How not to seem rude at a family gathering?

Options
2»

Replies

  • sarah829522
    sarah829522 Posts: 139
    Options
    My trainer gave me great advice he said if it really gets bothersome like if people are bringing you food or putting things on your plate or taunting you with desserts, you can pull people individually aside and confront them and say something like "it upsets me that you don't want me to succeed." That usually shuts them up and makes them stop.
  • WillieEverlearn
    WillieEverlearn Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    I think invoking an authority figure as a "bad cop" can often work in these situations. Just say something like, "At my last checkup, my doctor told me I needed to make some changes, and so he (or she) has me on this new eating plan." Is it a lie? Well, probably not. Whose doctor hasn't said you need to eat better, get more fit? It makes family and friends feel you'd really LOVE to have another burger and a big slab of cheesecake, but that dang doctor of yours is ruining it. At the same time, because your family and friends love you, they really don't want to go against your doctor's orders.

    One benefit of being a cancer survivor (hey, I try to look on the bright side): it's an immediate trump card in these situations. "You know, after my lymphoma treatment, my medical team said I needed to make some changes in my diet." That usually ends the discussion. :)
  • TSSC
    TSSC Posts: 4
    Options
    My thoughts are why blame it on your wife? That must make her feel great. If YOU need to lose weight, own it and either explain or don't to family/friends but don't pass the buck.
  • Dannypuck
    Dannypuck Posts: 1,067 Member
    Options
    My thoughts are why blame it on your wife? That must make her feel great. If YOU need to lose weight, own it and either explain or don't to family/friends but don't pass the buck.

    if it sounded like a blamed her, then I'm sorry. Food is usually the center of gatherings on all sides of the family. I know it's a part of the culture, and I am looking to break it. I think I've been more than supportive to her.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    Options
    I struggled with this for awhile, my family wouldn't say anything but everyone puts the focus on me and it makes me uncomfortable.
    Well, after adding up the calories from one meal, I threw my hands up in the air and said enough. Since then, I've been bringing my own food to the grillouts. I pack a couple of black bean burgers and a couple of sandwich thin buns, and offer to share what I have in anyway wants some. I bring a bag of baked chips and veggies. I need to be able to enjoy myself with my extended family, instead of being sooo hungry and not having any decent food options available.
    Yeah, I get some *kitten* for it, teasing and the like. But I know its in good fun, and have found that if I just straight up say "I'm watching my calories, would you mind grilling these for me instead?" the issue is dropped and we move on.
  • kcmartian
    kcmartian Posts: 18
    Options
    i understand what you mean. i come from a family and cultural background where not eating a host's food or accepting any and all food offers is rude. we just use food to show love and generosity, so to reject it (for whatever reason) seems rude and ungrateful to the offerer.

    my solution has always been to just take the food and then take really really small bites and eat very very slowly so that i just have a lot of leftovers. by the end of the party or get together, people usually don't notice (or they've drunk too much to anyways haha)
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Options
    I'd just eat what you want to eat from what's available, and if someone offers you something you like but don't want to eat (ie, cake, pie, a fourth hot dog, jagerbombs, whatever), say, "Not yet" or "I'm getting to it..." Postpone it, then be "too full" when they offer again later. And always bring along a side dish of something you will want to eat.

    I don't want to burden my friends or family members with what might seem to them to be strange dietary requirements, or bring down the atmosphere of a party bringing diet and health talk into it. I made a personal vow to never discuss calories or macros at social events. :tongue:
  • rachel1496
    rachel1496 Posts: 65
    Options
    Make a point to eat slower while you're there. I find that the "eat more" talk only happens when my plate is empty, if I eat slowly and keep food on my plate for a while no one really notices what I'm eating or not eating.
  • Jean410
    Jean410 Posts: 104
    Options
    Family is tough. Maybe you're more self-concious about it and they really don't see it as a big deal - simply commenting. Be honest and tell them it's for YOUR health not just to support your wife. It's hard for me too because everything in my family revolves around food. And NOBODY brings anything healthy EVER! LOL Very hard, but learning to limit myself around them and insist there are healthier choices.

Categories