If I need help don't post ignorant comments

elysecea

i tried to help someone today and then the OP threatened me and called me names...

I am new to this site....please tell me what OP stands for LOL

lalinzki

Ok why do people think that degrading or even trying to degrade here is OK?Do they hear what they type? Does that sounds good to you but what about others?. Have this happen to you? Please share your most offensive or sarcastic or just plain bad examples or bad help in your post.

I agree. I joined MFP for support on my journey, If i wanted snarky comments, I'd just listen to my family.

LOL..might as well right

Acg67

i tried to help someone today and then the OP threatened me and called me names...

Threatened you????? LMFAO ... seriously??? Hahhahahahahahhahaaaa Let me guess, your abs instigated the fight? hahahahhaahahahaaa.

*seriously laughing I have tears coming out of my eyes*

serious, guess things need to be sugar coated as to not hurt people's feelings

@elysecea OP = original poster

lalinzki

People have nothing better to do with their lives then hurt others!!

the thing is that I though here in MFP is all about having each others back since we are in a website, which means we have to look else where for support why not support and not break others.

Collinsky

Ok why do people think that degrading or even trying to degrade here is OK?Do they hear what they type? Does that sounds good to you but what about others?. Have this happen to you? Please share your most offensive or sarcastic or just plain bad examples or bad help in your post.

i don't really have any examples, but to answer the first question, it's generally one of 3 things:

1. They're pitifully unhappy people.
2. They're actually trying to be helpful, but don't convey themselves well in how they write. Or that's what would help them feel motivated, so that's what they give others, and they think that if that doesn't motivate you it's because you don't want to be helped.
3. They're not actually being degrading, you're being defensive or oversensitive because you don't like what they're saying.

Or, some combination of 2 or all of those. LOL

HOW DOES THIS SOUND TO YOU?

you're eating like a little girl, which is great if that's what you want to look like after your cut is over.

Is your question addressed to me? And are you asking about it in the context of the thread it was posted in?

It's sounds honest, and not at all couched in social niceties. I personally don't love that style, but when that sort of thing happens to me I have to let it go. If someone says something that feels rude or offensive or irritating to me - but NOT technically incorrect, dishonest, or misrepresenting - then I might tell them their rudeness makes it difficult to hear what they're saying, and then I would let it go. My life is too awesome and full and SHORT to try to police other people's way of saying things, or their opinions. If you think that he is wrong, and that you are in fact eating enough, and that you're going to achieve your goals with what you're doing, then your best response is "Time will tell, bro." and then let that be exactly what happens. I've gotten a lot of negative feedback on choices I've made at times, and either I have to be confident enough in those choices to let it ride and let time be the decider, OR I have to suck it up, tell my ego to take a chill -- then take a hard look at what is going on, and make changes.

Worrying about HOW feedback comes to you is smoke and mirrors. It's a distraction. It's not always easy, especially if something pushes a button with us, but you can't get bogged down in other people's wording or what they think.

melsinct

If you have a thin skin, then anonymous message boards on the internet are not for you. Sure, a small percentage of people here are mean. Hell, some are downright insane! However, there are many, many good kind people here and they far outnumber the mean ones. The longer I am on MFP, the more I find myself coming to the message boards less and less. Much of the time I just check on my friends and what they are up to.

reneelee

Yes i have read some and felt like responding, but choose to ignore the commet and read the others. If you feed into the commet it makes them happy, because the fight is on ignore them and they will go away.

psuLemon

Seriously, it's the internet...just let it drop...



Also, if you cant take a joke, there is some issues...


I don't mean that in a bad way, but are you taking steroids?

lalinzki

My MFP's support me, there are others on this site that don't, or are negative. Like every other site, there are the good and bad...

