You know what aggravates me?

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ahmpierce1
ahmpierce1 Posts: 221 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
When other people feel like they have a right to comment on how much weight they think you should lose.

I was just in the office kitchen making lunch when a co-worker asked how my diet was going, I said so far so good and that I was down around ten pounds...then, she asks me how much weight I plan to lose....when I said 36 she goes "oooo, are you sure? you dont wanna be TOO skinny. I don't think you should lose that much...."

Meanwhile, losing 36 pounds would NOT make me underweight, or even close. I would be in normal range for my height. FURTHER, this is coming from someone who is STICK thin and when nuts on a diet when she was getting married last year. But most irritating is, THIS IS NOT YOUR BODY! No one asked you for your opinion.
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Replies

  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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    I'm aggravated by bee stings.
  • csue1970
    csue1970 Posts: 17 Member
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    I had a boss that told me the same thing. I shrugged it off because you're right, it is YOUR body and no one should decide your ultimate goal but YOU.

    Maybe she's jealous and doesn't want you to look better than her?? Just sayin.

    Keep your chin up and reach the goal YOU are comfortable with!!
  • MeechoXD
    MeechoXD Posts: 27
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    I think that a lot of people overestimate how different you will look in 10, 20, 30, or 50 pound loss. When I tell people I still have another 30 pounds to lose before I am at my goal, they say that's much too skinny..but it's not, they just perceive it to be a huge number. I think it is especially "deceiving" to others when you carry your weight well and don't look the weight you are at currently.

    But I totally agree with you, people should not tell you things like that because then you're less likely to talk about it with them in the future. They should just congratulate you on your progress and encourage you to keep up the good work, instead of suddenly turning it around and making you out to be the other end of the spectrum..
  • tpycha126
    tpycha126 Posts: 217 Member
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    I just try to tell people I'm not sure how much, I'll know when I get there.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    I used to have the same exact problem at my last job. I'm "skinny fat" and used to work with two women over 250lbs. They would constantly tell me how I should/shouldn't be eating. Or how I need to "shut up" about when someone asks me if I want something. "you're just skinny rain, shut up." "you're only eating a banana and a Greek yogurt for breakfast? UH that's not a breakfast that's a SNACK".

    Honestly I got fed up with it. I have a née job and I purposely don't say ANYthing to ANYone about how I eat and choose to live. None of their damned business anyway!

    But since you're stuck there I would just say "I appreciate your concern for my lifestyle, but I think I'm going to get as healthy as I want."
  • melbasc
    melbasc Posts: 32 Member
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    Amen, Amen.....and Amen! Preach on, I totally relate.
  • Lemonaiding
    Lemonaiding Posts: 78 Member
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    When other people feel like they have a right to comment on how much weight they think you should lose.

    I was just in the office kitchen making lunch when a co-worker asked how my diet was going, I said so far so good and that I was down around ten pounds...then, she asks me how much weight I plan to lose....when I said 36 she goes "oooo, are you sure? you dont wanna be TOO skinny. I don't think you should lose that much...."

    Meanwhile, losing 36 pounds would NOT make me underweight, or even close. I would be in normal range for my height. FURTHER, this is coming from someone who is STICK thin and when nuts on a diet when she was getting married last year. But most irritating is, THIS IS NOT YOUR BODY! No one asked you for your opinion.

    I'm 5'6.5" and 168 pounds. When I tell people I want to lose 47 more (96 gone already) they take offense like I am somehow insulting them. Or they try telling me I should only get down to 140 pounds. People who don't have a healthy lifestyle try to tell me what to do with my own. I have been calorie counting for almost 9 months now. I think I have an idea as to where I can be and still be healthy. Bah hum buggers.
  • JennW130
    JennW130 Posts: 460 Member
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    . "you're just skinny rain, shut up." "you're only eating a banana and a Greek yogurt for breakfast? UH that's not a breakfast that's a SNACK".

    "
    maybe thats why they're 250 and your not. just sayin.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
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    I just try to tell people I'm not sure how much, I'll know when I get there.

