Hubby vent

Rowann

i read so many posts like this one, and every single husband rant/vent makes me feel even more lucky to be with the man im marrying. I told greg last week that we needed groceries and i need heavier plates for the barbell. He spent over $100 on MY groceries that he doesnt like, and said id have to wait a week for the plates. I consider myself unbelievably fortunate that my hubby, 6 years into our relationship, still thinks im sexy, opens doors and carries "heavy"things (i deadlift 135 but he thinks a gallon of milk is too much for me), still says thank you when i bring him dinner or do his laundry, and would likely bring me the moon if i asked him. Im sorry to those of you whose husbands arent the prince charming daily which we women deserve, and i hope they find their shining armor for you gals soon!

He sounds like my husband... and yes, I'd consider us both to be very lucky...

Mine just bought me a treadmill so I can get some exercise in without having to worry about our five year old keeping up. I think we're going to be on beans on toast for a couple of months, but he seems to think it's worth it...

Grokette

Trust me, the majority of men have no idea what the finances are. They hand their check to their wife and wait for an allowance.
Go shopping, but let him know that's what you're going to do. Most men would say "Uh, Okay."

My husband and I have individual accounts and a household account. We have direct deposit of funds into the household account to cover monthly bills and a little extra to cover any other incidentals and such.

The remainder of each of our checks is deposited into our own account so I don't complain when he makes purchases and vice versa.

Guess marriage is different to others...

Why have individual accounts? I'd like to know where OUR money goes because we are MARRIED. Not sure where people think its an individual thing when two become one.

We have joint accounts for household, savings and IRA for retirement. After those things are taken care of. I want MY money that I worked for and the same goes for my husband.

We did at one time have joint account and I became UNGLUED because he had taken $500.00 out of our savings and didn't say anything...........

Well he purchased me a gift and he gave me the gift after I cursed his *kitten* out up one side and down the other. I saw then that I was being controlling and he was just trying to do something nice for me.

At that point, I suggested that we have separate accounts for our own money and joint accounts for the household, savings and investments.

I don't want to have to ask to spend MY money. And I highly doubt if my husband wants to ask me to spend his either.

Grokette

Guess marriage is different to others...

Why have individual accounts? I'd like to know where OUR money goes because we are MARRIED. Not sure where people think its an individual thing when two become one.

If you see 'everything', there is zero element of surprise. What if he pre-ordered flowers for you? What if you bought him a new <insert item here he is interested in>? Birthdays? Anniversarys? Weekend Unplanned Getaways?

If an equal amount (based on how much someone is paid) is contributed to the household fund, why should it matter that someone wants to spend all of their portion going out to eat and the other wants to buy sports equipment?

ha ha, exactly. I had this very thing happen and I looked like a controlling, domineering fool.

Grokette

Guess marriage is different to others...

Why have individual accounts? I'd like to know where OUR money goes because we are MARRIED. Not sure where people think its an individual thing when two become one.

If you see 'everything', there is zero element of surprise. What if he pre-ordered flowers for you? What if you bought him a new <insert item here he is interested in>? Birthdays? Anniversarys? Weekend Unplanned Getaways?

If an equal amount (based on how much someone is paid) is contributed to the household fund, why should it matter that someone wants to spend all of their portion going out to eat and the other wants to buy sports equipment?

It's called cash...it doesn't always have to be credit cards, debit cards, etc.

My personal opinion is this. Just because 2 become 1 doesn't mean that we lose our individuality and have to always know everything about the other one.

That is controlling behavior that I have come a long way to overcome. We are grown adults and I shouldn't have to ask or consult with my husband to spend my own money and neither should he.

A lot of y'all women would come unglued if you were married to my husband. He just spent about $800 on accessories for his truck............

SarahofTwins

Guess marriage is different to others...

Why have individual accounts? I'd like to know where OUR money goes because we are MARRIED. Not sure where people think its an individual thing when two become one.

