Ladies, I need to vent!

Celiamariec

Have any of you ladies experienced this?! Men who clearly turn down a date because of your weight?! That seriously pisses me off. I'm so d*mn tired of men who act like the fat cannot be shed! I've even had a man who is overweight (even just by a little), behave as if his body is in tip top shape and like he can't talk to a chubby chick. I'm just amazed at how many shallow people there are out there. I recently regained contact with someone I went to school with (I of course gained weight since then). When we met up, he had a look of shock on his face. He was quiet, especially compared to our previous conversations, and it wasn't that he was shy... he's never been shy. Getting a damn date with a decent guy is impossible, unless your thin! A relationship isn't on my list of priorities, but when interest peaks and this is what happens... I'm just a little annoyed.

promgirl2013

You are so rightt!!!


I've sadly never had a boyfriend........


Totally understand your pain! ( It sucks how people are SOOO judgmental. And it really sucks when you feel so amazing because you are changing your body and men just put you down like that! So sad! So wrong!

Articeluvsmemphis

I don't always charge it to being shallow. People like who they like, and if they don't like how you look on the outside, then that's not the person you want. At least it's something you know up-front. Better to know they really care about looks now, than if you were to get married or have kids, and then you know, God forbid, gain weight. :happy:

promgirl2013

True!

barbiex3

omg sad. what?! maybe they are just itemidated by you. if that's how they are going to act, you don't want to be with them anyways... trust me...

Samerah12

I don't always charge it to being shallow. People like who they like, and if they don't like how you look on the outside, then that's not the person you want. At least it's something you know up-front. Better to know they really care about looks now, than if you were to get married or have kids, and then you know, God forbid, gain weight. :happy:

YES!! Very well put.

Cakepiebeer

Stop acting like a victim. You , just like everyone else has a preference. So what if some guys dont like overweight women!. Just take it as they're not the one for you because in the end, it doesnt matter

BecksgotBack

Getting a damn date with a decent guy is impossible, unless your thin!

i don't think getting a date with a decent guy has anything to do with being thin.
i'm shallow...i know what i like.

but you have to be happy with who you are regardless of what you think you look like and what you think the opposite sex is looking for. self confidence goes a lot further than looks.

ziggylove

If they do that they're really not worth your time anyway! That said I've been very blessed to be married to a man who doesn't care about my weight except to support my wanting to be healthier and happier by losing some and gettign fitter. But again, they ain't worth your time. Better to let that good man come along who likes you for who you are and isn't superficial. :flowerforyou:

Celiamariec

I don't always charge it to being shallow. People like who they like, and if they don't like how you look on the outside, then that's not the person you want. At least it's something you know up-front. Better to know they really care about looks now, than if you were to get married or have kids, and then you know, God forbid, gain weight. :happy:

I agree. To each their own. And it's nice knowing how superficial they are before hand. It's just bs that so many people are like that. It's sad that size is so important to society.

PatientBearTiger

Stop acting like a victim. You , just like everyone else has a preference. So what if some guys dont like overweight women!. Just take it as they're not the one for you because in the end, it doesnt matter

Amen. Could not have said it any better.

ilookthetype

Sounds like you're missing the chance to date jerks, bummer.

Rowann

To be honest, if a person doesn't want to ask you out because you're carrying a bit of extra weight, then they're not the person you want to go out with. Maybe you should count yourself lucky that you've had an opportunity to find that out now....

It's often a case of a guy will want to be with a confident person regardless of what weight they might be.

I've been lucky, in that I've never had a problem getting a boyfriend no matter how much I weighed. I've always known that they were with me for me, and not with an idea of what I should look like... I wouldn't have had it any other way. I've had my fair share of really decent boyfriends, whereas my slim friends have had some right creeps. I know who I'd rather be with in the long run.

DawnLosing

Just remember you can become healthy, that is the goal NOT someone's or society's perception of what skinny or beauty is... however when these guys are 35, 40ish (and trust me on this) you will still have your hair, most of them won't.

