Creepy guy in the weight room advice

prdough

Also the guys in here that think we're being overly-paranoid...fortunately for you, you will never have to live life with the fear that somebody will attack you simply because you're viewed as an inferior and weak person due to your gender. You don't have to carry rape whistles, mace, pepper spray, tasers and other precautions when going for a jog. You don't have to worry like a woman does. Is this guy more than likely harmless, of course, but as women who deal with living life like this, we have to be overly cautious. Women are always blamed for everything. "She wanted it", "she was dressed scantily" etc. We're always blamed and told it's out fault we're attacked and raped. So yeah, we are paranoid, because god forbid this guy is a sicko and thinks that in her workout clothes, she's trying to seduce him or whatever. We have to be overly cautious because society teaches us that if we aren't, bad things will happen to us and they will be our fault. Be lucky, you can live a much more worry free life.

Go for a jog on the south side of CHicago, I don't care if you are a man or woman, you will feel that way. Its not as if men are impervious to fear. Stop generalizing. Men and boys are victims quite often as well. While I do agree that women may be more at risk, its not as if men never encounter such circumstances.

And live a worry free life, this type of generalization is something to worry about. We can be pegged as a stalker by looking at someone.

I think you should go with your gut, tell someone, and take precautions. If the behavior continues I'm sure the manager could confront the guy and remove his membership if it came to harrassment

Sweet13_Princess

I don't know as if I would say anything to the gym personel, as it could be that you're just misreading the guy... plus he's new. You don't want to label him if you've misinterpreted his actions as "creepy."

I would, however, be careful around him. Try to have a buddy when you leave the gym. I would probably stay away from him, if you can. Gut instincts can often be right about people, so nowaday's it's just not worth the risk.

Shannon

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Fine, tell the authorities and have him arrested.

Really, who's over reacting now? I asked for advice in case an uncomfortable and creepy situation where something out of the ordinary occured happened in anticipation that it may happen again, or may become a pattern. So your solution is to ignore my instincts and not be prepared? I'm not persecuting him, I'm trying to prepare myself.

heybrit

Also the guys in here that think we're being overly-paranoid...fortunately for you, you will never have to live life with the fear that somebody will attack you simply because you're viewed as an inferior and weak person due to your gender. You don't have to carry rape whistles, mace, pepper spray, tasers and other precautions when going for a jog. You don't have to worry like a woman does. Is this guy more than likely harmless, of course, but as women who deal with living life like this, we have to be overly cautious. Women are always blamed for everything. "She wanted it", "she was dressed scantily" etc. We're always blamed and told it's out fault we're attacked and raped. So yeah, we are paranoid, because god forbid this guy is a sicko and thinks that in her workout clothes, she's trying to seduce him or whatever. We have to be overly cautious because society teaches us that if we aren't, bad things will happen to us and they will be our fault. Be lucky, you can live a much more worry free life.

Go for a jog on the south side of CHicago, I don't care if you are a man or woman, you will feel that way. Its not as if men are impervious to fear. Stop generalizing. Men and boys are victims quite often as well. While I do agree that women may be more at risk, its not as if men never encounter such circumstances.

And live a worry free life, this type of generalization is something to worry about. We can be pegged as a stalker by looking at someone.

I think you should go with your gut, tell someone, and take precautions. If the behavior continues I'm sure the manager could confront the guy and remove his membership if it came to harrassment

I'm not saying men don't have to fear as well but it's not the same as for women. Also, we are generalized as well. If a woman is dressed in a low cut shirt or a mini skirt, she's a slut or a *kitten*. Not all men are skeezy but regardless of all of the generalizations, she doesn't deserve to feel uncomfortable albeit from a man or woman.

Jeff92se

That was sarcasm.

I can't tell if you think he's gong to attack you while at the gym? I think that's being paranoid.

If you think he's trying to size you up for something later, then okay. But if that's the case, then he's already revealed his hand. You already know who he is and I'm pretty positive you aren't going to let that guy within 30 yards of you while you're alone.

If he's actually checking you out THAT much, talk to the guy. Say "hey, what's up with the googily eyes man?"

Ocarina

I wanted to recommend as well to listen to your gut and tell your supervisor. Especially if you see him again.

