Embarrassed by weight loss

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  • serabee5
    serabee5 Posts: 89
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    I agree totally, and completely understand! My problem is the incessant comments made by family members. EVERY TIME THEY SEE ME (several times a week) they feel the need to say something. It is a tremendous amount of pressure - I really do not want to talk about my weight loss everyday. I appreciated it in the beginning, but now it has become oppressive. Yes, I understand that it has become very obvious I have lost weight (almost 70 lbs.), but am growing weary with just the thought of the constant attention if I lose the last 30. I do try to, "just say thank you." But these family members can't just leave it alone - they have to have a detail discussion about it - even tho the conversation is exactly the same every time. GRRR.... It's like a daily reminder that I was obese. How do you move on and let all of that go if you are constantly reminded?
  • loralea8033
    loralea8033 Posts: 1
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    Don't be embarrassed or apologetic! Say "Thank you, your encouragement keeps me motivated." I lost 75 lbs last year and people didn't recognized me if they hadn't seen me for quite awhile. That was a very uncomfortable feeling. My husband is in a very public job position so I meet a lot of people and only see them once or twice a year. Sometimes they can't remember me from before the weight loss so I just pretend that we have never met. They usually give me a puzzling look and say "Have we met before?" I just smile and say "no, it's nice to meet you!"
  • Kimberlycc
    Kimberlycc Posts: 68
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    :-) Funny and cute!
  • Bindibelle80
    Bindibelle80 Posts: 21 Member
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    Thankyou everyone. I think Ive been so used to being invisible & my weight has always been my barrier. I do say a timid thankyou & move on but its that damn voice in my head for hours after Im struggling with. How do you get past the negative self talk?
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Don't be embarrassed or apologetic! Say "Thank you, your encouragement keeps me motivated." I lost 75 lbs last year and people didn't recognized me if they hadn't seen me for quite awhile. That was a very uncomfortable feeling. My husband is in a very public job position so I meet a lot of people and only see them once or twice a year. Sometimes they can't remember me from before the weight loss so I just pretend that we have never met. They usually give me a puzzling look and say "Have we met before?" I just smile and say "no, it's nice to meet you!"

    Recently I was re-introduced to a friend of my sister's, and she told my sister later , "I didn't know you had two sisters!" She remembered meeting the fat me, and mistakenly thought the improved version of me was a different person.

    I try to reply with a thank you, I have been trying! and then move on. Because it also makes me feel strange.

    The weirdest thing though, is I have a new job. The people I work with have only seen the recent version of me...so I get a lot of questions about why I won't eat in the cafeteria, etc. I finally brought out the "before" pics, and enjoyed their shocked faces.
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
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    For insecure people the anxiety can be bad....
    Probably one of the best problems to have so, hey. No worries okay?

    Yeah, I can understand that. Just don't want the OP to gain the weight back just so she could avoid these situations. Losing weight is alot harder than dealing with positive comments. IMHO of course.
  • KiyaK
    KiyaK Posts: 519 Member
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    Haha. My best friend has lost a lot of weight recently sort of on accident. She just started living with & hanging out with people who were more active & ate healthier. Whenever someone comments on it, she gets all embarrassed and says that she feels like people are “checking her out” lol.

    I’m almost the opposite. I love when people compliment me, but I have been a dancer (not pole lmao) since I was tiny and am used to people looking at my body. Enjoy it! Live it up!
  • allie864
    allie864 Posts: 298
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    I know what you mean. For me (and I'm sure someone else has already posted the same thing), it was because I didn't *want* to be noticed before & then when I lost weight & people would comment, I wasn't used to all the attention on me so, it was odd at first. One day, you won't mind it so much :wink: Just say "thank you" and know your hard work is paying off.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    This kind of reminds me of when I was skinny. I was never overweight until after college. When I was in my teens, I got compliments right and left about my appearance, and I hated it, because I didn't do anything to look like that. I wanted to be complimented on my personality or work ethic, but not on my appearance.

    After I gained weight, hardly anyone says anything to me about it, and it's almost nice being bigger, because the conversations lead to what I'm actually doing.

    I think when I lose the weight, I will enjoy some compliments here or there, but if they start pouring in, I might be angry, because I hate being objectified. I don't exist simply for people to look at.
  • gashinshotan
    gashinshotan Posts: 753 Member
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    Yeah exactly.... when I was thin I would see people looking at me like an object (I even caught a female professor checking me out from behind - a professor!) and guys I thought were straight would give me weird looks.... so I started lifting weights and got muscular/fat haha.... fat is a good cover for insecurity.
    This kind of reminds me of when I was skinny. I was never overweight until after college. When I was in my teens, I got compliments right and left about my appearance, and I hated it, because I didn't do anything to look like that. I wanted to be complimented on my personality or work ethic, but not on my appearance.

    After I gained weight, hardly anyone says anything to me about it, and it's almost nice being bigger, because the conversations lead to what I'm actually doing.

    I think when I lose the weight, I will enjoy some compliments here or there, but if they start pouring in, I might be angry, because I hate being objectified. I don't exist simply for people to look at.
  • stevwil41
    stevwil41 Posts: 608 Member
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    I think that even as we lose the weight, we still have the overweight mindset. I think changing that is even harder than changing our bodies!

    ^^This, This, This!!^^

    I can't tell you how long it took me to quit gravitating to the big and tall section when I was clothes shopping! On a slightly more serious note I see a trainer periodically to make sure I stay on track with my workouts and we had a very ernest conversation about different activities and things I hadn't been able to do because I'd spent a large portion of my adult life so overweight. Clinton pointed out that we weighed the same (he's a few inches shorter than me) and it didn't matter that he was in great shape and I wasn't, 215 lbs is 215 lbs and if he could do something then so could I. It took me a while to wrap my head around that concept but I walked around with a goofy grin on my face the rest of the day because I'll be damned if he wasn't right:) It was quite liberating and worth the price of the session even if all we did was have that conversation.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    Better than hearing: "you really let yourself go."
  • TNoire
    TNoire Posts: 642 Member
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    I can see where your coming from but personally this actually helped me boost my confidence hearing people and there comments and I felt awesome about it I started a weight loss page on facebook cause I felt good and cause I wanted to help others and I had many say I helped inspire them to lose many many pounds, also is 100+ times better when my husband says I look amazing :blushing: even tho he loved me before I lost the weight I just feels so much better knowing I accomplished a lot!

    I gained my weight from quitting smoking (almost 200lbs) and when my grandmother told me I got fat.... I knew I had to get back on track to the me I was before without the shyness ... not going back to 135 my highschool weight but I want to be comfortable :D

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