Whats with all the mind game playing men!
Replies
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The minute I stopped trying to understand my boyfriend was the the minute we got on a whole lot better lol. He is a completely different breed to me. And lord help him if he even tried to figure out the way I roll..........0
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Some men play games. Some women play games. We are all just people. Painting an entire gender with the same brush really irritates me.0
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MY EXAMPLE:
Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30
This is part of the problem. You're playing games with him, too, so how does he know what YOU really intend? I know that women tend to believe playing "a little hard to get" is charming, and for some men, I think it is. But those are typically very confident men who know exactly why you're being coy. The vast majority of men sense hesitation, and they'd rather not feel like a *kitten* by assuming you're more interested than you appear to be.... just don't get why some men & WOMEN get kicks out of leading people on when they have no intention of persuing anything further...
I agree with this, and I will not go on a second date with a guy if I am positive that there is no potential for a relationship. I am not a recreational dater, so it would be a waste of his time and mine. However, you have to get to that determination first. One date does not mean someone is leading you on. It means he likes you so far and wants to get to know you better. That's the purpose of dating, and there's nothing wrong with a guy deciding he's not interested in a second date.
This is the part where women are guilty of reading too much into a situation. If a guy sends me a random text but never follows through with an invitation for a second date, I assume he's not really interested, and I move on. I don't engage him with flirty texts of my own and then sit by the phone, waiting for him to call and ask me out.0 -
Seriously..... Do men play mind games on or women read too much into EVERYTHING?
I don't see myself as someone who exageraates a situation... I am quite grounded and feel that I reflect a lot on a situation before making an opinion or deciding what to do but when it comes to guys... the saying is true. "Men REALLY are from Venus and Women are from Mars"
Men.. any feeback would be helpful.. I'd rather be on the same planet if I am ever going to find happiness
I thought it was women are from Venus, men are from Mars.0 -
He hasn't spoken to you in a few HOURS and you're freaking out? Um...0
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MY EXAMPLE:
Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30
Truth is I know I am reading to much into it this time and he may possible text me back later on tonight but without going into the completed back ground of everything that has gone on.... I CANNOT work the guy out... If he's "Just that into me" Fine... I can handle it.... just don't get why some men & WOMEN get kicks out of leading people on when they have no intention of persuing anything further...
We must be interested in the same guy ^^ I am in the same boat...I dont understand someone nor myself for the first time in my life. And I care about this understanding. I am the person who won't realize a guy was hitting on me or that a guy likes me until he is basically telling me, "I love you!" So I feel odd thinking I am reading into things...He will do a similar thing..we will hang out and he will be flirty (I think o_o) and then its just like...a few days and nothing when suddenly he'll contact me. u_u
I think its fd up to lead ppl on myself...dont understand it for the life of me...but...I am in the same boat I think >_<0 -
Yeah, cause us women would never do something like playing mind games on men!
You should know why I am mad at you, etc. :laugh:0 -
MY EXAMPLE:
Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30
Men and women both game play. Not all of them but its pretty fairly split. I mean..... your own example up there is pretty full of game and 'reading into things'.
So, he asked you out, spoke to you this morning and now a couple of hours have passed and he hasnt talked to you about it since? So? I guess I dont get the problem. Hes interested or he wouldnt have asked you out. Be satisfied in that and go about your day.
I agree with this. My motto when it comes to relationships is this: You make the rules, I'll just follow them. This generally works best for me though when I'm already in the relationship, but I guess it could work in yours. Just follow his lead. And like Julie said....Be satisfied with his interest and go on with your day.0 -
Two things:
This is not exclusive to men. Women do it just as well. Maybe *you* don't do it, but many do.
If you are looking for a man to make you happy, you will never find "happiness". You have to love yourself and be happy with yourself before anyone else can love you and be happy with you.
I'm sure there are other responses like this, but I thought I would reiterate.0 -
I understand what you mean. My story: I get an e-mail at work saying "I miss you".......sweet right?!? (and he's just a good friend) so later in the day when I get off work I ask him if he wants to come over. His answer - nope. And I was offering a fun adult night........so confusing.0
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I might be heading into the world of dating one day and all these games or rules I hear about scare the crap out of me. Granted, I figure the men I'd date are more mature being that I haven't dated in over 11 years so hopefully there's a difference in men that were 19-23 when I last dated and the men now which would be around ages 30-40.
I keep reading and hearing that you need to play hard to get, you need to wait 24 hours before replying, no texting or emails, don't pay, don't seem desperate, don't dress too slutty, 3-5 date rules, blah blah!
It's crazy and intimidating.0 -
I don't play mind games. My wife doesn't play mind games.
I know what she wants; she knows what I want.
Not sure if I know what a mind game is. We like to play Boggle. I usually win. We use our minds.0 -
A word of advice-- don't marry a military man. Seriously. It can be days between calls and texts and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong-- he's seriously just busy.