If you see 'everything', there is zero element of surprise. What if he pre-ordered flowers for you? What if you bought him a new <insert item here he is interested in>? Birthdays? Anniversarys? Weekend Unplanned Getaways?

If an equal amount (based on how much someone is paid) is contributed to the household fund, why should it matter that someone wants to spend all of their portion going out to eat and the other wants to buy sports equipment?

It's called cash...it doesn't always have to be credit cards, debit cards, etc.

My personal opinion is this. Just because 2 become 1 doesn't mean that we lose our individuality and have to always know everything about the other one.

That is controlling behavior that I have come a long way to overcome. We are grown adults and I shouldn't have to ask or consult with my husband to spend my own money and neither should he.

A lot of y'all women would come unglued if you were married to my husband. He just spent about $800 on accessories for his truck............

To each their own...our ways are different and if it works for you guys then lovely. That is why some people are meant for one another and should feel comfortable with what works...esp with my parents being together 30+ years, grandparents, great parents, and so on. Communication is key no matter how you spend your money. It becomes OUR money in the end.

Scorpioangel

Go shopping girl you deserve it!!!!

bllowry

Wow, and I thought I was frugal by going to the charity shops after I couldn't take in my stuff any more. Mind, I dislike shopping; I find it tedious. My husband does the accounts as I did accounting for doctors for 26 years and didn't want to fuss with the household accounts; he is very careful with our money and I don't think he'd buy anything that expensive without discussing it with me and then if it was something he truly wanted then we'd sort a timeline to save enough money for the purchase. I would go and get what you need to tide you over to look smart whilst still losing.

d_llopez

I don't believe you lose your individuality because you become one. We have one account and we don't tell each other everything we spend unless it's big purchases but we have an understanding. That's the difference. You respect the other person and say "hey here is our budget, spend as you wish but at least know that we can go over such and such amount." If you do then discuss why you want to purchase something worth 300, 500, 800 etc. I think it all boils down to communication. I love that i share my bank account with my husband. We get each other surprises, i buy what i need, and he does his. Whatever works for you. This just happens to work for me. YES i do believe that you should go out and spend big on clothes you deserve it after all that hard work.

DannyMussels

That's nothing.

A girl i work with has lived with a guy for 4 or 5 years, and hvae been paying off whatever debt they had. they FINALLY paid it off this summer, and he somehow spent $10,000+ on a 4-wheeler and boat...so now they're back to bein in debt. Without telling her, mind you.

For the most part, I'd say major purchases require consent of the other, but things under $1,000...not so much.

Either way, go buy whatever you want.

I suggest a BIGGER helicopter. You know, ruffle some feathers..

netty129

If he can go and spend money on that, then you can definitely go buy new clothes. You worked very hard and deserve to splurge!!

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

I really think you're being selfish here. He really wanted his helicopter toy to play with. You should be a good wife and wait until he's done buying his accessories before you go out and buy your clothes.

To really show your love, please only choose clothes that are on the clearence racks.

Contrarian

He bought a third toy helicopter?

Is your husband 12?

jemachharo

Reminds me of my husband after I was on bedrest for 3.5 months while pregnant with our now 10 year old son. My mom came every day to help, but somehow it was so tramatic for him that he had to go out and buy a $1500 guitar to make himself feel better! I'm the one who had my mom sitting in a chair next to my bed staring at me all day and talking to me like a baby for 3.5 months. At least I got a precious HEALTHY little boy out of it. I'll take that over a $1500 anything any day.

Go shopping!

koosdel

You should defnatly throw his **** in the yard, then have a one nighter with a transient.

liftingbro

You should defnatly throw his **** in the yard, then have a one nighter with a transient.

This sounds like a self promoting statement. :laugh:

Qarol

I had to read this three times before I understood what you were complaining about...

TourThePast

I've always worked, earned more than most of my partners, and it's never occured to me to ask "permission" to spend my own money.

*shrug*

Get yourself a job, earn your own money, and spend it on whatever you want. That's what he does, so it must be okay, right?

Or, you could have a serious talk with him about your joint finances.