You have to take the good with the bad, I'm just saying I want to help not make people quit..That's all I'm saying

lalinzki

I have only been on here one week and have said the same thing! For the most part, everyone is very positive and supportive, but there are a few! My problem is the criticism. Obviously, we are all on here to get support and lose weight (some a little, some a lot). But some people think their way is the only way and are indifferent to the metabolism and/or choices others make. If you have a bad day, you don't need someone telling you that you suck... you need them to either shut the hell up or support you. If you don't give in to occasional indulgences, you will overindulge later! Getting an order of fries occasionally is okay. And I am sick of the people that get on a soapbox about certain things, like no sugar at all because "I know what it does to your body". Don't cram your stuff down my throat and treat me like I am the idiot! Sorry for ranting, but I am sick of it. I've deleted several people because they commented on how I'm not giving it my all and in my first week, didn't always make the right choice (but I've always been under my calorie count!). People should just be respectful of others!

THANK YOU, I JUST WANT TO BE THERE FOR EVERYONE, and if I have something bad to say, I'll just say keep working out, remember we are just human

CMmrsfloyd

Keep the friends that are supportive and dump the ones that are not. Some people might actually like that kind of 'in your face' commentary (some people love a nice kick in the rear to get them on track) but others prefer a different type of 'advice'. If it's not someone you have a relationship with outside of MFP (friend, family, etc) it won't really hurt you to just unfriend them. Don't let a personality that you don't mesh well with bring you down.

Collinsky

THANK YOU, I JUST WANT TO BE THERE FOR EVERYONE, and if I have something bad to say, I'll just say keep working out, remember we are just human

Then you might want to keep in mind that some people THRIVE on in-your-face honesty. They don't want someone to not tell them if there's something they can do better. They want to be challenged, learn, improve, and having someone give them feedback -- even if it's not the pat on the back they were hoping for -- is an important part of that. I'm not like that, myself. I prefer 100% positivity, and when there's suggestions for improvement, I want it said in the way that motivates me. So I get that.

But MFP is here for everyone. Every type of person on this journey. And that means that there HAVE to be different kinds of responses to things, and that some of them will be what helps you, and some of them will be what helps others. So in the interest of helping everyone, you have to get comfortable with the idea that some people find the "you're eating like a little girl" guy to be insanely motivating, and that's okay.

And I'm going to try to be okay with the fact that most of the reason you're mad is because he said girl, because if he's said kid you probably wouldn't have been so triggered by it. The underlying misogyny in the whole thing is irksome, to say the least. I can't wait until the day when "like a girl" is NOT the worst thing someone can say to you, because girls are actually valued.

Acg67

hmmm seems you left out a part of the "offending" quote, sounds like good advice to me

"you're eating like a little girl, which is great if that's what you want to look like after your cut is over. if not i suggest upping cals and getting in an adequate amount of protein while incorporating heavy resistance training "

lalinzki

Seriously, it's the internet...just let it drop...



Also, if you cant take a joke, there is some issues...


I don't mean that in a bad way, but are you taking steroids?

LOL..Nope..LOL..I think if I was I wouldn't be here trying to loose the weight.

lalinzki

hmmm seems you left out a part of the "offending" quote, sounds like good advice to me

"you're eating like a little girl, which is great if that's what you want to look like after your cut is over. if not i suggest upping cals and getting in an adequate amount of protein while incorporating heavy resistance training "

What is the first thing I saw, I'm eating like a girl, but that's what my Boxing coach says to eat, also it you would of taken that girl type **** I would of been fine, but for you to tell me that I'm eating like a girl, telling my nutrition is all f up and my coaches nutrition knowledge don't mean anything yeah man I am going to be like WTF... That's what got me like WTF! OH HELL NAW THIS DUDE JUST CLOWN MY NUTRITION!..

elysecea

i tried to help someone today and then the OP threatened me and called me names...

Threatened you????? LMFAO ... seriously??? Hahhahahahahahhahaaaa Let me guess, your abs instigated the fight? hahahahhaahahahaaa.

