confrontation, what do you think?

sunkisses

I would feign an allergy and ask her, like you said, to not stand so close because her fragrance has triggered it twice or three times orn whatever. Just so she knows you're not just saying "Hey - you stink." I'd be really apologetic about it, even though I don't think you've done anything wrong. It just makes you look like you're not being a b*tch about it. From there, I'd take it to management and try to get a no fragrance policy put into place, as previously suggested.

otr12

Maybe I'm the only dirty mind here, but I bet she is working out close to you because has a girlcrush.

Which also explains why she is wearing the perfume... she wants to smell nice so you will talk to her.

That's what I'm thinking.

adjones5

I would feign an allergy and ask her, like you said, to not stand so close because her fragrance has triggered it twice or three times orn whatever. Just so she knows you're not just saying "Hey - you stink." I'd be really apologetic about it, even though I don't think you've done anything wrong. It just makes you look like you're not being a b*tch about it. From there, I'd take it to management and try to get a no fragrance policy put into place, as previously suggested.

Agreed.

tabbydog

I would make sure not to say that her perfume smells "strong" or anything like that. Maybe even compliment the fragrance "I have noticed your perfume, and it smells really nice, but I must have an allergy to something in it. Would you mind not working out near me, or maybe waiting to put in on after your workout?" Something like that. If you are sugar sweet, how can she refuse?

courtneymomofone

People suffering from allergies to synthetic fragrances is becoming a bigger and bigger deal - it's also largely the reason why so many companies enforce a fragrance-free workplace now. Just casually mentioning that you notice she likes to join you for your workouts, and while you appreciate the comraderie, unfortunately the fragrances she wears are triggering your allergies and make it incredibly uncomfortable to continue your workout. Maybe add that this is the reason you keep having to find a machine away from her, and that it's not personal - just self-preservation.

If I'm addressing my fragrance allergy with someone who's wearing something overbearing, I always lighten the conversation by adding that my grocery trips have to be done with someone or I send my husband back without me to get anything on the soaps/detergents aisle because I can't even walk down it! We usually have a chuckle and I say how sad it is, because it really is. Since having my son, I'm MUCH more sensitive to fragrances and they trigger horrible migraines.

MrBrown72

Personally I have no issue asking someone to keep their distance. However as you seem to want to not begin a dialogue with this woman (which may be wise as the over perfuming can be contagious, I've noticed they run in packs) there are still a few options.

May I suggest you develop horrible gas? Releasing the squeakers while running is natures way of asking for your personal space. If you can add a smell that will curl her nose hairs and cause the paint on the machine to melt it's only fair. You've dealt with her stench long enough. Give back one of your own.

JDMPWR

New time she does it, just fart real loud. She will get the hint either from the sound OR the smell.....I know that's what I do!

smedlund

When I was in college freshman year, I lived in the dorms. We shared a bathroom with the neighboring room. One of the girls in the neighboring room didn't shower for weeks. I talked to our RA and she was uncomfortable about talking to her about this issue...well, needless to say, I had to sit down with the bath mate and tell her that there's been an issue with the "smell". As much as I hated to do it, it had to be done. The smell was really interfering with the entire floor and I was getting extreme headaches. Sometimes when you tell the truth, that's what works the best. It all worked out in the end and the bath mate wasn't offended when I told her.

I think that if you approach it in a non-confrontational manner, it will be ok. If you're getting headaches, you have to say something. She probably doesn't realize that its affecting anyone.

imcsqrd

From what you've described, the passive solutions offered won't work. It seems she wants to be near you (maybe for her own motivation) for whatever reasons and moving to another machine every time she shows will definitely foster ill will. After a few times of that, she'll pick up on that and be offended for sure. My husband is very, very sensitive to perfumes and since we are a perfume free house, heavy perfume on someone will lead to a headache for me. I carpooled with a lady for over a year who layered her perfume - body soap, lotion, then perfume. She reeked! After the first time she rode in my car and after I got home, my family and I took off for dinner out. We did not get a block from the house and had to go back due to a violent sneezing attack my husband had due to her perfume. I very politely told her the next day that on the weeks I drove, she had to be perfume free or we wouldn't be able to carpool due to my husband's allergies. She was very nice about it and even toned it down on the weeks she drove. I had people at work thanking me for getting her to tone it down.

