Whats with all the mind game playing men!

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  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Seriously..... Do men play mind games on or women read too much into EVERYTHING?

    The answer is yes to both. Everyone plays mind games, and when messages are indirect and unclear people read into a situation what they want to read into it and not the reality.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    You mention "finding happiness."

    Find happiness within yourself, enjoy life, someone to share it with will follow.

    This is so true. Real happiness comes from peace and love from within, everything else is just the creamy filling added bonus.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    MY EXAMPLE:

    Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
    Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
    Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30

    Men and women both game play. Not all of them but its pretty fairly split. I mean..... your own example up there is pretty full of game and 'reading into things'.
    So, he asked you out, spoke to you this morning and now a couple of hours have passed and he hasnt talked to you about it since? So? I guess I dont get the problem. Hes interested or he wouldnt have asked you out. Be satisfied in that and go about your day.
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
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    MY EXAMPLE:

    Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
    Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
    Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30

    Truth is I know I am reading to much into it this time and he may possible text me back later on tonight but without going into the completed back ground of everything that has gone on.... I CANNOT work the guy out... If he's "Just that into me" Fine... I can handle it.... just don't get why some men & WOMEN get kicks out of leading people on when they have no intention of persuing anything further...
    Wait, so it was less than 24 hours since you last heard from him and you characterize that as "playing games?" That sounds normal for the start of a relationship. I've had guys who texted and IMed me constantly from the start and they usually turn out to be needy nutjobs. What's the rush. Let things develop and try not to care too much. If it's going to happen, it'll happen. I hardly think this sounds like he's playing mind games.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
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    Please don't think I am generalising men and women into only 2 groups... simply putting it out there that women and men as 2 sex's sharing charactweristics of another...

    MY EXAMPLE:

    Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
    Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
    Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30

    Truth is I know I am reading to much into it this time and he may possible text me back later on tonight but without going into the completed back ground of everything that has gone on.... I CANNOT work the guy out... If he's "Just that into me" Fine... I can handle it.... just don't get why some men & WOMEN get kicks out of leading people on when they have no intention of persuing anything further...
    SELF CHECK TIME!!! What are YOUR expectations? Every 1hr texts, every night texts, every other night? It's your expectations that are not being met. Does HE know them? Are they realistic?
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
    You're just as guilty, dear...
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    You mention "finding happiness."

    Find happiness within yourself, enjoy life, someone to share it with will follow.

    Yes, exactly.

    If you have a clear idea of who you are, what you do and do not find acceptable and act on it accordingly then life becomes so much simpler.

    Some men will play games, some will not. It won't matter if you know yourself. If a man plays games and you do not find it acceptable then go on your way until you come across someone who does meet your criteria. Given their are literally billions of men in he world you are bound to come across a good fit eventually.
  • Wingmistress
    Wingmistress Posts: 92
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    I think I agree with some people play games and some people don't. Some people read to deep into situations and some don't. I think that if you meet someone and there is sincere interest on both parts, there is no need for "the game". If there is a "game" to begin with, chances are, you're wasting your time with that person and you should just move on.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
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    IME, women are much more likely to be playing mind games and/or reading too much into what guys say.

    Not to say guys don't play mind games but women are 10x worse.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    In my experience....women Always read into everything Way too much. It's that whole thing about how guys dont use their brains as much...its because we dont care to overthink everything. We'd rather go with the flow than bring up something form 100000 years ago about how we didnt open the door the ONE time and have you explode into how we dont love you anymore.
  • Luandanielle1979
    Luandanielle1979 Posts: 747 Member
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    The minute I stopped trying to understand my boyfriend was the the minute we got on a whole lot better lol. He is a completely different breed to me. And lord help him if he even tried to figure out the way I roll..........
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Some men play games. Some women play games. We are all just people. Painting an entire gender with the same brush really irritates me.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    MY EXAMPLE:

    Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
    Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
    Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30

    This is part of the problem. You're playing games with him, too, so how does he know what YOU really intend? I know that women tend to believe playing "a little hard to get" is charming, and for some men, I think it is. But those are typically very confident men who know exactly why you're being coy. The vast majority of men sense hesitation, and they'd rather not feel like a *kitten* by assuming you're more interested than you appear to be.
    ... just don't get why some men & WOMEN get kicks out of leading people on when they have no intention of persuing anything further...

