no support at home or work!!!

LaComadreja14

This is kinda long but hear me out, its worth it:
I am short (5ft nothin) with very thin wrists/hands and I work as a phlebotomist (I draw blood among other things) meaning, I wear scrubs at work. Being short and wearing baggy scrubs while having thin wrists/hands makes everyone at work think I am thinner than I am. When I started MHP I was 134 lbs w/ 33% body fat... I also had recently found out that I had high triglycerides, I wanted to get in shape and get healthy.
The girls at work didn't understand and/or thought I was joking the first time I refused a piece of cake. The days went on and for a while no one took me seriously- them or my out of work friends (or basically everyone except my fiancee) Everyone tells me I'm skinny (obv not if I have 33% body fat which is clinically overweight) and no one (except my fiancee) supported me at first, even the people I know who work out laughed when I asked for tips/help and said I didn't need to loose weight.

I have never been one to let other's get me down, I am not about to start now. So, I ignored the disbelievers and the haters and I pushed on. I started reading shape magazine and stealing work out ideas from it, I started looking up fitness stuff on you tube, started belly dancing again, (thinking about getting a zumba dvd too)

Basically, I started to put my shiny new fitness/nutrition mantra into action (stop making excuses, start making changes <-- someone else probably thought of this before but w.e. lol) according to my scale I lost 7lbs. I don't see it and my clothes aren't fitting well but my fiancee see's it and he always tells me how great I'm looking lately.. even the girls at work are coming around. I get complimented for sticking to my guns, they asked to see my progress and we're impressed (again, I see no changes, lol, but its good to hear)

It sucks though when we have RX Representatives come to the office, they bring lunch and sometimes we choose, sometimes we don't. Yesterday, RX reps came- they had said the day before that they were bringing panera so I didn't bring lunch... well, that morning the doctor decided she wanted Moe's instead and everyone else agreed with her. I was bummed but I ate the kids meal (which isn't tooo bad).. I kinda felt like "wtf guys?! All of u say u wanna loose weight but when you have the choice between a healthy lunch or burritos, tortilla chips and cheese dip- you choose the burritos and cheese dip?!" but, there is always a silver lining and I try to keep my eye on it. Silver lining to that situation? At least it wasn't McDonalds, lol.

Basically, my advice to you:

Understand that people don't always have the drive to do things they want to do so when they see others doing things they want to do or succeeding where they failed- lack of support, jokes and all that mess is just a defense mechanism because they didn't have what it takes to get where you are/ where your going. Just see past that and ignore the dumb comments. Just because they're not supporting you, doesn't mean they don't care/don't love you- they are probably just uncomfortable with change, don't know how to react or are wishing they had your drive. This doesn't mean you can't love them, everyone has faults- it doesn't make them bad people. Understand them and ignore negativity, that's it.

Know that, even if it's a lonely road, you are the only person who can change yourself- it is in your hands, it is your decision to let their support (or lack their off) help (or hinder) your progress. Choose not to let their lack of support affect you. In the end, you will be better off and they will see

Shrug 'em off, this is your time to do you. You have made the decision to change yourself for the better- this isn't a team effort and although support is nice to have, it isn't essential to make changes. The only things essential to making changes are your belief in yourself, your motivation, your drive, and your body in action- you just keep on believing in yourself, keep on chuggin chick and you will get there. Let the inspiration come from yourself, you aren't doing this for them- you are doing this for you.

speedyme

Have you tried joining a group? I signed up for bootcamp and the trainers and participates are amazing. We have the same goal of getting healthy, so the support from all is great.

Scorpioangel

Oh yeah I had a lot of "non supporters" and now that I am healthier than ever I have more comments than ever! It's so annoying because I want to tell some of these people that they drink too much alcohol, don't excercise and NEED to and they need to go ON a diet. It ticks me off it really does. It does come down to jealousy I think.. it also reminds others of things that they should be doing but can't or won't (due to excuses). These are the things I have experienced and I bet I am not on the same boat!

1. People bothering me because I don't want to get wasted (don't want the calories sorry!)... Coincidentally people who are so obsessed with getting wasted seem to be broke??! Maybe lay off the alcohol is what I want to say!
2. People saying I am going to turn into a skeleton (um no)
3. People saying I have an eating disorder (I don't, I eat 1,600 a day)
4. People saying I am too skinny (I am not I am a healthy weight)
5. People saying I eat "weird" (no that's called eating clean)
6. People saying I work out too much (and I was thinking they don't work out enough! LOL)
7. People saying men like big women (Ok that is all fine and dandy but I am doing this for my health)
8. People trying to push me to eat more (give it up already ok??? I am an adult!)

Sorry had to vent LOL

Sidesteal

Are the people who are non-supportive, also out of shape themselves?

Something to consider.

ammbbbeeeerrrrr

Im going through the same thing. My boyfriend has been gaining weight recently while I have been trying to lose.
He was very skinny before he began to gain, so he doesnt look bad, or anything but you can tell.

I spend a lot of time with his family, and they know im dieting, but they're not so i really think they could care less. They have junk food everywhere, and always offer it to me and it is very frustrating esp. when everyone wants to have drinks and I just allow myself one.

