BREAKUPS, how do YOU deal with them?

xchinad0ll
xchinad0ll Posts: 101 Member
in Motivation and Support
...without eating everything in your gosh darn pantry lol...
«13

Replies

  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,079 Member
    cry workout so much cant function destroy anything tht reminds me of the person lol
  • xchinad0ll
    xchinad0ll Posts: 101 Member
    cry workout so much cant function destroy anything tht reminds me of the person lol

    LOL! i like that =P
  • Deathwithab
    Deathwithab Posts: 462 Member
    how weird , i just got dumped and then found this thred on most recent ... right now just crying and trying not to punch things / people
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,079 Member
    cry workout so much cant function destroy anything tht reminds me of the person lol

    LOL! i like that =P
    im crazy tho so cant guarantee its gud advice lol
  • xchinad0ll
    xchinad0ll Posts: 101 Member
    how weird , i just got dumped and then found this thred on most recent ... right now just crying and trying not to punch things / people

    :( aww im so sorry, im thinking my relationship may be ending very soon so i wanted to prepare i guess...if you can even prepare...hang in there =[
  • xchinad0ll
    xchinad0ll Posts: 101 Member
    cry workout so much cant function destroy anything tht reminds me of the person lol

    LOL! i like that =P
    im crazy tho so cant guarantee its gud advice lol

    HAHA your so funny...are you sure sweet lil shadowmommy? lol jk
  • xchinad0ll
    xchinad0ll Posts: 101 Member
    how weird , i just got dumped and then found this thred on most recent ... right now just crying and trying not to punch things / people

    i hope it wasnt for a stupid reason either..
  • yesiwillbeloosingit
    yesiwillbeloosingit Posts: 64
    cry workout so much cant function destroy anything tht reminds me of the person lol
    [/quote


    And then add a whole bunch of shopping! :) ]
  • zombiesama
    zombiesama Posts: 755 Member
    i agree with what has been said so far. destroy anything that reminds you of them and cry. but i would also add lifting or hitting my punching bag(only because i was cheated on)
  • luv4SFO
    luv4SFO Posts: 16 Member
    My last breakup was over eleven years ago, but my reaction changed my life and created the opportunity for my current relationship to happen. This my experience and suggestion, I hope it helps.

    First, accept that the break-up is not necessarily anyone's fault. Two people can care about each other, and still not work. Try not to harbor bitterness or resentment. The reality is that even if people make bad choices while they are in a relationship, that the problem is a disagreement about what is acceptable for that relationship, and two people who have different ideas. Allow those feeling to come and then go. Try to avoid hostility and negativity as much as possible.

    Once you can wrap your head around that, move to step two. Make yourself happy! Most people look to their relationship to provide a type of support for their happiness. Realize that you are fully capable of making yourself happy, and work toward that goal. Think about the things you compromised on to be in your relationship, or the things you downright lost. Think about who you would like to be, and work toward that goal.

    Use all the negativity to build the better you! Every time you are angry or hurt or sad, turn that attention to a new positive goal. Mine was going back to school. Every time I would start to feel sorry for my loss of my ex, I would go online and read class descriptions, build mock schedules, and re-create my budget for getting back to school. Redirecting the negativity into something positive allows the obsessive behavior I was used to having after a break up, to be useful and productive. Two months after the break up I was back in school, working on becoming the happier version of myself.

    This exercise also allowed me to become more emotionally self reliant. Which freed up any guy I dated from a huge burden, and allowed it to be more balanced and easy. I have been dating my darling boyfriend for almost ten years now, and could not be happier. We both agree on what is important in our relationship and the behaviors that demonstrate those values. We still argue, but rarely is it about something very serious.

    It know this is a very pragmatic solution to a very emotional process, but sometimes it's easier to focus on doing something, than it is to avoid, ignore, or deal with the emotions you are feeling.

    Good luck on your journey to happiness. I hope this helps.
  • PBJunky
    PBJunky Posts: 737 Member
    ...without eating everything in your gosh darn pantry lol...

    Brush it off and move on with my life, never again will I allow someone to break me into a million pieces.
  • queenpushycat
    queenpushycat Posts: 761 Member
    I danced.
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
    Plot revenge while running on a treadmill.
  • cairney4698
    cairney4698 Posts: 237
    You just have to try your best to move forward with your life and remember all the great things that make you who you are. Don't let anyone or anything bring you down.
  • Deathwithab
    Deathwithab Posts: 462 Member
    how weird , i just got dumped and then found this thred on most recent ... right now just crying and trying not to punch things / people

    i hope it wasnt for a stupid reason either..

    lol no we were drifting apart and i ws trying really hard this last month to make it better
    and he decided to break up and see if it would get better apart ... i feel like its my fault tho like im a bad gf
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,079 Member
    how weird , i just got dumped and then found this thred on most recent ... right now just crying and trying not to punch things / people

    i hope it wasnt for a stupid reason either..

    lol no we were drifting apart and i ws trying really hard this last month to make it better
    and he decided to break up and see if it would get better apart ... i feel like its my fault tho like im a bad gf
    awwww girl dont feel like that sometimes things just dont work out. things happen for a reason :) at least i hope so. . . all u can rele do is hope so. . . *hugs* to u and chinadoll keep ur heads up
  • jazzdspazz
    jazzdspazz Posts: 137 Member
    A pocket full of money, someone in your friend circle who is unemployed
    And go to town for a couple days
  • dutchess48
    dutchess48 Posts: 95
    I'm going through something very similar. I've been dealing with the death of a very close family member and at the same time ending a relationship with one person and trying to get an ex who was bad news to stay away for good. It's hard but in the past my reaction was always to eat and go to the club and get drunk. But this time that never even crossed my mind. instead I'm going to work it out at the gym and try to find some peace. i want to try and figure out how to be alone and happy at the same time before I jump back into something again. I've just found that my thinking is more positive because I know that my goals are attainable and maybe being healthier overall will help me find a healthy relationship.
  • dutchess48
    dutchess48 Posts: 95
    lol no we were drifting apart and i ws trying really hard this last month to make it better
    and he decided to break up and see if it would get better apart ... i feel like its my fault tho like im a bad gf

    Dont beat yourself up over it. I was the same way, mine didn't deserve me. He hurt me in ways that I never imagined someone would, and I was still trying to fix things because I though that all my failed relationships were my fault. That somehow I had been the issue, and I was right! I was the issue but not in a bad way, I was dating below my standards and allowing myself to stay in a relationship that I knew wasn't working just to have a "someone" around. One day it will just click for you like it did me and who knows he might help you see it. My guy asked me "why I was with him when there were so many guys that wanted to date me"? I thought about it and he was right! Why was I settling for less? So this time, even though I will admit I'm sad about things and how they ended, i'm not self destructing instead I'm hitting the gym and doing the 30 day shred to keep myself busy so I have time to heal.
  • phanesha15
    phanesha15 Posts: 3 Member
    Great advice Dutchess48!!! I love it

Categories