Dating someone that is not into fitness

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  • voluptuous_veggie
    voluptuous_veggie Posts: 476 Member
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    Depends on if they are going to be a turdmonkey about it and try to sabotage you or not.

    "Turdmonkey" is now officially my favorite word.

    It's not a total dealbreaker for me. My boyfriend is extremely physically fit...he's in the gym 2-3 hours a day, runs a couple miles each morning, etc. However, his eating habits are horrendous, which he can get away with, being as physically active as he is. Luckily, it doesn't tempt me, because the junk food that he eats is stuff I don't eat anyway, as a vegan. But when he's around me, he eats what I'm eating and such. So just because he eats junk, doesn't mean I'm going to completely write him off.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    By choosing to stay in an unhealthy environment, you will succumb to it.
  • Namaste1983
    Namaste1983 Posts: 603 Member
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    TOTAL DEALBREAKER
    IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOURSELF WHY SHOULD I INVEST MY ENERGY AND EFFORTS TO TRY AND CONVINCE YOU THE BENEFITS?
    I PLAN ON HAVING CHILDREN AND WANT TO HAVE A HUSBAND BY ME TO RAISE THEM WITH ME. I GO ON DATES NOW AND USUALLY THE FIRST DATE IS A HIKE. IF YOU CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ME ON A MOUNTAIN THEN I DOUBT YOU CAN HANDLE ME ON THE BEDROOM. IT'S ALL ABOUT LIFESTYLE AND I'M NOT A GIRL WHO WATCHES HOURS OF TV OR EATS FAST FOOD. SO WHY WOULD I CHOOSE A PARTNER WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME INTERESTS AS ME. THE GOAL IS TO SHARE A LIFE WITH SOMEONE. I WANT A HEALTHY, ACTIVE LIFE WHERE WE IMPROVE OURSELVE AS WE AGE. I DON'T WANT TO GET A BOYFRIEND AND LET MYSELF GO AND I EXPECT HIM TO WORK JUST AS HARD AS I DO. I DON'T ASK ANYTHING I'M NOT WILLING TO DO MYSELF :)
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
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    :huh: turn this around for a second....would you want someone not to date you just because you were overweight and not into fitness/health?? I wouldn't be married if this were the case. Kind of harsh in my opinion.
  • Vipecap
    Vipecap Posts: 166 Member
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    I don't think someone has to be into health and fitness, even if you are to date them successfully. Now if they are into completely unhealthy eating that would be a different issue but that could be the same for smoking or even drinking. Personally, I prefer for someone to be into it or at least appreciate I am into it.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    By choosing to stay in an unhealthy environment, you will succumb to it.

    This is the big issue for me. Even if you have enough will power not to start taking up the other person's habits, his/her choices will hurt you at some point. Maybe it's the passing on of poor lifestyle choices to your kids or having major health problems caused by being overweight. Whatever the case, you are not going to be immune to it forever.

    I think it's particularly a problem for young people. When you're young and you meet someone you like who happens to be overweight, has poor eating habits, and never works out, you don't think "In 20 years this person is going to weigh 300 lbs and be on 10 different kinds of medication to prevent his heart from exploding in his chest."

    For me, it's not about sharing the same hobbies or passions. It's about self-respect and what kind of future I'm likely to have with the person.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
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    TOTAL DEALBREAKER
    IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOURSELF WHY SHOULD I INVEST MY ENERGY AND EFFORTS TO TRY AND CONVINCE YOU THE BENEFITS?
    I PLAN ON HAVING CHILDREN AND WANT TO HAVE A HUSBAND BY ME TO RAISE THEM WITH ME. I GO ON DATES NOW AND USUALLY THE FIRST DATE IS A HIKE. IF YOU CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ME ON A MOUNTAIN THEN I DOUBT YOU CAN HANDLE ME ON THE BEDROOM. IT'S ALL ABOUT LIFESTYLE AND I'M NOT A GIRL WHO WATCHES HOURS OF TV OR EATS FAST FOOD. SO WHY WOULD I CHOOSE A PARTNER WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME INTERESTS AS ME. THE GOAL IS TO SHARE A LIFE WITH SOMEONE. I WANT A HEALTHY, ACTIVE LIFE WHERE WE IMPROVE OURSELVE AS WE AGE. I DON'T WANT TO GET A BOYFRIEND AND LET MYSELF GO AND I EXPECT HIM TO WORK JUST AS HARD AS I DO. I DON'T ASK ANYTHING I'M NOT WILLING TO DO MYSELF :)

    Good lord, if you KNOW its a "visual assault" like your signature states... why don't you stop it? So annoying and inconsiderate.

    But otherwise, I agree with what you said.
  • risefromruin
    risefromruin Posts: 483 Member
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    Dating a big dude is part of what added to my problem in the first place. I became fat and happy eating the same portions as him. Of course, there were a million other things that contributed to my weight gain as well. These days, I think I'm looking for someone who takes an interest in fitness and nutrition. If they aren't as in to it as me, it's okay...I just want them to at least care about their body and make an effort. I need someone to understand what I have been through and what it takes to maintain what I've lost. I wouldn't look down on someone for being bigger, but they need to take an interest in the positive change. I'm actually attracted to bigger guys because I like feeling small...trying to change that attraction to bigger guys with muscles, not fat :P
  • afwg1979
    afwg1979 Posts: 170 Member
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    I tried it and it didn't work: I married my ex-husband when we were both in the Air Force. The first year he was great about running with me. One day I asked him if he was going to join me and he said, "No, I'm just not into it anymore; I don't need it, you do." He stopped working out altogether. He had an extremely high metabolism and was naturally thin. I always had to work at staying in shape. Eventually we went our separate ways. After our divorce, I realized that I was the one who had made the sacrifices -- his needs were always put before mine.

