Long distance relationships?

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2

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  • Cakepiebeer
    Cakepiebeer Posts: 392
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    unless you're married or have history together, it's a waste of time.
  • Kimmy546
    Kimmy546 Posts: 102
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    Thanks again for sharing everyone!!!!
  • MikeDailyIntake
    MikeDailyIntake Posts: 133
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    Thanks again for sharing everyone!!!!

    woah wait, you're 36?? you look like you are 20 something.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Someone is going to have to give up their entire life for the other. Pretty high expectations, right there.
    People move all the time.
  • FitnessElle
    FitnessElle Posts: 109
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    Someone is going to have to give up their entire life for the other. Pretty high expectations, right there.
    People move all the time.

    It's different when you have to uproot your entire life for the sake of a relationship. Tough call, I say.
  • Being2befit
    Being2befit Posts: 127 Member
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    There isnt anything wrong with long distance....but trust is key and once u blow that trust your both will start playing with everyothers feelings. Oh and the moving thing thats a leap of faith seriously... Cause ur giving up ur life for someone u dont really know...wat if it doesnt work..
  • Kalrez
    Kalrez Posts: 655 Member
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    Someone is going to have to give up their entire life for the other. Pretty high expectations, right there.
    People move all the time.

    It's different when you have to uproot your entire life for the sake of a relationship. Tough call, I say.

    For me, the decision to leave everything and move was pretty easy.

    My BF and I met on World of Warcraft back in Oct '07. In March '08, we started talking pretty seriously. Neither of us set out to find love in a video game, but it just happened. We talked every day. We would play the game together for a few hours while talking via ventrillo (like Skype), then we'd call each other and talk on the phone for a few more hours. It really let us get to know one another without the akwardness of "are we having sex tonight? what should I wear?" I found that starting a relationship this way let me be a lot more open and upfront about who I am and what I want out of life.

    We first met in person in August '08. We spent about a week together. After I went home, we would try to get together once a month or so. It was a lot of driving back and forth, but it was very much worth it. I moved to Ohio in July '09 and have been here ever since.

    I was working a cool, but dead-end job back in Alabama. I was on a break from school and had moved back in with my parents. I had just gotten a divorce in which I lost all my friends. I really didn't have much keeping me in Alabama. So I took the leap and moved to Ohio to be with my BF. It has turned out so much better than I could have imagined. We have a wonderful life.

    Three years and going strong :D

    All that being said, LDRs are very, very hard. It takes a lot of trust and commitment on both sides. My BF and I had a few spats about hanging out with opposite-sex friends in certain situations. But I really think that is a normal part of relationships. It's just harder when you can't be there in person. It's hard to know that your SO is hurting or is sick but you can't be there to hold them.

    I had another BF who lived in-state a few hours away. That turned out terribly. It's all a matter of who your SO is.

    Good luck to you. Some of the best advice I've ever gotten is to follow your heart - it'll never steer you wrong.
  • Kalrez
    Kalrez Posts: 655 Member
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    Oh and the moving thing thats a leap of faith seriously... Cause ur giving up ur life for someone u dont really know...wat if it doesnt work..

    If it doesn't work, you move back home and go back to your old life. It's not that difficult lol
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    I guess I would try it....but my ex-bf and met in high school. We both went to different colleges and it became a long distance relationship (which means it was challenging) ... Lol but that's all over with now... But I am open to the idea still..
  • Bigtime078
    Bigtime078 Posts: 17
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    I met my wife via the internet, and we lived in DIFFERENT COUNTRIES at the time. I was in Germany, and she was in Kansas. I flew to Kansa to see her after we knew each other for about 3 months, and 3 months after that I married her. We are coming up on 11 years this February!
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    I met my wife via the internet, and we lived in DIFFERENT COUNTRIES at the time. I was in Germany, and she was in Kansas. I flew to Kansa to see her after we knew each other for about 3 months, and 3 months after that I married her. We are coming up on 11 years this February!

    See thats a testimony!!
  • panyg
    panyg Posts: 597 Member
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    My 1st love was a LDR. I'm in London, England and she was in Toronto, Canada. We valued our time togther but it was so hard being so far apart.

    If she was in the same country, I'm sure we would still be together now.

