venting about my ed, move along unless you are open minded.

dirtbikegirl5

Hi, Friend:

I felt compelled to respond to your post as I have been through what you are going through. I can tell you that it is possible for this disease to leave you physically, but it doesn't leave you mentally. But, you have to remember that your mind can be stronger than this disease.
I also learned about this disease in health class. However, I knew of it even before that. I started starving myself at 11 years old. I was anorexic for a very long time and then I learned to binge and purge.
Everyone's recovery is different. I started working with a psychologist when I was 16 and he immediately referred me to a psychiatrist for anti-depressants. I stayed drugged and I hated that. I hated talking about what I was doing, hated having to share in the group, hated being in a hospital where an orderly had to sit with me to ensure that I ate my salad and hated having some woman go into bathroom with me to be sure that I did not vomit. My lowest weight was 53 pounds. I was 70 pounds when I was 20. I am 5'2". Just like you, I knew that I needed help but I hated having to go on this long journey from A to Z in order to get better.
I won't tell you that you need to get help because you know that you still do and you have already gotten it. I will tell you not to give up on it. You are going to do better than the average person who helps others with eating disorders because your experience is not only going to be from books, it is personal for you.
I am 40 years old and I weigh 99 pounds. I feel healthy and I feel like I eat healthy. I work out every day and I embrace my anorexic thoughts. I just refuse to give into them. It has been almost 30 years for me and I learned that I will never be rid of this disease but that is okay because I can manage it and I will manage it every single day. You can and you will succeed in telling this disease that you are in control of it, not the other way around.