But that's a marriage. You're at the beginning and he really probably has no idea that you were expecting a call or text. At this point try to relax. It's been less than 24 hours-- some men have a thing about that.0 -
Okay with more detail.... we were talking about what we were doing at the weekend... I mentioned I fancied a filme - having blackberry messenger he hasn't read it all day.............. Now i'm like - we were mid convo, have u seen my "u wanna come" and decided not to read it so u keep me guessing?
If he doesn't and it turns to a r for read then I get my answer... to which I will reply "a simple no would have been fine, no pressure lol"
then again i dnt wanna seem needy and maybe i should just leave it if he doesnt reply...... what u think?0 -
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they tend to like to keep things simple... beer, sport, sex, food... not necessarily in that order.
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In my experience, we are usually pretty simple creatures & usually can be distracted & persuaded to what ladies want us to do by a smile, a flash of skin, or even a kind word from a beautiful woman. But, as with everything, there are always exceptions...0 -
I might be heading into the world of dating one day and all these games or rules I hear about scare the crap out of me. Granted, I figure the men I'd date are more mature being that I haven't dated in over 11 years so hopefully there's a difference in men that were 19-23 when I last dated and the men now which would be around ages 30-40.
I keep reading and hearing that you need to play hard to get, you need to wait 24 hours before replying, no texting or emails, don't pay, don't seem desperate, don't dress too slutty, 3-5 date rules, blah blah!
It's crazy and intimidating.
I'm so glad I'm married. I didn't do single well & would NEVER want to do it again...0 -
I keep reading and hearing that you need to play hard to get, you need to wait 24 hours before replying, no texting or emails, don't pay, don't seem desperate, don't dress too slutty, 3-5 date rules, blah blah!
You don't need to do any of that.
In my opinion, games are for people who lack confidence or really don't have that much going on in the attractiveness stakes to secure someone's interest without them.
Look at the 3 day "rule" some men have before calling a woman back. The idea is that the woman gains the impression that you have a busy and active life and you are not desperate for attention.
I know this is a novel concept for some men but how about ACTUALLY having a busy life or being a success so you do not have to convey a false impression? How about not being desperate for a woman's attention because you have other sources of self worth?
When I was single I broke pretty much every "rule" in the book and still had more female attention and success in dating than I knew what do with. It's about who you are, not the games you play.0 -
Okay with more detail.... we were talking about what we were doing at the weekend... I mentioned I fancied a filme - having blackberry messenger he hasn't read it all day.............. Now i'm like - we were mid convo, have u seen my "u wanna come" and decided not to read it so u keep me guessing?
If he doesn't and it turns to a r for read then I get my answer... to which I will reply "a simple no would have been fine, no pressure lol"
then again i dnt wanna seem needy and maybe i should just leave it if he doesnt reply...... what u think?
Im telling you, I totally relate to this. After being very flirty with me, I offered to take him out to eat to thank him for everything he had done for me. He responded a day later like, "You dont have to do that." Then the next time we saw each other he was asking if he could sit in on my classes with me and trying to convince me to take classes with him that I didnt understand...O_o
ps: Msf74 above me has the best advice...although obv his advice is hard to change feelings (like any), but really...hes God-Tier.0 -
Exactly.Yeah, cause us women would never do something like playing mind games on men!
You should know why I am mad at you, etc. :laugh:
You should know why I'm mad. I have a headache. You should know what I'm thinking all the time. There's nothing wrong....ect0 -
I think I agree with some people play games and some people don't. Some people read to deep into situations and some don't. I think that if you meet someone and there is sincere interest on both parts, there is no need for "the game". If there is a "game" to begin with, chances are, you're wasting your time with that person and you should just move on.
Personally, I would never take advice from a woman with a penguin on her head.
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I might be heading into the world of dating one day and all these games or rules I hear about scare the crap out of me. Granted, I figure the men I'd date are more mature being that I haven't dated in over 11 years so hopefully there's a difference in men that were 19-23 when I last dated and the men now which would be around ages 30-40.
I keep reading and hearing that you need to play hard to get, you need to wait 24 hours before replying, no texting or emails, don't pay, don't seem desperate, don't dress too slutty, 3-5 date rules, blah blah!
It's crazy and intimidating.
The age thing is weird for me, too. For the first time in my life, I am being approached by actual grown men (I don't mean creepy old guys, it's just that I'm 29 now, and men in their 30s do things differently than guys in their 20s). Sometimes it's hard to know whether they are just being nice or if they're trying to show interest. But I generally believe that a grown man will make himself pretty clear.
As for what you're supposed to do or not do when dating ... the only rule worth remembering is to be yourself from the very beginning. I think we'd all rather know upfront what kind of person we're dealing with than to develop certain expectations about someone's personality and behavior and then see something totally different later on. In short, don't try to be what HE likes. If he doesn't like YOU, then he's not the one. And that's okay.0 -
I think women try to make men a whole lot more complicated than they really are. Bottom line is that most of us really aren't all that complex. That's not to mean we're shallow or anything it's just that usually what we say is what we mean. It's not code. There are guys that like to play mind games but I see that as an awful lot of effort for not much return. It seems that women generally do read a lot of stuff into stuff that probably isn't there.