My friends don't really care. I have one friend who recently lost over 70 pounds, and she understands, but thats about it.
I've been big before, then got skinny and i know what that comes with also. The rumors of how you lost it because it's rare for people to do it "the right way."
You basically never win. Either way. lol

I dont know what advice to give you because people are going to be themselves no matter what! just stay motivated, and i know it is VERY hard to do that when everyone around you eats unhealthy. Good luck!

Scorpioangel

Are the people who are non-supportive, also out of shape themselves?

Something to consider.

Good point and yes they are! Every single one of them now that I think about it! LOL!!!!

Scorpioangel

Im going through the same thing. My boyfriend has been gaining weight recently while I have been trying to lose.
He was very skinny before he began to gain, so he doesnt look bad, or anything but you can tell.

I spend a lot of time with his family, and they know im dieting, but they're not so i really think they could care less. They have junk food everywhere, and always offer it to me and it is very frustrating esp. when everyone wants to have drinks and I just allow myself one.

My friends don't really care. I have one friend who recently lost over 70 pounds, and she understands, but thats about it.
I've been big before, then got skinny and i know what that comes with also. The rumors of how you lost it because it's rare for people to do it "the right way."
You basically never win. Either way. lol

I dont know what advice to give you because people are going to be themselves no matter what! just stay motivated, and i know it is VERY hard to do that when everyone around you eats unhealthy. Good luck!

It is extremely hard!!!! At least some people know not to bother me about junk anymore (I only had to say no thanks like 10909808 times LOL but it finally sunk in haha).

Elizabeth_C34

so crazy, you would think that the ones who love you would want you to be healthier, and help you on that journey. but, noooooooooooo, not me and my friends, family and co-workers. it is driving me crazy! anybody else have this same problem? how do you cope with your lonely weight loss journey?

I am very sorry you have to deal with this. Unfortunately, it's common in families where obesity is a common problem. Seems to me that this is jealousy more than anything else. Just stick to your guns and try to surround yourself with new friends who are more health conscious. Congratulations on your monumental loss!

juleseybaby

Definitely do the list for yourself - post it at home and at work.

I have found that even those who think they are being supportive still are NOT. My family is SO happy that I am working to get healthy... however - they still want only bad food (mainly my hubby and my son). I admit - I still have some yuck food in my diary. I am not attempting to eat clean at this point. But those meals are once a day, if that. The guys would eat fast food for every meal if they could. :grumble:

Also - I have quit smoking multiple times. I found that I craved support for that more than anything. I wanted that high-five from family and friends. I got it for a while... but then they forgot. Then it stopped altogether. I found myself getting angry with them for NOT realizing what an effort I was making and for forgetting to encourage me. Then, I finally decided that I had to do it FOR ME. Not for them. Not for that quick 'good job' that didn't mean CRAP when I really wanted a cigarette after a bad day. And I just stopped. I haven't had a smoke since August 28th. I have passed a MAJOR test by going out with friends to do karaoke and still did not smoke. Oh, I wanted one. But I didn't do it.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

denisegolden

OMGOODNESS, everyone has been great...thanks, i needed that boost! things are still bad here, but i know i do have support at mfp...even from people who knew nothing about me...that pretty much rocks!!!:glasses:

vivie72

Sadly people don't often support you doing something good for yourself because you're in a sense leaving them behind, and doing something that they can't do for themselves. Forget them! No one will do this for you except you, and I think that's part of what is great about this website, the reason people here are so supportive is b/c we're all doing the same thing. Good luck!

Keep plugging along...I promise you will meet new people on your journey to give you support when your family and friends can't.

Gdzgal771

i know how you feel...circumstances in my life keep me pretty isolated/alienated from others so i come HERE. i also PRAY. i didnt get this way other than own choices. why not go to my MAKER to help myself? id do that if my car needed help!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Gdzgal771

im with you!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

ive done for others for sooo long, ive forgotten how to do for myself!! :grumble: :grumble:

as loving as family can be, at times they basically just think of themselves..:sad:

but its ALL GOOD!! cant let it get to us-cause its about us, our health and well-being!! right??

WE CAN DO THIS!!!!! :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

withchaco

You are NOT alone!

Read this -- it's truly an inspiration. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/367040-my-lifelong-inspiration

sassyntat2ed

I totally understand where you are coming from!! My b/f was the 1 to really give me the push I needed to change my ways and now he never says anything about how I am looking or that I get up at 6 every day to go to the gym 7 days a week!! UGH it's so frustrating!!

Jessy0383

I definately understand what you mean. I've been through the same. I have coworkers that got mad because they order junk food I don't eat that food.They even make jokes about it, which I really don't appreciate. Even my mom gets offended sometimes when I don't eat her food. But as I was telling them is my health and my kids health so I really rather loose friends and continue my journey with my real family and friend which is here MFP... Here I have found the support that I need....

audrine

I deal with the same thing at home. Everyone keeps telling me they love me the way I am. They tease me about the changes I'm trying to make. "You seem to be at the gym a lot lately. Are you now living there or what?". They keep buying junk food for me. "I bought buffalo chicken wings and Peanuts M&M's, honey! Your favorites!". :noway:

I don't know if it's their way of telling me it's okay if I fail and stay overweight. Not to put too much pressure on myself.

Maybe they try to be supportive by telling me they love me as I am. Or maybe as other people are saying it's the fear of change and what it could mean that bothers them.

You can never really KNOW why people act the way they do. You can only KNOW what YOU want to do. I want to be healthy. In the end, that's the only opinion I care about. :bigsmile: