Does anyone regret having had Gastric Bypass?

bflysmile

The whole weight loss industry is a big business, not just GBS or other WLS/procedures. Every time you join a gym or Weight Watchers, etc you are lining someone's pockets.

I am a month out and have had no complications and can eat practically anything I want, just in smaller quantities. Having said that, I researched this for 2 years. I prepared myself in every way and made sure I found a good surgeon that has psych counseling and nutritional coaching included in the practice.

I hear every day horror stories and the majority of them stem from people NOT doing their homework or following the plan. Just like everything else, it will not be successful if you don't do the work.

So to say that we are somehow not doing this ourselves is, frankly, really disrespectful! It's a tool just like a treadmill... only it's permanent.

This isn't for someone who wants to lose 20 pounds to look better - it's for people who are suffering from diseases related to excess weight. I would hope no one enters this lightly.

If we want to talk about tragic cases, let's talk about how diabetes can kill you if you do nothing!

k1mcat

It's been interesting to read the posts here. I had proximal RNY over 12 years ago (there are many types of weight loss surgery, and different bypass lengths). I would do it again. For someone who has never struggled with life long obesity is does seem drastic and/or difficult to understand. But it is far from an "easy way out". I can't speak for everyone, but for my self, I had tried everything (Jenny Craig, weight camps, etc etc.). Weight loss surgery is meant only to be a tool. It's not brain surgery. It won't fix your marriage or make you smarter or get you a promotion or free you from an addictive personality type. It is a tool that can help you improve your health. But as with any tool, if it is misused it will not work properly. It's been my experience that many (not all) who have negative experiences have them due to non-compliance with supplementation, or who still consume too much milk and sugar, or who fail to address issues of mental health. A bypass patient still has to make good choices.. It's not a cure-all and not a "first choice". It is a surgery and as with any surgery, there are risks. Keep in mind too, that the more surgery the more risk and the greater the bypass, the greater the malabsorption. Each one is accountable to do his or her own research and make his or her own decision. But it is not a decision to be taken lightly because the surgery forces a life altering change. I'm very happy that I had mine and that I had my eyes wide open through the process. I didn't just wake up one day and decide, it took years for me to get there. It is definitely not an ending point, but rather, a beginning. The surgery helps to get the weight off, but it is still up to me to KEEP it off. The goal is be healthier and to improve one's quality of life. Even though I had the surgery and would do it again I am not an "advocate". It is to personal and serious of a decision to pressure someone else into. If there are those who are considering, I am happy to be supportive, but the ultimate decision lies with the patient who should be keeping his/her eyes wide open. I am unspeakably proud of anyone who is able to achieve a happier,but more importantly healthier lifestyle and am inspired by them, regardless of the path.

mouser3

I love that this is on here, I actually went to my dr. back in November and sent all my necessary paperwork in to the hospital to be put on a waiting list for the surgery. I am choosing to have the surgery done only because I honestly have tried to loose the weight and I've lost 100lbs once before but then can one really live on a no carb diet for the rest of their lives? I know i couldn't and now here i am pushed back further then where I started gained probably 120lbs back plus! This has def. been a rough road. But I'm getting myself into a routine of exercising so when I do get to have the surgery I'll be able to say I've been active and working at it! I'm glad that there are so many posts on othis topic because, the dr's where I live couldn't tell me much about what happens after either and it's nice to hear so many successful stories! I don't anticipate the weight will come off overnight nor do i plan on it being an easy journey but like everything else time heals all wounds and it's going to be a lifestyle change and i'm looking forward to!

becihall

I BITTERLY regret my RNY. I had my operation on 26th Nov 10. Now in July 13 I walk with a stick have chronic pain live on psin killers my iron levels dropped to 3mg and now my teeth are starting to crumble. I'm waiting to get my bypass reversed after many attempts to improve my life and I just hope and pray it works.

Apparently the bypass can just 'disagree' with people and they think this the case. In li waslast 3 months I have put on 3 stone which considering I can only tolerate toast & flaming crisps is hardly a surprise, it's led to me having to give up work after 7 years with the company.

They have tried the following to see if it was causing my pain:
Removed Gal Bladder
Removed an ovary and both fallopian tubes
Freed up adhesions

Yet nothing works in fact I'm WORSE! I'm a single mum of 2 young children and I can't even drive because of the pains I'm trapped and severely depressed and feel like the worst mum.

