Young boys pressured to be masculine- what do you think?

fteale

I think gender roles are stupid. My son does ballet, and had a lot of stick from the boys in his year for it, but he is sticking it out for now. I think most boys would do a lot better to try to be more feminine, not more laddish.

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

I think gender roles are stupid. My son does ballet, and had a lot of stick from the boys in his year for it, but he is sticking it out for now. I think most boys would do a lot better to try to be more feminine, not more laddish.

Good on him! Do people not know that you have to be very strong & disciplined to do ballet?

Avalonis

I see physical fighting as a weakness, because they know they are wrong, ran out of words & resort to violence.

Not everything can be settled without violence, no matter how much people pretend it can.

With that being said, this does not sound like something that needs violence to settle

voluptas63

People pick on what's different. Either be different or the same. But don't get pissy when people don't like you because you're different. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE DIFFERENT. Not everybody wants to be different. Some people just want to blend in. It works for them. If your brother is fine being who is he, he needs to sack up. Plain and simple.

fteale

I think gender roles are stupid. My son does ballet, and had a lot of stick from the boys in his year for it, but he is sticking it out for now. I think most boys would do a lot better to try to be more feminine, not more laddish.

Good on him! Do people not know that you have to be very strong & disciplined to do ballet?

I think they might gather it looking at him, he's the only 6 year old I know with a 6 pack.

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

I see physical fighting as a weakness, because they know they are wrong, ran out of words & resort to violence.

Not everything can be settled without violence, no matter how much people pretend it can.

With that being said, this does not sound like something that needs violence to settle

"Not everything can be settled without violence." The reason why we have war. Those idiots in his school do need a good beating though!

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

I think gender roles are stupid. My son does ballet, and had a lot of stick from the boys in his year for it, but he is sticking it out for now. I think most boys would do a lot better to try to be more feminine, not more laddish.

Good on him! Do people not know that you have to be very strong & disciplined to do ballet?

I think they might gather it looking at him, he's the only 6 year old I know with a 6 pack.

Wow! My mother pushed me to do ballet when I was 5-6, I was hopeless! Not everyone can do ballet, you must be proud of him

fteale

People pick on what's different. Either be different or the same. But don't get pissy when people don't like you because you're different. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE DIFFERENT. Not everybody wants to be different. Some people just want to blend in. It works for them. If your brother is fine being who is he, he needs to sack up. Plain and simple.

That's rubbish. Why can't people just be left to do what they want to without having to be labelled different or the same. Everyone's different. Wanting to do something other boys don't or not wanting to do something they do isn't a statement of individuality, it's just a personal decision. My son hates football. He likes dancing. That doesn't mean he doesn't want to fit in, it just means he wants to be left in peace about his personal likes and dislikes.

otr12

My brother is 13 & is getting crap from his peers that his arms are 'too small' & that he should work out. Why should he? He's of healthy weight, he eats a good balanced diet, he walks to & from school & walks most places. Why does he need to 'work out?' It scares me, I don't want him to fall to peer pressure. He either wants to be a chef or fire fighter but his so called friends have made fun of him, saying he's not masculine enough. So far, he is keeping above, but school is a dangerous place to plot ideas into people's heads.

So... you want him to he a wuss? Have you considered his opinion?? I doubt it.

Seriously, quit telling him 'your just fine the way you are, keep playing with your barbies if you want to', because that's probably why they're picking on him.

You're the type of person who would pick on him. He doesn't want to play sport because he isn't interested. He has other hobbies such as creating his own films, reading exploring ect.
I tell him he's fine because he IS fine. If he was overweight I'd encourage him to work out more, if he were overweight I'd tell him to try eat more. If he's fit & healthy in his own way, why should I tell him to stop doing what he's already doing?

"...he's fine because he IS fine." So, what you're saying is, everyone else has a problem? I think I see where the boys negative influence is coming from.

"why should I tell him to stop doing what he's already doing?" Is he not allowed to make his own decisions? The more you post, the more clear the root of his troubles become.

