Ok I need a reality check please..
tashajayne2011
Posts: 288
...So, my man and I have been together for 10 years in July. We have recently discussed getting married (yeah we are laid back about this, I am 29 and he is 32 so we feel we are still relatively young) and this has been a major factor in me wanting to lose weight as I really would hate to be this overweight in my photos.
I kind of thought he might ask me on my 30th birthday (read kind of thought as "I have been wiggling my finger when asked what I want and leaving jewellery mags laying around and cooing like a ring pigeon when we walk past ring shops..) and then we would leave it a couple of years to save some money before actually having a wedding. As I say, 9.5 years together so we know neither of us are in a rush.
Except last night that changed. My aunt and uncle who I ADORE (and who emigrated to australia in 2006) are planning to surprise family members with a visit which will coincide with mine and my mans 10 year anniversary.. so we chatted this morning and I admitted that none of the reception party or posh cars or wedding favours could ever mean as much as having them at our wedding.
31st July 2012 is the date of our anniversary. We have no money saved (but I am nothing if not creatively resourceful - I got my sisters wedding dress for free and made her a bouquet when she got married) so we think a registry office wedding for around 40/50, photos in the park and then maybe a picnic? is that too lame? Would you be shocked if you went to such a cheap wedding??
I already own a wedding dress but its a size 14 and currently I am a 22!! Is it physically possible to change your body so much in 6months? Help me MFPers!!
I kind of thought he might ask me on my 30th birthday (read kind of thought as "I have been wiggling my finger when asked what I want and leaving jewellery mags laying around and cooing like a ring pigeon when we walk past ring shops..) and then we would leave it a couple of years to save some money before actually having a wedding. As I say, 9.5 years together so we know neither of us are in a rush.
Except last night that changed. My aunt and uncle who I ADORE (and who emigrated to australia in 2006) are planning to surprise family members with a visit which will coincide with mine and my mans 10 year anniversary.. so we chatted this morning and I admitted that none of the reception party or posh cars or wedding favours could ever mean as much as having them at our wedding.
31st July 2012 is the date of our anniversary. We have no money saved (but I am nothing if not creatively resourceful - I got my sisters wedding dress for free and made her a bouquet when she got married) so we think a registry office wedding for around 40/50, photos in the park and then maybe a picnic? is that too lame? Would you be shocked if you went to such a cheap wedding??
I already own a wedding dress but its a size 14 and currently I am a 22!! Is it physically possible to change your body so much in 6months? Help me MFPers!!
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Replies
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If you work hard and get lucky maybe! I've lost 50 pounds but only one dress size so it's different for everybody!
However, I think the big question is if your boyfriend wants to get married! He hasn't asked yet right? So I wouldn't get too excited yet, unless he has said he is going to and just hasn't yet. I don't want to be a downer, but I would hate planning and then realizing that he is never going to ask.
You could propose to him too!0 -
Congratulations on your wedding!....
I would never be disappointed at going to a loved ones wedding no matter where or how much they spent.... when I look back at all the money I wasted on my own wedding I can't urge you enough to make it a happy day about you and the man you love getting married with friends and family around to enjoy the event with you....
You said yourself that all the fancy trappings weren't as important as having your family there with you..... go for it!
I don't know what your goals are as far as weight loss, but the sooner you take control of your weight the sooner you will be happier.... If it works out that you fit into THAT dress, great, but if not, there will be another dress found along the way that you will fit into....0 -
Physically impossible....no. Hard as hell...yes! I bought my size 12 wedding dress when I was a size 18. I did p90X for 120 days, plus a VERY low carb diet, followed by a month of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred and a no carb diet, and was able to wear the dress. Although it was quite snug, you couldn't tell in the photos, but I couldn't breath and when I took the dress and corset off my stomach felt weird for like 2 days. You will have to be diligent, do tons of cardio as well as strength training and be VERY smart about what goes into your body. Get plenty of fiber, drink tons of water, and don't eat 3 hours before bed. But you can do it.0
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How about this? You have an engagement party when you're aunt and uncle visit and take tons of pics with them to put in your wedding album so you have the memory to look back on. Then you still get to pace yourself for your wedding and not try to cram all this in....that's a lot of stress. I would hold out for the wedding as much as i love my aunt/uncle if at all possible.