I stupidly but instinctively called the cops earlier last week because I thought the noise of something banging up my stairs and a shadow walking past my door was a man in my house. It ended up being my cat acting in a super weird hyper mood. There was six or so cops at my house, they searched the premises and double checked there was nobody there. This looked like a drug bust scene with all the neighbors spectating around (I live in a neighborhood). I was totally embarrassed but would rather cause a ruckus for the first time in two whole years of living here then risk getting killed by a burglar or psycho. My husband was at work and he works in a huge complex for the government so he was not contactable in case you are wondering lol. Do what you have to do to be safe because a lot of it can be prevented by being extra cautious.

rossi02

And live a worry free life, this type of generalization is something to worry about. We can be pegged as a stalker by looking at someone.

It's hard to explain.. but men aren't seen as creepy for looking at women, it's more of a leer I guess. It goes beyond a nice friendly look and a smile.

Enforcer25

There is nothing wrong with letting someone at the gym know, if nobody else notices this behavior, than what is the big deal, she can feel at ease, nobody here knows this guy or witnessed his behavior except the op, so what is the harm in mentioning it to another staff member. Don't ignore your gut instinct, I know I don't.

Sookie_182

if you are really nervous look into basic self defence, just so that if worst comes to worst in any situation (touch wood it wont happen) at least you wont freeze and you can at least do something to shock him and getting the hell out of there!

Tammylyn117

I too think you should just let someone know (a supervisor; fellow instructor; etc). You can never be to careful. Usually your gut instinct is right on. There was something that gave you that feeling. Just be safe.

FORKDOWN

You go on ahead and be paranoid all you want. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose in trusting this person. I would let another male staff member know your concerns. Its not destroying a persons reputation if you tell just one person or 2 if you are wrong.

Signed,


Father of 2 daughters.

Jeff92se

Ok. What is everyone going to tell the supervisor and what do you think he/she can/will do about it?

Is there a creep code of conduct in the gym's rules upon signing on the dotted line?

Moofey

Throw a dumbbell at him...

ZachyABaby

i caught a bum lying in the bushes outside my gym jerking it to the zumba class one time. this is not that bad.

totally agree you're being a little paranoid, though. informing gym staff of one isolated of dude staring or even following you is a little extreme. if it happens again, yeah.

Avalonis

Aren't you a bit too paranoid? I mean he could simply be checking you out or perhaps want to ask for advice but to shy too ask?

Unfortunately as women we have to be overly paranoid due to the way that men are raised to believe that sexual harassment (even just staring and checking somebody out) is acceptable. If he is just too shy to ask a question, he needs to get over it and understand that his behavior is coming across weird. And if he is checking her out it's unsolicited and unwanted sexual harassment in her work place. No man has the right to make any woman feel uncomfortable.

Ok, this is craziness. you are assuming he is a creeper because of a "creepy vibe" that someone gets? By all means, she should take precautions, (telling staff, asking for an escort to her car, carrying mace/stungun/pistol) but calling staring at an attractive woman sexual harassment is just plain old crazy.

All I hear when you say that is "MOOOOMMMMM. HES LOOKIN AT ME!!!!"

Jesus. Go to a curves if you can't deal with men seeing you.

Better yet, become a nun.

Jeff92se

i caught a bum lying in the bushes outside my gym jerking it to the zumba class one time. this is not that bad.

hahaha!

Scott613

Maybe he was staring at you without knowing he was freaking you out.........now if he was pointing at you, licking his lips,shaking his head up and down, then rubbing his hands together yeah I could see why you're freaked out.

fteale

If it's the first time you've seen him it may be the last. See if he turns up again, see if he acts the same, if he does, then say something to a supervisor.

There's nothing wrong with going with your gut feeling if he comes back. It is too dangerous to ignore a nasty feeling just because politeness dictates you don't kick up a scene. I am not saying this from female paranoia, I am saying it from hard experience.

Jeff92se

I'll ask again, exactly what do you tell the supervisior and what do you expect that person to do about it?

Avalonis

I'll ask again, exactly what do you tell the supervisior and what do you expect that person to do about it?

Personally, I think they are overreacting. However, if she isn't comfortable, she should just explain she has a weird feeling about someone and ask for an escort to her car. Thats being safe without offending anyone or labeling anyone as a creeper.