Creepy guy in the weight room advice

FORKDOWN

You go on ahead and be paranoid all you want. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose in trusting this person. I would let another male staff member know your concerns. Its not destroying a persons reputation if you tell just one person or 2 if you are wrong.

Signed,


Father of 2 daughters.

Jeff92se

Ok. What is everyone going to tell the supervisor and what do you think he/she can/will do about it?

Is there a creep code of conduct in the gym's rules upon signing on the dotted line?

Moofey

Throw a dumbbell at him...

ZachyABaby

i caught a bum lying in the bushes outside my gym jerking it to the zumba class one time. this is not that bad.

totally agree you're being a little paranoid, though. informing gym staff of one isolated of dude staring or even following you is a little extreme. if it happens again, yeah.

Avalonis

Aren't you a bit too paranoid? I mean he could simply be checking you out or perhaps want to ask for advice but to shy too ask?

Unfortunately as women we have to be overly paranoid due to the way that men are raised to believe that sexual harassment (even just staring and checking somebody out) is acceptable. If he is just too shy to ask a question, he needs to get over it and understand that his behavior is coming across weird. And if he is checking her out it's unsolicited and unwanted sexual harassment in her work place. No man has the right to make any woman feel uncomfortable.

Ok, this is craziness. you are assuming he is a creeper because of a "creepy vibe" that someone gets? By all means, she should take precautions, (telling staff, asking for an escort to her car, carrying mace/stungun/pistol) but calling staring at an attractive woman sexual harassment is just plain old crazy.

All I hear when you say that is "MOOOOMMMMM. HES LOOKIN AT ME!!!!"

Jesus. Go to a curves if you can't deal with men seeing you.

Better yet, become a nun.

Jeff92se

i caught a bum lying in the bushes outside my gym jerking it to the zumba class one time. this is not that bad.

hahaha!

Scott613

Maybe he was staring at you without knowing he was freaking you out.........now if he was pointing at you, licking his lips,shaking his head up and down, then rubbing his hands together yeah I could see why you're freaked out.

fteale

If it's the first time you've seen him it may be the last. See if he turns up again, see if he acts the same, if he does, then say something to a supervisor.

There's nothing wrong with going with your gut feeling if he comes back. It is too dangerous to ignore a nasty feeling just because politeness dictates you don't kick up a scene. I am not saying this from female paranoia, I am saying it from hard experience.

Jeff92se

I'll ask again, exactly what do you tell the supervisior and what do you expect that person to do about it?

Avalonis

I'll ask again, exactly what do you tell the supervisior and what do you expect that person to do about it?

Personally, I think they are overreacting. However, if she isn't comfortable, she should just explain she has a weird feeling about someone and ask for an escort to her car. Thats being safe without offending anyone or labeling anyone as a creeper.

Hoppymom

Go with your gut. Tell someone before it happens again. To all the men who think this is parnoid I feel that you are wrong, for this reason: Good guys don't often comprehend how many really creepy guy are in the world. My husband was one of those guys who thought teaching stranger danger was unnecessary and he felt that the idea of date rape was ubsurd, until I started showing him the statistics. When he realized how many women report rapes and how and assaults, and how many of them knew their attacker, he was shocked. Our daughters weren't taught to be paranoid but they were educated to think and be aware of their surroundings and to trust their instincts. Our sons were taught that no means no, you can't have everything or everyone that you want, and not to do things that might make a woman feel uncomfortable. Being creeped out usually means that something is very wrong.

CaWaterBug8

i caught a bum lying in the bushes outside my gym jerking it to the zumba class one time. this is not that bad.

totally agree you're being a little paranoid, though. informing gym staff of one isolated of dude staring or even following you is a little extreme. if it happens again, yeah.

Maybe he was staring at you without knowing he was freaking you out.........now if he was pointing at you, licking his lips,shaking his head up and down, then rubbing his hands together yeah I could see why you're freaked out.

