Married to a man child?

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mleoni092708
mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
in Chit-Chat
I love my husband dearly. He is an awesome guy. But sometimes I feel like I have 2 kids instead of just the one I gave birth to! He can never remember to do anything, doesn't notice what's going on around him. Doesn't notice the garbage is overflowing, or the dog is flipping out because he has to go outside. He'll tell me he'll take care of doing something and after 2 weeks or longer, I remind him again and then just do it myself. I've tried talking to him about it but it just comes out as nagging (I can't even stand the way i sound!). It's just become a real problem for me because I feel like I can't count on him to handle responsibilities. It's more irritating than anything. What happens if I forgot to pay the bills, or forgot to pick up our daughter at daycare, or just forgot to buy groceries? Am I just supposed to accept that I'm the responsible one and he's can't be counted on? That's sad. As you can tell, I'm the wound up one in the relationship. Advice? And please be kind if possible.
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  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    its about perspective. I learned to do a lot of things on my own for this reason. I can balance the budget, kill spiders, fix broken things, mow the lawn, change my oil, all the "man" things. Because I never had any help. Made me a well rounded woman. Also made me less angry to look at it that way. Now.... choose to continue to live that way or change it is up to you
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    I love my husband dearly. He is an awesome guy. But sometimes I feel like I have 2 kids instead of just the one I gave birth to! He can never remember to do anything, doesn't notice what's going on around him. Doesn't notice the garbage is overflowing, or the dog is flipping out because he has to go outside. He'll tell me he'll take care of doing something and after 2 weeks or longer, I remind him again and then just do it myself. I've tried talking to him about it but it just comes out as nagging (I can't even stand the way i sound!). It's just become a real problem for me because I feel like I can't count on him to handle responsibilities. It's more irritating than anything. What happens if I forgot to pay the bills, or forgot to pick up our daughter at daycare, or just forgot to buy groceries? Am I just supposed to accept that I'm the responsible one and he's can't be counted on? That's sad. As you can tell, I'm the wound up one in the relationship. Advice? And please be kind if possible.

    Honey? Is that you? Did you make a new account and not tell me?


    =)
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
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    Very funny :tongue:
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Honey? Is that you? Did you make a new account and not tell me?


    =)

    If she did you wouldn't remember anyway. :tongue:
  • Montco_cancel
    Montco_cancel Posts: 74 Member
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    Haha, I was just going to say, this sounds like my wife.
  • BecksgotBack
    BecksgotBack Posts: 385 Member
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    throw something at him...
    shoes work great--the pointy kind

    You still love him and he must be doing SOMETHING right. Just focus on the good qualities and face the music...we (women) do it all better anyway.
  • msterlitz
    msterlitz Posts: 22
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    This sounds exactly like my husband. After our son was diagnosed with ADHD my husband was tested and has Adult ADHD. It's worth looking into. Talk to his family to see what he was like as a child.
  • KnottyJen
    KnottyJen Posts: 1,070 Member
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    Ugh....Sounds like me before I decided to divorce mine....Just sayin...

    ETA: Well, except for the part where you say yours is awesome. You've definitely got that going for ya. O.o
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
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    throw something at him...
    shoes work great--the pointy kind

    You still love him and he must be doing SOMETHING right. Just focus on the good qualities and face the music...we (women) do it all better anyway.

    One more reason why I just adore you Becks lol
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
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    Ok so I'm hearing that this is not unusual? Haha. I'm on the verge of attaching post it notes to his clothing!
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,319 Member
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    Maybe a little action on the side to take your mind off things.
  • joejccva71
    joejccva71 Posts: 2,985 Member
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    throw something at him...
    shoes work great--the pointy kind

    You still love him and he must be doing SOMETHING right. Just focus on the good qualities and face the music...we (women) do it all better anyway.

    My ex would throw shoes at me and then I started hiding them from her to really piss her off until she apologized. :P
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
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    I love my husband dearly. He is an awesome guy. But sometimes I feel like I have 2 kids instead of just the one I gave birth to! He can never remember to do anything, doesn't notice what's going on around him. Doesn't notice the garbage is overflowing, or the dog is flipping out because he has to go outside. He'll tell me he'll take care of doing something and after 2 weeks or longer, I remind him again and then just do it myself. I've tried talking to him about it but it just comes out as nagging (I can't even stand the way i sound!). It's just become a real problem for me because I feel like I can't count on him to handle responsibilities. It's more irritating than anything. What happens if I forgot to pay the bills, or forgot to pick up our daughter at daycare, or just forgot to buy groceries? Am I just supposed to accept that I'm the responsible one and he's can't be counted on? That's sad. As you can tell, I'm the wound up one in the relationship. Advice? And please be kind if possible.