As fas the lady at the gym, try pressing it with the staff again and bring up your reaction to her perfume. Point out that if you or someone get ill, pass out, etc. at their establishment because of the perfume, they are liable. That might get their attention. If they still don't act, follow the polite suggestions you've been given about approaching her and explaining what the perfume is doing to you. You might tell her it's nice to have someone else working out nearby and staying motivated by that, but you are faced with changing your workout altogether if the perfume issue can't be resolved. Be nice and unless she's a total meanie, she should understand and stop. Good luck!

MIMITIME

I like the mask idea. If you put it on every time she gets near you, she will either ask why or stop getting near you. If she ask, you can politely tell her no offense but you are allergic to her perfume.

jetscreaminagain

WOW- this could be a tough one. I think its all in how you say. Start very nice, like hi, how are you? Then say something like i love your dedication, i see you everyday. Next lead with you have very bad allergies or sinus issues and that perfume and strong orders make them worst and you noticed that when she works out near you have issues. Last end with it really great that's she working out and your not trying to offend her its just you want to get the best workout too.

She may not even know its that strong since no one has told her. If she's a classy lady she'll take your words in the kind spirit you give them. If she's not hopefully she'll get mad that when you arrive or she see's you at the gym she moves far away from you.

This. Sandwich it in nice complimentary stuff. When addressing the complaint stick to facts: I notice your perfume I notice I have a strong allergic reaction, looks like there are other machines a little ways away you can choose.

Establish your respect for her hard work and say you hate to make this strange request but you seem to be chemically sensitive and she seems like such a nice person you were hoping she'd understand.

Even though you may be uncomfortable try to resist relieving your discomfort by joking. It would come out wrong if youre anything like me.

hardatwork45

Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

My gym membership is free its a military installation and I'd rather smell a soldier who has been running all morning and coming to the gym to lift weights than to smell her perfume. Smells don't really bother me I have 5 brothers and 3 sons,not saying that men stink but when they have been playing ball and sweating its something to deal with...LOL

I'm going to talk with management in the morning to see what if anything they can do about practicing a scent free environment. Changing my time slot is not an option for me.

Thanks again,
I'll let you guys know what management says.

hardatwork45

I vote NO. Do not confront her. There are other areas of the gym that you can move to when she comes up beside you. So sorry if you felt like doing the elliptical, go play on the treadmill or the weight circuit, or the bikes, or the stair steppers, or the free weight area, or the stability ball.....anywhere else. Or change the time you go. I think it wouldn't solve anything to confront her, if anything it will piss her off and cause her to make it a point to come near you just to make the B who told her she stinks suffer. IMO.

WOW!!!!!,
this was pretty strong, I don't know how your gym is set up but at my gym all of your suggestions are in the same area so there is no where for me to run. I use the elliptical because its the ONLY machine I can use because of a knee injury, I prefer to be outside running instead of inside the gym but I can't.

hardatwork45

Maybe I'm the only dirty mind here, but I bet she is working out close to you because has a girlcrush.

Which also explains why she is wearing the perfume... she wants to smell nice so you will talk to her.

That's what I'm thinking.

LOL,
I think its a man thing, my husband said the same thing and he just laughs when he sees her coming in.

hardatwork45

Don’t confront her. Take the passive aggressive approach by eating lots of high-fiber foods, specifically, beans before a work out. Broccoli won’t hurt either. When she starts coming around wearing her overbearing perfume, start ripping mad *kitten* around her. She won’t want to come around you again.

