no support from spouse

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  • geekymom57
    geekymom57 Posts: 176 Member
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    He does alot of the cooking then complains when I eat very little of the high calore foods he makes. Or want to eat all u can eat pasta at Olive Garden. I understand he does not want to diet and I have stoped pushing the issue and am tring to lead by example, but its hard to resist the temptations he is presenting. I even pickup his fast food on the way home from work without complaint, and then make my meal or salad.
    As others have said, you need to do this for yourself. If you are looking to him for validation for your success and he's not giving it, then you're setting yourself up to failure. He's attempting to control you by withholding approval--not a healthy trait for a relationship. My husband isn't non-supportive, but he isn't destructive towards my progress, other than liking to eat out more than I do (that's not new--he's always liked it more) and sometimes buying things I have a harder time ignoring than others (example: chips). But ultimately, he's not forcing those foods down my throat and he doesn't make an issue out of me measuring/weighing my food when we eat at home, so it's still completely my choice what I eat.

    If your husband's insistent about going out to eat, go, order your own food, drink water instead of wine or mixed drinks, allot yourself one piece of bread, order intelligently, set aside half of your meal (or 3/4 of the pasta portion) and don't eat it, etc. You control your own choices. What if you set a dining out food budget eat week and made this into an effort to spend less money--maybe that would get him engaged for a differnt reason.

    And the fast food thing--why can't he get his own junk food? Do you call and ask him if you can pick something up for him, or does he ask you to do it?

    But regardless--14 pounds in a month is great! I have a hard timing losing a pound a week and it's usually less, so 14 pounds in a month would make me ecstatic whether my husband noticed it or not! Keep up the good work.
  • PJmetts
    PJmetts Posts: 210 Member
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    No support from hubby is tough, sabotage is worse....mine brought home a dozen of my favorite donuts last sunday to "Celebrate" my weight loss and then kept saying "Why won't you eat them?" UGH! I had one and was so very sorry I did :(
  • SmileyLaurie
    SmileyLaurie Posts: 3
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    Great tips and a new out look just what I needed. I am proud of myself and no matter what going to continue my weight loss! Lets see how hard we can push ourself this month.
  • mrskaylaforthewin
    mrskaylaforthewin Posts: 24
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    he prolly thinks your gonna get skinny and leave him ...thats a big thing inalot of husbands loljust reassure him that you arent going anywhere..dress up in something sexy and let him know your body is for only you and him :D good luck

    xoxoxo
  • mrskaylaforthewin
    mrskaylaforthewin Posts: 24
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    about the olive garden...hubby brought me home some taco bell last night..a chicken burrito and a beefy 5 layer..which the 5 layer is my weakness...i threw it in the trash LOLLL and if i go out ill throw half my plate away or ask them for a childs plate..

    i cant control myself when i have leftovers its like something pushes me towards them..so i get rid before i even do it

    xoxo
  • gduncan43
    gduncan43 Posts: 3
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    Good Job on weight loss! Keep it up! Don't let your husband discourage you! Your getting healthy so u can feel better about yourself and live longer! Hopefully,he will start being supportive sooner or later! Good Luck!
  • SusanRenee35
    SusanRenee35 Posts: 182 Member
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    show him your pimp hand?

    find a 14lb bowling ball and drop it on the couch next to him and tell him that is what you worked your *kitten* off to lose.


    ****en love that ****!!! :P
  • fallout_ward
    fallout_ward Posts: 2
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    I have the same problem with my wife. It doesn't phase her and she even tries to get me to eat foods she knows I shouldn't eat. She's evil... Anyways, the best thing you can do is ignore and turn to friends for support.
  • Nette_54
    Nette_54 Posts: 265 Member
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    Ignore him - weight loss is for YOU!

    Before you ignore him, why not find out why he's not supportive? Maybe he is feeling neglected, possibly would like to be included, or just plain would like to be a part of your accomplishments. Isn't that what marriage is all about?

    Does you husband need to lose weight too ? If so maybe he feels jealous at what you are achieving, or as was said maybe he feels left out and wants to join your journey. Then there are those who are just plain negative, family and friends can be like that.

    No matter what the weight loss is for you and your good health also so you feel good about yourself, if all else fails just ignore negative attitudes of those who don't support you and do it for yourself.

    Remember too that we are here for you and are your support team
  • geekymom57
    geekymom57 Posts: 176 Member
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    Great tips and a new out look just what I needed. I am proud of myself and no matter what going to continue my weight loss! Lets see how hard we can push ourself this month.
    Great job at changing your attitude toward his lack of support! You're doing this for YOU not him, and your approval and commitment is what matters most/

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