ladies: how can we compliment without it being creepy?

Uerzer

none of those sound creepy. now, "i want to lick your abs" or "your perfume makes me hungry" etc...crossing the line.

Unless it smells like chocolate...and then it would be understandable.

That's exactly what i was thinking! It must be understandable in those occasions!!

Secret_Agent_007

For instance: A message saying "You sure do got a pretty mouth" is not the way to go when complimenting a lady. Neither is it impressive because you've screwed the whole line up from the movie douche!

.....based on true events :laugh:

LMFAO ROTF PMP.

SyntonicGarden

I'm thinking that the examples you gave are fine. The creepiness factor comes in when there's too much unwarranted attention. If you were to comment on EVERYTHING someone posts, that's creepy. If you send unsolicited email again and again to someone, that's creepy. Using words or expressions that might be too personal (or might best be used to describe food) with someone you aren't familiar with (sexy, hot, lucious, mouthwatering, decadent, etc.), is creepy. Saying "Nice job! Your hard work's paying off!" is perfectly ok in my book.

As for the perfume in Target, I think you're ok with that too. I might tell a stranger that his aftershave smells nice ("What cologne are you wearing? I like the way it smells!" or "Your cologne smells really good!") or tell them that they look sharp today ("Hey Mike! That's a good color on you! Looking sharp, man, looking sharp!") I just leave out any adjectives that might suggest that I'm looking for more ("Damn, Jack! Those jeans! Mmmmm... What are you smuggling in there?" <--- Creeeepy).

If you're giving a sincere compliment and not pursuing a conversation then hopefully, you're doing nothing more than boosting someone's ego just a tad. If you are looking for more and they're looking for more, I'm sure they'll try to stoke the conversation. Otherwise, I say go for it and say something nice. If people didn't want the compliments and reassurance, they probably wouldn't have posted the pictures on a semi-public website.

IronmanPanda

So calling you sugar tits is out then? :grumble:

Hellbent_Heidi

I had two rather awkwardly delivered compliments from random guys at my gym (people I've seen there in the mornings for years, but never talked to). Both of them wanted to compliment my recent weight loss and body changes, and I think they were both worried about it coming off creepy,...but it was actually very nice. I've also had a few guys at work say things, or try to say things without being accused of sexual harrassment. I suppose its not easy being a guy these days...because women come right up and holler "OMG..your butt is so much smaller now" and everyone laughs and smiles...but if its a man, it can be seriously uncomfortable.

I guess its all the approach and how its said, but there's always the risk of complimenting a woman who is overly sensitive too.

dbecker70

none of those sound creepy. now, "i want to lick your abs" or "your perfume makes me hungry" etc...crossing the line.

^^^^ This!

doobabe

I had two rather awkwardly delivered compliments from random guys at my gym (people I've seen there in the mornings for years, but never talked to). Both of them wanted to compliment my recent weight loss and body changes, and I think they were both worried about it coming off creepy,...but it was actually very nice. I've also had a few guys at work say things, or try to say things without being accused of sexual harrassment. I suppose its not easy being a guy these days...because women come right up and holler "OMG..your butt is so much smaller now" and everyone laughs and smiles...but if its a man, it can be seriously uncomfortable.

I guess its all the approach and how its said, but there's always the risk of complimenting a woman who is overly sensitive too.

LOL ^^ This

rocketpants

You've got a purty mouth!!

JustEllieK

none of those sound creepy. now, "i want to lick your abs" or "your perfume makes me hungry" etc...crossing the line.

Or i just want to touch them...WTF!

King_Bee

Just don't lick your lips while you're paying the compliment

Unless you look like LL Cool J without a shirt.

Hell the thought even makes me tingle...

auntdeedee87

In person, deliver the compliment but don't linger. That's weird. Say it, smile, and once she reacts, focus your attention elsewhere. Unless of course she gives you a really good response.


One day I was coming out of the store with my niece, walking to my car. This (older, much older-- yikes.) man that was sitting in his SUV with his window down, said 'Excuse me, could I just tell you something?' I braced myself to be annoyed or to thank him for telling me how cute my niece is.

