When friends tell you, you are too skinny, what is it really

mizjohnston

Are you really or what is it? I am 31 and all my life I've had weight issues. I was always the heavy girl. When I turned 19, I was 210 pounds. I was done with it. I lost 60 pounds and since I have gotten pregnant lost it all again and still struggle with the last 10 - 15. I now weigh 142 and would like to lose 10 more and I will. Anyway, I have 4 really close friends. 1 is happy and says I look awesome and never says anything else ( I am her inspiration she says ) Another saw me go through everything and is happy but says she likes me at 160. The 3rd one hasn't seen me forever and finally saw me and says you are far too skiiny. The last is my closest, she says I am fragile, too skinny and that she wants to know when I am going to realize that it is a problem that I way less then her 13 year old daughter who is 144 (solid muscle mind you) I just don't know. All of them way 200 plus and I can't believe it is jealousy of any sort. The one that says I'm far too skinny and the other that I mentioned with the daughter has always been confident about their weight. I know they love me but I don't get it. I weigh 142, wear a size 11 in juniors and 8 in women. I barely made it to a "safe" BMI. I am happy and I am not going to let it stop me I just wish they could be happy and not want to sabotage. Guess I am venting and looking to hear other peoples experience.

nicxox

How tall are you? 142 is a nice healthy weight but it is in no way too skinny, except maybe for somebody who is quite tall.

bry_all01

I don't want to say they are jealous in the sense that they aren't happy for you, but maybe that they too wish they had put in the hard work that you did to get where you are, if that makes sense. I think, or would like to think they like it, but maybe are just not used to you being back down to this size. By the way, you are GORGEOUS! Congrats on all of your hard work!!!

Mama_CAEI

142 sounds like a very healthy weight, unless you're 8 feet tall. :P Perhaps they are trying to sabotage you because they are more used to the way you were. Have you gained a lot of confidence? Did your friends used to take advantage of you and now you're a stronger person? It could be a lot more than just your weight, but that's what they are choosing to pick on. Does your doctor think you're healthy? Family members? I wouldn't let what one or two people say bother me too much.

FAVORED1

You've got it! Do what makes you Healthy and Happy.... WTG ;0)

mizjohnston

Are you really or what is it? I am 31 and all my life I've had weight issues. I was always the heavy girl. When I turned 19, I was 210 pounds. I was done with it. I lost 60 pounds and since I have gotten pregnant lost it all again and still struggle with the last 10 - 15. I now weigh 142 and would like to lose 10 more and I will. Anyway, I have 4 really close friends. 1 is happy and says I look awesome and never says anything else ( I am her inspiration she says ) Another saw me go through everything and is happy but says she likes me at 160. The 3rd one hasn't seen me forever and finally saw me and says you are far too skiiny. The last is my closest, she says I am fragile, too skinny and that she wants to know when I am going to realize that it is a problem that I way less then her 13 year old daughter who is 144 (solid muscle mind you) I just don't know. All of them way 200 plus and I can't believe it is jealousy of any sort. The one that says I'm far too skinny and the other that I mentioned with the daughter has always been confident about their weight. I know they love me but I don't get it. I weigh 142, wear a size 11 in juniors and 8 in women. I barely made it to a "safe" BMI. I am happy and I am not going to let it stop me I just wish they could be happy and not want to sabotage. Guess I am venting and looking to hear other peoples experience.

ydeleon

Agree with above. How tall are you? As long as you are within your healthy BMI, and YOU are happy, then let the comments just roll off. You worked hard to get there, don't worry about what anyone else says, even if they are close friends.

mizjohnston

How tall are you? 142 is a nice healthy weight but it is in no way too skinny, except maybe for somebody who is quite tall.

I am 5'4 that is why I don't understand it. The highest I should be is 145.

jumperchick

im wondering as well !

im 5'2.5" and weight 122.5. people are always telling me i look like skin and bones or that i need to get some meat on my bones. i feel like im kinda chubby and could lose a few more lbs....i never know what to make of it =/

doobabe

Based on what you said- it doesnt sound like your "too skinny". I've had people say this to me too- and I've learned to brush it off.
Sometimes thats is a persons way of "complimenting you", and sometimes its meant to take away from your success and make them feel better.