    I agree with this, and I will not go on a second date with a guy if I am positive that there is no potential for a relationship. I am not a recreational dater, so it would be a waste of his time and mine. However, you have to get to that determination first. One date does not mean someone is leading you on. It means he likes you so far and wants to get to know you better. That's the purpose of dating, and there's nothing wrong with a guy deciding he's not interested in a second date.

    This is the part where women are guilty of reading too much into a situation. If a guy sends me a random text but never follows through with an invitation for a second date, I assume he's not really interested, and I move on. I don't engage him with flirty texts of my own and then sit by the phone, waiting for him to call and ask me out.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    Seriously..... Do men play mind games on or women read too much into EVERYTHING?

    I don't see myself as someone who exageraates a situation... I am quite grounded and feel that I reflect a lot on a situation before making an opinion or deciding what to do but when it comes to guys... the saying is true. "Men REALLY are from Venus and Women are from Mars"

    Men.. any feeback would be helpful.. I'd rather be on the same planet if I am ever going to find happiness

    I thought it was women are from Venus, men are from Mars.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    He hasn't spoken to you in a few HOURS and you're freaking out? Um...
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    MY EXAMPLE:

    Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
    Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
    Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30

    Truth is I know I am reading to much into it this time and he may possible text me back later on tonight but without going into the completed back ground of everything that has gone on.... I CANNOT work the guy out... If he's "Just that into me" Fine... I can handle it.... just don't get why some men & WOMEN get kicks out of leading people on when they have no intention of persuing anything further...

    We must be interested in the same guy ^^ I am in the same boat...I dont understand someone nor myself for the first time in my life. And I care about this understanding. I am the person who won't realize a guy was hitting on me or that a guy likes me until he is basically telling me, "I love you!" So I feel odd thinking I am reading into things...He will do a similar thing..we will hang out and he will be flirty (I think o_o) and then its just like...a few days and nothing when suddenly he'll contact me. u_u

    I think its fd up to lead ppl on myself...dont understand it for the life of me...but...I am in the same boat I think >_<
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    Yeah, cause us women would never do something like playing mind games on men!

    You should know why I am mad at you, etc. :laugh:
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
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    MY EXAMPLE:

    Man: Constantly flirting, asks u out for drinks......
    Women: Accepts after maybe playing a little hard to get
    Man: Speaks to me this morning.. then nothing since 11:30

    Men and women both game play. Not all of them but its pretty fairly split. I mean..... your own example up there is pretty full of game and 'reading into things'.
    So, he asked you out, spoke to you this morning and now a couple of hours have passed and he hasnt talked to you about it since? So? I guess I dont get the problem. Hes interested or he wouldnt have asked you out. Be satisfied in that and go about your day.

    I agree with this. My motto when it comes to relationships is this: You make the rules, I'll just follow them. This generally works best for me though when I'm already in the relationship, but I guess it could work in yours. Just follow his lead. And like Julie said....Be satisfied with his interest and go on with your day.
  • SunshineKisses_2012
    SunshineKisses_2012 Posts: 471 Member
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    Two things:

    This is not exclusive to men. Women do it just as well. Maybe *you* don't do it, but many do.

    If you are looking for a man to make you happy, you will never find "happiness". You have to love yourself and be happy with yourself before anyone else can love you and be happy with you.

    I'm sure there are other responses like this, but I thought I would reiterate.
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    I understand what you mean. My story: I get an e-mail at work saying "I miss you".......sweet right?!? (and he's just a good friend) so later in the day when I get off work I ask him if he wants to come over. His answer - nope. And I was offering a fun adult night........so confusing.

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