Might as well live in a dang bubble!!!
chicagocubsfan23
Posts: 186
Hubby and I are pregnant with our first baby, about 7 weeks along. I am getting so fed up with our families giving us their 2 cents on everything I should do and what I better not do. First they're telling me I can't go to the gym anymore. My doctor said it's good to go, it's not like I'm lifting 500 lb weights and doing jumping jacks at the same time. They said, don't paint your nails the chemicals will soak into your blood system! My doctor said it's fine, I can paint my nails. Now they're on my case because I'm not planning on getting a flu shot. I've never gotten a flu shot before, the only time I ever get sick is because of my allergies and sinuses in the spring. My mom said I'm fine, I don't have to get one if I don't want one. I'm healthy and get the nutrients I need to stay healthy. My husband's sister is FREAKING out because I don't plan on getting one. I plan to talk to the doctor in a few weeks when we go, but my friend who just had her baby this summer had the same doctor and she didn't get one. Next pregnancy I'm not telling anybody but hubby, I'll just hide away for 9 months and then show up one day with a new baby. I know it's my first pregnancy, but I'm tired of everybody telling me what to do and what not to do when they aren't my doctor.
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Congratulations! And it sounds like you might want to set some advice boundaries now, or it will only get worse after the baby - haha.
I had never heard the one about nail polish chemicals seeping into your blood stream, seems like if that were truly a concern, it should be as much about women's health as babies' health.0 -
Get used to it, only gets worse when baby is born. :laugh:
Congratulations on the baby! :flowerforyou:0 -
Try to remember what their intentions are.0
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Congratulations! And it sounds like you might want to set some advice boundaries now, or it will only get worse after the baby - haha.
I had never heard the one about nail polish chemicals seeping into your blood stream, seems like if that were truly a concern, it should be as much about women's health as babies' health.
I'm very afraid of his mom trying to take over after we have the baby. His two sisters both have kids, but they're single and well, they like to go out, so his parents practically raise their 3 grandchildren. I don't agree with about 95% of the things his mom does with the kids. When my cousin had her daughter she went out all of the time, and I basically raised her daughter, so while this is my first child, it really isn't my first parenting experience. My husband and I have talked and we know how we are going to raise our kids. It is NOT how his parents raise their grandchildren. Or how his sisters raise their kids.
His one sister was mad because if it's a girl, we're decorating the room in Winnie the Pooh and she doesn't like Pooh. Seriously!? Last I checked this was our baby not hers, and she is absolutely irate about it she said she refuses to buy any Pooh stuff for our kid at all. Fine, don't, I don't care, but we're still decorating the room in Pooh0 -
Everyone loves to give a pregnant woman advice, share their experiences, or list off things you can't do! All you can do is educate yourself and make decisions for yourself. It gets worse the further along you are, and even after the baby is born. Everyone has great intentions, but they tend to go about it the wrong way. I just got to the point where I politely thanked them for their concern, and I will take the issue up with my doctor!
Congrats on the pregnancy and best of luck!!0 -
A woman I go to the gym with was doing Yoga and Kickboxing up until the week she had the baby. She wore a heartrate monitor and stayed within the limits the doctor set for her. She was amazing.0
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Congratulations on the pregnancy- very exciting! It sounds like they have good intentions, but I can understand it can be frustrating. They just want what THEY think is the best for you and the baby (probably more the baby....hahaha). It's okay to set some boundaries, but let them know that you appreciate all their advice. Try to always listen to others' adivce, meaning "hear" it. You don't always have to follow it, but those of us a little older may have some worthy things to share sometimes.0
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I remember how annoying that was! I'm going to play devil's advocate a little here though and say that they do recommend pregnant women getting the flu shot as precautionary because IF for some reason you did get it (your immune system is a little lower when pregnant) it can be extremely dangerous to the fetus. I doubt you'll get it like you said, but in that case it kind of is a might as well get it just incase kind of thing... IMO. You know.. better safe than sorry thing. Most of the other stuff if old wives tales. And man, I wish i had worked out while pregnant (which is definitely healthy, especially if your body is used to it and you aren't high risk) If i had, I wouldn't have gained so much weight and had bad joint problems. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months!0
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First it will be family and then the farther along you get people at the grocery store will stop you and want to tell you horror stories about their birth experience and rub your belly. Get ready...LOL..... Congratulations on your first little one!!0
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Their intentions are the best, butt go to your doctor and talk these things through with him or her. I honestly don't know if a flu shot is recommended during pregnancy, but the Doc will know better than your Mom, cousins, friends etc.
My wife found some comfort in the groups on Babycenter.com0 -
I would take their advice w/ a grain of salt and probably just flat not mention ANYTHING about dr. visits.
