Want to hear your opinion on this

sae1316

Your post really hit home with me. My 2/12 year old grand daughter has several food allergies. Her mother is very careful to prepare foods for her to take as snacks and keeps cupcakes in the frezzer for those days when parents bring cake in for birthdays. It is definitely her responsiblilty to see that her child is safe. That being said, it is also important that the other parents and teachers be made aware of a young child's food allergies in a classroom because accidents do happen. While it may take a little more thought, bringing in a snack that everyone can share is a thoughtful gesture . I think it is a great opportunity to teach our children compassion, kindness and to think about other people.

Goal_Seeker_1988

I agree with both... you have a great point I am sure that if I were a parent I would want the safest for my child. I prolly wouldn't want to take a chance that someone make a mistake and bring in the wrong snack.

however, I agree with your wife as well... With it only being a small group of children the parents should be aware that certain children are allergic to certain types of foods.

Kalrez

Sure, you're not obligated to look after someone else's kid. Sure, you shouldn't have to grab the snack that is 6" to the left on the store shelf.

But you should do it anyway.

Why?

Because that makes you a good *kitten* human being, that's why. If someone's kid was about to run into the street, would you just say "meh, not my kid, not my problem" - I highly doubt it. I'm not being hyperbolic. Allergies can kill. Why endanger the life of someone?

It's not the end of the damned world. Who the hell buys macadamia nut cookies for kids anyway? Seriously, just get the chocolate chip and move on.

Wife wins.

ETA:

At my wedding reception, we were able to accommodate food allergies. We were able to manage various food allergies for a 200 person reception that had been catered out of a massive kitchen. If that's possible, then it's MORE THAN POSSIBLE for 15 parents to work around a single allergy.

Don't be a **** and screw with someone's health/life just to prove a point. Grow up and skip the snacks with nuts.

jedi9393

At my office we have people with allergies and they ask whats in a dish and dont eat if it has something in it that they are sensative too. I dont think many jobs go out of their way to accomadate those with allergies.

Schools are different. They dont want to be sued so i understand them making rules or become nut free. Same for daycares. I dont have a problem with them or teachers inforcing those rules.

I just find it kinda odd that when i was in school, and I'm 35, we didnt have nut free cafeterias and classrooms. I dont remember going on playdates or joining clubs where we were reminded to not bring certain foods. People kinda handled that themselves. I just dont know if child allergies have increased or people have come to depend on schools waaay to much.

LorinaLynn

I agree with BOTH of you. I think it's great that the mom let the issue be known, and if someone had a request like that, I'd comply. But if I were the mom, I'd be extra paranoid and make sure my kid had something definitely safe to eat.

If I were a mom, I'd end up with a Bubble Boy. I'd be the most over-protective mom since... since MY mom! :laugh:

tiggerbounce411

Well, I agree with you both and here is why. Yes, if your child has allergies to certain things and there is something like that, where others take turns providing snacks, by all means let them know. JUST IN CASE, however, I would send a non-allergic snack with my child on the other days I am not in charge, letting my child know if the snack brought is ok, then eat what is brought. But I would play it safe and include something my child COULD consume, while allowing them to participate with the others and not feel as though they might be "different". It was considerate of that parent to let the others know however...that's just me.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

We signed my daughter up for an extra curricular class once a week. There's about 15 students in the class and all parents are required to provide snacks on a designated week. So when the instructor mailed out the schedule for the parents, one parent responded by letting everyone know that her child is allergic to Macadamia nuts and some other foods with nuts in them.
So my wife and I discussed it and are in disagreement about what should be done. IMO, if a child could have an issue with food allergies, the parent of that child should make the snack for that child and not rely on whether or not other parents in the class go out and buy the right snack that won't affect her child. If it were my child with the issue, I wouldn't take the chance.
My wife disagree and says that she did the right thing by letting us know and that we should comply to keep the child safe. There are many options that can be got for snacks and shouldn't be a big deal to shop for them.

So what do you think? Oh and I'm not gonna "rub it in" if more people agree with me. I'm just curious to see if I'm off base.

