Different girl, same problem

paulaGetshealthy

My weight-loss has slowed down dramatically and I know I need to eat more to see a loss. I'm already eating 1600+ calories a day but only netting 950-1250.

With the 1600 calories I feel so stuffed and I tonight I literally had to force the food down my throat 'cause I was already so full. I'm eating every 2-3 hours.

But eating more itself isn't the problem. I know I could use walnuts in my salad, have a slightly larger portion, choose non-diet ingredients, etc. The problem I have is the guilt. The guilt of seeing the large numbers. I'm not used to netting more than 1290 at most, and seeing anything above that makes me cringe (partly due to the fact that some of my other MFP friends are netting no more than 1200 and I don't want them to think I'm a fatass 'cause I net more than they).

I KNOW that I have to eat more to lose. It kills me not seeing the numbers on the scale go down. But it kills me even more to net so many calories due to the fear of getting used to eating so much and reverting back to old habits.

It might be an irrational fear, but it's there. Is the only way to get over it by just sucking it up and doing it, or is there any other way to deal with it?

Pebble321

Get some new friends who eat more!
Or close your diary for a while.
Being scared to eat because of what other people might think is not a good thing!

SWilland

I feel the same damn way!

Bumping this for myself.

redraidergirl2009

Maybe you're eating too much? Sounds that way to me.
Try not eating back all your exercise calories. If you're not hungry, don't force food down. That doesn't make sense. I don't eat back all my calories, some of them, but if I burn off 600 and end up netting 500 and I'm not hungry I'm not going to force food down my throat. so try just eating when you're hungry,
You also may be overestimating your work out calories..

paulaGetshealthy

I highly doubt I'm eating too much. I used to net around 800 calories and I'd lose weight, but when that stopped working, I ate a little more and started losing. Then that stopped working. I try to net 1200 which worked for about two weeks, and now that has stopped working as well. As for the calories I burn, I use a HRM.

Also, on Thanksgiving I net around 1600 calories and I saw over a 1 pound loss on the scale two days after!

I had a brief meeting with my friend's friend who is a nutritionist and she said I should be netting no less than 1400 calories. I have to eat more. I just feel terrible when I do it (unless it's a "special" occasion, and even then I feel some guilt).

unsuspectingfish

I net 1,600 to 1,800 almost every day, so there's definitely no judging from me.

paulaGetshealthy

Sorry if I sound defensive, but the fact that someone is telling me that I'm eating too much is only making me feel worse! Really no help at all lol

redraidergirl2009

Well based on my own experience with weight loss, if I was eating 1600 calories (which I have some days) even with working out, I wouldn't lose any. I don't know how much you weight/height, but that just seems like a lot. In order to me to maintain, according to mfp I shouldn't eat more than 1700. I became overweight eating between 1800-2200 a day and occassional days of 2500.

I don't know, if you feel like forcing yourself to eat more food is going to work then that's your call. But personally, it doesn't work for me.

paulaGetshealthy

I guess different people, different results. My maintenance is also 1700, but that would be net of 1700 cals. According to the nutritionist, for maintenance I should net 2000 calories.

One week I went on vacation and ate a ton of junk food and didn't exercise at all and I lost 1.5 lbs. I do think I'm eating too few calories now, I just think I'm not used to eating so much because I would eat (not net) an average of 1000 calories total for the first 5 months of my weight-loss journey.

I'm 5'3 and 138.4 lbs, btw.

Artemis_Acorn

Weight loss is as much an emotional / psychological game as it is a physical one. What you're describing going through is normal. I would try the nutritionist's advice and tell your MFP friends that you consulted a nutritionist and are following their professional advice. It can't hurt to test out the recommendations for a few weeks to see if it works for you.

If you can't get past the guilt and fear, it might help to see a counselor about it. Most of us on MFP have some degree of emotional baggage around our weight - whether it is a warped body image, disordered thinking, binge eating etc. If you need help with your workouts, you get a trainer. If you need help on your diet, you consult a dietitian / nutritionist. If you need help working through the emotions, there is no shame in getting professional help.

capriciousmoon

I think you should just try to do what you need to and add in the calories in a way that won't eat too much bulk to your diet. It's hard to see the higher calories, I have that problem too, but anyone that is comparing what you eat to what they eat or judges you is probably dealing with their own issues. Your health is the most important thing.

jenny95662

well i am your friend and i would never think that i eat 1430 a day lol hang in there hun

Pebble321

It sounds to me like you have a healthy and realistic calorie goal. Working on net calories makes so much sense to me and I've found it so much easier to lose weight eating a sensible amount of food that I ever have before when I've tried to restrict my diet too much.