What annoys me most??

Previous to my op I lost 10 stone on my own by going to slimming world I went down from 33st to 23st but my gp (I now refuse to see him) convinced me after I put 5st on during my second pregnancy the weight would only come off with surgery I was depressed and in an abusive relationship so I believed him instead of pushing myself to try again. Now 2.5 years after surgery I weigh 23 stone and even my gp stated I was actually healthier at 33 stone! My advice would be don't.

Slimming world is my goal I can't wait to be able to eat healthy again and the first thing I'm going to be doing is signing back to a class!

CysterWigs

I was thinking about creating a new topic for this question, but I figure maybe I'll ask my question here instead.

To those of you who have had, or have thought about having, the gastric bypass surgery, or even lap band, or anything alike... why? I'm not criticizing or anything, I'm just wondering.... why'd you do it? Or why do you WANT to do it? It's a TON of money, a LOT of pain, and you STILL have to diet - extremely, at that - and exercise after healing. Like I said, I'm not criticizing... I've thought about doing one of these surgeries myself at one point, then I researched and researched and found that the first few months (even a year or two!) you have to go on a pretty extreme diet, and ease your way into eating new foods.... if you could do that POST-op, why not just do it all by yourself anyway? How much do the surgeries REALLY help? And for those who have to lose some weight in order to even get the surgeries done... why not just continue to do it yourself instead of putting yourself through all that?

Love and Alohas,
Ihilani Kapuniai

I've not had this surgery, but I've thought about it. I think there is a common misconception about WLS. WLS isn't for people who can't lose weight. In fact, most of the people who have it HAVE, over the course of their lives, lost and regained vast amounts of weight. There's the thing: WLS is really about people who, for one reason or another, can't keep the weight off. While most people who lose weight eventually regain some - if not most - of their lost lbs, people who eventually get the surgery usually have dire health problems that require medical intervention. I know people who have done well on the surgery and another who regrets it deeply. At the end of the day, it is an extremely personal choice.

NonnyMary

I almost went for the gastic bypass a few years ago so i learned all about it, up to the point of pre-certifying the insurance to pay; but they denied me. They made up every excuse not to pay for it. So that was the end of that. I did learn all about it though.

I do believe bariatric surgery is NOT the easy way out. To go thru what they go thru after surgery and for life is challenging. It is a tool that helps take away appetite and gives you not enough room to overeat as before and you can lose a ton of weight the first year especially.

Its a gamble that you take because you are warned of the complications including death. Some have a good effect after and some do not. So you take your chances.

What I want to know is - when people put back the weight after surgery, is this attributable to - they are still choosing bad food choices and eating too much or the wrong food (like soda pop) , and they are now stretching their egg-size pouch/stomach to accommodate the wrong food choices?

Are people finding that they cannot - either by ignorance of how to eat - or willfully because they want the old food; and this naturally causes them to put on weight again?

Or is it that the body loses that malabsorption advantage after 1 year (when you lose the most weight); and the body is going back to normally processing food and so your body doesn't have the same weight loss advantage as when you were first post op?

or something else?

USA2007

I haven't but my mother did. I still miss her 11 years later. Please think about this carefully. It is so hard for the families to go on after the loss of a loved one because of this surgery.

She was never told how high the mortality rate was for the first year. Would it have changed her mind? Probably not but do some research and talk to your family.

To answer the question about blood transfusion -- is it "normal" no but it does happen a lot.

Excellent post. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think there is a place in the world for WLS. It needs to be a DO OR DIE situation though. Too many people aren't properly counseled on it, and go in thinking its an easy fix. Many people legit NEED it, but many people just aren't willing to put in a little hard work. There's no one right answer for everyone. I would have to be on deaths door and completely unable to help myself to even consider it, but I work in the medical field and have saw too much go wrong to think differently.

MelsAuntie

I know two people who have had this surgery. One looks good now, but she had a lot of post-op pain and says it was a hard way to go. The other has had infections, adhesions, is miserable and in pain all the time and wishes she had taken the time to do it the slow and healthy way, via diet ( lifestyle change) and exercise. Good luck to you, I hope it gets better, and soon..

