Boyfriends and weight loss

brit49

You deserve better, That a form of abuse your boyfriend is showing. And you don't have alot of weight to lose, anyway!!

deannasmom

Thanks for all the comments. I actually talked to him this morning about it and we had a long talk, which was strange because usually he doesn't listen to me. I had moved all my stuff to my mom's house like a month ago but i still hang out with him a lot so i didn't think he felt like i would ever leave him. Today when we talked he said he didn't realize that my feeling were getting hurt by the things he said. He thought telling me stuff would encourage me to keep working out and not getting lazy. We have made an agreement to not talk about my weight anymore. I have been in verbally abusive relationships before, so i guess because he wasn't a constantly bashing me that he wasn't that bad. I will see how things go, because aside from the food thing, our relationship is pretty good. Thank you everyone for all the advice!

angelapolite

He sounds like my first husband...EX! It's funny because when I lost a ton of weight because of the hangups, then he told me years after our divorce that I was TOO THIN!!!

Hun, you can't win, just so you know... If you continue to lose weight, do it for YOU, no one else. I gained all that weight, and then some. Got remarried to a wonderful guy that loves me fat or skinny...

I wish you well, and don't let others make you feel like you're broken.

NPetrakis

With me it was my wife. Lose the weight or she's leaving with the kids. She said i obviously don't care about myself and she couldn't bear to watch me slowly die, like reverse cancer, or put the kids through it. I was taken back, no doubt about it. But in my case she was right. I quit caring. Without that tough love and kick to the *kitten*, God only knows where my weight and health would be right now.

I had gained about 120 lbs since we married ( though in my defense the woman is in fact a brilliant chef ). I lost 50lbs in 4 years and this year will be my best.

Point being, sometimes tough love is good. It hurts at first and maybe never heals, but if it changes us for the better...take it. Then let there be a reckoning. My wife today apologizes for those words, I just say "ok". I'm driven, I'm going to do it, and then we'll see.

I wouldn't compare a wife who was worried about a morbidly obese husband and his health as much as I'd worry about some guy scared that his girlfriend is 140lbs and being mean. Concern is one thing- being over 300lbs myself at one time, I get that concern that people who love you have. I was diabetic at 300lbs and that concern for heart and health issues is REAL.

Being with someone who is nasty, abusive and mean because he's shallow and controlling is a totally different situation. If someone I was dating told me I was too fat, I'd say leave me now and I would turn it back on them!

you're absolutely right, I miss interpreted the post. There's no comparison.

TraceyMarieHarnett

You need to be completely honest with him about how he's making you feel and tell him he needs to be more supportive and sensitive. I gained weight too after I met my bf but I can guarantee you that if he said he would leave me if I got fat I would have left him on the spot. If he can't accept you the way you, after giving him a child, then you should leave him!

tiptoeketo

"He always said if I got fat he would leave me." "He says that I am a little girl and should only have certain amounts of food."

People who say things like this are not nice people. You deserve better.
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She's right- you do deserve better.

littlesis412

Sweetheart, leave him and find someone that will treat you right. Your significant other should be loving and supportive, not threaten to leave you just because you put on a few pounds. My boyfriend never said a thing against me gaining weight (I sure did though!) when stress, school, medication, and work made me balloon up. I'm losing for me and he's supportive. If your boyfriend is doing this to you, how will he treat your child? It doesn't take much to induce an eat disorder.

You say, BESIDES the food thing your relationship is pretty good. That doesn't sound very confident and there shouldn't be exceptions. You can't pick and choose what you like about a person. It's all or nothing. If you want to give him a chance, go ahead and try. But don't get stuck waiting or don't fall in a cycle.