My usual net goal is around 1600, although I've dropped back to 1400 net for a few weeks to try to get rid of the last few kg's before Christmas. As I run most days and burn anywhere from 600 - 1000 cals (200 or so on a non running day), that means that I'm currently eating 1600 - 2400 calories a day. And guess what? I'm losing weight!

I suggest make your diary private for now, gradually increase your food intake by 50 or so cals every few days, until you are eating up to the amount MFP recommends. Don't listen to people who say you aren't eating enough - as long as you are eating under your mainenance goal you will still lose weight.
The worst that will happen is that you lose it slowly - and personally I think that's a good thing, as it give you more time to learn good habits to keep you healthy for the long term.

StacySkinny

Weight loss is not a one size fits all. What is right for one body isn't right for another, so it's difficult for people to make suggestions when what they could be telling you might be totally wrong for you (though right for their own bodies).

I would recommend doing some experimenting with your calories. What helps some people is zig-zagging their calories. If you felt like you've eaten a lot of calories today, try eating a lot less the next day, then higher calories the day after (or vice versa). But definitely trust your body and listen to it. If it says you're full and it doesn't want more food I wouldn't force it. Your body is smart and will tell you what it needs - the hard part is learning to "hear" it.

Starligh98

Wow!! I think I'm offended by your post. If your friends think that you are a fatass for having more calories than them, then they are not the type of friends you need. If that is just the way you think of yourself, then you shouldn't be so hostile. Stop hating on yourself. It could be either way, but I think you should go by your body type. If you are naturally muscular then you may need to eat the number of calories that it says, if you are not, you may need less. I agree with the person that says you do not have to eat back all the calories you have worked off if you are not hungry, but I would try to stay close to the guided goals set by MFP. I am naturally muscular, so even though I am actually sedentary, I changed my activity to lightly active to give myself a little calorie boost because my body needs them. Good luck and I am an actual fat *kitten* that started off on this site weighing in at 335, but I'm an awesome person, and anyone who doesn't like me for the wonderful person I am, can kiss it. So either way, you need new friends or a new mindset. Good luck!!

unsuspectingfish

Well based on my own experience with weight loss, if I was eating 1600 calories (which I have some days) even with working out, I wouldn't lose any. I don't know how much you weight/height, but that just seems like a lot. In order to me to maintain, according to mfp I shouldn't eat more than 1700. I became overweight eating between 1800-2200 a day and occassional days of 2500.

I don't know, if you feel like forcing yourself to eat more food is going to work then that's your call. But personally, it doesn't work for me.

Different people have different metabolisms. Even if you're the same height as her, the amount of calories that make you gain weight won't necessarily make her gain weight. I went on vacation for a week in October, ate 2,000-2,500 every day, drank more alcohol than I like to admit, didn't exercise (beyond walking everywhere, which I do when I'm at home, anyway, so it doesn't count), and lost a pound. I know that's not going to fly for a good number of people, so I'm not going to judge them if they eat less. I expect them not to judge me for eating more.

Also, when I first started, I was at around 1,500 net calories. When I decided to up those, I did have some trouble eating all of that. I fixed that not by eating more, but by eating differently. I started to snack on dried fruit and peanut butter instead of chocolate. I started putting milk in my coffee, again (amazing how much that helps). I added some flaxseed to my oatmeal. You don't have to force it. Sometimes, you just have to work your way up to eating more, bit by bit.

britmavis26

My weight-loss has slowed down dramatically and I know I need to eat more to see a loss. I'm already eating 1600+ calories a day but only netting 950-1250.

With the 1600 calories I feel so stuffed and I tonight I literally had to force the food down my throat 'cause I was already so full. I'm eating every 2-3 hours.

But eating more itself isn't the problem. I know I could use walnuts in my salad, have a slightly larger portion, choose non-diet ingredients, etc. The problem I have is the guilt. The guilt of seeing the large numbers. I'm not used to netting more than 1290 at most, and seeing anything above that makes me cringe (partly due to the fact that some of my other MFP friends are netting no more than 1200 and I don't want them to think I'm a fatass 'cause I net more than they).

I KNOW that I have to eat more to lose. It kills me not seeing the numbers on the scale go down. But it kills me even more to net so many calories due to the fear of getting used to eating so much and reverting back to old habits.

It might be an irrational fear, but it's there. Is the only way to get over it by just sucking it up and doing it, or is there any other way to deal with it?

