Embarrassed by weight loss

Bindibelle80

I am now at the point in my new lifestyle change where people are really starting to notice how much weight Ive lost. When comments are made like "wow, you are really looking good" & the like, I feel embarrassed & almost apologetic. This is extremely frustrating. Ive worked so hard this far & because of my own insecurities I am almost sabotaging myself. Does anyone else experience something similar or have any insight

hbrittingham

I was like you when I was younger. Someone gave me some advice and that was to just say "thank you" and move on. You will start to bask in the attention if you just let go with the self consciousness. I am very shy, so I totally understand.

albinogorilla

I agree, but i find it more annoying than embarrassing at this point, plus in the industry i work in, its customary to not see people for 6-9 months at a time that you work with, so people always notice.

gashinshotan

Same here.... especially when it's people I know... you're just not used to attracting so much attention... I know I'm still not...

Jeff92se

Probably one of the best problems to have so, hey. No worries okay?

gashinshotan

For insecure people the anxiety can be bad....

Probably one of the best problems to have so, hey. No worries okay?

JRhinoC

Own up to, and accept, the fact that you were overweight and unhealthy and that you're actively changing that. Not only will it allow you to accept the compliment, it'll boost your self esteem.

TNAJackson

Just keep your responses simple. "Thank you" or "Great of you to notice" as you walk away do just fine! :happy:

cloveraz

I'm dreading the day my grandmother says that to me.

oaken

At one point in my life, I lost 60 pounds. Unfortunately, I've since gained it all back, but I remember the feeling.

People didn't recognize me, people would do double-takes at me. Most people said I looked great and asked how I did it. (I think that is such a stupid question. What do you do to heathily lose a lot of weight? Diet & Exercise, duh!)

I remember the feeling of being taken aback by some of these comments, though. I remember thinking, "Was I that fat before? Is this person calling me fat by saying I've lost so much weight?" I sometimes felt embarrassed by how much weight I had on prior to the weight loss, but I never felt embarrassed by losing the weight. I just felt like, "Gosh, did I look THAT BAD?"

I have to be realistic though, the answers are YES! I did look that bad; I was that fat.

I'm more embarrassed about gaining the weight back now. That's something to be embarrassed about. But to be embarrassed about losing the weight? I'm not sure I get your meaning.

BE PROUD and when you feel like "Was I that fat?" The answer might be yes, but it is also in the past and that is something to be proud of. Accept that your "fat-self" was who you ONCE were, not who you are now. Keep telling yourself that you're leaving that fat person behind.

Also, I use the word fat a lot because that is what it is. It's not conducive to your health to lie to yourself and be unrealistic. It's fat, it needs to go and it is what it is.

RNMDFF

I am exactly the same way. I love people noticing but What do i say? It's really awkward, I have a love/hate relationship with compliments

Izable2011

:happy: I agree. I usually just say thank you, smile & move on.

tkn11

it happens to me too sometimes, but it's mostly when people are kind of rudely complimenting. I had a former classmate say "hey, you're not fat and ugly anymore"
I wanted to say "hey, you're still the same *kitten* you were in high school" but instead, my classy side came out and I "thanks" and walked away, knowing how much I've grown on the inside, when obviously he hadn't.

Unless they are blatantly rude like that, most people do not mean anything bad by saying you look good now. Just take it as a compliment, and move on.

Ange_

I know what you mean

noisykitty

I work with 150 people. I just say "I'm trying" ,smile and change the topic.

DivaRenae

Id b like 'yep I bn workin out hard, thanks...then switch my behind away, Id almost break a hip switching....No nd 2 feel embrassed u worked really hard 2 get 2 wear u r...STRUT ur stuff!

sarah307

yeah i feel the exact same way!!

Kimberlycc

Yes, i experienced that when I lost my weight. My coworkers at store where I worked were really encouraging and always telling me how great I was looking during my journey. Then customers who I knew would walk up and say things. Then my coworkers would tell people they knew who came into the store and introduce me. I felt really self conscious. The question always came up, 'how did you do it?' I got really tired of repeating myself. You should enjoy it while you can, though, because it does stop eventually. Hahaha!

kmbrooks15

I think that even as we lose the weight, we still have the overweight mindset. I think changing that is even harder than changing our bodies!

I agree with the poster who said to just say a polite "Thank you" and move on. Eventually, you will get more used to it. Also, as people get used to the thinner you, they'll eventually stop saying it because that will just be who you are. Right now it's new to them, so they feel the need to say something. Just be encouraged that they are noticing! If no one was noticing that I was busting my butt and losing, I'd be a little discouraged...

debussyschild

I was like you when I was younger. Someone gave me some advice and that was to just say "thank you" and move on. You will start to bask in the attention if you just let go with the self consciousness. I am very shy, so I totally understand.