Yes, the people who pick on him have a problem. Why does the size of his arms bother them so much?
If I told him to stop doing what he's doing, wouldn't that go against his decisions?
I'd rather him start working out because he's interested & GENUINELY wants to do it than do it because he's been pressured into it.

All of his decisions will generate some sort of response that is beyond his control. It is his choice to deal with the response he gets or make a different decision that prompts a more desirable response. He can complain about the response he gets,.... he can even get his big sister to tell him it's other peoples problem. But that wont change anything. He's old enough to know that it's time to cope with problems and not just complain about them.

fteale

I think gender roles are stupid. My son does ballet, and had a lot of stick from the boys in his year for it, but he is sticking it out for now. I think most boys would do a lot better to try to be more feminine, not more laddish.

Good on him! Do people not know that you have to be very strong & disciplined to do ballet?

I think they might gather it looking at him, he's the only 6 year old I know with a 6 pack.

Wow! My mother pushed me to do ballet when I was 5-6, I was hopeless! Not everyone can do ballet, you must be proud of him

I got kicked out of ballet after 3 lessons, when I was 3. I was a special kind of useless!

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

My brother is 13 & is getting crap from his peers that his arms are 'too small' & that he should work out. Why should he? He's of healthy weight, he eats a good balanced diet, he walks to & from school & walks most places. Why does he need to 'work out?' It scares me, I don't want him to fall to peer pressure. He either wants to be a chef or fire fighter but his so called friends have made fun of him, saying he's not masculine enough. So far, he is keeping above, but school is a dangerous place to plot ideas into people's heads.

So... you want him to he a wuss? Have you considered his opinion?? I doubt it.

Seriously, quit telling him 'your just fine the way you are, keep playing with your barbies if you want to', because that's probably why they're picking on him.

You're the type of person who would pick on him. He doesn't want to play sport because he isn't interested. He has other hobbies such as creating his own films, reading exploring ect.
I tell him he's fine because he IS fine. If he was overweight I'd encourage him to work out more, if he were overweight I'd tell him to try eat more. If he's fit & healthy in his own way, why should I tell him to stop doing what he's already doing?

"...he's fine because he IS fine." So, what you're saying is, everyone else has a problem? I think I see where the boys negative influence is coming from.

"why should I tell him to stop doing what he's already doing?" Is he not allowed to make his own decisions? The more you post, the more clear the root of his troubles become.

Yes, the people who pick on him have a problem. Why does the size of his arms bother them so much?
If I told him to stop doing what he's doing, wouldn't that go against his decisions?
I'd rather him start working out because he's interested & GENUINELY wants to do it than do it because he's been pressured into it.

All of his decisions will generate some sort of response that is beyond his control. It is his choice to deal with the response he gets or make a different decision that prompts a more desirable response. He can complain about the response he gets,.... he can even get his big sister to tell him it's other peoples problem. But that wont change anything. He's old enough to know that it's time to cope with problems and not just complain about them.

He actually hardly complains about it, he knows people don't like people who are different. I'm the one making the fuss because he doesn't deserve this crap.

voluptas63

People pick on what's different. Either be different or the same. But don't get pissy when people don't like you because you're different. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE DIFFERENT. Not everybody wants to be different. Some people just want to blend in. It works for them. If your brother is fine being who is he, he needs to sack up. Plain and simple.

That's rubbish. Why can't people just be left to do what they want to without having to be labelled different or the same. Everyone's different. Wanting to do something other boys don't or not wanting to do something they do isn't a statement of individuality, it's just a personal decision. My son hates football. He likes dancing. That doesn't mean he doesn't want to fit in, it just means he wants to be left in peace about his personal likes and dislikes.

That's how kids are. I've worked with kids for 13 years. People need to face the facts that kids are mean. They pick on different kids. Is it right? Absolutely not. Kids should learn to embrace the differences in everybody. But that's how they are. We learn to embrace difference in college and adulthood. I'm not saying "Kids will be kids" but face the facts. Kids are mean little creatures. They're even mean to adults. At least as an adult, we can inform them, in an intelligent (or semi-intelligent, take your pick) fashion that the way they are speaking is incorrect and they need to speak differently. Kids don't have that process.