Instead he said 'I think you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I just wanted to tell you that.' I, shocked, said thank you and he smiled, waved, and drove off.

Had he stuck around and tried to chat it would have been CREEPY. But the way he did it was perfectly fine. I was amused, flattered, and not at all grossed out.

SunshineKisses_2012

I was actually complimented by another female last night on how many calories I burned on the elliptical (733) at the gym. Not someone I know, she just happened to look over when I was wiping down the machine and she said, "Did you just do that?" I smiled and said yes and she said, "Wow! That's awesome! I wish I could do that!"

The fact that this woman was smaller than me made me feel like a bad *kitten*.

I compliment people on a daily basis, whether it is their perfume/cologne, or clothes or something they did that I noticed and thought was nice/sweet. Male, female....really it doesn't matter. I think there are just too many people out there that need a positive compliment to turn their day around and not enough people are willing to open their mouths and say something. I know where my heart is when I make compliments and my words follow. Not creepy and totally acceptable.

MelMoly

i think you could say any of those listed, and not even register on my creep-o-meter. i tend to like dirty comments, and take them as compliments, though even with that, it's easy to cross the line. i always send an email, warning that i like to talk dirty, that i cross some lines, and that i occasionally talk about sex. almost everyone is cool with it, and they let me know not to censor on their behalf. but, i got a message back from one guy saying he wanted to see me naked, and that he was stroking to my pics. THAT crosses even my line!

so don't say that, k? thanks.

I have your pic saved...and i always talk dirty to you cus you are my sexy white chocolate

Carl01

I don't like compliments...

It is little things like this that make you so wonderful.



On a side note only twice have I sent a PM paying a lady not on my friends list an honest compliment and both times prefaced it with a disclaimer that it was not a come on or being creepy.
I don`t know that I would even do that now after certain events of the last few months with some creepy former members here.
Kind of sad but how life is.

AppleADayAmber

I only get offensive if a guy says something like " hey sexy, nice butt" along those lines lol.. Thats pushing it!! But what u said is fine and any woman who gets offended by that is probably just conceited!

maab_connor

none of those sound creepy. now, "i want to lick your abs" or "your perfume makes me hungry" etc...crossing the line.

so... i'm NOT supposed to tell random ppl that i want to lick their abs? b/c i could name historical moments when announcing to someone that i wanted to lick a usually-non-erogenous area of their body has paid off. ... .. usually that happens in a bar. that might have something to do with it.

odusgolp

Dude, I take all compliments sent my way with a smile and a thank you and a little self-deprecating humor, b/c that's just how I roll.

However, I will say there are two compliments I've received in the last two days that meant much more than the usual:

1. I admire your integrity and honesty.
2. I admire your strong personality.

That's always a bit more fantastic than "You have an amazing rack." Although, my rack is amazing - and HILARIOUS.

mrmarius

just pay the compliment. if she can't accept it that's her problem

ItsCasey

If you're complimenting a woman on a certain part of her body, like her abs, I think it's better to make it clear that you admire the hard work she has put in and that you're not just thinking she's hot. So I would say something like "Your abs look great. What kind of strength training are you doing?" You're complimenting her, but you're also indicating that you understand she didn't get abs like that by accident and, particularly on MFP, it shows that you are interested in her approach to fitness and not just what her body looks like in a photo.

Complimenting a woman in a random public place can be tricky. I like paying men compliments, whether it's on their appearance, their manners, whatever. And I do it to men of all ages, so it's not a method of flirting with me. I just enjoy making someone feel good about himself. Because that's how I view compliments, I don't get all judgy about a man who compliments me. I take it for what it is. But some women assume, oftentime based on their personal experiences, that men really only pay women compliments to flirt. So they get uneasy about it if they're not open to flirting.

MFPAddict

If I'm inline behind someone at Target and I notice their perfume, can I say, "I like your perfume"?

This is one I struggle with. I steer clear of the physical appearance compliments in the real world unless I know the person well enough to where the intentions won't be misinterpreted.

I also shy away from the perfurme compliments, but there are times it is so intoxicating I want to know what it is. I was having dinner with my daughter a couple weeks ago and the perfume of the waitress was amazing. I wanted to ask but I didn't.

mikajoanow

I think if you said that, and they took it the wrong way, that is on them. I think women can easily spot the creepy guy, and if its not obvious right away, it usually is sooner (rather than later). What you said does not sound creepy.