This is probably the best advice. I'm the type that would probably gloat and enjoy all the attention... at first... But after a while, it'd irritate me that I actually looked that bad before that it's now really noticeable. You've worked hard for your weight loss and you deserve praise for it. So don't let all the new (and well meant) attention and comments make you feel self-conscious about it.

breunor

I would take the comments as encouragement and proof that you're making progress. As your weight gets lower towards what you want it can become annoying if others start to pick at you out of jealousy perhaps. So much of our self image is based on comparing ourselves to others, and there's way too much marketing telling you that you have to be skinnier to be valued. It's sad.

serabee5

I agree totally, and completely understand! My problem is the incessant comments made by family members. EVERY TIME THEY SEE ME (several times a week) they feel the need to say something. It is a tremendous amount of pressure - I really do not want to talk about my weight loss everyday. I appreciated it in the beginning, but now it has become oppressive. Yes, I understand that it has become very obvious I have lost weight (almost 70 lbs.), but am growing weary with just the thought of the constant attention if I lose the last 30. I do try to, "just say thank you." But these family members can't just leave it alone - they have to have a detail discussion about it - even tho the conversation is exactly the same every time. GRRR.... It's like a daily reminder that I was obese. How do you move on and let all of that go if you are constantly reminded?

loralea8033

Don't be embarrassed or apologetic! Say "Thank you, your encouragement keeps me motivated." I lost 75 lbs last year and people didn't recognized me if they hadn't seen me for quite awhile. That was a very uncomfortable feeling. My husband is in a very public job position so I meet a lot of people and only see them once or twice a year. Sometimes they can't remember me from before the weight loss so I just pretend that we have never met. They usually give me a puzzling look and say "Have we met before?" I just smile and say "no, it's nice to meet you!"

Kimberlycc

:-) Funny and cute!

Bindibelle80

Thankyou everyone. I think Ive been so used to being invisible & my weight has always been my barrier. I do say a timid thankyou & move on but its that damn voice in my head for hours after Im struggling with. How do you get past the negative self talk?

LuckyLeprechaun

Don't be embarrassed or apologetic! Say "Thank you, your encouragement keeps me motivated." I lost 75 lbs last year and people didn't recognized me if they hadn't seen me for quite awhile. That was a very uncomfortable feeling. My husband is in a very public job position so I meet a lot of people and only see them once or twice a year. Sometimes they can't remember me from before the weight loss so I just pretend that we have never met. They usually give me a puzzling look and say "Have we met before?" I just smile and say "no, it's nice to meet you!"

Recently I was re-introduced to a friend of my sister's, and she told my sister later , "I didn't know you had two sisters!" She remembered meeting the fat me, and mistakenly thought the improved version of me was a different person.

I try to reply with a thank you, I have been trying! and then move on. Because it also makes me feel strange.

The weirdest thing though, is I have a new job. The people I work with have only seen the recent version of me...so I get a lot of questions about why I won't eat in the cafeteria, etc. I finally brought out the "before" pics, and enjoyed their shocked faces.

Jeff92se

For insecure people the anxiety can be bad....

Probably one of the best problems to have so, hey. No worries okay?

Yeah, I can understand that. Just don't want the OP to gain the weight back just so she could avoid these situations. Losing weight is alot harder than dealing with positive comments. IMHO of course.

KiyaK

Haha. My best friend has lost a lot of weight recently sort of on accident. She just started living with & hanging out with people who were more active & ate healthier. Whenever someone comments on it, she gets all embarrassed and says that she feels like people are “checking her out” lol.

I’m almost the opposite. I love when people compliment me, but I have been a dancer (not pole lmao) since I was tiny and am used to people looking at my body. Enjoy it! Live it up!

allie864

I know what you mean. For me (and I'm sure someone else has already posted the same thing), it was because I didn't *want* to be noticed before & then when I lost weight & people would comment, I wasn't used to all the attention on me so, it was odd at first. One day, you won't mind it so much Just say "thank you" and know your hard work is paying off.

fiberartist219

This kind of reminds me of when I was skinny. I was never overweight until after college. When I was in my teens, I got compliments right and left about my appearance, and I hated it, because I didn't do anything to look like that. I wanted to be complimented on my personality or work ethic, but not on my appearance.

After I gained weight, hardly anyone says anything to me about it, and it's almost nice being bigger, because the conversations lead to what I'm actually doing.

I think when I lose the weight, I will enjoy some compliments here or there, but if they start pouring in, I might be angry, because I hate being objectified. I don't exist simply for people to look at.

gashinshotan

Yeah exactly.... when I was thin I would see people looking at me like an object (I even caught a female professor checking me out from behind - a professor!) and guys I thought were straight would give me weird looks.... so I started lifting weights and got muscular/fat haha.... fat is a good cover for insecurity.

This kind of reminds me of when I was skinny. I was never overweight until after college. When I was in my teens, I got compliments right and left about my appearance, and I hated it, because I didn't do anything to look like that. I wanted to be complimented on my personality or work ethic, but not on my appearance.

After I gained weight, hardly anyone says anything to me about it, and it's almost nice being bigger, because the conversations lead to what I'm actually doing.

I think when I lose the weight, I will enjoy some compliments here or there, but if they start pouring in, I might be angry, because I hate being objectified. I don't exist simply for people to look at.