Boyfriend is sabotaging me!

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245

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  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    Do you think that mayhaps he's scared that once you get all the weight off, you'll leave him high and dry? *shrugs* Could be a possibility.

    ^ Extra points for using "mayhaps".
  • greenbubblegum
    greenbubblegum Posts: 26 Member
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    Get rid of him.
  • oaken
    oaken Posts: 35 Member
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    A lot of partners do this because they feel that once you lose the weight, you will lose them for someone else that's better. Maybe he thinks you'll meet someone that's as into fitness as you are or will be and he's very insecure about that.

    This is still unhealthy. You cannot succumb to this. He is impeding your ability to lose weight and that is sabotaging your health. He wants to keep you at a weight that he can "keep you." Does this make sense?

    To be completely honest, I would leave him. That kind of sabotage will continue. If he will not change and he will not support you, then you cannot stay in this unhealthy relationship.

    You'd think they'd want a hot-sexy girlfriend, but really where it comes from is insecurity. He's afraid you'll dump him when you get skinny/healthy. What he has not considered is that you might dump him now for his actions, instead of later when you are healthy/skinny (whatever you wanna call it).

    BE CAREFUL WITH THIS ONE!
  • stefchica
    stefchica Posts: 257 Member
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    because you are totally changing your lifestyle!!! have yout ried including him in it?? if he's refusing, then more than likely he's just doing it to piss you off, he doesnt want you to look better, he's insecure about how you could potentially look, he's threatened or you've tried this diet thing before, failed and right back to eating crappy like he does.

    i had a bf like that in high school, he was always trying to feed me crap and when i was dieting i refused, well he would always eat **** in front of me and try to force me to eat it. after i dropped all my weight he told me i looked good but he would still say things to me, call me fatty and try to keep me down.

    what i REALLY HONESTLY think is that if you do lose weight you'll gain new self confidence and he may feel threatened by that and thinks you MIGHT leave him once you have your new bod and attitude. if he didnt care he wouldnt be doing that to you. i woul djust ask him wtf when he is trying to shove food in your mouth. if your frustrated to the point, dont do it the nice way lol be honest about how you feel at that moment and show it. if your mad, snap at him! he'll only get the point that way.

    but thats just me..and i tend to be more blunt and forward about how i approach things.
  • genxrider
    genxrider Posts: 107 Member
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    Get rid of him.

    This. That's quite a lot of immaturity going on there - what is he, 12? Kick him to the curb.

    Best advice ever from my aunt in regards to men (or partners in general of whatever ilk) - Never marry (date/live with/whatever) a man who can not give you at least what you can give yourself. And that's not really all about the material stuff.
  • tena1028
    tena1028 Posts: 80 Member
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    Kick him to the curb. You can get a workout in while you do it. :laugh:
  • Scorpioangel
    Scorpioangel Posts: 951 Member
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    Oh wow I had the same thing happening to me - Nothing is more annoying than a spoon coming at your mouth like you are a baby.. believe me and that just started this past weekend with him. It sucks girl.
  • nicehormones
    nicehormones Posts: 503 Member
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    He sounds like a real tool. Boyfriends should be nothing but supportive of things that are important to you, regardless of their opinion on it.
  • FuerImmerStark
    FuerImmerStark Posts: 144
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    I have the opposite problem. My boyfriend monitors what I eat constantly, and calls me names if I don't work out. He's "trying to help," but it sucks.
  • tiptoeketo
    tiptoeketo Posts: 271 Member
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    Get rid of him.

    Sounds about right!
  • boston6
    boston6 Posts: 158 Member
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    My guess is that he's insecure and thinks you'll dump him once you lose the weight.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    This is the first "sabotage" post I've seen where someone has actually been force fed! Not to belittle your situation. Maybe he thinks if you lose weight, you'll leave him? Is he overweight? Does he voice opinions about wanting you to stay heavier?
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    It sounds like he's being more of an immature brother than a boyfriend.

    And this.
  • angeldelight13
    angeldelight13 Posts: 177 Member
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    Can i just say, well done you for saying no!!! Never a easy thing and must be even harder with someone trying to make you do it!!
    My opinions are the same as above, try to talk to him seriously but if he wont support you then you deserve better
    Good Luck x
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I'd sit him down during a neutral time - when he's not trying to get you to eat something - and ask him if the problem is that he's only attracted to overweight women. Or, if he's scared you'll leave him if you lose the weight.
  • SarabellPlus3
    SarabellPlus3 Posts: 496 Member
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    Does he know the topic is serious to you? I come from a family where we joke, and no one takes themselves real seriously, so it's just kind of how it is. But, if something really is important to you, you SAY it, and it gets respected. So, if he's just being silly and messing around, cut him a break, and TELL him seriously how you need him to act regarding food to you. If he is "sabatoging" you on purpose, this is no relationship you want to be in as a self-respecting person. Drop him like a bad habit, if that is true.
    I have the opposite problem. My boyfriend monitors what I eat constantly, and calls me names if I don't work out. He's "trying to help," but it sucks.
    Last line goes for you, too! :(
  • tiggerbounce411
    tiggerbounce411 Posts: 401 Member
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    Hmm, sounds like he is controlling you in a secret way, or at least trying. My ex-stepfather didn't want my mom to be thin because he treated her like crap and knew if she was in shape, other men would look at her and speak to her. Needless to say, he did the EXACT same thing your BF is doing. Sounds like he isn't supportive of you trying to better yourself and I am not sure if that is ok for you, but it shouldn't be. Maybe try explaining to him seriously that he needs to either leave you alone and let you do your thing if he can't be encouraging, or something is going to have to change. If he can't understand or won't take it seriously, unfortunately that seems like a good sign of future things to come and you need to consider removing him from your life honey. I hate to say that, but he doesn't seem to care how your feelings are affected by this and the struggle you are having just to better yourself healthwise.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I think it's a little harsh to say just to dump him. He may be totally oblivious to what you're feeling and you should at least give him a serious chance to improve before you cut him loose. He may not understand that you're hurt by his behavior. Try talking to him. It may be some of the suggestions above are true regarding his motives, and it's likely that he doesn't take your goals as seriously as you do. He might be insecure about your weight loss. But those are all things that can be worked on if he's worth it.
  • tiggerbounce411
    tiggerbounce411 Posts: 401 Member
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    I have the opposite problem. My boyfriend monitors what I eat constantly, and calls me names if I don't work out. He's "trying to help," but it sucks.
    Sounds like you too need an improvement from that in your life girl. :-( Sorry to say, you need someone better, that is verbal abuse.
  • AMKT
    AMKT Posts: 1
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    I honestly think you need to ditch him. You are trying to do what's best for your body and you, and if he can't understand that, he doesn't deserve you nor does he really love you. If he loved you, he would want what's best for you.

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