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I say that as long as YOU are happy with your wedding then that is all that matters. IMO I think people spend way too much money on weddings these days. At my wedding, which wasn't the cheapest or the most expensive, my Dad put some money behind the bar and members of the family who we never see apart from at weddings, christenings & funerals were ordering triple shots and bottles of wine EACH. It was disgusting to see.
I don't know about going from a 22 to a 14, but I guess it would be possible if you were really strict.
Good luck!0 -
My mom went from a 14 to a 4 in probably about that time frame... you need to be REALLY dedicated...0
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Tough love: You may not be able to get down to a size 14 by next July. You'd have to work really hard (running most days) and be sure you're getting 5 servings of fruits and veggies in your calorie intake but it may be a stretch.
HOWEVER - You should have the wedding that means the most to you and this will mean the most to you. Even if you aren't a 14 by then you can most likely find a nice white dress from a department store as those come out in the spring. The simpler the wedding the less magnificent your dress needs to be. it may also be possible to let that you have out but after alterations it may just be cheaper to wear a dress off the rack from Macy's or Nordstrom or Torrid (or wherever lol).
I definitely think getting married on the day of your 10 year anniversary with you aunt and uncle there is perfect. Getting married at a register doesn't require the full blown dress so you should be able to find a dress you love to wear (my brother and sister got married at the register and she just wore a cute white dress, it was perfect). Don't torture yourself about getting down to a 14, just be diligent and if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't than you'll find something else.0 -
I admire people who are smart enough to not spend lots of money for just one day!
Focus on the marriage, not the wedding.
Like jazzalea said, don't stress about that one dress.0 -
I think a picnic in the park wedding reception is the most romantic thing I have ever heard!! And the opportunity to have such dear family members ther to share your day is more valuable than any fancy reception hall, etc could ever be!! I stressed for over a year planning my wedding. I SWEAR if I had to do it over again, we would do a BBQ in the backyard with loved ones and call it a day. The wedding doesn't matter -- it's the marriage that counts!! Good luck and keepnus posted!0
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I think it's doable but you'd have to aim for that 100% It sounds like this is motivating enough for you to want to do it - you can do it!!!
As far as the wedding plans - I think that they sound AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When hubby and I got married we found a local green house that let us rent for $25 if it was before hours so we got married at 9 a.m. on a Saturday! NOT traditional by any means but having the floral background, a little waterfall statue - it was adorable. It was in the spring and instead of bridesmaids dresses, wedding dresses all that we all wore cute spring stuff that we could wear again. The bridesmaids loved that
Even my daughter who was the flower girl wore a little pink dress that had been on sale after Easter 
We made most of the things we needed and our "dinner" was a picnic. I think it turned out great. I agonized a bit over how non-traditional it was and if our 35 or so guests would think it was terrible but we got so many compliments on it and everyone had a good time. (we skipped the dance/party thing due to lack of money but also that my side of the family is full of recovering alcoholics LOL - seemed kinda weird to have a dance with no bar but seemed tacky to have a bar when have the guests were either my bridesmaids who were underage and their underage dates or my side of the family who couldn't drink - mostly though we just ran out of money!! we were soooo broke at the time!!).
Our whole thing ran about $400 total and that includes I bought my maid of honor (Little sister's) dress!
So basically what I'm saying.... it's YOUR day so the only thing that really matters is what the two of you want 0 -
a wedding is about the union and celebration of two people committing to each other - not about the stuff. Some of the most wonderful weddings I've ever attended have been low key, low budget intimate affairs. There is less stress involved and it feels a lot more meaningful then yet another wedding squished into yet another reception hall decorated like the last 20 weddings.
