Public or Private school?

lmelangley

Public school. I was a public school kid who went to college with a lot of private school kids. I went thinking I could never keep up - never be good enough. I discovered that academically, there wasn't any difference between us. The difference, generally, was money.

Why is private school "tougher"? Because most of the kids there come from homes with professional parents, whereas there's a mix of blue and white collar families at public schools. If you're professional, you probably went to college and expect your kids to go to college. You send your kids to private school with the expectation they'll excel.

My home town was a mix of shoe shop and paper mill families. The expectation was that the children would graduate high school and then get jobs in a shoe shop or at the mill. Parents were proud if their kids did well, but there was no expectation of anything more than a high school education.

So, why do I say public? I believe a diverse education makes our children smarter in the world. I believe they need to understand a variety of socio-economic realities. I believe a child will succeed academically if they are self motivated and have the support of their parental units. I believe it's important to support our public education system and work toward making it better.

This being said, I also believe that as parents, it's our responsibility to make decisions for our children that are right for our individual families. Just because a decision is right for me, doesn't mean it's right for everyone. I have a dear friend who has chosen to send her children to private school because it was right for her family. Go with your gut.

lannlynn

We decided to send our boys to public school. We debated it for a very long time but decided that they would get a better education in public. That is here, where we live. My son scores very high on the mandated tests that are given every year, in the high 90 percentile. This has allowed him to be a part of the Duke Talent Search. He will be taking the ACT in February. He's only in the 7th grade.

amymeenieminymo

I would have to research it a lot more, but just from what I know of both, I would say public. I do agree that there are of course some schools that the students are at an extreme disadvantage (Detroit Public Schools) but just as important as the atmosphere and level of education is the individual child himself. You cannot put a child who is determined to not succeed in private school and expect a miracle, and you cannot take a straight A student and put them in public school and watch them fail.

I went to public school, I never felt as if I were held back or not receiving a good education. Yes I had some not so great teachers, but also some great ones (not so great teachers exist in colleges as well). I got decent grades in high school, went on to college, graduated with my BA with a 3.3 GPA and just graduated with my MBA with a 3.7 GPA. My husband on the other hand went to private school almost all of his life, he never went on to college and I have to say, sometimes his spelling and grammar is not the best. He's not dumb, he has very high intelligence when it comes to common sense and worldly knowledge, but "book smarts" was just never his thing.

I think parents have a LOT to do with it as well. You cannot send you child to school in kindergarten and expect them to do all their learning between the hours of 9 and 3 M-F. Learning is started the day they are born by the parents, and reinforced at home. My mom read to both my brother and I all the time, we both had much higher reading levels than the rest of the kids in our class. Our parents challenged us and turned a lot of stuff into lessons, whether it was the school year or summer vacation and they always encouraged hard work and good grades. That's not to say my in-laws weren't concerned with my husbands grades, but he had ADD and they were very much at a loss for how to handle it. ADD didn't have the resources available 30 years ago like they do today, so she would often end up getting frustrated and do his work for him, which of course set a pattern and made him even less interested in doing well, knowing his mom would do it for him.

Good luck with your decision.

ninerbuff

how about you ask what your daughter would like?

At 7 years old, I don't think it is something she would truly understand. She currently attends a public school and has been recommended to us to put her into GATE.

TexasNurseMom78

My kids go to public for two reasons. Where we live it is at least a 30-45 min drive to private schools and that is not feasable for our family every day. And, my friends who take their kids to private school still complain about peer pressure, misbehavior and academics. I went to private growing up through Jr High and then switched to public. Socially, public was much better for me. Academically? I think it is a toss up. Living in a small town, public is great for my kids becasue I know most of the teachers and staff personally and know most of the kids and parents also. It is a decision parents have to make individually. For my kids, I feel I made the right choice. And we are a a church going family and involved in many activities outside of school, so my kids get plenty of education in those areas also.

JulieSD

I went to Private school all threw Junior High and High School.

I would choose Private school ALL the way!

That's grate! :flowerforyou:

I lub this.

_Ben

Public. As long as your local public school isnt some dilapitated mess, I highly recommend public. I have a lot of friends who went to private school, a brother who went to private, and I went to private then switched to public. Heres the biggest concern. When you go to private schools, you arent exposed to the other people of the world. The majority of private schools consist of people with similar backgrounds, similar economic, social, religious, and political standings. While this may be great fo rbeing taught values that you and your wife support, it is nothing like the real world. You need to be able to see people of different classes/cultures/lifestyles, and be able to interact in the best way with them, without seeming ignorant or arrogant. Also just the same, if you do do private, please do coed. If its for your daughter, not as bad, but for guys I strongly believe it screws them up. I had a friend who ended up getting his first girlfriend pregnant because he had never even really been around to many girls, and he thought having unprotected sex was perfectly fine after the first or second date, because he just hadnt been around to many, he didnt really know how most men were around girls. Just the same I know another guy who had no comprehension how to talk to women, and has become extremely anti social now that he is in college. I know another guy who started experimenting with men (nothing against gays), to which he blamed due to a lack of female interaction.