    I agree that vagueness is probably best. And throw your doctor under the bus if you can. "We'll see. I see my doctor regularly, and he says 'keep up the good work'. He'll tell me when I've lost enough..."
    Otherwise, there is no way you will get everyone to mind their own business. Especially, I think some people really do believe they are complimenting you when they say they don't think you need to lose that much.
  • Maria_Goose
    Maria_Goose Posts: 247
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    She probably didn't mean it that way. I'm sure she was just complimenting you.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    LOL I bet she was overweight too.
  • Puffins1958
    Puffins1958 Posts: 614 Member
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    I just try to tell people I'm not sure how much, I'll know when I get there.
    That's a GREAT comeback, I'll have to remember this one :)
  • Aegelis
    Aegelis Posts: 237 Member
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    I think that a lot of people overestimate how different you will look in 10, 20, 30, or 50 pound loss. When I tell people I still have another 30 pounds to lose before I am at my goal, they say that's much too skinny..but it's not, they just perceive it to be a huge number. I think it is especially "deceiving" to others when you carry your weight well and don't look the weight you are at currently.

    Well said. Additionally some people are earnestly concerned with their fellow person going to extremes and harming themselves. Then again, some people feel the need to control others because trying to grapple with their own life is too much of a mess.
  • madisonsteelex
    madisonsteelex Posts: 295
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    In february when I told my family I planned to lose 40 lbs, they all FREAKED and said that was way too much and lalala
    one aunt even thought I only weighed 125 when I was actually 165!
    I said that at the moment my goal was 40 lbs and I'll decide ultimately when I got closer. I've lost 29.8 lbs and am still aiming for that last 10
    I think I'm the only person who gets to judge what I want to look like and I'm not going to stop until I am HAPPY with my body
  • ahmpierce1
    ahmpierce1 Posts: 221 Member
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    I just try to tell people I'm not sure how much, I'll know when I get there.
    That's a GREAT comeback, I'll have to remember this one :)

    Agreed, this is my new plan of attack! :)
  • Aegelis
    Aegelis Posts: 237 Member
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    I just try to tell people I'm not sure how much, I'll know when I get there.

    I say "I'm done with the scale, now I'm going by the mirror".
  • bcampbell54
    bcampbell54 Posts: 932 Member
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    Take it for what it is, a sort of back-handed compliment, and expression of caring. They're saying you look so thin now, and that they are concerned that you not get unhealthy.
    On the other hand, I might tell Leann Rimes to go ahead and have a cheeseburger or two...
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    Perhaps your next answer should be, "When I feel I'm at the right weight for me." Thus, not giving a quantitative amount and it's coupled with a subtle comment about this being about you and your goals.

    You'll still get unsolicited advice, though. It's human nature.
  • baypathgradLyns
    baypathgradLyns Posts: 639 Member
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    A few people @ my job have told me I need to stop losing weight....sigh. when I first started losing weight, my CFO (who was rarely around at the time) came over to me and told me he was concerned about me and that I always looked tired like I was sick or something (mind you I started on MFP at 263 lbs, so its not like I was skin & bones when he said this to me)...plus he told other people at work he was concerned about me, and they came to me and told me about it.

    I am not even NEAR skinny, but people keep calling me "slim" "skinny" etc...irritates me sometimes...(as I am pretty much friggin 200 lbs still) and it isn't said in a nice way either, theres always this negative tone to it...pretty much the only time I don't get irritated is when my bestie calls me a "twig" because I know she is just trying to be nice about it...

    I almost feel like some people want to put a glass ceiling on my weight loss success...I know that sounds crazy, but I feel like that sometimes.
  • rocketpants
    rocketpants Posts: 419 Member
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    I get that constantly. I think it stems from one of these things

    So many people are overweight nowadays that a healthy weight looks skinny / scrawny to many. It is especially shocking if those people are used to you as "fat"

    People who have problems with weight don't want to see you succeed and get "skinner" than them because they feel it highlights their issue

    It takes a tremendous amount of focus and dedication to loose significant weight. People misinterpret this for an unhealthy obsession with body image.

    They are just trying to be nice, and are giving you an OUT by telling you your are acceptable and loveable at your current weight

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