Indian Culture Weight SHAME!

patience842003

I was giving one example of experiences with culture. This board is for support. I am not prejudice, and I will not reply back to any racial, cultural smirks. I have no problem with my father-in-law. I am very respectful. My husband is loving and loves me like I am, but he does want me to be unhealthy which I haven't been. I was just interested if anyone else had similar experiences. End of story.

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

Well this is not new. Its a damn Asian thing to be criticized on your weight to match their ideal stick-thin frame (although Indians are geographically & culturally Asians but I don't exactly consider them the same as Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, Vietnamese, Filipinos, Thais etc. as far as genetics & looks are concerned because Indians are technically Caucasians) I once chatted with some Indian men & they all say that I'm too fat & that I need to lose weight but in reality I was just 64kgs. & is within the high normal of the BMI, :indifferent: . I'm medium-framed, kinda muscular type so its impossible for me to be stick thin. However I also had a boyfriend before from North-Eastern India who likes me as I am & never criticized me for my weight.

tifmarie9

People who are getting offended by her post comment should do a self check. This woman is not saying that the entire Indian Culture is like this. She is just expressing something that happened to her and her experience. She sounds far from harsh in her description, she was just seeking advice or help. She doesn't sound like she is mad at her father n law. She doesn't hate the Indian Culture now.

And many times people say something and they are just stating what they see, what is fact. They don't mean it offensively (sometimes they do but you can usually tell if they are trying to hurt you). I'm sure he wasn't trying to make you feel bad about yourself and he probably thought nothing of it after the fact. You know that you are working on the issue that he vocalized so just keep working on it and be happy! You are beautiful and well loved by your family I am sure.

magnesium0

hasnt 'weight' always been equated with prosperity in India? i believe so...

i think his concern was genuine.. but the tone was kinda harsh...

How do you discern tone over the Internet?

carolineb81

I'm married to an Indian man as well, 3 days after giving birth my mil commented that I hadnt managed to lose my baby weight yet!!

patience842003

Wow! You must have been really small because you don't look heavy at all.

CMmrsfloyd

Sometimes people are just very matter-of-fact. Sometimes they are rude. Sometimes they just have no filter. Sometimes it's a cultural thing. Who knows. I'm sorry, I know it must be very awkward to have him say something so forthright. In the future, I would just politely say something about how you appreciate his concern and that you are working toward a healthy lifestyle and weight.

Some of my family is very interesting on this topic - I will hear them comment about other people being heavy (people that aren't around) but yet they wouldn't say anything directly to me about my weight. When I knew that I was overweight and didn't even have the amount of muscle/tightness that I could see other people had (i.e. I was flabbier than the people they were talking about, maybe not bigger but definitely flabbier). It's weird. It's like the elephant in the room (no pun intended LOL) - you know it and they know it but normally people don't actually say it. Just take it all in stride and use it as motivation to work hard so they can see the results of your determination. Try not to let it get you down.

Simona38

I've found comments like this to come from people of all cultures. It doesnt matter where people are from, some just speak their minds and have no filter.

My family's Italian and they will not hesitate to tell anyone how fat they are or how skinny they are. Even skinny folks cant catch a break with them...to my family, if you're skinny, you're sick.

No matter who says it, it hurts. Keep on the track you're on. You know you're doing what you can do to get healthier and that's all that matters.

carolineb81

Wow! You must have been really small because you don't look heavy at all.

Thank you I put on 3 stone when I was pregnant! I used to be really slim before!

kittuk86

Well u can do 2 things..

1) Either tell him on his face not to be rude
2) loose some weight & show him what u made of

Creating a sensational headline & pointing to a/any culture doesn't reflect well on your culture as well..

Crowhorse

I'm not Indian but I am a minority and sorry to take the focus off you chick-a-dee but I'm more offended that you're pin pointing a specific race and culture for this offense. People tell people they're fat all the time. or stupid. or ugly. Sorry that person just happened to not be white. Would have been less offensive then?

Since everyone is busy being offended, I'm offended by this post.

This was a round about way of calling her a racist because she happens to be white. What does that say about yourself and how you view anybody that's white?

I'm sorry that the original poster was white. Maybe she should try to dye her skin to satisfy you.

Would her post be less offensive to you if she wasn't white?

That beind said, it was a CULTURAL question.

Cultural upbringing has a BIG influence on how people react to other people, and in different situations. What might be considered rude in one cultural, can be completely acceptable in another.

While human nature is the same if you strip away all the cultural trappings, once you start adding those in, it starts molding how you will approach life.

Don't rip on someone because they are asking questions. It's an opportunity to learn and grow.

Or, you can make accusations, implied or blunt, and halt that learning process in it's tracks.

ninerbuff

Being overweight isn't really an issue in Asia. So don't be offended if anyone say "you're fat". It's just something they aren't used to and aren't afraid to tell you.

patience842003

How many lbs is a stone?

patience842003

That's great! I know some Italians who are pretty outspoken as well, but they make the most INCREDIBLE food and homemade spaghettis!!!

1prettysmile

Hey patience842003,

I can't speak for the Indian culture, however I've noticed in my experience that people from countries other than America do not think calling someone "fat" is offensive. I think we as Americans have just gotten use to sugar-coating it with words like, "overweight, heavy, big-boned, plump, etc." I had a Nigerian guy look at a picture of my sister and I and say, "You are fatter than your sister." I was shocked, but this person actually liked me and was just making an observation.

One day I was walking to the metro station with a group of co-workers and a guy that appeared to be Somalian yelled to me, "Fat, Black American women are beautiful!" with a huge smile on his face. Double whammy!!! LOL But what can you do? You just have to let it go.

igora_soma

How many lbs is a stone?

14 pounds

Ni_La82

It wasn't meant to be offensive. I get it too.

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage

I'm not Indian but I am a minority and sorry to take the focus off you chick-a-dee but I'm more offended that you're pin pointing a specific race and culture for this offense. People tell people they're fat all the time. or stupid. or ugly. Sorry that person just happened to not be white. Would have been less offensive then?

Since everyone is busy being offended, I'm offended by this post.

This was a round about way of calling her a racist because she happens to be white. What does that say about yourself and how you view anybody that's white?

I'm sorry that the original poster was white. Maybe she should try to dye her skin to satisfy you.

Would her post be less offensive to you if she wasn't white?

That beind said, it was a CULTURAL question.

Cultural upbringing has a BIG influence on how people react to other people, and in different situations. What might be considered rude in one cultural, can be completely acceptable in another.

While human nature is the same if you strip away all the cultural trappings, once you start adding those in, it starts molding how you will approach life.

Don't rip on someone because they are asking questions. It's an opportunity to learn and grow.

Or, you can make accusations, implied or blunt, and halt that learning process in it's tracks.

^^ this

jiagetsfit

I'm sorry you had to face that. But we indians tell it like it is. I'm overweight and i always have uncles and aunties (not mine) telling me to lose weight. They don't even know you, but they make it their business to lecture you about the hazards of weight gain. Same goes when you are skinny. When i'm partying i don't want people telling me to watch what i eat. I usually just display a bored look look during those lectures and they take the hint and leave. If i say something, it will be disrespectful. Please remember this during your interactions with Indians. We mean no harm, just showing concern the way we know.

hookilau

I am Indian and I'm quite offended that you think it's the culture! Has it not occurred to you that it may just be his family?

((

:laugh: that made me giggle!