Should I feel guilty?
fatgirlzrule2
Posts: 162 Member
One of my neighbors came over last night and asked to borrow $20 for gas so he and his girlfriend could drive 200 miles to see her brother because he is very sick. In the past they have borrowed money and not paid us back. A lot of our other neighbors don't even talk to them anymore because of the same reason.
We told him that we didn't have the money.
My husband lost his job in August, and we only have my income right now, which is especially tight right now during the holidays.
Today is my day off and I had planned on getting my ($15) Christmas tree from town. Should I feel guilty? I know they'll see us bringing in the tree.
We told him that we didn't have the money.
My husband lost his job in August, and we only have my income right now, which is especially tight right now during the holidays.
Today is my day off and I had planned on getting my ($15) Christmas tree from town. Should I feel guilty? I know they'll see us bringing in the tree.
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Replies
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yes
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No. You shouldn't.0
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No0
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No. You shouldn't.
I agree! Especially if this is a habit of their's! Get your tree and enjoy it!0 -
Absolutely not! You have every right to do what you want with your money, you work hard for it, not them. Sounds like they need to get off their butts and look for work to support themselves. Sorry to sound like a scrooge but I too have been burned by people not paying it back. I don't lend money to anyone anymore. Some people just ruin it for others.0
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Why would you feel guilty? You don't have the money to give them. (And it would be a gift, not a loan, because you know you wouldn't get it back.) You do have the money to buy a tree.0
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You should only feel bad for not being honest. Had you told him the real reason you didn't want to lend him the money, you wouldn't be asking us this question today. You'd know that you handled it correctly and you'd go ahead and get your tree, end of story.
That said, guilt is a useless emotion. If you're not willing to confront the situation or solve it in some way, just let it go and handle it differently the next time if you feel you need to.0 -
Nope.0
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I can't even imagine putting a neighbor on the spot like that.
No, you shouldn't feel guilty.0 -
They do not have a right to have full access to your bank account. Your money was already budgeted and there was no room for a loan, which is completely inappropriate for a casual acquaintance to ask for, anyway. You don't have to justify your purchases. If they rag on you for it, you can say ever so sweetly, "actually, I will be able to lend you some just as soon as you pay back the money you already owe me."0
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Don't feel guilty - their poor planning is not your emergency!! Sorry but people are just not themselves these days, and besides you work hard to earn a living
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Hell to the no!0
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You should only feel bad for not being honest. Had you told him the real reason you didn't want to lend him the money, you wouldn't be asking us this question today. You'd know that you handled it correctly and you'd go ahead and get your tree, end of story.
That said, guilt is a useless emotion. If you're not willing to confront the situation or solve it in some way, just let it go and handle it differently the next time if you feel you need to.
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Ditto!]0 -
no. if theyre not honest people, and have had this problem before, you do not need to feel guilty. you lied, yes, but it was just to protect yourself and your money. especially since the holidays are coming around, things will be even tighter, and you shouldn't sweat it0
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Nope.0
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I am assuming the tree was in your budget. Why should you have to go without something, to lend money to serial beggers. I understand giving to charity, and helping people out in a bind, but if they constantly are hitting people up for money, there seems to be something else going on there.
So no, you didn't have 20 extra dollars to give them for gas. You have money in your budget to get a tree, so get it. There is nothing to feel guilty about.0 -
No. If this is a habit -- you have no idea what they are really doing with the money anyway. To quote the commercial --"its your money" Sounds like they need to be doing more to bring in more of their own if they don't have enough. Once maybe, twice I start wondering -- a regular pattern, I know I sound jaded, but I don't believe the money they are borrowing is being used for what they say they are using it for.0
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No, you shouldn't feel guilty. Especially if money is tight right now.0
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Neighbors are not ATM machines.
I never feel bad saying NO. And I don't feel obligated to provide a reason.
People who borrow money from me and don't pay me back don't get the pleasure of screwing me twice.
I sleep well at night, and so should you.0 -
Newsflash: They're drug addicts.0
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They probably were lying ...Dont answer the door next time...Can you move? This is why i want to move out in the country where no weirdos can bother me lol0
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Never loan money you can't afford to not get back. In your case you can't afford to not be repaid or you may not get a tree.
No guilt required.0 -
Nope, they should feel guilty for stealing money from you in the past.
You owe them nothing.0 -
You should only feel bad for not being honest. Had you told him the real reason you didn't want to lend him the money, you wouldn't be asking us this question today. You'd know that you handled it correctly and you'd go ahead and get your tree, end of story.
That said, guilt is a useless emotion. If you're not willing to confront the situation or solve it in some way, just let it go and handle it differently the next time if you feel you need to.
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Ditto!]
I don't agree with this. You shouldn't have to defend why you can't give them the money. They don't need to know what you're buying instead of their gas. It's your money, feel free to tell them no, and don't feel like you have to justify it.0 -
Nope, you shouldn't feel guilty @ all. If they borrowed money from you before and never paid you back or made an attempt to pay you back then that is their lost. If they ask you how you paid for the xmas tree just say a family member or friend bought you it and wanted your family to have a xmas tree. Or further yet you shouldn't even have to explain it to them. Some ppl will make excuses and use ppl especially durin the holidays.0
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I should add too that four days ago they text and asked to borrow money for cigarettes.
It's just such an awkward situation. But thanks for the reassurance! Time to go decorate my tree!! 0 -
my rule of thumb: i do not loan money. i give it. if i can not afford to give it, i decline and offer any other tips or assistance i can. (i.e. no, i will not give you $10 for gas, but if you'd like me to drive you to the train station i will do that)
thank you Dave Ramsey.0 -
They probably were lying ...Dont answer the door next time...Can you move? This is why i want to move out in the country where no weirdos can bother me lol
My boyfriend's parents live on a tiny, obscure dirt road in the middle of nowhere in a house WAY off the road with a locked gate and they've had complete strangers knock on their door asking for gas money.0 -
I wouldn't feel bad. Do you have "bank" written across your forehead?0
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omg you shouldnt feel guilty at all0
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