Need Opinions....

2

Replies

  • LaPistolaSexola
    LaPistolaSexola Posts: 243 Member
    No kids... 100% IMHO... CHANGE IT BACK!
    this.
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
    I would change it back...

    I made her change it back... lol she wasn't holding on to my family name... harsh? lol
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
    I say change it back and be your own person. In regards to what the others said about children, I purposely gave my girls both last names, even though I never married their dad so there was no question whatsoever, and I wouldn't feel obligated to change anything. Now, except for legal documents, they have chosen to only use my name.

    My friend's aunt and uncle gave one of their kids his last name, and the other one her last name. I think that's more confusing than giving all your kids more names :)
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    I wish my brother could have gotten his ex to change her maiden name back. Nothing like seeing your last name in the paper for manufacturing meth!
  • bethdris
    bethdris Posts: 1,090 Member
    Even if you did have kids, quite frankly I'd probably change it back. Without kids..no question...change it back. It cuts the ties to him.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    My mom has been divorced 5 times, and always kept the last name of her most recent ex.

    So there ya go, CHANGE IT BACK!!
  • LittleFootHafner
    LittleFootHafner Posts: 302
    So sorry to hear Jen! ;(

    I would definitely say to go back to your maiden name...
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    If you're going to change it, change it to something cool like... McStabby or something.
  • WarriorMom2012
    WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
    I wish my brother could have gotten his ex to change her maiden name back. Nothing like seeing your last name in the paper for manufacturing meth!

    OMG. I had the same situation only in reverse. I kept my ex-husband's last name for the sake of the kids. His sister was a crack head and a *kitten*. I was carded by a bouncer in a club one night and he asked me "you any relation to so and so". I wanted to melt into the carpet.

    Change it back Jen!!
  • vtempes
    vtempes Posts: 47
    Change it back. I agree with your lawyer--if you're ready to leave him behind and move on, then do it with your own name.

    I completely agree with this!!!
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    If you're going to change it, change it to something cool like... McStabby or something.

    I was starting to wonder if I was the only one thinking this. If I were to divorce, I wouldn't want my dad's name either so I would change my last name to something awesome.
  • glockster972
    glockster972 Posts: 704 Member
    I would change it back...

    I made her change it back... lol she wasn't holding on to my family name... harsh? lol

    Not harsh at all. I asked my ex to change hers back to maiden name also.
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
    I changed my name back, it was a small hassle to change my IDs but nothing that needs to be done overnight. Honestly, its not like you went out and changed every ID in one day when you got married. The bulk of the drama is the actual divorce.
  • KnottyJen
    KnottyJen Posts: 1,070 Member
    Thank you all for your opinions and input. I was already leaning this way, but wanted to see what others thought. :-)
  • Peque1130deleted
    Peque1130deleted Posts: 309
    Change it back...I did, it took me less than a week! I got my divorce papers and the next day I went to the S.S office and the DMV the day after that. I don't hate the guy either, and there was no kids...but I am no longer married so no need to keep the married name...
  • Nikki_is_Knotty
    Nikki_is_Knotty Posts: 248 Member
    I would suggest taking your maiden name back. I did when I got divorced and it was definitely the right decision. It may be a hell of a lot of work but worth it! And my current bf knew my ex and he likes it better that I am back to my maiden name!
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    Thank you all for your opinions and input. I was already leaning this way, but wanted to see what others thought. :-)

    Sweet, so are you changing it to McAwesomesauce? Or some other equally Mcgreat name?
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
    If I were to divorce, I'd keep my married name as I've established myself in my career with this name - and we have children together (I know you said you didn't). I work with a woman who went back to her maiden name...and now when she sees her old customers they don't recognize her name, she always has to tell them "I used to be Jane Doe, I divorced" ... that's JMO tho.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    Do you have children?

    I'm keeping my married name unless I get remarried, just because it will cause less confusion for the kids.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Also, I've been divorced from my ex for like ... four years now... and I still have my married name DL. I never got around to getting a new license, and I had a couple of accounts I didn't get around to changing back .. so some stuff is still in married name, anything not-legal-based is in maiden .. and now I'm getting remarried, and want to take my new H's name, so I'm not even going to worry about everything all over the place until then. LOL ..