Hunny eat what your meant to be eating, don't force food, go for your walk its that last 5 pounds that are the hardest to loose.

redraidergirl2009

Well based on my own experience with weight loss, if I was eating 1600 calories (which I have some days) even with working out, I wouldn't lose any. I don't know how much you weight/height, but that just seems like a lot. In order to me to maintain, according to mfp I shouldn't eat more than 1700. I became overweight eating between 1800-2200 a day and occassional days of 2500.

I don't know, if you feel like forcing yourself to eat more food is going to work then that's your call. But personally, it doesn't work for me.

Different people have different metabolisms. Even if you're the same height as her, the amount of calories that make you gain weight won't necessarily make her gain weight. I went on vacation for a week in October, ate 2,000-2,500 every day, drank more alcohol than I like to admit, didn't exercise (beyond walking everywhere, which I do when I'm at home, anyway, so it doesn't count), and lost a pound. I know that's not going to fly for a good number of people, so I'm not going to judge them if they eat less. I expect them not to judge me for eating more.

Also, when I first started, I was at around 1,500 net calories. When I decided to up those, I did have some trouble eating all of that. I fixed that not by eating more, but by eating differently. I started to snack on dried fruit and peanut butter instead of chocolate. I started putting milk in my coffee, again (amazing how much that helps). I added some flaxseed to my oatmeal. You don't have to force it. Sometimes, you just have to work your way up to eating more, bit by bit.

I don't recall ever judging her?

Jeff92se

What is your bodyfast % right now? Perhaps your BMR numbers have changed since. I've noted you are right at the of your great journey. Congrats.

JellyPrz619

you look amazing in your picture.. so maybe your body is done losing weight and youve reached the ideal weight for your body.. i agree with someone elses suggestion to close off your diary and dont worry what anyone else thinks about your food intake, you are eating whats right for you and it has obviously been working )

Hearts_2015

bump to catch up on later

in the meantime though...sending warm hugs out to you paulajfranco:flowerforyou:

unsuspectingfish

Well based on my own experience with weight loss, if I was eating 1600 calories (which I have some days) even with working out, I wouldn't lose any. I don't know how much you weight/height, but that just seems like a lot. In order to me to maintain, according to mfp I shouldn't eat more than 1700. I became overweight eating between 1800-2200 a day and occassional days of 2500.

I don't know, if you feel like forcing yourself to eat more food is going to work then that's your call. But personally, it doesn't work for me.

Different people have different metabolisms. Even if you're the same height as her, the amount of calories that make you gain weight won't necessarily make her gain weight. I went on vacation for a week in October, ate 2,000-2,500 every day, drank more alcohol than I like to admit, didn't exercise (beyond walking everywhere, which I do when I'm at home, anyway, so it doesn't count), and lost a pound. I know that's not going to fly for a good number of people, so I'm not going to judge them if they eat less. I expect them not to judge me for eating more.

Also, when I first started, I was at around 1,500 net calories. When I decided to up those, I did have some trouble eating all of that. I fixed that not by eating more, but by eating differently. I started to snack on dried fruit and peanut butter instead of chocolate. I started putting milk in my coffee, again (amazing how much that helps). I added some flaxseed to my oatmeal. You don't have to force it. Sometimes, you just have to work your way up to eating more, bit by bit.

I don't recall ever judging her?

It may not have been your intention, but she was talking about how she was afraid people would judge her for eating more than 1,200 and then you came in and said she was eating too much

StacySkinny

Wow!! I think I'm offended by your post. If your friends think that you are a fatass for having more calories than them, then they are not the type of friends you need. If that is just the way you think of yourself, then you shouldn't be so hostile. Stop hating on yourself. ..

Hahah I know what you mean. I totally cringed as her use of the word "fatass" in such a derogatory and negative way, as if it's something so unthinkable and despicable. Yet here she is getting some advice from us horrible fatasses. lol Hmmm Somehow doesn't seem like the best idea to get on a site filled with large people and use the word fatass with such venom. That's just me though. *shruuuug* I'm sure she didn't mean it quite the way it came out. Or maybe she did, who knows. lol She doesn't seem like a mean spirited person so I'm probably just being overly sensitive. Wouldn't be the first time. :P

bert16

Hi Paula,

I can totally relate... I've lost 2.2 lb in the past 7 weeks and am theoretically trying to lose 10 lb more (I kind of made up my goal weight and figure I'll know it when I see it... not there yet!). I wish I had some practical advice for you; I've been trying to eat more calories, but don't know what my personal sweet spot is at this point and, on some days, I struggle a bit to get the calories down. I'm just trying to stick it out with the higher calories for a while to see if I can shake myself loose from this plateau... once I get through the marathon I'm training for in January, I'm going to toss up my exercise routine somewhat, also, to add strength training to my currently exclusively cardio routine.