My favorite wedding I have ever attended was my sister's father - in -law's. He was with his partner for almost 25 years,. He asked her every year to marry him. they were both divorced (with kids from their respective marriages) quite early on... she always said no.. on his 60th birthday, they had a big vegas themed birthday party in the back yard fully equipped with a chapel of love. After the food and the cake, she came out in a housecoat, got down on one knee and asked him to marry her with a big candy ring. He chuckled, said of course - she took off the housecoat and had a simple wedding dress on. She had arranged for a minister to be there and they got married right there on the spot in front of all of their friends and family (who were all shocked - happily of course).
I tear up when I recollect this wedding - but struggle to remember the details of some of the bigger more stuff-laden 'traditional' affairs I've attended.
SO GO GO GO !! SOUNDS AMAZING! and your family will be more than happy to share the moment with you both.
As for the weight loss - of course it is doable. A good workout program can take inches off like you wouldn't believe. Stay focused and relish the reason you will be working your butt off (literally) for !! GOOD LUCK!0 -
Congratulations :flowerforyou:
I don't know about being able to fit into the dress in that time but I do know that a wedding on a budget with only 6 months to plan can be every bit as good as the big fancy ones. My one was.
My friends and family all chipped in making the cake and the food. There were sandwich making factories all over North London:laugh: My sister in law done my hair and make up. Everyone pitched in. We asked for money as presents. As we were given envelopes, we were opening them to pay for the hall and the DJ Everyone paid for their own outfits (best man and bridesmaids) and everyone said it was the best wedding they had ever been to.
So, with imagination and good friends you can still have a wedding you will remember for life instead of paying for it for that long :flowerforyou:0 -
I say that as long as YOU are happy with your wedding then that is all that matters. IMO I think people spend way too much money on weddings these days.
Good luck!
I could not agree more. A simple, but elegant wedding is MUCH more meaningful than a coronation. Its about love, people and laughter... not about spending into oblivion.
Loosing the weight? Its possible... but get help like Medi-Fast they have good results for fast and safe weight loss. Personally I believe in slow for the long term.0 -
I feel your pain. I have been with my boyfriend since 1996. No we aren't married even though he has asked me three times. I also have a wedding dress in my closet. I would say since you want to get married and he hasn't asked, ask him and then set a date if he says yes. If he says no, then you have other decisions to make. Forget about that dress, weddings are nice, except I know a few people still paying on their weddings and are divorced. Lose the weight because you want to, not to fit into a dress that you may eventually decide that you don't even want to wear because you have found something better.0
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All you really need for a wedding is two people who love each other and want to marry (bride and groom), a marriage license, an officiant and a witness. All the rest is fluff. If you are happy, your guests will be happy; that's all that matters.
I don't know about getting to a size 14, but you'll have to decide if that is more important to you than having your aunt & uncle there. If you can't get to that size for the wedding, maybe plan for a later honeymoon to celebrate when you do reach your goal?
Congrats & best wishes!! :happy:0 -
All you really need for a wedding is two people who love each other and want to marry (bride and groom), a marriage license, an officiant and a witness. All the rest is fluff. If you are happy, your guests will be happy; that's all that matters.
I don't know about getting to a size 14, but you'll have to decide if that is more important to you than having your aunt & uncle there. If you can't get to that size for the wedding, maybe plan for a later honeymoon to celebrate when you do reach your goal?
Congrats & best wishes!! :happy:0 -
If you work hard and get lucky maybe! I've lost 50 pounds but only one dress size so it's different for everybody!
However, I think the big question is if your boyfriend wants to get married! He hasn't asked yet right? So I wouldn't get too excited yet, unless he has said he is going to and just hasn't yet. I don't want to be a downer, but I would hate planning and then realizing that he is never going to ask.
You could propose to him too!
Oh sorry I probably didn't make it clear, he absolutely does - we have talked about this together.. money stuff (2 kids and a house and him taking a paycut) has prevented the buying of a ring but he knows i want one, lol. He is a good man, if he didn't want to get married we just wouldn't be talking about it, for a long time neither of us particularly wanted to but I feel like I would like to and he says that although he doesnt think it necessary he sees its important to me so he wants to too.
