Please help me...

Lizchan

I am doing this more for someone I love than myself... so that he won't hurt me anymore... he has harmed me in so many ways over my weight. My parents even call me a fat piece of crud and stuff. I have been laughed at in public numerous times. I live in Florida, many people are under a healthy weight here. So being overweight or obese is bad.

These are unhealthy relationships. You deserve better. YOU DESERVE BETTER!! Being overweight isn't good on many levels - you know that, and most of the people on this site know this personally, as well - that's why most of us are here. But, it is not a justification for people treating you badly or calling you names. That's bullying, plain and simple. I wish you could get away from these people. You may love them, but they are toxic if they are driving you to such extremes.

I know therapy hasn't worked for you in the past, but I think you might want to talk to someone about your relationships with these people. I don't think you necessarily need therapy dealing with your weight, but I do think having someone work with you on your self esteem is a good idea. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

I am trying. I asked for help here because I can't always do it on my own. Therapists take breaks. They aren't open on weekends, unfortunately. Everyone needs their rest... and I understand that. But I miss what I used to be.

I was a size 2/4 and now I am a size 12/14... dear god. Plus sized stores only. I can ALMOST fit in normal pants and that is so irritating when I can almost fit in them... just ALMOST... just like an inch or two and I could be in their size 10/12... that is gutwrenching to me. Oh, it makes me so sick inside!

Anyway... I want to be skinny so that I will be able to care about myself again. It's hard to even brush my teeth... I do it twice a day, but I always think... why do I bother? Why do I brush my hair? Why do I get out of bed? Why do I do anything to take care of myself? I guess I don't want to feel gross and that's why I do it. So that I will feel gross about my weight, but not hygiene... but seriously, that's the only reason that I can find to do these things. It's getting that bad. I have been to quite a few therapists. I will still look for more... but it's hard to find good ones. I drive and drive and drive to go to doctors..

Laura8603

You sure have a lot of issues for someone who is only 20. You say you're going to a counselor. If this one is not helping you, find another. Your whole life is ahead of you. Go to school or get a job, but you need to do something instead of sitting around the house all day feeling sorry for yourself and obsessing about your weight. I hope you find the help you need.

Lizchan

You sure have a lot of issues for someone who is only 20. You say you're going to a counselor. If this one is not helping you, find another. Your whole life is ahead of you. Go to school or get a job, but you need to do something instead of sitting around the house all day feeling sorry for yourself and obsessing about your weight. I hope you find the help you need.

I am doing the best I can... I will be going to college when I can. I'm moving to Washington state to go to college. I do artwork and design... I would like to do better with that one day..

I do not feel like ME, myself, not at all, being this fat. This is not me. Trust me... fat is not me...

PinkAndSparkle

First, you need to know that you're not alone in your struggles. There are MANY people on here (including myself) who have tried less-than-healthy ways to weight loss, and have felt the same sadness and hopelessness.

Second, have you thought about seeking out a therapist? While you'll get some support here, sometimes professional support (in additional to personal) can be extremely helpful and enlightening. And there's absolutely no shame in looking for professional help. The feelings that we tie to our bodies can be REALLY hard to sort out, and sometimes an outsider can help the most.

Third, my completely unprofessional opinion is that you're not eating enough. Fill your body with foods that are nutritious: 500 calories of a salad with grilled chicken is totally different than 500 calories of marshmallows (but I'm not saying that this is what you're doing! I haven't peeked at your diary.). The whole "1200 minimum" has gotten a lot of varied reactions from this community (just search for it-- there's been a LOT of debate), but I eat quite a bit more than that, and all of my exercise calories back, but I know that that's what works for me. It seems like you've seen that eating very little doesn't work for your body, so try to be willing to try something different.

Friend me for support, if you'd like. Getting into healthy habits (not just weight loss) can be a very long road, but it will be worth it in the end.

I won't go to a therapist again for this. Already tried. They told me I don't have to lose weight. I DO NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. I HAVE NO CHOICE. I am sick over my weight. I felt fine until I got fat. That is when my SEVERE depression and arthritis started. I lost a lot of my strength very fast. I have been from doctor to doctor looking for a medical condition and they can't find one.

The therapists all say the exact same thing. You look fine. Yeah, you're a little big, but so what.

