Why don't people get it?

BondBomb

I get this a lot too. Are you telling them you dont want it or you can't have it?
Usually when I look someone in the eye and say 'I get you are trying to be nice but I really REALLY dont want it'. They usually won't push past that statement. Of course you have to make that same statement everyday!

jayliospecky

There are also some well-meaning people who really aren't jealous at all and feeding people or offering food is one of their "love languages." I have several people in my life who are always trying to feed people and it's just how they like to nurture. I try to say things like "not right now, maybe in a little bit," but I also make sure they know I appreciate what they've brought, or that I appreciate them looking out for me.

There are jealous people, too, but there's not a lot you can do about that. Make an excuse or take one and "forget" to eat it.

chicagocubsfan23

I get this a lot too. Are you telling them you dont want it or you can't have it?
Usually when I look someone in the eye and say 'I get you are trying to be nice but I really REALLY dont want it'. They usually won't push past that statement. Of course you have to make that same statement everyday!

I usually start with "No thanks I'm good" This morning I said "That's ok I already had breakfast" but people in my office don't care there are so many over weight and unhealthy people. I don't know anybody who actually cares about what they eat here.

Contrarian

Oh, ffs. Why do people on this site automatically assume that everyone is out to get them with food because they are jealous? People offer food out of generosity and kindness, usually. It is hardly some evil plot to keep everyone fat.

Just because our lives revolve around fitness and calorie counting doesn't mean that everybody else's lives need to.

Continue to say no, but seriously, please stop putting some kind of sinister twist on others trying to feed you. It's ridiculous.

Qarol

Usually when I look someone in the eye and say 'I get you are trying to be nice but I really REALLY dont want it'. They usually won't push past that statement. Of course you have to make that same statement everyday!

This works once for me...no one bothers me after that.

Yanicka1

Ahhh I have the best solution. Take the food, thank them, them put it in the garbage in front of them.......... They will never do it again.

ashlielinn

Amen!

allie1904

People will get it soon enough when they realise you mean business!

Lots of my OHs family were like this, but now they support me and if I go there to eat she knows what I'll have on my plate and what I wont eat.

skinnygirlinhiding

I totally feel you on this. It is incredibly hard for people to understand and to be quite honest, I think the people that are most persuasive are the ones who want to see us fall. What I mean by that is, some people see others exerting self control and they are mad at themselves for not being able to do that same thing so the easier way out of that situation is to make the stronger ones cave so that they are not alone. I can say this because I have been that co-worker. I have been the one to try and make others fall. Misery loves company. Having said that, however, I would like to offer a few suggestions for dealing with future situations. (Keep in mind I like to try and ward people off with humor):

"Oh I would love to have a bagel, but I already ate 20 on my way to work this morning and I am STUFFED!"

"Bagel? Did you say bagel? I'm gonna have to regretfully decline. I recently read an article that said bagels can drastically reduce sex drive sooooo.... I'm gonna pass."

(Ok, that one is funny when you use bagels, but when you have to use something like chocolate cake or butter coated popcorn, even funnier.)

"Actually I just found out I am allergic to __________ (fill in the blank). Whenever I eat it, it makes me swell up like a balloon."

(This one is actually true. If you eat too much sugar, fat, etc, you will get fat like a balloon)

Or you could simply come out and say,

"Ok look at it this way: If you were running a marathon, I wouldn't keep running in front of you and try to slow you down. I would encourage you to keep on going even when it started to hurt. I wouldn't tell you to just take a break, I would keep pushing you or at the very least, get out of your way. So in terms of the bagel, no it wouldn't kill me, but it will set me back and I am really trying hard to reach a particular finish line. I would really appreciate it if you could respect my decision to not have a bagel."

That should get them off your back. If not, well I would say the next step would be down right rudeness, but for some people that's what it takes.

Good luck, hope this helps.