    I believe that couples who commit themselves to healthy lifestyles (mentally and physically) and share common interests with their mates have higher success rates than couples who pursue different interests.

    Avoid trying to "change" someone. Accept people as they are or move on.

    The couple that plays together, stays together.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    I would totally pass this up! You will find somebody else with all the great personality traits and your interests. :)
  • hazelmae123
    hazelmae123 Posts: 109 Member
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    :huh: turn this around for a second....would you want someone not to date you just because you were overweight and not into fitness/health?? I wouldn't be married if this were the case. Kind of harsh in my opinion.

    This is the perspective people forget...especially women. They think of I want a hot guy, but are they offering the same? I think personality and compatability are what works long term, but if you want to attract a certain type of person, then often you have to be offer the same because they are likely looking for that too.
  • Determined1980
    Determined1980 Posts: 143
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    Depends on if f he was supportive of me, and came to my events when I run etc. But, if he were the type that talked negative about my lifestyle and tried to push his unhealthy lifestyle on me then I would give him the boot ASAP!
  • sweetpunani
    sweetpunani Posts: 86
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    yes it would be a deal breaker for me ... today.
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
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    TOTAL DEALBREAKER
    IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOURSELF WHY SHOULD I INVEST MY ENERGY AND EFFORTS TO TRY AND CONVINCE YOU THE BENEFITS?
    I PLAN ON HAVING CHILDREN AND WANT TO HAVE A HUSBAND BY ME TO RAISE THEM WITH ME. I GO ON DATES NOW AND USUALLY THE FIRST DATE IS A HIKE. IF YOU CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ME ON A MOUNTAIN THEN I DOUBT YOU CAN HANDLE ME ON THE BEDROOM. IT'S ALL ABOUT LIFESTYLE AND I'M NOT A GIRL WHO WATCHES HOURS OF TV OR EATS FAST FOOD. SO WHY WOULD I CHOOSE A PARTNER WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME INTERESTS AS ME. THE GOAL IS TO SHARE A LIFE WITH SOMEONE. I WANT A HEALTHY, ACTIVE LIFE WHERE WE IMPROVE OURSELVE AS WE AGE. I DON'T WANT TO GET A BOYFRIEND AND LET MYSELF GO AND I EXPECT HIM TO WORK JUST AS HARD AS I DO. I DON'T ASK ANYTHING I'M NOT WILLING TO DO MYSELF :)

    Why are you yelling at me? :cry:
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
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    It would only be a deal breaker if he refused to learn better habits or use me for support to get healthier. Or if he was negative about my lifetstyle and was harsh about my focus to stay healthy.
  • doobabe
    doobabe Posts: 436 Member
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    Im married to someone that is less than amused with fitness in general. Well, clearly it wasnt a deal breaker for me lol
  • AlwaysWanderer
    AlwaysWanderer Posts: 641 Member
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    I'm married to a guy like that. And wouldnt change him for any fitness/health freak, even though I like exercising and eating healthy. So no, it wouldnt be a deal braker for me. There are many much more important things about a person than that.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    TOTAL DEALBREAKER
    IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOURSELF WHY SHOULD I INVEST MY ENERGY AND EFFORTS TO TRY AND CONVINCE YOU THE BENEFITS?
    I PLAN ON HAVING CHILDREN AND WANT TO HAVE A HUSBAND BY ME TO RAISE THEM WITH ME. I GO ON DATES NOW AND USUALLY THE FIRST DATE IS A HIKE. IF YOU CAN'T KEEP UP WITH ME ON A MOUNTAIN THEN I DOUBT YOU CAN HANDLE ME ON THE BEDROOM. IT'S ALL ABOUT LIFESTYLE AND I'M NOT A GIRL WHO WATCHES HOURS OF TV OR EATS FAST FOOD. SO WHY WOULD I CHOOSE A PARTNER WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME INTERESTS AS ME. THE GOAL IS TO SHARE A LIFE WITH SOMEONE. I WANT A HEALTHY, ACTIVE LIFE WHERE WE IMPROVE OURSELVE AS WE AGE. I DON'T WANT TO GET A BOYFRIEND AND LET MYSELF GO AND I EXPECT HIM TO WORK JUST AS HARD AS I DO. I DON'T ASK ANYTHING I'M NOT WILLING TO DO MYSELF :)

    Good lord, if you KNOW its a "visual assault" like your signature states... why don't you stop it? So annoying and inconsiderate.

    But otherwise, I agree with what you said.

    Her caps lock is broken on her computer....she doesn't have a choice...
  • lor007
    lor007 Posts: 884 Member
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    No, not at all.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    turn this around for a second....would you want someone not to date you just because you were overweight and not into fitness/health?? I wouldn't be married if this were the case. Kind of harsh in my opinion.

    This is like saying "Would you want someone not to date you because he doesn't find you attractive?"

    People are attracted to what they like, and they can't change what they like. I am attracted to people who take pride in their appearance and who are mature enough to understand that other people depend on them making responsible decisions with their lives. I cannot marry someone who willfully makes poor decisions and acts like it's something I should just overlook.

    I am not talking about someone who orders a pizza or stops for a burger and fries every now and then. I'm talking about someone who lives on junk food, spends hours a day in front of the TV, and thinks there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

    Nobody has a problem with a person saying "I won't date a smoker," but say "I won't date a slob" and it's okay to judge that as superficial? Excuse me, but what's the difference?

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