It matters SO much to me because my family has a history of diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure... a lot of disease caused by becoming overweight! This is a big, big, big deal. It has also taken a serious toll on my ability to do all the things I'd like to do. Such as maybe one day, wear a bikini... or have a boyfriend who won't call me a fat***. Stuff like that. Why must this be IMPOSSIBLE to obtain!?

Then you need to find a different therapist. And know that a therapist won't tell you what you want to hear all the time. He will never say "You're definitely fat, lose weight" but rather help you figure out what's causing so much stress in your life...because it's probably something deeper than weight gain.
I have struggled with weight my whole life, and you sound a lot like me. Weight gain is scary, and so is weight loss...especially since it takes time and hard work...but you need to decide that you want to do it the right way. If you starve yourself now...what will you do when you lose a bunch of weight? My advice is to get yourself to your primary care doctor and ask them to refer you to an eating disorder team, which should include a nutritionist and a counselor. You can do this. Feel free to add me if you need more support!

dad106

I am doing this more for someone I love than myself... so that he won't hurt me anymore... he has harmed me in so many ways over my weight. My parents even call me a fat piece of crud and stuff. I have been laughed at in public numerous times. I live in Florida, many people are under a healthy weight here. So being overweight or obese is bad.

These are unhealthy relationships. You deserve better. YOU DESERVE BETTER!! Being overweight isn't good on many levels - you know that, and most of the people on this site know this personally, as well - that's why most of us are here. But, it is not a justification for people treating you badly or calling you names. That's bullying, plain and simple. I wish you could get away from these people. You may love them, but they are toxic if they are driving you to such extremes.

I know therapy hasn't worked for you in the past, but I think you might want to talk to someone about your relationships with these people. I don't think you necessarily need therapy dealing with your weight, but I do think having someone work with you on your self esteem is a good idea. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

I am trying. I asked for help here because I can't always do it on my own. Therapists take breaks. They aren't open on weekends, unfortunately. Everyone needs their rest... and I understand that. But I miss what I used to be.

I was a size 2/4 and now I am a size 12/14... dear god. Plus sized stores only. I can ALMOST fit in normal pants and that is so irritating when I can almost fit in them... just ALMOST... just like an inch or two and I could be in their size 10/12... that is gutwrenching to me. Oh, it makes me so sick inside!

Anyway... I want to be skinny so that I will be able to care about myself again. It's hard to even brush my teeth... I do it twice a day, but I always think... why do I bother? Why do I brush my hair? Why do I get out of bed? Why do I do anything to take care of myself? I guess I don't want to feel gross and that's why I do it. So that I will feel gross about my weight, but not hygiene... but seriously, that's the only reason that I can find to do these things. It's getting that bad. I have been to quite a few therapists. I will still look for more... but it's hard to find good ones. I drive and drive and drive to go to doctors..

Uh, 12/14 isn't really plus sized hun... There are plenty of normal stores that you could shop in, that carry a 12 or 14.

I know you said you've seen therapists and doctors, but as someone who has a degree is psychology, I can tell you what your feeling is not normal and really need to get a second(or third or fourth) opinion. Go see someone who specializes in eating disorders and body dysmorphia.. because to me, it sounds like you have a touch of both anorexia and body dysmorphia.

I was like you.. I was a 6 and then suddenly ballooned up to a 10/12 because I ate too much and didn't exercise enough. I've now lost that weight but I've realized that I have to do this the right way.. and that quick fixes don't work. Skinny isn't everything it's cracked up to be.. esp. if you make yourself sick or dead to get there.

Konpeito

From what it looks like, and I have read many of the posts so far, it seems that whatever anyone suggests to you isn't good enough. When I read your original post I had some good advice in mind to give you, so I read some of the replies so I wouldn't sound redundant. So many people took the time to hear your story and give you excellent advice, and each time you reply by whining more.

Sorry, but you need to hear this. By seeing how defensive you have been to most advice, I would bet that you have not yet tried a healthy diet and healthy exercise regimen. No, this does not meaning eating a little and exercising a lot. I bet you confused the heck out of your body by all these crazy regimens you've been doing.

Eat in moderation, exercise in moderation. I'm betting you will say that you've already done this, and it hasn't worked. If that is actually the case, you need to see a doctor. Bring up the possibility of a thyroid issue.

I really have been doing this.