You are doing great! Stay strong

mirandahimmelspeck

There is another side to people in offices who comment on people who look thin and thinking that they need to lose weight. How thin people perceive themselves in the mirror when they think that they need to lose weight can be very skewed. There is a woman in our office that is a perfect size 3-4 who is extremely thin but whenever conversation turns to diets she is right there wanting information and jumping in with both feet. I care very much about her but I know that she does not need to lose weight, she needs to excercise to build muscle tone and get fit, but she does not need to lose weight - there is a huge difference there. She gets so obsessed with calories that she consumes that she will eat an apple for lunch and that is it. This is not healthy. It is important to know what a healthy weight is and don't go below it because being under a healthy weight is just as unhealthy as being over it.

chicagocubsfan23

Oh, ffs. Why do people on this site automatically assume that everyone is out to get them with food because they are jealous? People offer food out of generosity and kindness, usually. It is hardly some evil plot to keep everyone fat.

Just because our lives revolve around fitness and calorie counting doesn't mean that everybody else's lives need to.

Continue to say no, but seriously, please stop putting some kind of sinister twist on others trying to feed you. It's ridiculous.

I wasn't putting a twist on anything. All I was saying is I wish they would just respect my choice to not eat whatever food they're trying to shove in my face

chicagocubsfan23

There is another side to people in offices who comment on people who look thin and thinking that they need to lose weight. How thin people perceive themselves in the mirror when they think that they need to lose weight can be very skewed. There is a woman in our office that is a perfect size 3-4 who is extremely thin but whenever conversation turns to diets she is right there wanting information and jumping in with both feet. I care very much about her but I know that she does not need to lose weight, she needs to excercise to build muscle tone and get fit, but she does not need to lose weight - there is a huge difference there. She gets so obsessed with calories that she consumes that she will eat an apple for lunch and that is it. This is not healthy. It is important to know what a healthy weight is and don't go below it because being under a healthy weight is just as unhealthy as being over it.

I understand this. I am trying to tone and cut body fat. I also know that by doing this I am going to lose weight. I work with a trainer at my gym and I fill out a food log for him to look at each time I see him. I am going about this the healthy way

maidentl

I wasn't putting a twist on anything. All I was saying is I wish they would just respect my choice to not eat whatever food they're trying to shove in my face

I think this was probably referring to all of the people assuring you that "they're just jealous." Maybe ask them if you were trying to quit smoking would they offer you cigarettes or if you were in AA would they offer you a beer? Some people really don't mean any harm but that might get the point across.

skinnygirlinhiding

Totally off subject, but HOLY CRAP! YOU LOST 244 LBS?!! THAT IS AMAZING!!!! I AM OFFICIALLY INSPIRED, THANK YOU!

This post was meant for pooch74

Gigi_licious

No one is forcing you though. You still make all your own decisions. If you want it bad enough you will continue to say no. Or fit the bagel in your daily calorie allowance

No, but when they continuously try to get me to take a bagel, it gets harder and harder to say no. What I am saying is, they should respect me and what I am doing enough to let it go. If they ask and I say no, that should be the end of it. And it isn't about how many calories right now, it's about what kind of calories

Have you tried saying no nicely once, not as nicely the 2nd time, then the 3rd time giving some attitude, looking at them seriously and in your rudest voice (but with a smile, always use the smile) saying "I already told you no! I don't want the bagel. Now stop asking!"

Contrarian

I wasn't putting a twist on anything. All I was saying is I wish they would just respect my choice to not eat whatever food they're trying to shove in my face

I think this was probably referring to all of the people assuring you that "they're just jealous." Maybe ask them if you were trying to quit smoking would they offer you cigarettes or if you were in AA would they offer you a beer? Some people really don't mean any harm but that might get the point across.

Yes. It wasn't really directed at you, OP. This is an all too common response on this site and it seriously annoys me.

chicagocubsfan23

I wasn't putting a twist on anything. All I was saying is I wish they would just respect my choice to not eat whatever food they're trying to shove in my face

I think this was probably referring to all of the people assuring you that "they're just jealous." Maybe ask them if you were trying to quit smoking would they offer you cigarettes or if you were in AA would they offer you a beer? Some people really don't mean any harm but that might get the point across.

Yes. It wasn't really directed at you, OP. This is an all too common response on this site and it seriously annoys me.