    You know it's football season right???? It all depends when/ what time you ask him. If it's during a game yeah good luck with that.
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
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    The shoe idea is hilarious. But what if I damaged my shoe when it hits him in the head? "Evil laugh"
  • joejccva71
    joejccva71 Posts: 2,985 Member
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    I love my husband dearly. He is an awesome guy. But sometimes I feel like I have 2 kids instead of just the one I gave birth to! He can never remember to do anything, doesn't notice what's going on around him. Doesn't notice the garbage is overflowing, or the dog is flipping out because he has to go outside. He'll tell me he'll take care of doing something and after 2 weeks or longer, I remind him again and then just do it myself. I've tried talking to him about it but it just comes out as nagging (I can't even stand the way i sound!). It's just become a real problem for me because I feel like I can't count on him to handle responsibilities. It's more irritating than anything. What happens if I forgot to pay the bills, or forgot to pick up our daughter at daycare, or just forgot to buy groceries? Am I just supposed to accept that I'm the responsible one and he's can't be counted on? That's sad. As you can tell, I'm the wound up one in the relationship. Advice? And please be kind if possible.

    You know it's football season right???? It all depends when/ what time you ask him. If it's during a game yeah good luck with that.

    Exactly. I don't acknowledge anyones existence on NFL Sunday.
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
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    Please...I'm a veteran wife of 8 years...even I know not to ask for ANYTHING during football games, unless it's "honey do you need another beer" :drinker:
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    I love my husband dearly. He is an awesome guy. But sometimes I feel like I have 2 kids instead of just the one I gave birth to! He can never remember to do anything, doesn't notice what's going on around him. Doesn't notice the garbage is overflowing, or the dog is flipping out because he has to go outside. He'll tell me he'll take care of doing something and after 2 weeks or longer, I remind him again and then just do it myself. I've tried talking to him about it but it just comes out as nagging (I can't even stand the way i sound!). It's just become a real problem for me because I feel like I can't count on him to handle responsibilities. It's more irritating than anything. What happens if I forgot to pay the bills, or forgot to pick up our daughter at daycare, or just forgot to buy groceries? Am I just supposed to accept that I'm the responsible one and he's can't be counted on? That's sad. As you can tell, I'm the wound up one in the relationship. Advice? And please be kind if possible.

    This is my life.
    Except I don't do it myself after 2 weeks, I nag and nag and nag until he does it 2 months later and then he is mad at me for "being a b!tch" and then I have to say "if you did it the first 10 times I asked I wouldn't HAVE to be" and on and on, rinse and repeat with the next item on the to-do list...
  • BecksgotBack
    BecksgotBack Posts: 385 Member
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    throw something at him...
    shoes work great--the pointy kind

    You still love him and he must be doing SOMETHING right. Just focus on the good qualities and face the music...we (women) do it all better anyway.

    My ex would throw shoes at me and then I started hiding them from her to really piss her off until she apologized. :P

    ah-hem...and this might be part of the reason why she's your ex. you don't eff with a woman and her shoes.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    I've been married 18 years. BTDT.

    Hubby put empty cans in the sink. Drove me crazy. I told him to just put them in recycle. He kept "forgetting". So one day I loaded the dishwasher an put the empty cans in it. Then I made sure he unloaded it. He was surprised to see the cans in there and asked why they were in there. I replied "Well I know you know how much it bugs me when you leave empty cans in the sink instead of putting them in recycle. I know you wouldn't continue to do something like that knowing it irritated me. So I figured you must want them for something or else you would have just put them in recycle. So I washed them for you." He NEVER put another can in the sink.

    In our 1st house we had a laundry chute in our bedroom. It was behind the door so you actually had to open the door to put your clothes down the chute. Hubby just left them on the floor. I got sick of putting his clothes down the chute and constantly bugging him to do it. So I just stopped. I did all the laundry that was in the laundry room, folded it, and put it away. The next day hubby asked "Can you do laundry soon please. I don't have anymore jeans or socks." I informed him that I had just gotten done with the laundry and there was no more laundry in the laundry room so I had no idea where his dirty clothes would be. He started putting his clothes down the chute.

    One time he started arguing with me and saying I was nagging him too much. I told him that nagging just means that someone is constantly having to tell you to do something over and over and over again. If he'd do it the first or even the second time he was asked there would be no nagging.
  • damonmath
    damonmath Posts: 359 Member
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    I am so glad I don't have these issues. I am so NOT the typical beer drinking football watching guy. Give me a break you lazy sacks!!! lol

    Seriously, I can not stand overflowing trash, and all the crap most guys "forget" to do. Believe me ladies, they don't forget, they 'choose' not to do it at all. It's sad, and then they claim "I'm just being a guy enjoying my football". More like neanderthals being cave men. You typical guys are lucky I don't live in your neighborhoods.... I'd be paying a visit to your houses to make sure all your chores are done... ALL YOUR CHORES ;)

    I'm just playing... but imagine how many guys are worried about that now... hmmmm ;)

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