at Johnny this way before, but you know what? He's kinda hot and I'd like to lick his naughty parts!"

There can be ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THAT WE DISAGREE. Say I'm right or the cheese gets it.

odusgolp

Absolutely. I think the internet has a lot to do with this. People tend to allow their true personality out because they're behind a computer:) And when you're friends with someone first, without that need to impress a potential partner, it's easier to see how they really are.

Lasting relationships are built on compatiblity with personalities. Compability with naughty bits is just plain easy:)

Wow! I completely disagree with you. Can you stand it?? We don't agree! *LOL*

I was friends with my husband first... for over 12 years. He was a great guy, not bad looking, but I wasn't attracted to him.

Guess what... I'm still not, and we're divorced.

You can't force something that's not there. It CAN sometimes grow, but it sounds to me more like you're trying to make it grow rather than "Wow, I never looked at Johnny this way before, but you know what? He's kinda hot and I'd like to lick his naughty parts!"

There can be ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THAT WE DISAGREE. Say I'm right or the cheese gets it.

But we both know I"m always right, so how could I say that you're right??

Remember that beer cheese we bought at Mars? it's in my belly. and sooooo good.