I am excited by the challenge of having such a goal to work to but you're right, its not the end of the world if I don't quite make it to that particular dress
if anyone was wondering, this is the one!!
and this would be where we would probably do it
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I think it's crazy to spend a lot of money on a wedding, and your idea sounds nice. The one problemo - if it rains, you're in trouble. It might be worth the money to see if you can rent a space, just in case. Even if you use a JOP, you could rent a church hall or an Eagles Club or something similar. If the rest of your families are close by, ask for help throwing a pot luck picnic. You've been together for a while - tell your family you'd rather have them bring a dish instead of giving presents.
As to losing that much weight that quickly, it may or may not be possible. BUT, the bigger issue is that you can't guarantee you'll fit into any particular size (it's beautiful, by the way) - it'll depend on how your body morphs as the weight comes off. I've lost 26 lbs and almost all of it came from my abdomen! Try your hardest but try to set aside a couple hundred dollars so that if you're 3 weeks away and your dress doesn't fit, you can pick up something. $200 isn't much for a gown, but it is doable. And, remember, the dress is just the icing. The day is about the love. Good luck to you!0 -
It wouldn't be lame at all to do that for your wedding. I think it sounds lovely. What a better way to spend your big day than with the people who you actually want there. I'd give anything for just 1 day with some of the people who aren't in my life anymore. Have the picnic and enjoy yourself x0
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...So, my man and I have been together for 10 years in July. We have recently discussed getting married (yeah we are laid back about this, I am 29 and he is 32 so we feel we are still relatively young) and this has been a major factor in me wanting to lose weight as I really would hate to be this overweight in my photos.
I kind of thought he might ask me on my 30th birthday (read kind of thought as "I have been wiggling my finger when asked what I want and leaving jewellery mags laying around and cooing like a ring pigeon when we walk past ring shops..) and then we would leave it a couple of years to save some money before actually having a wedding. As I say, 9.5 years together so we know neither of us are in a rush.
Except last night that changed. My aunt and uncle who I ADORE (and who emigrated to australia in 2006) are planning to surprise family members with a visit which will coincide with mine and my mans 10 year anniversary.. so we chatted this morning and I admitted that none of the reception party or posh cars or wedding favours could ever mean as much as having them at our wedding.
31st July 2012 is the date of our anniversary. We have no money saved (but I am nothing if not creatively resourceful - I got my sisters wedding dress for free and made her a bouquet when she got married) so we think a registry office wedding for around 40/50, photos in the park and then maybe a picnic? is that too lame? Would you be shocked if you went to such a cheap wedding??
I already own a wedding dress but its a size 14 and currently I am a 22!! Is it physically possible to change your body so much in 6months? Help me MFPers!!
maybe you should try insanity. You get awesome results in a matter of 60 days, 2 months0 -
Wow! Thats really beautiful!0
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there is an AWESOME website out there called www.weddingbee.com they are absolutely fabulous when it comes to ideas and stuff;)
Now though, dont focus on the wedding, focus on the marriage:) There is nothing wrong with a small ceremony:)
good luck!
Ronney0 -
YOU can do it! You can do anything you set your mind to!
And yes it is possible!!0 -
The weight loss is certainly doable if you are commited and stay focused. The wedding is yours and you should do what you want. Hopefully it is the the only wedding you'll have (unless perhaps you renew your vows in 50 years) so do what makes you happy.0
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Yes you can...6 months is a lot of time if you stay dedicated. You should lose the weight to be healthy and ready for a long fun filled life not for the wedding. You can get there for the wedding but you wont keep it if that is your reason for dropping the weight. I struggled with my weight and working out has made me such a better mom and wife. I am happier and have more energy. YOu can do this. Add me as a friend if you want more accountability and support. Lets do this I would love to see your progress.:)0
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We're celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary next week. We had a quickie quiet courthouse wedding, with just our parents and his best friend, took photos in the riverside park by the courthouse, then went to Chilis (where we had our first date) for dinner and margaritas, and to my house for ice cream cake.