Congrats on your success! )

RonneyKay

I was going to ask that too, how tall are you?

I doubt your friends are jealous. They may just be concerned. I have this one friend that no matter how much she loses it's never enough, and that concerns me. She always says "5 more lbs, 5 more lbs, 5 more lbs" I keep telling her that if she loses any more weight she will be transparent.

Also if your hip bones are sticking out, IMO is too skinny.

but thats just me.

ronney

mizjohnston

I am 5'4, that is why I don't understand. the highest I should be is 5'4

val071418

When you figure it out let me know!! I have only lost 22 pounds. Still pretty meaty and want to lose another 30 pounds and that will put me in the high end of my recommended BMI. My best friend says I am completely obsessed and no reason to lose so much weight!! Annoying, I totally feel your pain! Good luck and do what you know is right!!

bcattoes

I think this is often just the "shock" (for lack of a better word) of seeing someone so much smaller than you are used to seeing them. They see the improvement rather than any need for further improvement.

tonlynn

I can't tell you if you are too thin because I don't know how tall you are, but a size 8 sounds just about perfect to me... if you are really concerned I would ask your doctor. Chances are they are just not used to the way you look and are concerned. I am 5 ' 4" and 144 (trying for 135) and just hit a size 8/9 and none of my friends have said that I am too thin- although they have been calling me the incredible shrinking woman

RonneyKay

How tall are you? 142 is a nice healthy weight but it is in no way too skinny, except maybe for somebody who is quite tall.

I am 5'4 that is why I don't understand it. The highest I should be is 145.

then I doubt you are too skinny? But your friends are not used to seeing you this way.. so they may just be concerned. If they are your true friends, I doubt jealousy is an issue.

Ronney

quietlywinning

It's a whole different mindset. At some point you may need to tell them you appreciate their views, but they are incorrect in their assessment of what is a healthy weight for you. Show them the charts, if you truly believe they have your best interest at heart, and then ask them to please stop the comments and criticisms. They may not see it as criticism at all, but that is what they are doing and if you put it that way, there is a better chance they will see that and back off.

You need to be healthy. They get to choose what weight they feel their best, and you get to choose yours. Ask them to respect your decision as you respect theirs. And if that doesn't work, answer each comment with a corresponding one. "You need to gain some weight back!" Response: "I'm happy with my weight, but YOURS I am concerned about. Can we talk about your fast food habit?" If they don't want to talk about their weight, they may decide it's okay to leave the whole subject off limits!

mizjohnston

Sorry don't know how to reply individually lol. I have had it off for a while. They just don't let up. I still go out and eat the same with them I just exercise more those day. I don't think my confidence changed, I dress different but not in anything revealing. Funny thing is I had more confidence at 200 I just new it was unhealthy. Family nor the doctor says anything and I know I am not too skinny. Thanks for all the comments it really helps. :flowerforyou:

Anita1271

I had the same thing happen to me. Some of my friends were happy for me and a few said I was too skinny. Even my mom and brother were telling me I was too skinny, but my husband said I wasn't and that I was doing a good job. But I let what my mom and brother get to me, and that started making me get off the weight loss wagon. I may not be the weight they 'think' I should weigh, but I'm happy in my skin...well not since I got off the wagon LOL...I gotta get back to it! Do what makes YOU happy!

rml_16

I think sometimes people get used to seeing you a certain weight and it's a shock to see you thinner and different.

I weighed 102 pounds when I was pregnant (morning sickness) and was between 110-120 most of my life. Then I gained quite a bit and when I lost most of it (into the 130s) my mother accused me of being anorexic. I'm 5'3", so 132 pounds is NOT supr skinny. She just got used to seeing me heavier for a while and it was a shock.