^^Indeed0 -
MY EXAMPLE:
Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30
Truth is I know I am reading to much into it this time and he may possible text me back later on tonight but without going into the completed back ground of everything that has gone on.... I CANNOT work the guy out... If he's "Just that into me" Fine... I can handle it.... just don't get why some men & WOMEN get kicks out of leading people on when they have no intention of persuing anything further...
I'm not sure where the game playing part is. He flirted, asked you out, talked to you the next day...? Am I missing something? Do I play games all the time on accident? haha0 -
I might be heading into the world of dating one day and all these games or rules I hear about scare the crap out of me. Granted, I figure the men I'd date are more mature being that I haven't dated in over 11 years so hopefully there's a difference in men that were 19-23 when I last dated and the men now which would be around ages 30-40.
I keep reading and hearing that you need to play hard to get, you need to wait 24 hours before replying, no texting or emails, don't pay, don't seem desperate, don't dress too slutty, 3-5 date rules, blah blah!
It's crazy and intimidating.
The age thing is weird for me, too. For the first time in my life, I am being approached by actual grown men (I don't mean creepy old guys, it's just that I'm 29 now, and men in their 30s do things differently than guys in their 20s). Sometimes it's hard to know whether they are just being nice or if they're trying to show interest. But I generally believe that a grown man will make himself pretty clear.
As for what you're supposed to do or not do when dating ... the only rule worth remembering is to be yourself from the very beginning. I think we'd all rather know upfront what kind of person we're dealing with than to develop certain expectations about someone's personality and behavior and then see something totally different later on. In short, don't try to be what HE likes. If he doesn't like YOU, then he's not the one. And that's okay.
I hope you're right about men being different at this age, in a good way. If I do end up out there in the dating world, I hope it's not like what i remember.
This is all scary!0 -
I agree with this. Also, I think a huge factor is women reading too far into things and men NOT reading to far into things..Some men play mind games... however some men dont relise they are playing mind games which can confuse situations too!
I know I will sit and breakdown a conversation or action when they guy may have done it simply without thinking.
Games are stupid. I want to be with a guy that can be upfront and honest and I will do the same. Games just cause MORE confusion and hurt feelings.0 -
Okay with more detail.... we were talking about what we were doing at the weekend... I mentioned I fancied a filme - having blackberry messenger he hasn't read it all day.............. Now i'm like - we were mid convo, have u seen my "u wanna come" and decided not to read it so u keep me guessing?
If he doesn't and it turns to a r for read then I get my answer... to which I will reply "a simple no would have been fine, no pressure lol"
then again i dnt wanna seem needy and maybe i should just leave it if he doesnt reply...... what u think?
Wow, it seems like you may be very sensitive. They guy may have had his BB die. He may be stuck in a meeting. He may have lost his BB. He may be deferring reading your message until he has a chance to truly respond. I would read absolutely nothing into this and if he doesn't respond, do not say anything to him.0 -
Okay with more detail.... we were talking about what we were doing at the weekend... I mentioned I fancied a filme - having blackberry messenger he hasn't read it all day.............. Now i'm like - we were mid convo, have u seen my "u wanna come" and decided not to read it so u keep me guessing?
If he doesn't and it turns to a r for read then I get my answer... to which I will reply "a simple no would have been fine, no pressure lol"
then again i dnt wanna seem needy and maybe i should just leave it if he doesnt reply...... what u think?
Wow, it seems like you may be very sensitive. They guy may have had his BB die. He may be stuck in a meeting. He may have lost his BB. He may be deferring reading your message until he has a chance to truly respond. I would read absolutely nothing into this and if he doesn't respond, do not say anything to him.
Idk I would feel the same way if a convo is going great and then I mention, "Wanna come?" and *nothing*...
Maybe he was checking his schedule and forgot to respond is my guess ^^ Ive been guilty of that...
A lot.0 -
He replied.... he already has plans which I could have guessed to be honest.... His reason I do not doubt as there is no real reason to and if he wanted to blow me out i figured he'd just no reply... that logical???
As i wasnt really referring to an actual day... I dnt meant today or tomorrow, just meant anytime in general (no pressure, just a suggestion)
he replied "yeah kk" with a sticking out tongue......
Would it seem needy for me to say... "So u tell me a day your free and we will go" ??? I don't want to pressure him AT ALL - But having both been GUILTY (I admit) of playing games.... and keeping each other guessing... i want him to know that I am interested and don't just want to leave it to a "let me know"0 -
I don't think men play mind games like at all. Period.
I don't believe in that. If simply he doesn't do or do something that I don't agree with or because he just doesn't call back or something, I don't think it's mind games.
If it's a problem for you then just leave him alone. = Simple solution
MEN I have your back on this one lol
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I must admit that I haven't followed all of the posts. However, from what I read and your last post, I would suggest you let him make the next move. If he is truly interested in you, he will make it. If he doesn't, then chances are he isn't interested in you that way.0
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