    And I don't look at married/maiden names as a feminist thing - I just think that becoming partners with someone means you make a partnership out of it. I have friends whose husbands took THEIR last names. If my H wanted to take mine, I'd totally be cool with that .. but either way, we're going to be The Morrisons together.
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
    From another perspective, I got married a year ago and originally I was going to change my last name to his. I had never considered any other option. A co-worker made the comment that she really liked my last name and it made me think hey I do too (my maiden name is Paris). I got married in August of 2010 and didn't do anything about my name until January 2011 because I struggled over the decision. It was like I was in junior high again and I kept writing my name over and over in the different versions. I ended up hyphenating. I realized that my last name is part of who I am. My husband didn't care if I changed my name, kept my maiden name or hyphenated. He said it was totally my decision. I ended up going to my brother for his opinion and told him I was trying to decide if I should change to my married name or hyphenate. He asked what my husband thought and when I said he didn't care my brother's response was "hyphenate!" I ended up doing just that for the reasons your lawyer stated. My last name is me. It's what I grew up with, what I built my career on, and I wanted to still be able to identify myself with my last name. So now my last name is Paris-Vogt (pronounced vote), I've updated my name to that at work but my work email still only has Paris, my college diploma has my married name, and I go by my married name everywhere but I still get to identify with who I am in both my past and future. Your name is YOU. I say change it!
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
    The only reason I would ever keep my married name in the event of divorce is because I'd want to have the same last name as my kids. Otherwise I'd change to back.
  • ElementalMoe
    ElementalMoe Posts: 186 Member
    I'm divorced, and I have kids. I neither went back to my maiden name (daddy issues), or kept my married name. Instead I changed it to my mother's maiden name. I's my mom's girl - It's who I am.
  • mssgirl11
    mssgirl11 Posts: 99 Member
    i was just recently divorced and kept his name...but we have a child together. but since you all dont have any kids together, i would go back to your maiden name. i thought it through with myself and would have liked to go back to my maiden name but then decided to keep the same last name as my son. i am glad you got over your fears of being alone...that takes time. i had to do the same. :-)
  • kaits108
    kaits108 Posts: 305 Member
    I went back to my maiden name, which was a hard decision because we have a son together. I hate that my son and I have different last names, but I couldn't stand keeping HIS last name. I'm SO glad I changed it, no regrets here!
  • KnottyJen
    KnottyJen Posts: 1,070 Member
    Thank you all for your opinions and input. I was already leaning this way, but wanted to see what others thought. :-)

    Sweet, so are you changing it to McAwesomesauce? Or some other equally Mcgreat name?

    McAwesomesauce sounds like a good one to me. :-)
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    But my lawyer makes a good point - my maiden name is who I am. And if I keep my married name, I'm keeping myself attached to him.
    If your maiden name is who you are, does that mean you aren't yourself right now? That's a load of crap.
  • chicagocubsfan23
    chicagocubsfan23 Posts: 186
    My mom just left my dad, and for reasons I cannot explain I am mad she isn't changing her name back to her maiden name. She's no longer a *insert dad's last name* and it makes me mad she won't change it. She claims it's for me and my brother and because she still cares about my dad. Like I said, it's probably dumb I feel that way but my mother and I don't get along well at all so that could be part of it lol.

    Anyways, if I were in your position I would change back to my maiden name.
  • coloradocuppiecake
    coloradocuppiecake Posts: 129
    Take your name back. It's a step back to yourself and who you are.
  • coloradocuppiecake
    coloradocuppiecake Posts: 129
    My mom just left my dad, and for reasons I cannot explain I am mad she isn't changing her name back to her maiden name. She's no longer a *insert dad's last name* and it makes me mad she won't change it. She claims it's for me and my brother and because she still cares about my dad. Like I said, it's probably dumb I feel that way but my mother and I don't get along well at all so that could be part of it lol.

    Anyways, if I were in your position I would change back to my maiden name.
    I think it's different if you have kids. Who wants to explain that yes, that's my mom and her name if different than mine because of blah blah blah. But it is her choice. Divorce is hard with or without kids involved. Maybe you could cut her a little slack and
    understand its hard no matter who is at fault during this time. I wish you all the best.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories