The help my Husband gives me, not!

everydaypam

*double post*

Hunskers

He may be earning money for the family but you are taking care of the family. I would explain to him that you understand he is tired from working but you are tired as well (as well as being sick) and you would appreciate some help. I had this once a long time ago. I said to my now husband that if he wanted a maid, he would have to hire one, if he wanted a full time babysitter -he could hire one but if he wanted a partner in everything - I could be that person but he would have to be that person too. (In other words-share responsiblities).

But each relationship is different - what works for one might not work for others.

I do like the taser idea too though - that might have some secret satisfaction watching him "suffer" a bit.

ML0305

I would wake him up and say "since you are home now, Im going to take a nap...thanks hun" and give him a kiss!!! Im sure that would wake him up and make him wonder...

koosdel

You should put on something slinky, give him a massage, and thank him for having you as him woman. Don't forget to pour him a drink.

If you don't have time to make a sandwich for him, you could order a pizza.

...and try not to cough all over the place.

lemonychick

So, I have a cold, a bad cold, but I carry on doing the Mum thing, running around after three kids, one if which is sick too. Hubby comes home after being away with work for the week (did I mention I was doing all of the above by myself?), Anyway, hubs comes home, looks at me and says "You don't look too bad." moves into the child-free front room and proceeds to fall into a dead sleep on the sofa.

What do I do ladies? Respect the fact that he's been out earning money for the family, or Taser his bollocks??? I have to be honest, I'm leaning toward a 10 minute taser........

Any alternative suggestions gratefully received!

I was, of course joking, dry British sense of humour here. It's all okay now anyway, he's woken up, all refreshed......

And gone out to Rugby Training, followed by a beer with his team mates :ohwell:

I'll put the kids to bed then shall I? :grumble:

Just thought I'd share, with a dash of humour, what is a very common global occurance with people whom I felt sure would understand........Maybe not???

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

SarabellPlus3

I'm the first one to make sure my DH gets to relax after a hard day at work (even though I work my butt off as a mom, too! LOL), but if you're sick and he's not, he needs to step up. If he's a good guy, let him know and just talk to him about it-- good guys can be clueless sometimes, and they're not a-holes, and nothing is gained by treating them like a-holes. If he's exhausted, and that fairly evens out with your sickness, cut him some slack and wait until after he naps to talk about it. It's hard, but be fair in deciding if you truly married a total jerk, or if he's just also exhausted and/or clueless.
If he's just an inconsiderate jerk, toss the kids his way and then nap. But usually, even if it's not for his sake, being kind first gets us more in return, kwim?

ThePhoenixRose

I would have a conversation with him and ask for more help.

Agreed...and be clear. Skip the passive aggressive stuff.

Agree 100%. The hubs does that on occasion. Until i remind him that while he makes most of the money, i'm the one who cares for ALL the things he's making that money for. The house, the kids, etc. And i can't do it all all the time. He graciously asks what he can do to help. Maybe try that approach rather than standing by idly, or complaining.

serena569

I sincerely believe that men want to please the women they love but in most cases they don't know how. Often, we as women, expect them to read our minds then we end up angry because we didn't get the gift we've been hinting at, the flowers he sent are not our favorite color, or he took a nap. He can't read your mind.

Seriously, tell him directly - but not accusatory - what you want and need then thank him sincerely when he comes through for you. Treat him with more respect and you'll end up getting more of what you need.

Iamfit4life

I sincerely believe that men want to please the women they love but in most cases they don't know how. Often, we as women, expect them to read our minds then we end up angry because we didn't get the gift we've been hinting at, the flowers he sent are not our favorite color, or he took a nap. He can't read your mind.

Seriously, tell him directly - but not accusatory - what you want and need then thank him sincerely when he comes through for you. Treat him with more respect and you'll end up getting more of what you need.

YES YES YES YES YES
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

Angie80281

I sincerely believe that men want to please the women they love but in most cases they don't know how. Often, we as women, expect them to read our minds then we end up angry because we didn't get the gift we've been hinting at, the flowers he sent are not our favorite color, or he took a nap. He can't read your mind.

Seriously, tell him directly - but not accusatory - what you want and need then thank him sincerely when he comes through for you. Treat him with more respect and you'll end up getting more of what you need.

YES YES YES YES YES
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

I think I might love you, too. :flowerforyou:

kym117

i vote for the tasser his goolies! yay..... :devil:

But then he would just get his "manflu" thingy and that would be it for weeks so you would just end up even worse ...
can't you sorta send the kids in to him accidently of course :devil:

You do not want to increase the risk of the deadly man flu! but taser does sound like fun, wish I could get one of those :laugh:

DannyMussels

Maybe leave him if it's that big of a problem?