It is imperative that you establish boundaries early on, it is well worth it. I'm not saying you have to use spray paint and say "Don't cross this line or else" - there are nice, Miss Manners ways of establishing boundaries.
In regards to the crazy SILs - blow them off. They're upset about what? Pooh is a freakin' cartoon, and if she's upset about something so lame, she's too immature to have an actual rational conversation with.0 -
I remember how annoying that was! I'm going to play devil's advocate a little here though and say that they do recommend pregnant women getting the flu shot as precautionary because IF for some reason you did get it (your immune system is a little lower when pregnant) it can be extremely dangerous to the fetus. I doubt you'll get it like you said, but in that case it kind of is a might as well get it just incase kind of thing... IMO. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months!
I know it's recommended, but everybody I know who has gotten the shot, well, they get the flu. Since I don't really get sick, ever, I'd rather not take the chance that the shot will make me sick0 -
I would take their advice w/ a grain of salt and probably just flat not mention ANYTHING about dr. visits.
It is imperative that you establish boundaries early on, it is well worth it. I'm not saying you have to use spray paint and say "Don't cross this line or else" - there are nice, Miss Manners ways of establishing boundaries.
In regards to the crazy SILs - blow them off. They're upset about what? Pooh is a freakin' cartoon, and if she's upset about something so lame, she's too immature to have an actual rational conversation with.
Well if it's a boy, we're doing monkeys. She told me if it's a girl we could still do monkeys. Then said she doesn't like Pooh because he's not educational. Umm, and monkeys are? They throw poop for crying out loud lol0 -
Come up with a canned response..."Wow! I never thought of that! Thanks for the advice!" Or something. You don't have to tell them everything you are doing or not doing...just thank them and move on.0
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First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!! Second of all they are only telling you all this because they have heard it... Humor them, they are excited for you. blah-blah-blah just let it go in one ear, smile and nod, and tell them oh, what a great idea. They just want to be involved. So involve them, but still do what you feel is going to be right for you and your baby.
And really, who doesn't like pooh? and then call the baby Winnie... she'll blow a gasket. You know i am kidding... just smile and and nod. She doesn't have to buy Pooh stuff... You'll be needing a Diaper bag or a sling or something else right? Oh but wait, the baby could suffocate in the sling... :bigsmile:0 -
Come up with a canned response..."Wow! I never thought of that! Thanks for the advice!" Or something. You don't have to tell them everything you are doing or not doing...just thank them and move on.
Yea that's what I normally do. I am just having a crappy day I think lol. Everybody is making me mad, I just want to go home and be alone. I don't know why, maybe it's the raging hormones? Lol0 -
Decorate with Pooh or whatever you and the hubby choose. Everybody thinks they know best especially the mother's. You just need to learn to say Oh Really , Ok and then go home and do what is best for your family. The mother's always want to say well when you were little we did not do that or you didn't act that way is one I hear alot..LOL... Do your own thing Mommy!!! :flowerforyou:0
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CONGRATS!!
Anytime over the next 9 months you have some complaining to do just remember that there will be plenty of us on here (myself included) that will listen to your vents and support you & el' baby.
My husband and I just got married two months ago and it was unbelievable how many people gave speeches and mentioned how excited they were to have us start poppin out babies. each time we both had this face and kept refilling our champagne glasses. :P So I can't even imagine what it's going to be like.
Health news changes just about every week so just sticking to what your doctor says will prolly be your best bet, just know that your family is telling you things that you should/shouldn't do just because they care and want to be involved. As far as the sister with the Winnie-the-Pooh hatred (which I'm pretty sure is illegal in like 30 states...WHO HATES WINNIE?!) she can politely take her opinions and shove them. ^_^
Congrats again. ;D0 -
And really, who doesn't like pooh? and then call the baby Winnie... she'll blow a gasket.
bahahahaah! best peice of advice ever. AND you know how so many people refer to the baby as peanut until they know the gender because well, it looks like a peanut? you should refer to it as piglet instead.
I do want to say congrats though. And I'm with everyone else. Know that the advice is given with good intentions but that ultimately the decisions are all yours. Besides, if you do want/need advice, you've got MFP and you know we're all full of advice and opinions!0 -
Haha, hiding till you have the baby won't work...the 'helpful advice' only gets worse after you have the kid. You may as well hone your 'not giving a damn what they think' skills now.
You should have seen the look on my MIL's face when I put my foot down and told her I don't believe in circumcision...she was convinced my son would die of phimosis before he made it to kindergarten. However, she finally got accustomed to the idea that I have the final say in my son's raising whether he's 'Her Grandson' or not, and we've built a pretty healthy, open relationship.0 -
Congratulations on your pregnancy!:happy: :flowerforyou:
Step One: Get mom and dad on the same page.....Oh wait you already are. That's about it.
