Should I feel guilty?

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fatgirlzrule2
fatgirlzrule2 Posts: 172 Member
in Chit-Chat
One of my neighbors came over last night and asked to borrow $20 for gas so he and his girlfriend could drive 200 miles to see her brother because he is very sick. In the past they have borrowed money and not paid us back. A lot of our other neighbors don't even talk to them anymore because of the same reason.
We told him that we didn't have the money.
My husband lost his job in August, and we only have my income right now, which is especially tight right now during the holidays.
Today is my day off and I had planned on getting my ($15) Christmas tree from town. Should I feel guilty? I know they'll see us bringing in the tree.
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Replies

  • furekurss
    furekurss Posts: 74
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    yes
    /thread
  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
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    No. You shouldn't.
  • eellis2000
    eellis2000 Posts: 465 Member
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    No
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    No. You shouldn't.

    I agree! Especially if this is a habit of their's! Get your tree and enjoy it!
  • cdub78
    cdub78 Posts: 88 Member
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    Absolutely not! You have every right to do what you want with your money, you work hard for it, not them. Sounds like they need to get off their butts and look for work to support themselves. Sorry to sound like a scrooge but I too have been burned by people not paying it back. I don't lend money to anyone anymore. Some people just ruin it for others.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Why would you feel guilty? You don't have the money to give them. (And it would be a gift, not a loan, because you know you wouldn't get it back.) You do have the money to buy a tree.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
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    You should only feel bad for not being honest. Had you told him the real reason you didn't want to lend him the money, you wouldn't be asking us this question today. You'd know that you handled it correctly and you'd go ahead and get your tree, end of story.

    That said, guilt is a useless emotion. If you're not willing to confront the situation or solve it in some way, just let it go and handle it differently the next time if you feel you need to.
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,954 Member
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    Nope.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I can't even imagine putting a neighbor on the spot like that.

    No, you shouldn't feel guilty.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    They do not have a right to have full access to your bank account. Your money was already budgeted and there was no room for a loan, which is completely inappropriate for a casual acquaintance to ask for, anyway. You don't have to justify your purchases. If they rag on you for it, you can say ever so sweetly, "actually, I will be able to lend you some just as soon as you pay back the money you already owe me."
  • sunshine2015
    sunshine2015 Posts: 8
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    Don't feel guilty - their poor planning is not your emergency!! Sorry but people are just not themselves these days, and besides you work hard to earn a living :)
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    Hell to the no!
  • groomchick
    groomchick Posts: 610 Member
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    You should only feel bad for not being honest. Had you told him the real reason you didn't want to lend him the money, you wouldn't be asking us this question today. You'd know that you handled it correctly and you'd go ahead and get your tree, end of story.

    That said, guilt is a useless emotion. If you're not willing to confront the situation or solve it in some way, just let it go and handle it differently the next time if you feel you need to.
    [/quote



    Ditto!]
  • darbym7
    darbym7 Posts: 61
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    no. if theyre not honest people, and have had this problem before, you do not need to feel guilty. you lied, yes, but it was just to protect yourself and your money. especially since the holidays are coming around, things will be even tighter, and you shouldn't sweat it
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Nope.
  • Faintgreeneyes
    Faintgreeneyes Posts: 730 Member
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    I am assuming the tree was in your budget. Why should you have to go without something, to lend money to serial beggers. I understand giving to charity, and helping people out in a bind, but if they constantly are hitting people up for money, there seems to be something else going on there.

    So no, you didn't have 20 extra dollars to give them for gas. You have money in your budget to get a tree, so get it. There is nothing to feel guilty about.
  • kahlee2000
    kahlee2000 Posts: 77
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    No. If this is a habit -- you have no idea what they are really doing with the money anyway. To quote the commercial --"its your money" Sounds like they need to be doing more to bring in more of their own if they don't have enough. Once maybe, twice I start wondering -- a regular pattern, I know I sound jaded, but I don't believe the money they are borrowing is being used for what they say they are using it for.
  • kb455
    kb455 Posts: 679 Member
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    No, you shouldn't feel guilty. Especially if money is tight right now.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    Neighbors are not ATM machines.

    I never feel bad saying NO. And I don't feel obligated to provide a reason.

    People who borrow money from me and don't pay me back don't get the pleasure of screwing me twice.

    I sleep well at night, and so should you.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    Newsflash: They're drug addicts.

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