As a parent of a child with wheat allergies this hits very close to home (which would have been considered an odd allergy 5 years ago, and while it is more main stream now is still not considered by most a "real" allergy) I have the school notify us of what the other children are having and when and then I provide a version of it for him. The school doesn't always contact us when a parent brings in a special treat and last time this happened I read them the riot act because I've told them time and time again that I keep special treats in our freezer just in case . . . how would you like to be the 2 year old that has to watch everyone else eat cookies and cupcakes while you're presented with cottage cheese and apple sauce?
However, most schools and programs that have food provided either by themselves or another source are big on all kinds of nuts. My daycare has a no nut of any kind policy and my nephews school has nut free tables because nut allergies are not just serious, but deadly (some people can go into shock from inhaling the dust). The general rule of thumb that I've picked up along the way is that you can't cater to all children, but berries and nuts are a general no-no when providing snacks to a group. The person who is organizing the activity should have contacted all parents in advance asking questions about allergies and then setting perameters around acceptable snacks.

ItsCasey

It's probably because I'm not a parent yet, but I really roll my eyes at all the "everyone else must accommodate this one special child" nonsense I hear so often these days. I remember reading an article a while back about some school where the kids in one student's class were not allowed to bring certain foods in their OWN lunches because of the risk it posed to this one kid. I'm sorry, but that's BS. If it's that serious, make other arrangements for THAT kid. Sure, it sucks to be singled out, but your kid is not more important than all the other kids in the class.

I don't think this particular situation is on that level. Yes, the parent in question would be wise to just handle her kid's snacks, regardless of what other parents are doing, but if nuts are the only issue, it's not a difficult request to comply with. Just in general, it bothers me that because one kid is allergic to something, everyone else has to bend over backwards.

jedi9393

It's probably because I'm not a parent yet, but I really roll my eyes at all the "everyone else must accommodate this one special child" nonsense I hear so often these days. I remember reading an article a while back about some school where the kids in one student's class were not allowed to bring certain foods in their OWN lunches because of the risk it posed to this one kid. I'm sorry, but that's BS. If it's that serious, make other arrangements for THAT kid. Sure, it sucks to be singled out, but your kid is not more important than all the other kids in the class.

I don't think this particular situation is on that level. Yes, the parent in question would be wise to just handle her kid's snacks, regardless of what other parents are doing, but if nuts are the only issue, it's not a difficult request to comply with. Just in general, it bothers me that because one kid is allergic to something, everyone else has to bend over backwards.

Amen sistah AMEN!! this is what I mean and I am a parent with allergies! it doesnt make you a better human being, IMO just a practical and self responsible one. So 30-40 years ago no one had nut allergies??? Did kids drop dead left and right cause they were exposed to nuts in someone elses sandwhich? Come on... Something is weird here.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

At my office we have people with allergies and they ask whats in a dish and dont eat if it has something in it that they are sensative too. I dont think many jobs go out of their way to accomadate those with allergies.

Schools are different. They dont want to be sued so i understand them making rules or become nut free. Same for daycares. I dont have a problem with them or teachers inforcing those rules.

I just find it kinda odd that when i was in school, and I'm 35, we didnt have nut free cafeterias and classrooms. I dont remember going on playdates or joining clubs where we were reminded to not bring certain foods. People kinda handled that themselves. I just dont know if child allergies have increased or people have come to depend on schools waaay to much.

Interesting, when I was in school (and I'm 34) they started requiring all items come in packaging so that they knew what was on the labels because of nut allergies. I can remember the year it happened too, because that's when we stopped having birthday parties in the classrooms.

jedi9393

Omg not me. I grew up in Michigan and we would have birthday parties and everything. I didnt even know what nut free was until my kid started to go to daycare. In texas, depending on what school district your kid goes to the rules are different. Some school districts are really strict. My husband is 25 and when he was a kid the school he went to as a elementary student didnt really have that many food rules either. However, both he and I grew up in the hood. I guess no one has allergies there....

We live in a suburbs and boy let me tell you. You cant even bring snacks that are not approved by the school district! goldfish are even banned, for instance. There are allergy guidelines and nutritional guidlines for what your kid can bring.