I just really believe public schools allow you to see what america is really like, with the different histories, culturals, ethnicities, etc, while in a safe non threatening environment.

sleepytexan

Montessori magnet! Rah rah rah!

Not for my ADHD kid -- no IEP, no patience, no services. When I lived in TX briefly, my 3 older kids went to a Montessori that went through 6th grade. They very nicely referred my ADHD kid with a 146 IQ and fantastic grades back to public school after 1 year.

sleepytexan

if you do do private, please do coed. If its for your daughter, not as bad, but for guys I strongly believe it screws them up.

this made me laugh. My husband and his brothers went to Groton (private boarding school) that was all boys until the mid-70s. While I don't think it screwed him up, he was very enthusiastic once he graduated and went to a co-ed college. :laugh:

fionarama

I think it certainly depends on what country you live in, and what kind of private schools are available. I live in the UK and the school system is terrible - all the schools are overcrowded so you have to apply for the school you want and just cross your fingers you get it. I know people who moved house just to get in the catchment area of a particular school, and then still didn't get in.
Class sizes are 30+
And don't even get me started on after school care or lack there of, they are no help with that and just seem to assume its 1955 and all mothers stay at home.
I was advised by my nursery teacher to look at private for my daughter, who is a very bright little girl but can be quiet - the teachers words were "she will just disappear into a black hole".
We found a private school where class size will be no more than 16 (currently there are less than 10 in the class) they get swimming lessons, ballet lessons, tap dancing, horses riding whatever they want, and becuase a boarding school is attached after school care is free and they just hang out with the boarders until I get there.
The fees are reasonable and its a really family atmosphere, its not some snooty posh school.
More than 80% get A's and as far as I know pretty much the entire school goes on to University.

I can't rate it highly enough and you just cant' compare hte opportunities she will get there to a public school.

Or homeschooling, i'm sorry I just don't get why this is meant to be a good option for children, why would an untrained mother be a better teacher than a qualified teacher, an what about all the other social opportunites a school provides?/

bluefox9er

I think it certainly depends on what country you live in, and what kind of private schools are available. I live in the UK and the school system is terrible - all the schools are overcrowded so you have to apply for the school you want and just cross your fingers you get it. I know people who moved house just to get in the catchment area of a particular school, and then still didn't get in.
Class sizes are 30+
And don't even get me started on after school care or lack there of, they are no help with that and just seem to assume its 1955 and all mothers stay at home.
I was advised by my nursery teacher to look at private for my daughter, who is a very bright little girl but can be quiet - the teachers words were "she will just disappear into a black hole".
We found a private school where class size will be no more than 16 (currently there are less than 10 in the class) they get swimming lessons, ballet lessons, tap dancing, horses riding whatever they want, and becuase a boarding school is attached after school care is free and they just hang out with the boarders until I get there.
The fees are reasonable and its a really family atmosphere, its not some snooty posh school.
More than 80% get A's and as far as I know pretty much the entire school goes on to University.

I can't rate it highly enough and you just cant' compare hte opportunities she will get there to a public school.

Or homeschooling, i'm sorry I just don't get why this is meant to be a good option for children, why would an untrained mother be a better teacher than a qualified teacher, an what about all the other social opportunites a school provides?/

this was the reason my parents moved to the united states to avoid the UK's horrific education system....long before the UK's school system has become the unacceptable mess it is right now.

fteale

The one thing that would worry me with private schools, is mixing with children who think money is the be all and end all of life, and are spoilt. No matter how much money I had I don't want to be (nor want my kids to be) snobby about it, and think they are above others because of it. Or think that they deserve all the material things in the world just because we can afford it.

I think that the parents have a much better influence on that . My parents aren't rich and sending us to private school was a sacrifice. My brother and I knew that and we didn't let people with money influence our morals since many of the spoiled kids had bad relationships with there parents.

I agree. I went to private schools all the way through my schooling, and never met anyone at any of them who cared or talked about money at all, it wasn't an issue. There seemed to be more emphasis on how much your parents had at the state schools my friends went to, as there was much more discrepancy, so things like clothes and what holiday you went on became status symbols, which simply wasn't the case at the schools I went to.