MissSharon2013

I was all signed up and ready to go. I went to the seminar which thoroughly explained the procedure. I was blessed to have a very balanced seminar in which people spoke who were glad to have had it and those who just wished they hadn't done it. Those who seemed to go in with a "this is a quick fix" attitude seemed to fare worse. For myself, I decided it wasn't for me. But I wish all of those who have or who are deciding the very best. I am the last person to judge what is right for anyone else. I am not even sure that I shouldn't have done it, but I really was thinking it was a fix. I would lose and lose and lose and look great and eat what I want. When I learned that it's not like that at all, I realized that my expectations were unrealistic and decided against it. Why can't they figure out how to make us feel completely satiated with little food without having to cut us open and rearranging our insides?

MTLCurves

Dose of reality.May sound aggressive, but I mean it in a loving way!


I had my bypass March 26, 2013 (3m 3w ago)... IT WAS THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE!!! I'm down 68lbs, and eat like a champ, and work out 5-6 days a week. Yes, i have had complications, nothing life threatening, but I had complications being 300lbs. #1 was depression. Those who will talk you out of surgery are often misinformed or scared because of 1 persons story, or say it's an easy fix are 99.90% people who have NEVER been mobidly obese with a BMI over 40, and just think if you put down the food and excersise you'll lose. Exercising when you have 100+ pounds to lose is unbearable!!! I tried! I was being 100% honest with myself and decided that after years of yoyo dieting and doing very diet out there, I NEEDED HELP, and couldnt do it on my own.

Quick fix it is not! If you think you can eat what you want you WILL GAIN it back once the initial "losing" phase is over(first year or so). Be prepared for a whole new you and embrace the gift you will have : )

At the end of the day you need to make the right decision for you! Nobody lives your life for you!!

Ps... Pain killer's for 2 days in the hospital, and had no pain what so ever at home. My healthcare covers the entire thing.

shyster123

I just had my GB on 7/24/13 and had a very rough week. I ended up having 4 transfusions in the hospital from a blood loss, and the abdominal discomfort from all that GAS!!!!! i felt so bloated and uncomfortable. But, now being 2 weeks out and have lost 17lbs I feel a little better. Still on liquids for another few days and thats okay since I really have no desire for food as of yet.
I still get gas pain towards late night and I've noticed more left scapula pain. I'm hoping that will all subside in due time.

There are still rare moments I think to myself, "what have I done?" Then I look at my children and know I did it so I could be healthy and be around for them for a very long time. Good luck and God Bless to all those who've gone through WLS or are comtemplating it. There is nothing EASY about it....but its a very valuable tool that if used right can help tons.

NonnyMary

I hope you that have had the surgery are listening to the doctor (or nutritionist) tell you what you can and can't eat. I get sick watching these TV shows where the people had the weight loss surgery (WLS) and they are eating pepsi, mcdonalds sandwiches, and all kinds of bad stuff. and then many of them eat back their original weight. all that for nothing. and then putting in your small pouch soda pop and macdonalds.. this makes me sick.. all that surgery for nothing.

so please i hope you all are eating what you are supposed to eat. protein first, then veg i guess would be next, i forgot because a long time ago i went to the pre-wls seminars and learned a lot but a couple things escape my memory.

TragedyAnn

I had my gastric bypass in September 2010. I've gone from 312 pounds to 154, most of which was dropped in the first two years. I started at a size 26 UK and am now comfortably in a 12. I eat five small meals a day with a focus on protein, no more than a cup of food at a time, religiously take my vitamins and go for regular checkups with my GP. I have had minor complications - B12 deficiency and depression mainly. I'm constantly tired and my marriage was destroyed. I'm covered in stretch marks and have loose skin on my tummy, thighs and upper arms.

I realise I have been lucky and not had the problems that others seem to have suffered, but I would have my surgery again in a heartbeat. Despite not feeling great most days, I still feel better than I did at 300+ pounds. I've got my life back, I can do things without embarrassment. I've learned to eat like a "normal" person through extensive after-care and monthly visits to a nutritionist during the first two years, and I still suffer from dumping syndrome when I eat too much sugar.

Surgery was the only option left for me. I'd done dozens of diets in the past, got all the certificates and lost loads of weight. It always came back. I was always hungry, which I could suffer through when I was in "diet mode" but eventually the hunger always won. Cutting away most of my stomach, including the hunger hormone-producing part, made sense to address my issues.