I understand that. I really do think they're just trying to be nice and possibly trying to make me feel better by saying I don't need to lose any weight or one bagel won't hurt. It just gets aggravating. Most days it's something I can easily just brush off but some days are worse than others

Gigi_licious

jealousy

Really????? Believe it or not, not everyone in the world is jealous of everyone and everything around them, right down to the bagel. Shocking, I know.

chicagocubsfan23

jealousy

Really????? Believe it or not, not everyone in the world is jealous of everyone and everything around them, right down to the bagel. Shocking, I know.

I just wanna say I like your sig about the carbs and drunk sex, very true lol

mleoni092708

Oh, ffs. Why do people on this site automatically assume that everyone is out to get them with food because they are jealous? People offer food out of generosity and kindness, usually. It is hardly some evil plot to keep everyone fat.

Just because our lives revolve around fitness and calorie counting doesn't mean that everybody else's lives need to.

Continue to say no, but seriously, please stop putting some kind of sinister twist on others trying to feed you. It's ridiculous.

I wasn't putting a twist on anything. All I was saying is I wish they would just respect my choice to not eat whatever food they're trying to shove in my face


You should only have to say "no" to them one time. If they keep pushing it, that's incredibly rude on their part. If they caught me on a bad day, I'd tell them "ask me one more time if i want a bagel and i'm going to shove it up your *kitten*!"
Honestly, mind your own business with what other people are eating! You don't try to force feed people apples and salads right? I feel your pain.

123456654321

You are going to have to quit pointing fingers, be accountable for you. When you cave, no matter what the temptation, it's no ones fault but your own.

You got this! Good luck!

Gigi_licious

jealousy

Really????? Believe it or not, not everyone in the world is jealous of everyone and everything around them, right down to the bagel. Shocking, I know.

I just wanna say I like your sig about the carbs and drunk sex, very true lol

Haha...thanks!

chicagocubsfan23

You are going to have to quit pointing fingers, be accountable for you. When you cave, no matter what the temptation, it's no ones fault but your own.

You got this! Good luck!

I am not trying to point fingers. I realize if I ate the bagel it's because I caved to their pressure. What I am trying to get at is that I think it stinks they won't leave it be after I say no one time.

LorinaLynn

Tell 'em you'll take one home for breakfast tomorrow. Then, either conveniently forget, or take it home either to eat, or if you don't want it, tear it up and toss it outside for birds.

kimiel51

Tell them that you are on a gluten free diet! That should work!

bcattoes

I find it easier to just say I'm not hungry than try to convince someone that the bagel doesn't fit my diet. Offices are a lot like this site sometimes. Say you don't want to eat something (carbs, saturated fat, loads of protein, tons of water, whatever) and there will be someone there to argue that you should. But it's hard to argue that you should eat when not hungry.

mastidon

Amen, sister! No one understands when you say, "No", to their food offerings. Food is love for some people, and they keep pushing their love on you. I have a hard time saying no to my Italian mother, but now she gets it. Plus, there is always food no matter where you go (occasionally the right kind of food), and only the strong will persevere. Keep up the hard work. I'm looking forward to my 2nd annual no-sugar November coming up.

chicagocubsfan23

Amen, sister! No one understands when you say, "No", to their food offerings. Food is love for some people, and they keep pushing their love on you. I have a hard time saying no to my Italian mother, but now she gets it. Plus, there is always food no matter where you go (occasionally the right kind of food), and only the strong will persevere. Keep up the hard work. I'm looking forward to my 2nd annual no-sugar November coming up.

No sugar in November? Thanksgiving? Lol you have way more will power than I do lol. This is the time of year I eat very very very healthy so that when I eat something sweet at Thanksgiving or Christmas, I can say oh well I ate super healthy the last couple of months this is my reward!

wilson1972

LOL - I love it! I think I'll try the 'accidentally slamming my chair into a coworker'!!

At my office it's always a 'bake sale' to raise money for charity... once they did a bake sale to raise money for a famine... seriously??? We're supporting a famine by eating cookies?

kmorris246

I loved reading this........... there are some people who might do it out of niceness, but really when they ask for the 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th time......... they're doing it because they want you to cave! This has happened to me numerous times. Or the best is "You're too skinny", "You don't need to lose any more weight", blah, blah, blah.

Keep strong girl!