How much do you tell someone new? (Dating after weight loss

KatyG0409

I should have read all the way through -- wow he looked up your DL pic?! That is kinda creepy. So have you already met up with him?

erickirb

I should have read all the way through -- wow he looked up your DL pic?! That is kinda creepy. So have you already met up with him?

I know this may seem creepy to some, but what is the difference then creeping someones Facebook page prior to meeting them? I am sure most people do that.

mea9

I should have read all the way through -- wow he looked up your DL pic?! That is kinda creepy. So have you already met up with him?

I know this may seem creepy to some, but what is the difference then creeping someones Facebook page prior to meeting them? I am sure most people do that.

Your facebook page is "public". We all understand that. Your DL info is private and he had way more info about her than she would ever have had access to about him. His access was not legitimate. He is not supposed to be going into that database for personal reasons. He violated her privacy as well as public trust. He is a substandard person and a bad cop with a sense of entitlement.

erickirb

I should have read all the way through -- wow he looked up your DL pic?! That is kinda creepy. So have you already met up with him?

I know this may seem creepy to some, but what is the difference then creeping someones Facebook page prior to meeting them? I am sure most people do that.

Your facebook page is "public". We all understand that. Your DL info is private and he had way more info about her than she would ever have had access to about him. His access was not legitimate. He is not supposed to be going into that database for personal reasons. He violated her privacy as well as public trust. He is a substandard person and a bad cop with a sense of entitlement.

Point taken.

jpd10905

I should have read all the way through -- wow he looked up your DL pic?! That is kinda creepy. So have you already met up with him?

Met him last night. Didn't like him at all....

ArroganceInStep

I haven't read through all of this thread, but I got through a good chunk of it. I know very well how tender a subject something like that can be and how stupid comments from someone not thinking really can hurt.

Two things about that though. That hurt, though real, is something you choose to let in. (I know nothing about you beyond this thread, so I am admittedly making assumptions about this) You were overweight, you were unhappy with it, and you decided to make a change in your lifestyle for the better. Whatever power a comment about weight may have once had on you no longer needs to if you don't want to let it...you fixed it. This isn't a 'this is your fault for letting it get to you' deal, but rather a reminder that your own personal struggles and resulting accomplishments supersede any insensitive remarks thrown your way. Don't let it get you down!

As for the person who made the remark. The choice on whether you want to surround yourself with people who flub up with words is entirely up to you. But bear in mind that the initial text message was probably more of a joke at folk's tendencies to...doctor photos of themselves for things like online dating than it was about you. It was a weird way to phrase that though.

All that being said, that's just the preliminary 'do I waste my time on you'. You've already pointed out him getting your DL, which was an invasion of your privacy. And also the fact that there was nothing there between you two. Pretty much settles the issue.

My advice would be that going forward, try not to let this be such an important component in your future relationships. "Should I tell him?" "When sould I tell him?" "What will he think?" All these things overshadow the important questions: Do I get along with him? Is he a creepy stalker cop? Does he [Insert list of pet peeves]? Does he like the right football teams? You know...the relationship stuff.

Your weight loss is personal, but it's something to be proud of. Don't hide what you've accomplished, but also don't feel you have to tell someone right away about it too. Do so when you're comfortable. Let comments like his go, it's only a big deal if you let it be.

jpd10905

I haven't read through all of this thread, but I got through a good chunk of it. I know very well how tender a subject something like that can be and how stupid comments from someone not thinking really can hurt.

Two things about that though. That hurt, though real, is something you choose to let in. (I know nothing about you beyond this thread, so I am admittedly making assumptions about this) You were overweight, you were unhappy with it, and you decided to make a change in your lifestyle for the better. Whatever power a comment about weight may have once had on you no longer needs to if you don't want to let it...you fixed it. This isn't a 'this is your fault for letting it get to you' deal, but rather a reminder that your own personal struggles and resulting accomplishments supersede any insensitive remarks thrown your way. Don't let it get you down!

As for the person who made the remark. The choice on whether you want to surround yourself with people who flub up with words is entirely up to you. But bear in mind that the initial text message was probably more of a joke at folk's tendencies to...doctor photos of themselves for things like online dating than it was about you. It was a weird way to phrase that though.

All that being said, that's just the preliminary 'do I waste my time on you'. You've already pointed out him getting your DL, which was an invasion of your privacy. And also the fact that there was nothing there between you two. Pretty much settles the issue.

My advice would be that going forward, try not to let this be such an important component in your future relationships. "Should I tell him?" "When sould I tell him?" "What will he think?" All these things overshadow the siimportant questions: Do I get along with him? Is he a creepy stalker cop? Does he [Insert list of pet peeves]? Does he like the right football teams? You know...the relationship stuff.

Your weight loss is personal, but it's something to be proud of. Don't hide what you've accomplished, but also don't feel you have to tell someone right away about it too. Do so when you're comfortable. Let comments like his go, it's only a big deal if you let it be.

Thanks. You pretty much said everything I've decided over the past few days. It was a little bit of a mind f for me, but I guess I needed to come to terms with this stuff.

Now, had I focused on the IMPORTANT stuff, I would have been fine! Creepy stalker cop is an FSU fan. I could never be with an FSU fan! : )