It is not for everyone. It is not a quick fix, definitely not an easy fix. The first year upended my entire life, but to come out on the other side where I am now makes it all worth it. Surgery was not solely a means to get me to lose weight, just a happy side effect. I've given myself the tools I need to deal with my LIFELONG battle with weight. Counting calories and exercising are things I will have to do forever, not just until I reach a certain number on the scale. I never want to go back to what I used to consider eating normally because I now know there was nothing normal about it.

NonnyMary

I haven't but my mother did. I still miss her 11 years later. Please think about this carefully. It is so hard for the families to go on after the loss of a loved one because of this surgery.

She was never told how high the mortality rate was for the first year. Would it have changed her mind? Probably not but do some research and talk to your family.

To answer the question about blood transfusion -- is it "normal" no but it does happen a lot.

Excellent post. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think there is a place in the world for WLS. It needs to be a DO OR DIE situation though. Too many people aren't properly counseled on it, and go in thinking its an easy fix. Many people legit NEED it, but many people just aren't willing to put in a little hard work. There's no one right answer for everyone. I would have to be on deaths door and completely unable to help myself to even consider it, but I work in the medical field and have saw too much go wrong to think differently.

Hiya - thats the thing,, do i want to spend the rest of my life chewing my food 20 - 30 times every time? do i never want to be able to eat a piece of chocolate should i want one? and how will my body react when i am a senior citizen when part of my insides have been surgically altered and will malabsorption affect my health now or later? and am I willing to take a chance on the possible complications that could happen, or will it be pretty much problem free as much as possible? and what about future surgeries - of removing the excess skin? etc etc.. so since i am not willing to do what it takes i would be a bad candidate. it does not seem to be "an easy fix" so if you have gone thru that, and you are doing what it takes, I give you a well deserved standing ovation and props for your hard work.

NonnyMary

Personally, I think a lot of people that have weight loss surgery would do better if they spent the money on counseling to help them with their emotional eating issues.

Having weight loss surgery does not eliminate the issues behind emotional eating, and that's why many people become so angry and depressed after they have the surgery and are no longer able to eat as they once did.

that is what happens - you still have your emotional (stress eating) issues that make you overeat in the first place.. or using food as medication to sooth yourself, and now you have a pouch that wont allow you to eat that bag of cheetos anymore, without dumping and feeling severely ill. so you still have the torture in your mind, that no surgery can destroy - except what i heard that WLS takes away your appetite. but still. food cravings can be very strong and torturous.

TragedyAnn

Personally, I think a lot of people that have weight loss surgery would do better if they spent the money on counseling to help them with their emotional eating issues.

Having weight loss surgery does not eliminate the issues behind emotional eating, and that's why many people become so angry and depressed after they have the surgery and are no longer able to eat as they once did.

that is what happens - you still have your emotional (stress eating) issues that make you overeat in the first place.. or using food as medication to sooth yourself, and now you have a pouch that wont allow you to eat that bag of cheetos anymore, without dumping and feeling severely ill. so you still have the torture in your mind, that no surgery can destroy - except what i heard that WLS takes away your appetite. but still. food cravings can be very strong and torturous.

I understand what you're saying but you find other ways to cope with the stress. The whole reason I craved junk food in the first place is because it made me feel good, even if temporarily. When that reward goes away, the cravings do too. I don't want to eat something that I know is going to make me feel bad.

After three years I can eat junk food, just in very limited quantities. No more than a couple bites. Usually that's enough to settle the mental battle if I can't beat it in other ways.

NonnyMary

Personally, I think a lot of people that have weight loss surgery would do better if they spent the money on counseling to help them with their emotional eating issues.

Having weight loss surgery does not eliminate the issues behind emotional eating, and that's why many people become so angry and depressed after they have the surgery and are no longer able to eat as they once did.

that is what happens - you still have your emotional (stress eating) issues that make you overeat in the first place.. or using food as medication to sooth yourself, and now you have a pouch that wont allow you to eat that bag of cheetos anymore, without dumping and feeling severely ill. so you still have the torture in your mind, that no surgery can destroy - except what i heard that WLS takes away your appetite. but still. food cravings can be very strong and torturous.