    LDR do work, as long as one of you is prepared to relocate. But leaving your friends and family to start a new life somewhere else isn't easy.
  • childofbodom123
    childofbodom123 Posts: 175 Member
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    Well personally, me and my fiance actually started talking on a forum, realised we had quite a lot in common and talked for a few month and decided to meet up (We lived 370 miles apart) We met and the rest is history. Been together 3 and a half years and live together, i proposed christmas before last and she said yes :smile: So if the feelings right and you trust in who you are meeting and know them well enough then there is no problems :-)
  • danger_kitteh
    danger_kitteh Posts: 301 Member
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    Did an international (US/Canada) long distance relationship for 8 months. I would take the train from Detroit to Ottawa every other weekend or so, a few week long visits here and there. I moved to Ottawa in May 2001, engaged Nov01, married April02. it was hard leaving everything and everyone I knew behind and going through immigration but it was worth it.
  • NicolioRussell
    NicolioRussell Posts: 273
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    I met my husband online a couple years ago. I think online relationships are great because you can really talk to a person when there isn't sexual tension, etc.

    as for LDR...I hate them.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
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    I met my husband online a couple years ago. I think online relationships are great because you can really talk to a person when there isn't sexual tension, etc.

    as for LDR...I hate them.

    there is sexual tension in relationships started online, believe you me!
  • KayteeBear
    KayteeBear Posts: 1,040 Member
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    A long distance relationship can work...as long as there's a light to the end of the tunnel. If you end up getting into a relationship with somebody in a different state or province and neither of you have plans to move in the next 5 or 10 years then that would make it very difficult because it means you might never have anything other than a long distance relationship.

    Anyway, I met my boyfriend online in 2006, met him almost exactly a year later, we lived 2.5 hours apart. He came to visit me every second weekend. I graduated highschool went for one year of college. We were only 1.5 hours apart then and once I finished that I moved in with him. Now we have been blissfully living together for 6 months. :)

    If you want a long distance relationship to work you need...to have a light at the end of the tunnel...and lots of trust....and lots of communication. :)
  • gmann1973
    gmann1973 Posts: 247
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    well I have a bit of a personal stake in this so I say when you are all that man can think of, when you spend the day texing back and forth, when you are still up past 3 am in the morning on the phone with each other and 2 hours later he has to get up to start his day. when you dream of him and him of you...... well I think its worth a try. Sometimes the best things in life are the ones we have to work for. I know it wont be easy. but I know you are what that man wants I know you are what he needs. you make him smile. no matter how bad of a day he is having the sound of your voice turns it around, to him you are beautiful, all u have to do is smile and he melts. U make a strong man weak. but..... like I said....... I have a personal stake in this
  • erzille
    erzille Posts: 524 Member
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    You need to trust each other...it can work. I have been married 14 years..did not meet my hubbie on MFP, but I met online in a chat room. I lived in Rhode Island and moved to Alabama to be with him. We "dated" 1 year before we were married. :happy: He prosposed to me before we met in person.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    well I have a bit of a personal stake in this so I say when you are all that man can think of, when you spend the day texing back and forth, when you are still up past 3 am in the morning on the phone with each other and 2 hours later he has to get up to start his day. when you dream of him and him of you...... well I think its worth a try. Sometimes the best things in life are the ones we have to work for. I know it wont be easy. but I know you are what that man wants I know you are what he needs. you make him smile. no matter how bad of a day he is having the sound of your voice turns it around, to him you are beautiful, all u have to do is smile and he melts. U make a strong man weak. but..... like I said....... I have a personal stake in this
    That was beautiful. :)

    LDR can work. In some ways they are harder than regular relationships. In other ways they are actually easier. I met my hubby 22 years ago. We weren't a LDR until nearly a decade later. He was activated with the Nat. Guard and sent to Iraq in 2003. He was gone for 14 months. The distance actually saved our marriage. We'd been going through some rough times but having him so far away allowed me the time I needed to think without having to deal with him every day. Our relationship was MUCH stronger after he got home than it had been before. He also went to Kuwait in 06 for 18 months. Again, it was tough but you do what you have to do. I love him and he loves me. The distance sucked but it really does make you talk with each other more instead of falling into the same pattern that a lot of couples do where they come home from work, grunt a bit at each other, eat, watch TV, then off to bed.

    Right now my hubby is on his way home from being in Afghanistan since Feb. The absences suck but the reunion is almost worth it. We've been married 18 years and I'm as giddy to see him as I was the day we got married.

    It doesn't matter if it's a LDR or a close relationship. All that really matters is how you feel about each other.

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