ML0305

I am 5'4, that is why I don't understand. the highest I should be is 5'4

I'm 5'3" and weigh 143. My goal is 140 then maybe 135lbs. I have gotten the same response from people who are close to me even my hubby thinks I'm losing too much weight but I disagree. I think you shouldn't let it bother you and keep doing what you are doing. As long as you are happy ...nothing else should matter. Some people just dont know how to deal with change!!

Great job and good luck!

santini1975

Losing weight makes people happy and self confident! You worked hard and feel accomplished. Along with this comes: a cuter wardrobe, lots of compliments from those who knew you when you were heavier, attention from the opposite sex, and a desire to be more outgoing. Maybe your friends arent "jealous" of how great you look, but they might prefer the more withdrawn person you used to be.
My fiance LOOOVES that he can pick me up and carry me around now, but he cringes when I dress up to go out. He knows some bone-head is gonna gawk at me. My bff is no longer the one getting all the attention from men. My mom cant make snide remarks about my weight, so now she bugs me about whether or not I'm healthy.
Screw 'em. It's new to them now, but they will get used to the happy, thin you and they wil move on.

Jeff92se

There's no picture reference so hard to say

And you should be avoiding the BMI and get your bodyfat % done. That will probably have a better bearing at what your "ideal" weight should be.

bens_mommy

Are your friends taller in comparison to you? In high school, my best friends were 5'4" and below and very petite, and I'm 5'8.5" and very curvy. I always felt MASSIVE compared to them (even though I was a healthy weight for myself) because they wore size 0 jeans, when in reality, it's just that our body makeup is different. I always thought they were sooo skinny, but it's just the fact that I was comparing my height and curves to tiny girls.

Maybe they're experiencing the same kind of view?

tpycha126

I am 5'4" and at my highest I was 158 lbs my lowest 117 lbs. I am now down to 125 trying to lose 5 more. I've had a few people tell me that I looked better when I was heavier, and that I shouldn't lose anymore weight. But they don't have to live in my body. I want to be comfortable and proud in my own body. I am just finally getting my self confidence back. I say do what you think is best for you and ignore their comments. I'm sure most of what they say is out of jealousy.

heathersmilez

Ask yourself this;

Is your BMI healthy?
Is your BF healthy and at least 17-18%?
Do you eat at least 1200 cals a day?

If the answer is YES to all of those, SCREW THEM! You are right, they are wrong - but they are your friends, try replacing my phrase screw you with something nicer, LOL!

ldennett

If all your friends weigh 200 lbs or more, they may have come to think of that weight as "normal" and therefore you do look ridiculously skinny to them - no jealously involved.
My boss, who I would consider to be at her ideal weight, went to Singapore and when she tried on clothes, she was told by the salesperson that they didn't carry XXL. Obviously I have a different view of normal than that sales clerk does.

heathersmilez

My boss, who I would consider to be at her ideal weight, went to Singapore and when she tried on clothes, she was told by the salesperson that they didn't carry XXL. Obviously I have a different view of normal than that sales clerk does.

This remainds me of a Russell Peters joke that is too funny, youtube it if you can.

He needed pants while on tour in China and needed a 36 and the sales person said (add accent here) "Noooooo!You TOOOO BIG! Come back when you are a size 33 NO BIGGER!"

I learned the hard way not to buy OSFA (one size) dresses from China on ebay. I fell in love, figured it would work since all their dresses are empire waist and flouncy, it cut off my ability to breathe since i'm a 34D and it was meant for an A maybe a B cup. Ah well, resold for profit on Craigs List, love CL!

Cathleenr

i'm currently 5'11 and 147, BF is about 19%. when people say i'm "thin", i correct them and tell them i'm 'lean'. they are slowly getting the idea, i think, especially when i flex

MissGoHard

I think that when we change our eating and exercise habits, basically our lifestyle, those closest to us are forced to look at their own. The more we change our lifestyle and the more we change (or lose weight), the more evident it is that theirs perhaps needs to also and they don't like that.

You are not way to skinny, you are healthy.

I understand where you are coming from because its hard to let comments from your closests friends just roll off your back, but unless one of your friends is a certified doctor I would just keep it moving You have to be happy in your skin!

mizjohnston

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