I chose to do things, and be with people that make me happy in my life. Not miserable and complainy.

tamheath

I sincerely believe that men want to please the women they love but in most cases they don't know how. Often, we as women, expect them to read our minds then we end up angry because we didn't get the gift we've been hinting at, the flowers he sent are not our favorite color, or he took a nap. He can't read your mind.

Seriously, tell him directly - but not accusatory - what you want and need then thank him sincerely when he comes through for you. Treat him with more respect and you'll end up getting more of what you need.

YES YES YES YES YES
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

Absolutely true! When I complained awhile ago that our house was a mess, my beloved hubby said "Really?" He is a smart man, but he was completely serious. Had no clue that the house was a "mess." Today he has a day off. So, since he's clueless about house work, and I'm working LOTS this week, I left him with guidance. A little list. "Sweep kitchen floor", etc. Just a few things, but a few things that will remove from MY plate. Polite and direct is the key!

jenny95662

i hate when i am sick and i don't get downtime.

last year, hubby, the kids and i got sick at the same time. hubby stayed home from work and slept on the couch, while i took care of the kids and him even though i was sick too. our work is never done.

so know that feeling

KariQuiteContrary

I sincerely believe that men want to please the women they love but in most cases they don't know how. Often, we as women, expect them to read our minds then we end up angry because we didn't get the gift we've been hinting at, the flowers he sent are not our favorite color, or he took a nap. He can't read your mind.

Seriously, tell him directly - but not accusatory - what you want and need then thank him sincerely when he comes through for you. Treat him with more respect and you'll end up getting more of what you need.

YES YES YES YES YES
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS

Here here!!

goron59

I'm saying nuffin'

goron59

Apart from that, obviously

mmmichelle8486

Apart from that, obviously

and that. anything else you don't want to add??

annameier8706

I'm a stay at home military wide, so I totally understand how it feels to get the "i've been gone, i've been working, i need to relax" nonsense from the hubby. It is very hard! But when he does that I either tell the kids to go get daady, so just sit down on the couch next to him and do nothing. That way when he complains that dinner isn't ready, or something along those lines I say "i just figured you'd be too tired to eat."

Raihaanah

I get that being a mom is hard work, I have two kids of my own. I also get that travelling for work is hard too, as I work and sometimes have to travel for a week at a time. Instead of getting upset with him, let him finish his nap and then tell him it's your turn to have a break. Yes, it was inconsiderate of him to just go to sleep, but there's no point in starting a fight over it.

Just to play devil's advocate here, I'm sure that if a man jokingly suggested tasering his wife, people would be cussing him out and talking about what a jerk he is. Just saying.

Well said Angie...well said..THE END

Raihaanah

I sincerely believe that men want to please the women they love but in most cases they don't know how. Often, we as women, expect them to read our minds then we end up angry because we didn't get the gift we've been hinting at, the flowers he sent are not our favorite color, or he took a nap. He can't read your mind.

Seriously, tell him directly - but not accusatory - what you want and need then thank him sincerely when he comes through for you. Treat him with more respect and you'll end up getting more of what you need.
[/quote AGREED!!!!!!!!..Thnx for this advice or reminder rather.

ajm07

My main problem is I just don't know where to start.

(Hint: DON'T start by sleeping on the couch, duh!)

I have formally advised my better half that although I'm unlikely to pick up/cook/clean anything of my own will, I will promptly attend to any tasks that she orders...I mean asks me to do.

ninerbuff

I must have it easy then. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills, yard work, errands and all I expect my wife to do is come home and spend a little time with our daughter and me. As long as I get in my gym time (which doesn't affect either) and have time to instruct clients, then I'm good.
All our US time is on the weekends.

lemonychick

My main problem is I just don't know where to start.

(Hint: DON'T start by sleeping on the couch, duh!)

I have formally advised my better half that although I'm unlikely to pick up/cook/clean anything of my own will, I will promptly attend to any tasks that she orders...I mean asks me to do.

Hahaha, a lovely attitude and obviously a great partner to have. :happy:

lemonychick

The reponses seem split into two camps - Those with a sense of humour and those that I shall affectionately call the Stepford Wives, hahahahaha! JOKING!!!

Amayrial

For sure Taser, if nothing else for the humor!

completely agree with this!