The **** your family says

goodmonster

When I was young my uncle told me that if a girl lifted weights they would look like Bo Abobo from Double Dragon.
For those of you who don't know what the eff I'm talking about:


Yeah. Gross.

So what other completely random/untrue/awkward things have your family members told you?

ronda_gettinghealthy

my grandad said if I kissed my elbow I would turn into a boy....

StaceyL76

My dad used to tell me to eat (insert food of your choice) because it would grow hair on my chest!

As if that was an incentive for a young gal.. maybe if he would have said breasts.. it would have worked.

Contrarian

My dad told me that a jellyfish ate my sunhat when it blew off the end of a pier. I now know that jellyfish are incapable of eating sunhats.

rochey1098

My gran told me that when I lie I get a spot on my tongue. I asked her about it recently and she said that she always knew when I was lying because I'd poke my tongue out in the mirror lol

ronda_gettinghealthy

My gran told me that when I lie I get a spot on my tongue. I asked her about it recently and she said that she always knew when I was lying because I'd poke my tongue out in the mirror lol

yep I remember Lie bumps...

CakeFit21

My dad told me that Santa was shot down by the Russians.

It's my favorite story to tell about my father.

CastleMadeOfSand

My dad told me that Santa was shot down by the Russians.

It's my favorite story to tell about my father.

Lolololololol

ummommyme

My dad told me that a jellyfish ate my sunhat when it blew off the end of a pier. I now know that jellyfish are incapable of eating sunhats.

hehe, that made me giggle!

joanneeee

When I was young my uncle told me that if a girl lifted weights they would look like Bo Abobo from Double Dragon.
For those of you who don't know what the eff I'm talking about:


Yeah. Gross.

So what other completely random/untrue/awkward things have your family members told you?

it's true though. i actually look like this.

TDGee

"Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."

TDGee

"Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."

TDGee

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."







Both stolen from **** my Dad Says

Stacera

watching football one time as a family a player tripped and went down, wasn't even tackled and my G-ma said, "He went down like a warm, sweet roll" crazy ol G-ma!

My mom occasionally says. "It's as hot as diner in here.." I have no idea what that means.. I've asked I don't think she knows either.

My Pops (g-pa) and his brothers used to make moonshine and he would always say he was going to check the spicy bacon......

i think my family is nuts.

MrsCon40

My grandfather used to tell us that there were special breeds of sheep called gynippers. Their legs on one side of their body were shorter than the other to make gazing on hillsides easier. Of course there were "right" and "left" gynippers.

He also told us never to hit a box in the road because there might be a baby in it.

Oh, and the tents that they put over power transformers on power poles were actually city people that couldn't afford to camp in the country.

Yes - he was a Portagee of the highest order. I miss him.

erzsebet_1560

When we would ask Grandma what we were having for dinner she would say, "Snake ankles on toast and barbecued fleas livers." She had a whole bunch of other things she would say..I miss her she was funny. RIP Grandma

NewVonnie

I used to bite my nails when I was a girl..constantly. One day my grandmother says, " I knew a girl who bit her nails like you..and swallowed the pieces by accident. They filled up all her organs and she died. When they cut her open she was all filled up with fingernails." Holy crap! I was petrified. Stopped that very second biting my nails.

Never occured to me that it was crazy to say that to a kid..lol

Didnt realize until years later that would be impossible. I just had visions of piles of fingernails inside me..OMG.

CastleMadeOfSand

I realize this is a bit off from the intention of the post, but mostly relative.

My dad once asked me (I was about 3 or 4) if I had brushed my teeth. I assured him yes. He said ok, and asked me to follow him to the kitchen. He put a pot of water on the boiler. Turned it all the way on. Let the water boil and told me that the flouride of toothpaste gets all over your hands when you brush, and that I could stick my finger in the boiling water and be protected by it.

I reached out to put my hand in the boiling water, he grabbed it immediately and said: "Goodnight mijo, go to bed."

erzsebet_1560

I used to bite my nails when I was a girl..constantly. One day my grandmother says, " I knew a girl who bit her nails like you..and swallowed the pieces by accident. They filled up all her organs and she died. When they cut her open she was all filled up with fingernails." Holy crap! I was petrified. Stopped that very second biting my nails.

Never occured to me that it was crazy to say that to a kid..lol

Didnt realize until years later that would be impossible. I just had visions of piles of fingernails inside me..OMG.

OMG!! That would horrify me!! LMAO!!!

boomboom011

my grandma told us if we watched 2 dogs "do it" we would get the pink eye.

goodmonster

My grandpa always said that if I ever met a bear camping I should challenge it to a game of cards- they were terrible gamblers.
I think he was drinking at the time.

... that and my grandma's leg was full of gold; that was why she couldn't move it very well.