I eat things like black grapes, whole wheat bread with at least 4g of fiber, fat free milk and cereal, oatmeal, boiled eggs, salads with little dressing, no cheese. If I am eating bad, I eat a cheese stick or have a few sips of soda. I drink mainly water. The last time I had soda was weeks ago. I try my best to drink four to six bottled waters a day.

For exercise, I use my Wii Fit for a few hours a day most days, I do stretches with resistance bands, I walk at LEAST a mile a day every day. I try to get to 10,000 steps on my pedometer. I don't ALWAYS do it, but I do most days.

I have been to a doctor, explained to them the situation, they have ran numerous tests, they ran more that they never ran before recently. I can't get those results back 'til I go back to them the week after this upcoming week. They are testing me for Cushing's disease. They said my thyroid and everything else appears to be fine. They were a little alarmed at my heart. There is a layer of fat on our hearts. The layer of fat on mine is kind of thin and I have a heart murmur that I haven't always had.

I have been doing everything I can, please trust me on this. I spend every day on my life trying to fix this. It's been like this for a long time.

You don't understand. I read a lot online. About the REASON I got fat... which was Depo Provera birth control shot. Most of those people haven't even done as well as I have. I've been doing the very, very best I can. I wasn't eating bad, I don't enjoy eating bad. I was very active and still gained weight. There really are others like me.

First of all don't start taking diet pills they are very bad for you! Second stress might be your problum i have heard people gain weight very easy when they are stressed so just calm down. And lastly dump however your with if he tells you that.

dimpleschick

I am a medical profession. Please see your doctor right away. A nutritionist could help you with diet plans and goals, what foods to eat and recipes for a healthy lifestyle. You must eat at least 1000 calories a day or your body will think you are starving and start breaking down your muscles.

Next start by taking baby steps to your mailbox, then down the street and around the block. Get your body moving so you can tone your muscles and start burning calories.

You are not alone in your journey. There is lots of support on this website, but you need immediate help to get started properly. Please call your doctor for an appointment and be a little kinder to yourself.

KyleB65

First and most important. No matter what you weigh or look like you are a valuable human being. As hard as it may be to comprehend, do not judge yourself by what you look like! People come in all different shapes, sizes & colors (perhaps not so many in purple, but you get what I mean!).

Next, from my experience, weight loss for the sake of losing weight is a losing proposition. I have tried, and failed, at dieting several times in my life. What I suggest, is to frame the issue as a life style change. Not a diet that has a beginning and an end. Rather, series of interconnected decisions to live healthier. Part of this change is to become familiar with what you eat and how it affects your well being. As you begin to understand the "consequences" involved with certain eating choices, adjust those that are not moving you forward, towards your goals.

As you get a handle on what, how, when and how much you eat. Start looking at exercise, find something that you enjoy, walking, swimming, biking, dancing, yoga, weights, etc, etc. If it takes a couple of tries to find something you enjoy, so what! As long as you start adding a little movement into each day.

I guarantee that as you start refining your choices each day, you will start to lose excess weight. And, as you add in exercise, you will gain in physical strength along with self confidence.

Be prepared for good & bad days and from time to time weeks. Do not let this deter your effort or resolve. YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH WHAT EVER YOU SET YOUR MIND TOO!

Bets of luck on your journey.

ejtell

I'm not a professional but have battled weight and self-esteem issues my whole life. From the profile pic, you look lovely and deserve to be happy about yourself and your life. I know it feels like life is all about weight and it is hard to escape that pressure, but as long as you are "healthy" and balanced, that's all that matters. Find contentment in your own skin. I'd suggest getting help from a trained therapist (social worker) and/or nutritionist who can steer you in the right direction both in terms of perception of self and eating habits. Weight watchers is terrific and some health insurance plans will cover the costs. Their approach is about high fiber and lot fat which gives you more food for the calories so look at the relationship of those and choose foods you like that are high fiber but low fat. In terms of sugar, I've heard if you keep sugar as the 4th ingredient but never higher than that, the food is fine. For me, portion control is more important than what I eat. I can make a healthy meal and then consume way too much of it.

Go to a factual website like weight watchers or buy one of their cookbooks and follow the portion sizes and foods there. They have great tasting stuff and if you like to cook it is fun. I find cooking and reading food magazines or watching shows helps me "enjoy" food without eating it.

But most of all, be good to yourself, accept yourself and set realistic goals. You sound like you are being way too hard on yourself. Life is too short for that. Good luck.