NiciS72

Personally I like compliments. Now when I get a PM from some dude saying I saw you on the forum and you're hot THAT'S creepy! If the guy has not pics or info on his profile that is also a clue that he's most likely a creeper. If I've seen him post a lot on the boards then I generally know what kind of guy he is and don't take offense.

I was NOT offended the other day when a dude responded about my underwear purchase NSV. I thought it was cool!

ThePhoenixRose

i think you could say any of those listed, and not even register on my creep-o-meter. i tend to like dirty comments, and take them as compliments, though even with that, it's easy to cross the line. i always send an email, warning that i like to talk dirty, that i cross some lines, and that i occasionally talk about sex. almost everyone is cool with it, and they let me know not to censor on their behalf. but, i got a message back from one guy saying he wanted to see me naked, and that he was stroking to my pics. THAT crosses even my line!

so don't say that, k? thanks.

I have your pic saved...and i always talk dirty to you cus you are my sexy white chocolate

but i like it when you do it, so that's not creepy. seriously, there are a few who can talk to me like that. you are one! he was not. this was our first ever interaction!!! ew!

Wingmistress

I often wonder this... both on sites like this one (where there are a lot of attractive people showing off attractive bodies) and just in every day life. As a guy, how can I give a woman a compliment without it being creepy or a come-on or whatever else.

Say I see a profile pic of someone showing off their abs... can I send them a simple message saying "Hey, great abs!" or "wow, nice abs... your hard work is really paying off!"

If I'm inline behind someone at Target and I notice their perfume, can I say, "I like your perfume"?

Is there even such a thing as an innocent compliment any more?

I see nothing wrong with your compliments. People who compliment are branded as creepy because of others who THINK this is a form of compliment. "Wow, you're hot. The things I would like to do with you..", etc. People immediately brand the decent as creepy.

Compliment away!!!

Secret_Agent_007

I have your pic saved...and i always talk dirty to you cus you are my sexy white chocolate

Wow! Thats out there. But it still wouldn't bother me.

Wingmistress

If I'm inline behind someone at Target and I notice their perfume, can I say, "I like your perfume"?

This is one I struggle with. I steer clear of the physical appearance compliments in the real world unless I know the person well enough to where the intentions won't be misinterpreted.

I also shy away from the perfurme compliments, but there are times it is so intoxicating I want to know what it is. I was having dinner with my daughter a couple weeks ago and the perfume of the waitress was amazing. I wanted to ask but I didn't.

You should have asked. If she showed any sort of "offense" to a nice compliment, you just follow up with "my wife would love that". People are way too uptight about this stuff.

SyntonicGarden

So calling you >> sugar tits << is out then? :grumble:

That's actually how I sign my holiday cards....

SinIsIn

Personally I like compliments. Now when I get a PM from some dude saying I saw you on the forum and you're hot THAT'S creepy! If the guy has not pics or info on his profile that is also a clue that he's most likely a creeper. If I've seen him post a lot on the boards then I generally know what kind of guy he is and don't take offense.

I was NOT offended the other day when a dude responded about my underwear purchase NSV. I thought it was cool!

THIS!
Also.. i always think it's shady when people feel the need to message said compliments...but that's just me.

Carl01

As a public service reminder...if you are a midget it is probably a bad idea to walk up to a lady and tell her that her hair smells nice.

toots99

I often wonder this... both on sites like this one (where there are a lot of attractive people showing off attractive bodies) and just in every day life. As a guy, how can I give a woman a compliment without it being creepy or a come-on or whatever else.

Say I see a profile pic of someone showing off their abs... can I send them a simple message saying "Hey, great abs!" or "wow, nice abs... your hard work is really paying off!"

If I'm inline behind someone at Target and I notice their perfume, can I say, "I like your perfume"?

Is there even such a thing as an innocent compliment any more?

I don't think that's creepy at all. It's all in how you say it. If you look all leery and were like "I like your perfuuuummmmee..." That would be yucky. Otherwise, keep it nice and simple.