My 12 yr old daughter wants to be on MFP

catcrazy

Site rules state that you have to be over 18 so its a No to her joining up.

I'd also be concerned about her wanting to calorie count at her age, I think a much better approach would be to introduce healthy eating, and healthy choices alongside some of the crud that kids enjoy so much...say offer a half portion of chips AND a side salad with a meal.

At her age appetite should be used as a guide, growing massively at this age, restricting calories could cause some serious long term problems without her ever becoming really skinny.

If she is carrying any extra weight its far better to encourage her to move more than eat less.

sweebum

I started gaining at 12 (puberty), I wish I could have got it under control then :ohwell: That said, I would supervise it. It's important for her to learn a healthy lifestyle without being obsessive.

infamousmk

There are so many other ways to teach a young girl healthy habits (both mentally and physically) than signing them up to an adult site for counting calories.

Get her active in a team sport. Have her help plan dinners and snacks. Guide her to role models that portray healthy, happy, self confidence.

Taskcr

I would encourage her to eat healthy and stay active. I think counting calories at her age is too much, especially if she's not overweight. I love MFP but I think it's too much for a 12 year old, especially a lot of the posts on the message boards.

SO TRUE I forgot about all the message boards.. okay.. thats why I think mom shoud do it with her if anything!! But yes... I do think it would be a bit too "old" for her to do on her own.

lakegirl76

I say let her do it!! I found a paper this summer of when we went to the nutritionist when I was about her age. I only had 13 pounds to lose at the time. I wish my mom would have followed through at the time instead of me now facing having to lose 100 pounds twenty years later.

debswebby

Personally speaking, I don't think a 12 year old needs to be worrying about calories. Encourage her to eat healthy and be active and that will set her up for life.
I was put on my first diet at 5 years old. I learned the calorie content of every food before I knew my times table. I was put on slimming pills at age 11. Did all this obssessing over my weight work? Well if it did I wouldn't be here.
I went from a slightly larger than average child to a morbidly obese adult.
There is nothing wrong with teaching kids to be healthy and I applaud that but please don't encourage her on the calorie counting and diet treadmill at such a young age.

This is just my personal experience. I'm no expert by any means xx

adidrea

You could start by supplying healthy foods and snacks in the house for her to eat, or inviting her to come along with you when you exercise. I do think that this site is a little too much for a 12 year old...especially if she reads the forums- some of the stuff people say on here is definitely not for a 12 year old. Just make sure you tell her that she looks just fine and that she's beautiful and to not worry about her weight! If she eats well and exercises everything else will fall in place

EDesq

I'm a bit concerned with my kiddo. She asked me last night out of nowhere if she can join and start counting calories so she doesn't over eat (I don't think she overeats but just sometimes she's more hungry than usual probley because of growing and hormones). She is not overweight according to her Doctor but she is in the higher percentile (always has been since a baby). I told her that I would not give in to pop tarts and junk food (my bad at times!) if she was wanting to get healthy, but I didn't think that counting calories is something she needs to worry about. I'm worried that she has a low self image although she says she doesn't and that perhaps her seeing me lose weight and being on here makes her want to follow my steps. What are your thoughts?

I think it is CRAZY! If you TEACH your daughter how to eat healthily that all that is needed. How in the world can anyone tell how much a kid should eat...their activity level and metabolism is/should be high. Example: Carrying those book bags all day from class to class, running around messing with other kids, running up and down stairs, P.E.in some schools, playing, even working at the computer and homework>>>All this stuff burns calories. So imagine trying to restrict a Growing kid to 1200 Calories after having a day like above!!!

Just give them an appetite for Healthy Foods, restrict the sugary treats, sodas and chips, encourage activity.

PlunderBunneh

I second the idea of a paper diary for food tracking. I did the same about that age, (although I quickly lost interest), but it isn't a bad idea for her to get an idea of what is in the food she is choosing. However, there is a reason the site is for over 18 only. Don't let her obsess over food, but if she wants to join you in becoming more aware of the quality of her intake, don't discourage that.

kristilovescake

Counting calories at her age seems like it could be setting her up for an eating disorder later in life (or later in teens) because she would possibly start obsessing about calories and getting thin. It could also be distracting to her social/school life.

What I would do is to start focusing on the healthy aspects of eating and teaching her about vitamins, minerals, and macro nutrients instead of calories. This could be a great opportunity to teach her the importance of making healthy decisions and more about what healthy food does for the body (the purpose of protein, fiber, water, etc.)