Ewww!!! HAhahahaha Honestly, just inform other staff members but don't freak out just yet unless he's as Scott described.

I go to the gym anywhere from 8pm to 1 (sometimes 2)AM and I see a lot of people who give me weird vibes. I don't freak out over it though because I carry my mace and I do my best to park right in front and under lighting.
If I were ever to have any sort of encounter, however, then I would certainly inform a staff member immediately and proceed to either have someone escort and/or watch me to my car from the front desk, or wait inside the gym until safe.
I also carry mace and make sure to walk with my head up high.

Jeff92se

You carry an ear of corn everywhere you go for protection?

mamafrahm

Maybe he was staring at you without knowing he was freaking you out.........now if he was pointing at you, licking his lips,shaking his head up and down, then rubbing his hands together yeah I could see why you're freaked out.

LOL

red01angel

Am I the only person who thinks she (or someone else at the gym) should approach him and engage him in friendly conversation? When I worked retail, they always said that if you see someone acting suspiciously, then you should engage them. It's disarming, lets them know that you've noticed them (and their behavior) and can give you a better read on whether he's a creeper, has some sort of disorder, or is just socially retarded so you can figure out a resolution from there.

barbiex3

Also the guys in here that think we're being overly-paranoid...fortunately for you, you will never have to live life with the fear that somebody will attack you simply because you're viewed as an inferior and weak person due to your gender. You don't have to carry rape whistles, mace, pepper spray, tasers and other precautions when going for a jog. You don't have to worry like a woman does. Is this guy more than likely harmless, of course, but as women who deal with living life like this, we have to be overly cautious. Women are always blamed for everything. "She wanted it", "she was dressed scantily" etc. We're always blamed and told it's out fault we're attacked and raped. So yeah, we are paranoid, because god forbid this guy is a sicko and thinks that in her workout clothes, she's trying to seduce him or whatever. We have to be overly cautious because society teaches us that if we aren't, bad things will happen to us and they will be our fault. Be lucky, you can live a much more worry free life.

Go for a jog on the south side of CHicago, I don't care if you are a man or woman, you will feel that way. Its not as if men are impervious to fear. Stop generalizing. Men and boys are victims quite often as well. While I do agree that women may be more at risk, its not as if men never encounter such circumstances.

And live a worry free life, this type of generalization is something to worry about. We can be pegged as a stalker by looking at someone.

I think you should go with your gut, tell someone, and take precautions. If the behavior continues I'm sure the manager could confront the guy and remove his membership if it came to harrassment

I'm not saying men don't have to fear as well but it's not the same as for women. Also, we are generalized as well. If a woman is dressed in a low cut shirt or a mini skirt, she's a slut or a *kitten*. Not all men are skeezy but regardless of all of the generalizations, she doesn't deserve to feel uncomfortable albeit from a man or woman.

this is completely uncalled for. "Constant state of paranoia"? Why?

I certainly don't feel like I am living under these said conditions. I also find it VERY hard to believe that most women live in a "constant state" of PARANIA that men are going to hurt them... That is actually extremely unhealthy if this is the case for you.


ALSO--- YOU CANNOT judge someone's intent of actions or character based on a "VIBE". That is something women really enjoy doing, and they also "stick to their instincts".... but that is not a defense or grounds for a potential bad person.

I'm just gonna tell you that probably 75% of the time at least, GUYS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE EVEN DOING. People sometimes stare off into space, and you happen to be in their way... don't take it so personally....

Sometimes people just happen to be LOOKING IN OUR direction, but that doesn't mean they are going to murder us!!!!

THAT BEING SAID:
I've been followed by a car while jogging (on multiple occasions)
I get "hollered" at DAILY either while i'm running or just walking to school by guys
I get checked out EVERY SINGLE TIME I'm at the gym

Does it make me uncomfortable? Kinda.
Did I die? No.
Am I mentally scared for life? No.