And it. was. perfect!
Before that, we'd try to plan a wedding, and my husband said some words that melted my heart. "Do what you want. I don't care about the wedding. I care about the next 60 years with you."
The wedding should be meaningful to you. All that matters is that you're announcing to the world that you two will spend the rest of your lives together. You don't have to go into debt or put on a huge event. If having your family nearby celebrate it with you is what's most important (well, second-most-important after your husband!) the rest doesn't matter.
I didn't have an engagement ring, either. I didn't want one. He wanted to get me one, but we needed a kitchen remodel a lot more. I joke that I got an engagement dishwasher! :laugh:
I thought of doing a vow renewal, because I do get wedding fever when my nieces got married or when I watch "Say Yes to the Dress" or "Four Weddings." But really... I can't justify the expense. I'm with the man I adore and that's all that really counts. My parents had a courthouse wedding and were together 55 years until death they did part.
Then you have the Kardashians... The wedding doesn't make the marriage. The couple makes the marriage.
That said... the site Offbeat Bide (http://www.offbeatbride.com) has loads of amazing ideas for quirky, affordable, custom tailored to you and any budget weddings.0 -
Looks beautiful!! Sounds like it could be perfect for you guys.
As far as the dress goes, work your *kitten* off, and you might be able to do it. In the mean time, take it to a seamstress(sp?) and see if the dress could be let out if it needed to be just in case. I would think you could get to at least a 16-18 by then, you could probably do a 14, but it would be really challenging.
I am currently 263 and a size 22. My 30th birthday is June 22nd, I'n hoping for onederland and a size 14/16 by then too. The way I have my goals set I *should* make it to about 190 by then, and hopefully that means a size 14, but I forget which weight is what.
I've got a 8mo old and a 2 year old, add me if you like 0 -
Go for it! Fire up the metabolism and keep tracking food and I'm sure you stand a good chance. If not, I'm sure you can find another dress for next to nothing - worth it to have your wedding while your relatives are there.
The most memorable and charming weddings I've been to have been the ones on a lower budget and your idea sounds fantastic.
It's the couple and the guests that make a wedding. :-)0 -
We had a low-budget outdoor wedding and people still comment to me on it when I'm at weddings-- 7 years later! When you go cheap, you tend to be more creative and memorable!
As far as the dress-- it's beautiful and would be great motivation. But if it doesn't happen,,, one of my best friend's found a lovely wedding gown for $15 at a second-hand shop a few weeks before her budget wedding. I often see them when I go thrift-store shopping... you never know what you may find!0 -
I think your plans are perfect and you have the right attitude about the dress. Don't spend a lot of money on trying to lose the weight using a weight loss plan like Medifast or whatever. That defeats the purpose of having a simple wedding because you would be better off spending that money on the wedding.Oh sorry I probably didn't make it clear, he absolutely does - we have talked about this together.. money stuff (2 kids and a house and him taking a paycut) has prevented the buying of a ring but he knows i want one, lol. He is a good man, if he didn't want to get married we just wouldn't be talking about it, for a long time neither of us particularly wanted to but I feel like I would like to and he says that although he doesnt think it necessary he sees its important to me so he wants to too.
I am excited by the challenge of having such a goal to work to but you're right, its not the end of the world if I don't quite make it to that particular dress
Work towards your weight loss goal, but don't stress yourself about it. With so many other things that are stressful about a wedding, even one as simple as the one you are planning, you don't need to compound it by worrying about getting down to specific size.
As far as a ring, just buy a simple band for the both of you. You should be able to find a set of gold bands for a couple hundred or choose a metal like titanium and spend a lot less. I've been married for 23 years now and the ring I'm wearing is my third. I've traded up as life has gone on and we've had more money.
Best wishes and congratulations to the both of you!0
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