I understand what you're saying but you find other ways to cope with the stress. The whole reason I craved junk food in the first place is because it made me feel good, even if temporarily. When that reward goes away, the cravings do too. I don't want to eat something that I know is going to make me feel bad.

After three years I can eat junk food, just in very limited quantities. No more than a couple bites. Usually that's enough to settle the mental battle if I can't beat it in other ways.

the ironic part is yeah the sweets make us feel good, must be the dopamine thing it turns on in our brain, and it just tastes good, but then the pain is facing the consequences of it. so which is more painful to endure? the extra weight or the 5 minute pleasure of the fattening food.

TragedyAnn

the ironic part is yeah the sweets make us feel good, must be the dopamine thing it turns on in our brain, and it just tastes good, but then the pain is facing the consequences of it. so which is more painful to endure? the extra weight or the 5 minute pleasure of the fattening food.

I completely agree, although it's easier said than done.

NonnyMary

the ironic part is yeah the sweets make us feel good, must be the dopamine thing it turns on in our brain, and it just tastes good, but then the pain is facing the consequences of it. so which is more painful to endure? the extra weight or the 5 minute pleasure of the fattening food.

I completely agree, although it's easier said than done.

oh yes i completely know about that. if it was easier we'd all be slim.

the thing is - with WLS, now you are forced to cope with the stress and the food choices, but now you dont have leeway to have a cupcake to soothe stress... unless you want to dump which is not pleasant from what i understand about dumping syndrome.

If only there were some food that works like WLS but does not come with the possible consequences of it - that could be fiber and vegetables and fruit??? to have something that fills the stomach would be a help, so maybe food can do what the benefits of WLS does... but then you have the emotional side of overeating... which wls is a tool to help with that.... so i guess we have to continually find a way to conquor the stress.

sorry, im just thinking out loud.. wls is so scary, the reason i chose not to have it done is #1 insurance said no three times, each time making a different excuse not to have to pay which i was angry about, and #2 too scarey the consequences and what it would take which im not willing to go thru. I think its harder to live and enjoy life after wls,, i cannot believe that "diets dont work" .. i personallly think that a diet can work, but we start to go back to our old habits and thats when people say diets dont work.

i hope the way most people here on mfp say to lose weight, its slow and steady and thats waht im hoping for so that i dont have to do the wls route. and i hope losing 1-2 pounds a week will eliminate the need for skin removal surgery.

if anyone has wls, i respect the strength it takes to lay down on that surgical table and enter a life that will help them if that is the last resort, and I respect those who take the road of the slow and steady weight loss without surgery. Each choice has challenges that the other may not face.

gooniesnvrsaydi

I am not extremely obese (37 BMI) and I will be having gastric bypass surgery early next year. People paint this picture that weight loss surgery is only beneficial to very fat people. If you actually did some real research you would find FACTS that it improves the health and quality of life for people even
in my category. Bariatric surgery has cured people of diabites, high cholesterol, hypertension, sleep apnea and the list goes on. I have sleep apnea and borderline high cholesterol. I am a healthy eater and have been for years but when I got pregnant with my son almost 5 years ago I thought it was a free pass to eat poorly. I went off my vegetarian diet and started eating meat and gave into those pregnancy cravings. Low and behold I gained 90 pounds! My son was born extremely healthy but now I was not so healthy.

With hard work I lost 30 pounds within the first year. I eat whole foods, healthy snacks, I do raw juicing and exercise regularly. Most recently I did a 5 month hardcore attempt to drop some more weight by joining a high intensity boot camp in addition to my LA fitness membership. Worked out two hours a day and hiked 5 miles twice a week. I lost nothing but a couple inches off my waist in the first month and nothing after that and 4 pounds off the scale. At $130 per month I dropped the boot camp last month. I maintain my weight but no matter how hard I try I cannot lose this weight. Who are any of you to tell me I should just live the rest of my life this way? I have done my research and have a close friend who has been through this journey and I feel (along with my Doctors) that this is the right choice for me.

Over the past 5 years I have seen 3 nutritionists, 1 weight loss doctor, 1 bioidentical Hormone Doctor as well as my PCP all in hopes of figuring out why I can't lose weight. Nothing worked! I have had my thyroid checked over and over and it is normal. You can't say this surgery is not for someone like me. Also, for those saying Bariatric surgery should be reserved for the super obese, health insurance companies who previously didn't cover weight loss surgery now cover it because of the results of quality of life improving and the elimination of other health problems. In the past you had to have a BMI of 40+ and now it's 35+ thanks to recent data showing positive long-term results in most cases, meaning most people are healthier than they were before having had weight loss surgery.