DID I GET OVER IT AND REALIZE THIS STUFF HAPPENS TO PEOPLE ON A DAILY BASIS?!: YES!!!


Women have it hard? I think not. At least we are not constantly accused of being a sexual preditor just because you happened to look in someones direction!!!

barbiex3

Maybe he was staring at you without knowing he was freaking you out.........now if he was pointing at you, licking his lips,shaking his head up and down, then rubbing his hands together yeah I could see why you're freaked out.

THISSSS!!! OMGG. thank you !!!!!

cvaneaton

Re the DR apt. Good one! Listen to your insticts and be safe!

CaWaterBug8

You carry an ear of corn everywhere you go for protection?

Yeah! Doesn't everyone????

PS. It's fixed now. haha

sandrinamsilva

If you work there maybe you can go up to him and ask him if he is new, or if he needs any help with anything that you would be willing to find someone that can help him?

Kinda just saying I see you see me? But if dont feel safe then you need to make sure you are with a buddy at all times. Good Luck hopefully it's a shy harmless new guy being awkward and not knowing it.

Jeff92se

Probably best just to nuke the entire gym from space. Just to be sure.

sandrinamsilva

Am I the only person who thinks she (or someone else at the gym) should approach him and engage him in friendly conversation? When I worked retail, they always said that if you see someone acting suspiciously, then you should engage them. It's disarming, lets them know that you've noticed them (and their behavior) and can give you a better read on whether he's a creeper, has some sort of disorder, or is just socially retarded so you can figure out a resolution from there.

Exactly what I was just thinking!

fteale

I think talking to him would be a mistake. If he is a stalker he'll take it as a come on. Get one of the men to talk to him and see what he's like.

Jeff92se

I think talking to him would be a mistake. If he is a stalker he'll take it as a come on. Get one of the men to talk to him and see what he's like.

bisexual? I'd hate to be that guy.

Nickstery

I know that I am guilty of checking out the gym hottie when i go to work out. Typically it is just glances for the simple fact that I don't want to seem like a creeper... If both of them are getting that feeling it isn't because he is just checking them out it is the intent behind the stares that is causing that. As Guys we are generally oblivious to this unless it is happening to someone that we care about.

sofaking6

Aren't you a bit too paranoid? I mean he could simply be checking you out or perhaps want to ask for advice but to shy too ask?

valid point

Written and validated by guys...

fteale

Aren't you a bit too paranoid? I mean he could simply be checking you out or perhaps want to ask for advice but to shy too ask?

valid point

Written and validated by guys...

Of course. Sorry, but this is one male advise is worthless on. You are too trusting of other men. There ARE creeps out there who do hurt people. Every day.

onefitdiva

Maybe he was staring at you without knowing he was freaking you out.........now if he was pointing at you, licking his lips,shaking his head up and down, then rubbing his hands together yeah I could see why you're freaked out.

Short and sweet and more so DEAD ON!

Avalonis

Of course. Sorry, but this is one male advise is worthless on. You are too trusting of other men. There ARE creeps out there who do hurt people. Every day.

No one is saying don't protect yourself or take precautions. We are saying don't assume he is a crazy rapist.

By all means, make sure you protect yourself. Kind of like you don't take a drink from a stranger, or get into a van with someone offering you candy.

iplayoutside19

I have a wife and I daughter and I know if their "Mr Creepy" meter is going off it's for a good reason. (I think that's nature, not society) Should guys be hauled off because they checked a woman out in the gym? No, but this person followed her. That's a little more than a glance that lasted too long.

I've only been going to my Y for 9 months. But I've been there long enough to know who the regulars are, and know some weird behavior if I saw it. I would imagine after 5 years something like this would stand out.

Tell someone at the Gym because, you never know, she may not be the only one he's followed. I'm sure she won't be the first one to report an aleged creeper. Not like she's calling the police. More people being aware is the first line of defense against crime.