Speaking as a the mother of four and grandma to two with a degree in Early Childhood I think that it's ok to set limits if your family doesn't. Even though I have many years of experience and education in pregnancy, babies and children, I never give advise to my DIL or son regarding pregnacy or parenting. I follow their parenting style, though it's close to mine. If they ask for help I step up and help but what your family is doing is grounds for you to say, "Stop now!"
My DIL used Pooh in her nursery too. :happy:
So in spite of everything I just said here's my advice (since you're not carrying my grandchild):
1 try to stay calm.
2. Yes, hormones can be a part of this.
3. Have fun and enjoy your pregnancy with your husband. :flowerforyou: Yaaay for you!0 -
Congratulations! And it sounds like you might want to set some advice boundaries now, or it will only get worse after the baby - haha.
I had never heard the one about nail polish chemicals seeping into your blood stream, seems like if that were truly a concern, it should be as much about women's health as babies' health.
I'm very afraid of his mom trying to take over after we have the baby. His two sisters both have kids, but they're single and well, they like to go out, so his parents practically raise their 3 grandchildren. I don't agree with about 95% of the things his mom does with the kids. When my cousin had her daughter she went out all of the time, and I basically raised her daughter, so while this is my first child, it really isn't my first parenting experience. My husband and I have talked and we know how we are going to raise our kids. It is NOT how his parents raise their grandchildren. Or how his sisters raise their kids.
His one sister was mad because if it's a girl, we're decorating the room in Winnie the Pooh and she doesn't like Pooh. Seriously!? Last I checked this was our baby not hers, and she is absolutely irate about it she said she refuses to buy any Pooh stuff for our kid at all. Fine, don't, I don't care, but we're still decorating the room in Pooh
Hee hee - If I were you, I'd be tempted to decorate my whole house in Pooh. Good luck!0 -
Congrats on your pregnancy. If I was in your shoes I'd say something evil like "Oh congratulations, when did you get your medical license?" Or how about "I didn't know you went to medical school, let me get a pen and paper and write this all down!" Get your boundaries set now because before you know it you MIL will be buying your child those jeans you said no to them having. Good luck and stay strong!0
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Thank them for their concerns and tell them that you want to enjoy your pregnancy to the fullest and you can't if they plan to nitpick all the way through.
People will always offer suggestions on how to raise children. You have to define the parameters, so that your family knows the best way to give them and will know that you will not always agree with nor want to hear them. You might get some good advice along the way, so don't block it out completely. But, see what you can do to find a buffer zone that is comfortable for you.
How's that sound?0 -
Come up with a canned response..."Wow! I never thought of that! Thanks for the advice!" Or something. You don't have to tell them everything you are doing or not doing...just thank them and move on.
Exactly!!!0 -
Yes. And think about how you can handle the situation:Try to remember what their intentions are.
* Thank them for their concern, and say you'll consider their advice (love the Pooh idea!)
* Say you'll check with your doctor, as you are strictly following his/her directions
* Don't provide them with detail about which aspect of their advice you are following
* Prepare a few topics for discussion which will turn the focus of the conversation onto them (or somebody else) - that's what I've tried in the past
* Consider limiting your visits to them for the next few months - you could always say you don't want to get stressed (knowing that its not the journey that's the trouble, but the visit!),
And consider writing a humorous book when its all over!0 -
I remember how annoying that was! I'm going to play devil's advocate a little here though and say that they do recommend pregnant women getting the flu shot as precautionary because IF for some reason you did get it (your immune system is a little lower when pregnant) it can be extremely dangerous to the fetus. I doubt you'll get it like you said, but in that case it kind of is a might as well get it just incase kind of thing... IMO. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months!
I know it's recommended, but everybody I know who has gotten the shot, well, they get the flu. Since I don't really get sick, ever, I'd rather not take the chance that the shot will make me sick
Congrats on the baby
My hubby and I got our first flu shots after my daughter was born and I have never been that sick in my life. Hubbs and I got sick about 5 times that winter. I will never do it again, and I haven't had the flu since.0 -
Don't engage. Smile and nod, say thank you, change the subject... or flat-out say "This is not up for discussion." And now would be a good time to perfect a raised-eyebrow expression that says NO. But whatever you do, don't argue about it. Arguing sends the message that they have a right to tell you what to do, and that you somehow have to win the argument before you can do what you want.0
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Ditto - and then when you start showing and the baby is here...then you get it from strangers too. Just nod your head and move onGet used to it, only gets worse when baby is born. :laugh:
Congratulations on the baby! :flowerforyou:0 -
Tell them to mind their own business! Don't try to argue or defend yourself. They don't deserve that much. They are implying that you're incompetent, you know that, right? I'd tell them to back off, and if they don't make it one more week before they meet the baby. Just avoid annoying relatives for your entire pregnancy if you must.0
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