If you don't love me at my worse then you don't deserve me at my best ~ Marilyn Monroe

sarscott

Don't lose hope. There are a lot of great guys out there! I'm just over 300 lbs (widdling it away!!!), but I just married the absolute love of my life (and he's handsome, too!) a few months ago. The ones that really count may take some time to find, but once you find them you'll have a much greater appreciation for them and how they are different from the other guys.

And hey, whats a little time to work on yourself? They always say when you least expect it....

capriciousmoon

It's a good sign that they aren't right for you. It's better to know things like that ahead of time then find out after you've been with someone for a while that they are only "okay" with you and actually find your body pretty gross. I dated a guy that was only slightly okay with me because I was able to fit in his pants when we met.

TinaS88

Yea, sometimes it is shallow, but everyone has their preferences. You can't really be mad because someone just isn't into it.

voodoomoocow

I always think I dodged a bullet.

This one guy had a crush on me for 4 years. He slipped a note in my pocket around january confessing, and thinking it was cute, I gave him a chance despite friend-zoning him. 2 weeks later, he decided he just wanted to be friends. I sort of think he took one look at my body and was put off. It was an ego crush. He wasn't even cute, and definitely not in shape. Yes, I'm bitter XD

abutterflyemerges

I've always been the type that didn't care what others thought about me especially men. I figure the ones who are judgmental don't deserve me anyways and that the poor skinny soul who does meet them will just be with a shallow being. The right one will be the one who sees you for who you are inside and now how much is on the outside. I saw your pictures and your really pretty. So don't let shallow people get you down, they are not worth it.
ps. the baby in your pictures is damn adorable!

aurorasangel2000

Yes, everyone has a preference, HOWEVER, when you've had great conversations and interactions with someone and your personalties click, and their tune completely changes when they see you, is absolute BS. I do agree that it's just as bad when women do it. But, it's true; if they're that shallow and that's all they're interested in, they're seriously NOT worth your time. And better to find out before you become emotionally, or even more emotionally, invested. Weight can be lost, looks can be changed; a bad personality and being shallow are a lot harder to overcome ;-)

ahsongbird

I'm sorry that happened to you, I know how much that can hurt. On the other hand, everyone has their own preferences and I know a lot of men who like big women and dont like thin women, most guys i know that hear I'm trying to lose weight tell me not to bc in their words " thin women r nice to look at sometimes , but who wants to have sex with a bag of bones? " I don't agree with that statement tho bc I would love to be thin and don care if they like it or not lol

nanodot

Everyone is entitled to their preferred body type. I've been turned down for mine, and picked up for it. If they don't like it, it's their loss.

Celiamariec

I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.

aurorasangel2000

I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.

:-) Exactly

red01angel

I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.

Some people aren't sensitive to others' feelings. The sooner you learn that, the better.

love22step

I know quite a few guys who have married heavy women. Most of them are also heavy. There are some very nice guys out there who don't have a problem with extra pounds. Everyone has their preferences. My husband is one of those guys who probably wouldn't date a heavy chick. He wasn't mean about my weight gain, but I know he wasn't happy with it. I never told him I stopped dating good-looking men before I met him. (Don't tell him.) Good-looking guys seemed to have more hang-ups than I wanted to deal with. My husband is just right for me. You'll find the perfect match. Just be patient and be picky. Meanwhile, count your blessings and have fun!

Phoenix1401

I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.

dammmmnnn bro! Homegirl put yo *kitten* in check! xD

ReinasWrath

Yeah they'll toss you to the side for being heavy but they always seem to advertise that they want a girl who can pack away as much food as they can. Well Idk if any real guys want that but thats what they always say in the movies >_> lol you can't really have both unless that girl is super lucky and blessed -_-

ReinasWrath

I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.

dammmmnnn bro! Homegirl put yo *kitten* in check! xD

She sure did xD

Cakepiebeer

I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.

Like I said, it doesnt f*ckin matter. You cant change how they think, and why would you. Dust yourself off and keep walking forward

shauna121211

He sounds like a complete douche bag... not all guys are like that... I happen to have a very in shape boyfriend who has loved me at my heaviest with no judgement!