OMG, too funny, I needed this laugh, I would be too embarassed to do it but it sounds funny!!!!
Maybe I can get someone else to do it to her so she can see how it feels.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

sabified

WOW- this could be a tough one. I think its all in how you say. Start very nice, like hi, how are you? Then say something like i love your dedication, i see you everyday. Next lead with you have very bad allergies or sinus issues and that perfume and strong orders make them worst and you noticed that when she works out near you have issues. Last end with it really great that's she working out and your not trying to offend her its just you want to get the best workout too.

She may not even know its that strong since no one has told her. If she's a classy lady she'll take your words in the kind spirit you give them. If she's not hopefully she'll get mad that when you arrive or she see's you at the gym she moves far away from you.

I agree with this approach... I don't think you should not approach her (err... does that make sense?)... If she is doing something that makes you uncomfortable to the point where it's affecting your use of the facilities (which you have just as much right to as she does) then you should do something about it. Actually, the staff should, but they sound like a buncha wimps. Speaking with her respectfully is the least you can do... if she responds badly, then it sucks but at least you've done what you can do.

Ebbykins

1. Your gym SUCKS for management's lack of balls. Yes, it is clearly bothering someone. There is no reason they can't post a "please no perfumes as some of our patrons are sensitive" at the front desk and in the locker rooms.

2. I would not mention it to her. It won't go well.

3. Change machines - and if you don't like that, change gyms and find one where management has balls and takes care of business.

This ^^ I wouldn't be supporting somewhere that didn't cater to just plain common sense unless I absolutely have to and saying something to her isn't going to work well.... Wouldn't it be funny that she's paranoid of smelling bad during her workout and puts it on specifically just before her gym time... LOL. Ohhh neurotic people are so fun to watch though.

ak_in_ak

You shouldn't have to suffer...you should be able to work out without that...I agree with a previous poster about commenting on her committment, and then say that politely that you are allergic to all perfume, and it is bothering you. If someone had come up to me and told me, I wouldn't be mad...but that's just me. I would want someone to tell me if I'm offending someone!

I agree, I don't think you should have to suffer. She probly doesn't realize it. Even if you do hurt her feelings it is not the end of the world.

PlanetVelma

1. Your gym SUCKS for management's lack of balls. Yes, it is clearly bothering someone. There is no reason they can't post a "please no perfumes as some of our patrons are sensitive" at the front desk and in the locker rooms.

2. I would not mention it to her. It won't go well.

3. Change machines - and if you don't like that, change gyms and find one where management has balls and takes care of business.

THIS!!!

Many places of employment have "scent free" zones due to people with allergies, etc.... I would go to management and let them know that the employees refused to assist you. It is their JOB to make sure everyone is comfortable...uh, and can BREATH!

Not only that, some perfumes will smell great on some people and horrible on other people - if I really liked a perfume but it smelled awful, I would want to know. Although I would probably only say something if I knew that person REALLY well.

ninerbuff

Easy way to solve this......................................buy a "fart" machine and sound it off every time she's near you. And say excuse me to her each time. I promise you this works.

mrmarler

1. the above post hilarious
2. I would ask for the gym manager, she is bothering you, I totally understand, I am supersensitive to smells, If the manager wont do anything, I would confront her, the worst she thing she could do is be rude to you and talk about you to her friends, and not get on a machine right next to you.

atsteele

You could try a less offensive approach such as a "it's me, not you" appeal. For example, "I have allergies and certain perfumes make me sneeze, congested and even nauseous. I wouldn't have said anything except I notice that we seem to work out at the exact same time and use the same equipment. I would really appreciate it if you didn't wear perfume to the gym, for my sake." If she doesn't care or disregards this, there really isn't much you can do, other than avoiding her like the plague. Good luck!

Nick0sm0m

Don’t confront her. Take the passive aggressive approach by eating lots of high-fiber foods, specifically, beans before a work out. Broccoli won’t hurt either. When she starts coming around wearing her overbearing perfume, start ripping mad *kitten* around her. She won’t want to come around you again.

This is an amazing response!