It would also be good to start exercising with her on a small scale, maybe going for walks together, and teaching her about the importance of exercise and how it makes her stronger and healthier (not necessarily just burning calories).

But having been the chubby kid, being chubby sucks, so doing a little bit of exercise together and eating healthier so she can lose a little bit of weight would probably be good for her self esteem as long as it's slow and gradual to be healthier and not focusing on getting skinny quick.

Just my two cents, from a non-parent that hasn't been there It could be a great learning opportunity, but I don't think she should be learning about and focusing on calories at this point.

Qarol

We didn't have the internet when I was a kid. I had to settle for going with my mom to Jazzercise at age 12.

Angie80281

I don't think she needs to be on the site if she doesn't have a weight problem, because at her age she might start being obsessive about calories and such. Plenty of people stay slim throughout their lives without ever having to count calories and track their exercise. Some people need the discipline that MFP offers (which is why I'm still here after reaching my goal) but I'd hesitate to instill that need in a child. Maybe you could set up a profile for her where you could help her see the effects of certain food choices. For example, log some restaurant choices and let her see what she's "really" eating, or compare a dinner of pizza and chips to grilled chicken and veggies. It can be a great teaching tool, but I wouldn't let her join and just set her loose.

radicalreader

I would tell her that mfp is designed for adults (Their rule is over 18) because it is not safe or healthy for kids to count calories. Instead kids are supposed to focus on learning to make healthy food choices and to be physically active.

Then I would direct her to a healthy kids web site best meets her needs and goals. I know there are sites where kids can track fruits/veggies and/or exercise.

Some places to start OR just google on your own:

http://www.nourishinteractive.com/ (has printable charts to track healthy food choices)
http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/application-gallery

mommamuscles

Definitely not!!!!! I really struggled with eating disorders for about 10 years. It started when I was between the ages of 10 and 12, starting to get a little chubby as I entered puberty, and my parents endorsed me going to weight watchers with them. What I needed was to be more active and make healthier food choices, not count calories or points or whatever. My suggestion is instead to make health a family thing. Having my isssues in the past, I am very careful of the example that I am setting to my girls. Some other suggestions:
Dont buy seperate foods for you and the kids, so you can make sure that whatever they grab for a snack will be a healthy one.
Don't talk about your weight too much
Don't buy diet foods for yourself. Your actions speak louder than anything you could say to her.
Encourage her to be active and get involved in sports or go walking/running with her. Go hiking as a family and choose active things over stuff like watching movies.
I think its great you are questioning this and seeking advice, because so many parents would just jump blindly into this and say, okay, whatever. It makes me so sad to see girls dieting because I think it sets them up for a lifetime of struggling with their weight and self image and leads them to have more weight battles in the future.

mrsthomasstevens

I would just make her healthier food and allow her to play sports or just find fun physical activities to do together with her. My mother always played double dutch (jump rope) with me and my cousins and we did that for hours at a time...

VeganGal84

That's around the age that I started dieting and developing an unhealthy relationship with food and my body.

I always say that if I could go back time, starting dieting so young would be one of the things that I would change.

Unwrapping_Candy

If I read this correctly then you are her mother. It's your responsibility to keep her healthy AT LEAST until you're no longer legally obligated to do so. If you believe she has a weight issue then you should discuss it with her doctor, and should monitor her intake. You should count her calories if needed. However, if she's not overweight and there's really no medical issue at play then you need to realise your daughter may be developing body image issues like most girls do and you need to do your best to talk her through them. Be a mum, not a mate. She needs to know that she's fine the way she is, and that she's still growing and maturing. Come on! You went through this whole puberty thing before. You know how it is. Help her, and don't feed her negative body image.

Good luck.

cmriverside

Why do you want to teach your child to lie about her age?


Great. More kids on the forums to deal with.

Contrarian

A lot of people need to read the terms and conditions of this site. It has been mentioned by a few people but some posters are still saying the child should be allowed to join.

YOU MUST BE AT LEAST 18 TO JOIN MFP.

BeckyRayJohnson

as a mother and grandmother I would redirect her desire to journal and focus on the choices. My two grandchldren ages 9 and 10 have been hearing a lot about healthy choices and the food pyramid at school and keep looking at labels and such. I try to keep them on track with the pyramid and portions instead of calories. They ask about the calorie count but I tell them that is for when you need gain or lose and they are healthy. No extra weight on either of them. Tracking is wonderful. You could set her up a journal in your documents instead. Celebrate when she is making good choices. It could be a great relationship tool. But the sight is not for kids in my honest opinion. And like someone else mentioned it could focus her too much on weight issues instead.