Good luck to you (and #@$ what your "friends" say about how many calories you're eating)!

Jess5825

I understand that. I have the same problem myself. I have a bodymedia fit, so I know how much I burn a day. I usually burn 3000 or more calories per day. So I can eat 2000 calories or more and still have a 1000 calorie deficit, so I know I won't gain, but I'm scared to do so. I've been debating getting so regular peanut butter and eating that since I'm usually not hungry enough even to eat that much, but then I'm afraid I'll go overboard on it. I've upped my calories before and I'll lose for 2 weeks after my body gets used to it, then plateau again. So I kind of want to up again but to scared to

taramaureen

Maybe it would help if you stop logging for a bit to try to get over the guilt. I know I feel just beyond guilty when I go over the goal set in my mind. It's actually somewhat hard for me to grasp the concept of net calories over actual ones, even though I know logically it makes sense. I've been stuck in the mindset of 1,200 calories/ day AND work out.

I switched my daily goals so that the "remaining calories" is actually my deficit for the day though and that's working well in getting over the net vs. actual vs. what I KNOW I need to maintain to continue to do what I do (training for races) Try it, you might like it:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/408674-the-olivia-method-the-cool-new-way-to-set-up-your-mfp-go

calderst

Every once in awhile when I notice myself really obsessing over the numbers, I take a short break from logging my calories and just try to listen to my body. Your body will tell you what it needs if you can quiet your mind (fears & guilt included) long enough to listen & obey. I usually try to still check in and look through the forums so I don't get totally out of the habit for when I feel ready to start logging again.

Best of luck to you in figuring it out!

paulaGetshealthy

I didn't mean to offend anyone by using the word "fatass." I meant they'd think I don't have any self-control and eat too much.

Anyway, thanks for the advice. I think I'm closing my diary for a couple weeks at least.

taramaureen

I didn't mean to offend anyone by using the word "fatass." I meant they'd think I don't have any self-control and eat too much.

Anyway, thanks for the advice. I think I'm closing my diary for a couple weeks at least.

Don't worry about it. People are too sensitive. I call myself a fatass all the time. When I was doing Warrior Dash I said "Get your fatass up this hill, fatty fatty" outloud during one of the obsitcals, I got a lot of strange looks after that LOL

StacySkinny

I didn't mean to offend anyone by using the word "fatass." I meant they'd think I don't have any self-control and eat too much.

Anyway, thanks for the advice. I think I'm closing my diary for a couple weeks at least.

That's probably a good idea. That way you're not tempted to "flub" your calorie counts a little to "save face". lol I've been tempted to privatize my diary too but thought - screw it, I don't care what a bunch of strangers online think of my eating habits. lol And it's true. I know I'm doing the best I can and on days I eat pizza or stuff that isn't healthy I don't really care if someone thinks it's gross. I don't know anyone here in real life so I don't care as much what they think of how I eat. hahah But yeah, if it bothers you what others think and are afraid people might judge you, just set your diary to private that way you can stay 100% honest with yourself.

HonkyTonks

My weight-loss has slowed down dramatically and I know I need to eat more to see a loss. I'm already eating 1600+ calories a day but only netting 950-1250.

With the 1600 calories I feel so stuffed and I tonight I literally had to force the food down my throat 'cause I was already so full. I'm eating every 2-3 hours.

But eating more itself isn't the problem. I know I could use walnuts in my salad, have a slightly larger portion, choose non-diet ingredients, etc. The problem I have is the guilt. The guilt of seeing the large numbers. I'm not used to netting more than 1290 at most, and seeing anything above that makes me cringe (partly due to the fact that some of my other MFP friends are netting no more than 1200 and I don't want them to think I'm a fatass 'cause I net more than they).

I KNOW that I have to eat more to lose. It kills me not seeing the numbers on the scale go down. But it kills me even more to net so many calories due to the fear of getting used to eating so much and reverting back to old habits.

It might be an irrational fear, but it's there. Is the only way to get over it by just sucking it up and doing it, or is there any other way to deal with it?

I actually know you feel. I freaked out over netting more than 1000 calories a day but after reading a lot on here about how I was harming my progress (and noticing a plateau) I eventually relaxed enough to up them. I am now trying to net 1200 a day. It's hard but you should just relax and do it, what's the worst that could happen? And ideally your friends on MFP should support you being healthy, if they're not doing then maybe you need to find new ones..