Littlte bit of advice

TheRoadDog

Race stops being an issue, when we stop talking about race.

Smartest thing I read today.

I'm a huge fan of TheRoadDog and his sage advice, but this is one that I partially of disagree with. The point is not to be "color-blind." You should experience and appreciate everyone's race, culture, ethnicity, religion, etc., equally. You don't have to necessarily like someone's practices, but respect the right to be different.

And, sparing detail, yes I have and do date outside of my cultural boundaries.
-wtk

I agree with you 100%, Ket. I am just tired of qualifying statements. "for a woman/black/fat guy/democrat/Muslim" Whatever.

We are all in this together and until we realize that we just keep alienating ourselves. I never met a man or a woman that I couldn't hold a meaningful conversation with. It's when you start grouping people together and putting the group ahead of the individual that I take exception to.

Just becomes another gang looking out for the gang.

Andythefitfamilyman

i grew up in a all white lifestyle and went to my trade school and never talked to black people in real life. now i have been working on my multicultrueal awareness here and i am bridgeing hte gap that i had with black poeple.

dont worry just because a woman have a different color skin doesnt mean they are going to sprout talons, wings, and a tail

No, we woman just do that for fun. :devil:

^^god dont i know that lol, anyway the others are right, just ask her out and have some fun

TheRoadDog

Race stops being an issue, when we stop talking about race.

which will never happen.

Sad but true.

Unknown

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_Timmeh_

At first I thought WTF, then you explained about where you grew up.
No different than any other girl, but be prepared for small minded thinking or comments from people who don't agree with it.

mandapanda5111

why not just talk to her like you would talk to any other girl and then see if there are cultural issues? for all you know she grew up like you and has more in common with you than with people of her own race and this is why she is attracted to you in the first place! just get to know her and don't make any assumptions about her based on her race and most of all be yourself. don't speak in ebonics if you usually don't and don't pretend to like things that you think she will like just because she's black.

LeeKetty1176

Dude.........

Just go for it ! and what they hell what back ground anyone is........... you should be more worried about if she has some mad ex boy friend rather than her skin !

GO. RELAX. ENJOY............................ see what happens !

VeganInTraining

My husband is puerto rican, my boyfriend before that was black (which seriously didn't process in my head until he asked if I had dated a black guy before), one before that Egyptian, my brother in law in Arab....should I go on?

. I am also living in my 3rd country right now...

I see in color, but not because I am racist. I have never gone out with a guy and NOT noticed his race/ethnicity~actually, the different appearance/culture is what I find most attractive ^^

So...as for the OP...just because he sees her as a "black girl" doesn't mean he is racist either (Just because he doens't have the past intercultural dating experience like some of us shouldn't matter).

Extremely jealous that you have lived in 3 different countries! And I agree that generally it is the difference that is appealing, it just so happened that with the last guy I dated that I didn't really notice his race.

I also agree that just because he sees her as a "black girl" does not mean he is racist, and I'm not even insinuating that he is racist. HOWEVER the fact that he sees the fact that she's black as something that requires direction/advice is an issue to me. Having been treated differently because I am a woman in a predominantly male field really ticks me off and when someone feels the need to treat another person differently based souly on outward appearance I feel that it is something to be addressed and dealt with.

Someone else said something about not being "blessed" to have an intercoulteral background and that caught my attention. I am blessed to have the background I have, and it is always shocking to me when I am around people who were not raised in the same melting pot as I was raised in. So perhaps I do need to be a little easier on the guy, perhaps being in a melting pot is as much of a shock for him as being part of white suberbia is a shock to me. Either way, I saw so LeeKetty has great advice!

ninerbuff

never dated a black girl.

Why does it have to be black girl? While there may be some cultural differences in ethnics, people are just people.

Chaosdrone

i started talking to her a bit today shes really smart

myofibril

i started talking to her a bit today shes really smart

You're doomed.

Chaosdrone

i make her laugh and smile and she thinks im sexy and a badass

twinsanity

i make her laugh and smile and she thinks im sexy and a badass

This is all you need to know! Just keep talking to her and getting to know her - and keep her laughing and smiling.

Shanna_Inc86

AGREED.

Ok, so the poor guy was never exposed to other cultures. Give him a break, he's trying! He likes her, he's obviously not racist. Everyone needs to stop pretending they are color blind. How many of you who responded has actually ever dated someone of a different race??

My husband is puerto rican, my boyfriend before that was black (which seriously didn't process in my head until he asked if I had dated a black guy before), one before that Egyptian, my brother in law in Arab....should I go on?

Okay, so you had the benefit of being exposed to people of other races, cultures, and ethnic backgrounds, congradulations. Not everyone comes from an area that is diverse and this can lead to insecurities. While I too have dated people with various ethnic and religious background that does not make me suprerior, just more fortunate (imho).

Dear, just talk to her. She's a woman with all the same working parts as any other woman you've met and all the same individualities.

I grew up in a small town and graduated in a class of only 98 students. Of those 98, 1 girl was Indian and 1 guy was black and actually he was bi-racial. In the entire highschool my senior year there was roughly 400 students. 1 Indian, 1 black, 5 Asian, no hispanic ....There are small towns like these EVERYWHERE! I've never dated outside my race because honestly there's really never been the opportunity? I guess.

Honey, women are women. Keep talking to her and best of luck.

Scott613

lol I like this girl in my trade school and i never dated a girl before.

I fixed that for you. Gotta go with wickedcricket's advice. If you treat her differently than you would another race or ethnicity or religion, etc., you're off to a bad start.

Since it sounds like you've never dated before, I would remind you that the average woman costs $12,500/year to date. In comparison, the average dog costs just over $10,000 over its lifetime and porn is free on the internet.

Good luck.
-wtk

Hmmm I've had dogs before but never a black one. Maybe I'll get a black lab, seems to be cheaper than a gf. 12,500 a year vs 10,000 over a lifetime is a no brainer. Plus if the dog pees inside and leaves the toilet seat up I can make her sleep outside.