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

Have him do MMA. It won't matter how he looks

He used to do Aikido, as I did at a young age. I wasn't good at it but the Sensei's were amazing & helped build up my self esteem. Unfortunately though, the place shut down as the building had become too dangerous as it was in a very old Church >.<

baisleac

http://www.achilleseffect.com/blog/

Gender stereotypes, one of the few areas where trickle down actually works. Parents and society teach these things to children... and they don't need to.

DannyMussels

You guys really bustin out septuple and octuple quotes?

Serious business.

VeganGal84

I just want to say: You're a great sister and he's lucky to have you in his life. :flowerforyou:

adjones5

You guys really bustin out septuple and octuple quotes?

Serious business.

Yes, these people are ****ing around. I'm hoping someone brings up mermaids.

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

http://www.achilleseffect.com/blog/

Gender stereotypes, one of the few areas where trickle down actually works. Parents and society teach these things to children... and they don't need to.

I agree, gender roles need to be scrapped!

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

I just want to say: You're a great sister and he's lucky to have you in his life. :flowerforyou:

Thanks You're a good friend ^^

HOSED49

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my freshman year I was 5'4 105 lbs...he doesnt need to worry, his time will come...proof positive and I'm 38

catshark209

This happens to my son as well, and he's only 10.
He inherited my bony build, poor thing, and happens to be taller than his classmates. I'm trying to incorporate more protein and good fats in his diet but other than that...nothing. He's a tough kid though.

Scott613

I see physical fighting as a weakness, because they know they are wrong, ran out of words & resort to violence.

Not everything can be settled without violence, no matter how much people pretend it can.

With that being said, this does not sound like something that needs violence to settle

"Not everything can be settled without violence." The reason why we have war. Those idiots in his school do need a good beating though!

Maybe your brother should be the one to do it. You know what happens when kids fight back that are being picked on?????? They stop getting picked on because they're not considerd weak anymore!

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

Why not go and take the kid to mamby pamby land and get a pedicure and nails done!!! Then he should get his butt in the kitchen and learn to start makin' sammiches!

ItsCasey

We've become a nation of pansies because no one has to just learn to be tough and deal with their issues. Kids need confrontation. Its how they learn to deal with real life.

hear, hear
no one gets a ribbon just for showing up

This.

Ever notice how, when you get older, the really annoying people are the ones who have no problem-solving skills? All they know how to do is whine and complain about how unfair everything is. Those are typically the kids who got their parents to call the school whenever someone called them fat.

I'm not trying to downplay the seriousness of hardcore bullying. It's one thing to get involved if you have reason to believe your brother's physical well-being is in jeopardy. But if this is just about hurt feelings resulting from standard, pubescent teasing, let it go, and let him grow up.

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

I see physical fighting as a weakness, because they know they are wrong, ran out of words & resort to violence.

Not everything can be settled without violence, no matter how much people pretend it can.

With that being said, this does not sound like something that needs violence to settle

"Not everything can be settled without violence." The reason why we have war. Those idiots in his school do need a good beating though!

Maybe your brother should be the one to do it. You know what happens when kids fight back that are being picked on?????? They stop getting picked on because they're not considerd weak anymore!

I always thought being weak was getting a gang of you to pick on one person. Those kids would never touch or say anything to my brother if they were on their own.
He also gets a lot of cyber bullying, they turn away when they see him in public though. So much for being tough.

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

Adam Carolla is right. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks.

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

Adam Carolla is right. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks.

Not many women like to be called 'chick.'
& so what? What's wrong with women?

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

Adam Carolla is right. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks.

Not many women like to be called 'chick.'
& so what? What's wrong with women?

Nothing, chicks are hot

Scott613

Adam Carolla is right. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks.

Not many women like to be called 'chick.'
& so what? What's wrong with women?

They get too emotional!

fteale

Adam Carolla is right. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks.

Not many women like to be called 'chick.'
& so what? What's wrong with women?

For the record, we don't like "bird" either.