PrincessEliNa

Can I just share a story?
I work at a Jr. High and yesterday, there was a little adorable 13 year old, who is a bit chubby, and was wearing a skirt that was too short, so I had to have her change into some pants.
As we were walking to my office, some kids yelled,

"Make her change, that skirt is too short!'
"Yeah, she shouldn't wear that she's FAT and UGLY"

It broke my heart. Kids are mean. They say mean things, and don't understand that those types of comments stay with a person.
If being on MFP helps your daughter feel healthy, in control of her weight, and more confident because of those things, I say, why not?

SunLove8

I agree, I think 12 years is way too young to be on MFP. I'm asking for opinions about how to go about talking to her about nutrition without because I'm concerned that she thinks she is overweight.

LaDiablesse

Did you ask her why she approached you with wanting to make sure she doesn't overeat? Could have been one simple thing that another kid said to her at school or somewhere that makes her think she does. I agree it's a good opportunity to teach her how to choose healthy foods & get active, but joining MFP seems a bit much to me.

VeganGal84

Tell her that she's awesome and that her body is exactly what it's supposed to be like. And let her eat what she wants when she wants it, with a gentle focus on nutrition.

I don't have kids, but this is my plan for when/if I ever do. Let them listen to their hunger signals and PLAY for exercise, never worry about weight.

SunLove8

Why do you want to teach your child to lie about her age?


Great. More kids on the forums to deal with.

Did I say I wanted to teach my child to lie about her age? NO, I did not. Is she on MFP or ever will be at this age? NO, she will not be. You obviously missed my point and decided to not continue reading my concern and decided to be rude. I know adolescents with more manners than you.

tiggerbounce411

If she wants to do it to make like mom and such, let her! You supervise what she is doing so there is no harm in her learning what reasonable portions of food are at a young age and teaching her how to make healthy food instead. I wish this had been an option as a child/young teenager to learn better food habits. Get all the junk out of the house and replace those with 100 calorie packs for snacky things. This could be helpful to her learning a healthier way of eating for adulthood. Just keep an eye that she isn't getting crazy about it because someone's kid said something mean. Introduce her to a sport or afterschool activity that is outside, or go ride bikes with her in the evening. If she feels she is overweight, address her reasons why.

Helice

Although speaking honestly:

At 12 i was on a diet, but i didnt want to calorie count because i was too busy trying to have sex and trying to buy weed..
And if she wants to calorie count, she will.
She proberlly already has an account on MFP, and shes asking you if she can so that she can add u as a friend..

SunLove8

Thank you for all the POSITIVE comments and those who actually read what I was saying without assuming things. I'm done with ever posting on MFP again. Everytime I do I get so much negative that I actually feel worse than I did before I posted. Some people need to gain some manners. Thank you again to all of those who gave a kind response and advice, I will take them to heart. I'm not posting on this anymore. Take care XO

annabananana

i would definitely say no, that would put her at a much higher risk for becoming obsessive and developing an eating disorder. that is kind of what happened to me, obviously not with this site though since it hasn't been around 6 years, and i am now 18

kmbrooks15

My daughter is also 12 (going on 25, but that's another story!). She wanted to join, too, and I told her no. First off, I wouldn't want her in the forums because of some of the innuendo and downright nastiness. However, I did tell her we would all start eating healthier as a family. I bought raw baby carrots and fruit cups for their lunchboxes instead of chips and Little Debbies. The kids carry a water bottle to school and add a Crystal Light packet to it for flavor. I bought apples for after-school snacks. I let her do some strength training (with VERY light weights or a resistance band); she needs this for horseback riding anyway. When I start couch-to-5K after we straighten out my stupid gallbladder, I will let her do it with me. So we're focusing more on just a healthy lifestyle than on her counting calories. She's not scrawny, but she is slim and has a very appropriate figure for a 12 year old girl. Her biological mother is overweight, though (she's adopted), so she does have a hereditary tendency, making it wise to start some healthy habits now. Of course, she says all this about wanting to eat healthy, and in the next breath, she's asking for Halloween candy! So who knows?! You do want to be cautious, though, because obsessing about food and weight at such a young age could be a precursor to an eating disorder; that's why I told her no to MFP--she doesn't need to obsess about calories.