HeidiMightyRawr

I'm with your wife. There are tons of different food items out there without nuts and I don't think that their child should feel left out of sharing the snacks just because of that. If your child, or someone elses, particularly wants something involving nuts for a change surely you could arrange to sort them out something just for them that day along with the usual you would bring

This is assuming the allergy isn't so bad that just being around nuts gives a reaction (a kid in one of my friends schools once had one so bad that there was a strict rule that nobody could bring nuts to school as he couldn't be near nuts at all)

ninerbuff

you both have good points but i can say that as a mother, if my child had a nut allergy (which are usually pretty severe) i would never just trust that because i sent out a message, that everyone would pay attention to it. i would always provide my own snacks..i wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone but more importantly, i would want to keep my child safe!

That's what I lead to also. Inconveniencing others because of one child is one of the other issues.

pain_is_weakness

If the class said parents do not need to bring kids personal snacks and you guys do a "snack poolinbg" type thing, then i tihnk she did the right thing. Immagine how that kid feels not gettign to eat the same snack as the other kids because of her allergie, it would be different if everyone brought their own snack but when she is the only one, that might be hard and make her feel left out.

ninerbuff

How hard is it, really, to accommodate that request? Seriously, bring fresh fruit and cheese on your appointed week. Healthy. No allergens. Easy. It sounds like you don't want to do it just because you were asked. Why?

It's not for me. I'm thinking other parents may not comply to what was sent. Let's face it you send out a letter and maybe 50% will really read it.

jedi9393

How hard is it, really, to accommodate that request? Seriously, bring fresh fruit and cheese on your appointed week. Healthy. No allergens. Easy. It sounds like you don't want to do it just because you were asked. Why?

It's not for me. I'm thinking other parents may not comply to what was sent. Let's face it you send out a letter and maybe 50% will really read it.

Exactly! I would be the one parent to not pay attention or totally forget. Sorry I'm human. Its up to the parents and the school/organization., but mostly the parent.

Sorrry to break it to people too, but most parents are too busy wrapped up in their own lives to care too much about other peoples children but they are afraid to admit it. Oh this isnt aimed at the OP! I'm with you.

maab_connor

i helped to make a school treat one time for the family narls, and i went out and got wheat-free, nut-free, sugar-free, gluten-free cookies. i had three moms thank me. it's worth a trip to the whole foods store to make sure that kids are safe.

i think that the mom did the right thing, and i think that other parents should get stuff that's safe for all kids to eat. we have a lot of allergies in our family, and it's always nicer for the kids when they can just grab what everyone else has.

godblessourhome

my friend has a daughter with this issue and this is what she does about snacks. she sends out a letter to all the parents because just *touching* allergen will send her daughter into anaphylactic shock. she also always sends a 'back-up' snack with her daughter in case one of the parents didn't pay attention to the letter.

Rackminac

It's a food allergy... The kid isn't gonna feel singled out bc it can't have the same snack. Their parent should pack them something they can have... that's an adult unsecurity not a child's. Kids are way less sensitive than crazy parents. My niece has major allergies to lots of things, and she's totally okay with letting people know she can't have things, even other kids... No shame in that.

Hellbent_Heidi

How hard is it, really, to accommodate that request? Seriously, bring fresh fruit and cheese on your appointed week. Healthy. No allergens. Easy. It sounds like you don't want to do it just because you were asked. Why?

It's not for me. I'm thinking other parents may not comply to what was sent. Let's face it you send out a letter and maybe 50% will really read it.

Exactly! I would be the one parent to not pay attention or totally forget. Sorry I'm human. Its up to the parents and the school/organization., but mostly the parent.

Not to mention, a lot of people just pick something up and could easily miss the 'peanut products' in the ingredients if its something that isn't obvious.

As far as the kid "feeling singled out", I think people are over-sensitive about that topic. The child isn't being bullied or teased because of anything personal and aren't they better off learning now that they are different than the other kids when it comes to what they can eat? My mom taught pre-school for years and the last 20 years or so, she always had one or two kids with (sometimes severe) food allergies, and the parents were expected to bring their own child's 'safe foods" for snacks, just to cover the school for liability!