I also find it comical that just about every naysayer knows someone who knows someone who died of complications from this type of surgery considering the statistics. Here's a great article I came across recently that everyone should read which addresses the whole "death rate" misconceptions: http://www.realself.com/blog/after-weight-loss-surgery
Besides all that, OBESE IS OBESE IS OBESE. Some are more than others but just because my obesity is on the lower end doesn't mean my health is not just as much at risk as the person twice my size. Obesity takes its toll eventually but I am determined not to let it.

DaisyandTip1

I am now 5 weeks post RNY surgery. I regret having this surgery so much. My hormones are completely messed up, I'm depressed to the max, hate my life, hate not being able to have something good to eat in order to feel at least a little better. Am tired of the constant tracking of what time to drink water, what time to try to eat (which usually means two bites of something before I feel sick or get sick), and tired of the whole nine yards. I am hating myself for not trying harder to lose weight with diet and exercise. I would never recommend this surgery for anyone. I'd rather die obese than to live like this.

DaisyandTip1

So what you are saying is that because you have determined that this site is pro-bariatric surgery (which is only your opinion), then no one has the right to post how THEY feel about having bariatric surgery and regretting it. I had no idea that you were the administrator and/or creator of this site!

onwarddownward

If you go back through this thread, you'll see that it is years old. I read the thread just now and there were a bunch of posts pointing out that regret and depression can be a problem in the early stages.

I'd sure suggest that you talk with your doc about it. I'm sure they can help you overcome it.

NonnyMary

Re your insurance company paying for it - since you are not as obese as some, have they given you problems paying for it? thats the problem i had a while back.

DaisyandTip1

I'm new to this page and forgot to look at the date of the posts...feel very dumb now. But I will be seeing the bariatric clinic next week and am hoping they can help me through this - thank you

amyk0202

I am now 5 weeks post RNY surgery. I regret having this surgery so much. My hormones are completely messed up, I'm depressed to the max, hate my life, hate not being able to have something good to eat in order to feel at least a little better. Am tired of the constant tracking of what time to drink water, what time to try to eat (which usually means two bites of something before I feel sick or get sick), and tired of the whole nine yards. I am hating myself for not trying harder to lose weight with diet and exercise. I would never recommend this surgery for anyone. I'd rather die obese than to live like this.

I didn't have a Gastric Bypass, I had a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, but in the very beginning I did have some of those same feelings. My family was all still able to eat regular foods. I had my surgery right around Easter & I was drinking broth & protein powder while everyone else had a big dinner & candy. Part of making the surgery successful for you is changing your thinking about eating and finding ways to make yourself feel better without food being part of the equation. I'm over a year out now & I'm so happy. I know that I will have to track my food forever, but I can live life now without my weight controlling me. I'm glad to see you have an appointment with your doctor. My hospital has support groups for bariatric patients. Maybe see if your doctor can recommend something in your area. Just keep it up & as time goes on & the weight comes off, things will get better.

onwarddownward

I'm new to this page and forgot to look at the date of the posts...feel very dumb now. But I will be seeing the bariatric clinic next week and am hoping they can help me through this - thank you

Don't feel dumb. You are just in a tough spot right now. Hang in there. This is a big learning curve and you're new here too. You're going to be ok.

Hugs.

belovedideas

Let me just preface this rant with the declaration that I don't believe weight loss surgery leads to overall good health. It may provide you with short term or drastic weight loss but it will cause side effects that make it not worth the pain and suffering. Don't bother leaving me a comment to the contrary. I've heard it all. I've been called "bitter" and "a failure" and been yelled at for discouraging people form getting this "life saving surgery". I will glance at your comment and delete it.

That being said, let me tell you about overful pouch syndrome. It feels like dumping but it ain't. It's when the pouch stretches too far and too much food needs to be processed. The symptoms are frightening: rapid heart pounding, weakness, dizziness, pain, pressure,and a sudden need to raise your legs higher than your heart no matter where you are.