*seriously laughing I have tears coming out of my eyes*

serious, guess things need to be sugar coated as to not hurt people's feelings

@elysecea OP = original poster

Ok got the OP thanks ...but you are right about the sugar coating, makes me not want to post...people take so many things out of context when all most of these things are are opinions....humph.

Collinsky

hmmm seems you left out a part of the "offending" quote, sounds like good advice to me

"you're eating like a little girl, which is great if that's what you want to look like after your cut is over. if not i suggest upping cals and getting in an adequate amount of protein while incorporating heavy resistance training "

What is the first thing I saw, I'm eating like a girl, but that's what my Boxing coach says to eat, also it you would of taken that girl type **** I would of been fine, but for you to tell me that I'm eating like a girl, telling my nutrition is all f up and my coaches nutrition knowledge don't mean anything yeah man I am going to be like WTF... That's what got me like WTF! OH HELL NAW THIS DUDE JUST CLOWN MY NUTRITION!..

He did not say most of the things you're saying he said. That is stuff that was in your head, that you projected onto what he said. There is a lot of assumption going on there. Since my husband is a boxing and MMA coach, I think I can say pretty securely that while they may know a whole lot, they don't know everything about everything. And if someone told him his nutrition/diet advice was off, you know what he'd do?? He'd do some research. He'd either find out he was right all along, or he'd revise what he was telling his fighters. Because for him, doing right by his fighters is more important that being right all the time.

If you doubt this guy's science, then ask him for any research or studies to back it up. You can have your boxing coach do the same, and then make a truly informed decision.

Or, like I said, go with a confident "Time will tell" instead of this umbrage if someone doubts you or your coach. If it's working, then it's working. Deep breaths.

And, as I mentioned before, it's totally obvious that this is mostly a reaction to the "like a girl" part. I know that when you were 13 that was probably an automatic call out, and a guaranteed fight -- but hopefully we can get past those middle school ideas at some point. Because it doesn't have to be like that.

lalinzki

People on MFP I'm not here to talk about one little incident, I'm just talking in general, people here are really nice, but also people tend to forget not everyone has the Will Power to say no to foods or whatever. . Not all people like in YO FACE FOO type of attitude. Like I said I'm here to support not to make you feel worse..

THE END!

lalinzki

hmmm seems you left out a part of the "offending" quote, sounds like good advice to me

"you're eating like a little girl, which is great if that's what you want to look like after your cut is over. if not i suggest upping cals and getting in an adequate amount of protein while incorporating heavy resistance training "

What is the first thing I saw, I'm eating like a girl, but that's what my Boxing coach says to eat, also it you would of taken that girl type **** I would of been fine, but for you to tell me that I'm eating like a girl, telling my nutrition is all f up and my coaches nutrition knowledge don't mean anything yeah man I am going to be like WTF... That's what got me like WTF! OH HELL NAW THIS DUDE JUST CLOWN MY NUTRITION!..

He did not say most of the things you're saying he said. That is stuff that was in your head, that you projected onto what he said. There is a lot of assumption going on there. Since my husband is a boxing and MMA coach, I think I can say pretty securely that while they may know a whole lot, they don't know everything about everything. And if someone told him his nutrition/diet advice was off, you know what he'd do?? He'd do some research. He'd either find out he was right all along, or he'd revise what he was telling his fighters. Because for him, doing right by his fighters is more important that being right all the time.

If you doubt this guy's science, then ask him for any research or studies to back it up. You can have your boxing coach do the same, and then make a truly informed decision.

Or, like I said, go with a confident "Time will tell" instead of this umbrage if someone doubts you or your coach. If it's working, then it's working. Deep breaths.

And, as I mentioned before, it's totally obvious that this is mostly a reaction to the "like a girl" part. I know that when you were 13 that was probably an automatic call out, and a guaranteed fight -- but hopefully we can get past those middle school ideas at some point. Because it doesn't have to be like that.

So why say it in the first place?

mscoco10

Yes a lot of people think they are the food police. No one needs stupid comments. I just delete them. My time is money and they have no value to me.