Now, you mean-spritied, pro-wls cheerleaders are going to say that I should have learned by now exactly how much food I can tolerate. Let me school you. I am able to tolerate less and less food over time. I had my rny gastric bypass in 2006. I can now tolerate half of what I could eat when I first started this awful "journey". Different foods cause different reactions under different circumstances. It's always a surprise. I can eat and process less and less food.

One might think this is good news. One might expect me to be delightfully thin by now.
WRONG.
I fight fatigue due to my inability to take in enough food to give me the energy I need to live my life.
I can't tolerate protein shakes and never could.
My metabolism has slowed to accommodate my miniscule portions of food. I'm a sluggish, tired, cranky *kitten* for a major portion of my day.
I have to load up on sugar and salt just to give me the energy to teach my classes.
When I'm hungry I can never eat enough to truly satisfy my hunger. The overfull pouch symptoms begin before I can get enough food into my body.
And so it goes...

Special occasions are difficult. Going out to eat is difficult. Social eating is difficult.
I have to gauge when I've had enough and put the fork down in time. Since there is a delayed reaction between swallowing and the food reaching my poor pouch, I often take a few bites too many. I pay dearly for every mis-bite.

Different foods produce different levels of discomfort. Sometimes I can eat a big salad. Sometimes I can eat lots of fruit. Sometimes I'm wrong and mere orange juice will cause the symptoms. It's a crap shoot every time I pick up a fork.

This weekend my brother and sister in law are visiting from Vermont. We had a lovely dinner at a Thai fusion place in Montclair. After dinner we went around the corner to Coldstone Creamery. We each got child's portions of dessert. We just wanted a taste. I took one spoonful too many. I had to explain why I was sighing and burping and roughly exhaling as I drove home.

I hate the weight loss surgery sales pitch. I was promised one thing and am experiencing another.
Satiety is not possible with water, I don't care what the literature says.
Protein shakes are odious. I am nauseated by them after the first sip.
All the tricks for feeling satisfied on a subsistence level of food don't work.

Our bodies are more complex than what the wls people want you to believe. Feeling satisfied after a meal is not just a function of the pouch or the stomach. Our bodies signal their need for food in many ways. Trying to cheat that system leads to a deficit, a debt, a bill that we have to pay to our bodies. Living on post-wls diets lead to problems, I don't care what the cheerleaders tell you. Some of them outright lie. Some are experiencing symptoms that their doctors won't admit are directly related to their weight loss surgery. Some are so delirious from being thin they ignore other areas of their physical existence. Many have stalled or gained weight back and disappear from the scene for fear of the shaming that comes from the cheerleaders and the medical people themselves.

My brother and sister in law are here with Theodore and Tilly Bear of the Teddy Bear Monastery founded by my brother. I'd like to enjoy their visit without having the burden of worrying that one bite too many will give me heart attack symptoms. That's not how it goes with wls. I'll be spending huge portions of their visit in major discomfort. I notice it more when I'm with people and when I'm eating outside the home.

Wls is the forever-*kitten*-you for being fat. It is the forever-*kitten*-you for being convinced that one has an eating disorder that only surgery can keep in check.

Every single time I eat I am reminded of my decision to alter my insides in an effort to be acceptably thin. I am reminded of my decision that I needed surgery to help me manage my eating because I decided I was untrustworthy as a self-caretaker.

Every single time I eat.
Every single day.

NonnyMary

Belovedideas - thank you for writing that. I too was going for the WLS in 2003, I went all the way up to the part where you see if insurance will cover you and three times i was denied. that was a signal that it wasn't meant to be. but i am glad that it didn't happen because basically i thought to myself, this is no way to live, do i really want to spend the rest of my life having to chew food 20 times and liquify it in my mouth? do i really want to be a guinea pig (really do they have enough long range patients to make a qualifable study to make a valid report to see if WLS is good or not? no. i think when WLS patients live thier lives, then they can.. but for now, its guinea pigs really. I dont think i want to live life with my insides cut up.. i mean really if you have to tear up your insides in order to control your eating, thats pretty severe. However, even those few things are no match for what you are going thru.. thank you for letting me know. I believe you on that.

Ralphrabbit

Oh yes felt more dreadful than I had ever felt before with nausea & never wanted to eat at all!! It passes after time - hence I am still here & doing the battle! Worth it in the end though.....