people talking you out of dieting or acting funny about it

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  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    I try to keep it to myself, as my family and most around me will give the disapproving look of "Why"?? If they offer something instead of telling them why, I just say.. "Not hungry, I had a big meal prior to getting here". I don't drink anymore, but back in the day, I would just tell people.. "Had too much to drink last night, so I'm taking it easy tonight" That would usually be the end of it. For me, the less deal I make of my changes, the lower number of comments I get back. I'm right at 5' feet tall and weigh around 125 lbs, so most take offense if I say I want to shape up. They assume I mean I want to look stick thin, not the case.. I want to get stronger and look more cut. I refuse to feel guilty for that.. but at the same time, it's not something I feel the need to discuss.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    I recently got a comment along the lines of "you *need* a piece of cake" (said at a party). I've gotten the old "you don't need to lose any more weight"...and so on.

    I don't sweat those kinds of comments at all - I'm doing what I'm doing for me...not to please the general populus.

    The irony is that no one will hesitate to tell you you're too thin or you should stop or you should EAT...but no one tells a heavy person, "hey...you really SHOULD start exercising, dontcha think?" or "wouldn't you be better off passing on dessert?".

    It's SKINNY DISCRIMINATION I tell ya!!! :laugh:
  • deniseg31
    deniseg31 Posts: 667 Member
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    I've gotten the "dirty looks" from people I haven't seen since before Is started this change which was back in March. They will look at me from head to toe and not say a thing which can sometimes be worse because it feels like they are sneering/belittling you with their ugly stares. This happened in particular with a cousin of mine that tried to get me to buy his diet pills so I could lose weight. I told him I didn't need that and that I'd do it the right way...he laughed at me. Fool!

    I started off at 219 and I've been working my way down and I'm proud of what I've accomplished...I just wish people would be nice about it.

    Maybe they are upset because they haven't managed to change for the better but we have no control over that...we can't force them to change.
  • rly123
    rly123 Posts: 63 Member
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    yes! I stopped drinking soda a little over 8 months ago and I always get this *big ol gasp* whaaat??? lol I also decresed my intake of fried foods like fries... so if we go to inn n out with some friends. I order the burger protein style without fries... I get the weirdest looks.... but I'm doing this for ME... I know great rewards follow my hard work... =D
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    It's all relative. For the most part, if you're not clearly overweight, you are going to get some funnly looks/comments if you say you're losing weight.

    After I lost some weight, every month or so I would start getting "Are you STILL losing MORE weight!!??"

    I get this all the time - I lost the majority of my excess weight back in Feb-June this year, but people still most days comment on how I am losing weight (er, no, I've been maintaining for nearly 4 months now), and asking if I am dieting intentionally. Firstly, no, I am not dieting, and secondly, how do you diet UNintentionally?
  • MacGirl0802
    MacGirl0802 Posts: 5
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    I get the same from my family. My sister tells me if I get back down to 135 I'll look strange cause Ive always have been bigger than her. My favorite is from my brother just because I dont eat unless Im hungry and my portions are half what they used to be he always asks if I'm eating enough or if I ate anything for the day. Of course I eat. I eat more now than before.
  • landay
    landay Posts: 43 Member
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    Thank you so much for posting this. I needed to read this today!! People have been telling me for a while that I don't need to lose more weight and that if I do, I'll look sick, sag, etc. Today it was even openly discussed with me by my co-workers. It's started to make me self-conscience, and made me think that maybe I do need to stop where I'm at. But after reading this post, along wtih all of the comments from people that are getting the exact same thing, it's re-iterized for me that this is MY goal and that I'm not out of line; they are. Especially since I am still at the top of my healthy weight spectrum.

    I think that people are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that a healthy weight looks anorexic and unnatural to them. Likewise, people are so addicted to the tastes of fat, sugar, and salt, that they think we're going overboard to eat healthily. It's all backwards. Our bodies deserve amazing, nutritious foods. We're not selling ourselves short by eating in a healthy way.
  • madameduffay
    madameduffay Posts: 166 Member
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    I think people take things personally due to insecurity. Like, you trying to lose weight is somehow commentary on how they should be too. I think it strikes something in them where your efforts highlights their own lack of effort.

    I think this because I used to feel it. I never made the comments that you are talking about, but when someone I knew was trying to lose weight that I didn't think needed it, I would feel bad that I wasn't making an effort.

    And that's my little armchair psychology moment of the day.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    I think that people are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that a healthy weight looks anorexic and unnatural to them. Likewise, people are so addicted to the tastes of fat, sugar, and salt, that they think we're going overboard to eat healthily. It's all backwards. Our bodies deserve amazing, nutritious foods. We're not selling ourselves short by eating in a healthy way.

    I completely agree!! I get snarky comments about trying to get in shape all the time, and what I've noticed is that the comments are usually from people who are overweight! If you want to make a change and be healthy FOR YOURSELF, you shouldn't let anyone bring you down! Go for it!
  • directorj
    directorj Posts: 537 Member
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    My friends each time we go out and I try to eat something that is at least halfway decent calls me a girl. But then I can brag about how much women I see when I run races (5k,10k..etc) :laugh:
  • soccerella
    soccerella Posts: 623 Member
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    glad to see i'm not the only one with this issue!
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
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    Recently, someone told me I "shouldn't be exercising so much because it'll increase my testerone" as a result to my insomnia.

    HUH!?! I just brush all this stuff off. We are in control of our bodies, not them. Who knows why anyone says anything!

    I'm going to quote Jay-Z here: "everybody can tell you how to do it, they never did it."
  • kjannan
    kjannan Posts: 248 Member
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    I find that people don't believe I've lost weight in a healthy way because it has dropped off so quickly. To me it hasn't been quick, I've lost 20lb in nearly 4 months. I've worked VERY hard for every tiny little bit of that loss!

    My overweight boss commented one day that he thought I'd lost enough weight & that I should stop. I am now in the healthy BMI range but I have a goal weight & I'm sticking to it so there's still more to come off. He then went on to gobble down a huge plate of butter chicken & coleslaw in front of me, I'm guessing his comment was sparked by jealousy & it made him feel better.

    Other people's remarks are water off a ducks back to me now, I'm not going to let them bring me down just because they can't lose weight & get fit. My confidence is sky high & nothings going to change that!
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    Surprised no has talked about SPOUSES/kids being the obstacle. My wife isn't all that supportive of my losing weight, she likes her 'teddy bear', even though the doctor and a few tests have told me about the dangers of belly fat. I have a couple of MFPeeps in the same boat, their spouses aren't supportive and create more of an obstacle.

    Not easy to lose when the one doing the shopping buys junk food and is such a picky eater that anything healthy I prepare as a meal only gets eaten BY ME as I hear all sighs from the family without them even trying anything.
  • jsteffen80
    jsteffen80 Posts: 136
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    The irony is that no one will hesitate to tell you you're too thin or you should stop or you should EAT...but no one tells a heavy person, "hey...you really SHOULD start exercising, dontcha think?" or "wouldn't you be better off passing on dessert?".
    I bet there wouldn't be such a weight problem across the globe if people did.
  • Toxictwist
    Toxictwist Posts: 274
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    My mom's always telling me I have lost enough weight, I am not at my goal weight yet/toned as much as i want to be.
    Sometimes when people hear I want to lose 10 more lbs, they freak out and tell me I will be too skinny.
    :s sometimes its a little discouraging but I am doing this for ME and no one else.
  • FatGirlSlim899
    FatGirlSlim899 Posts: 37 Member
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    I get soo much of these 'You don't need to lose weight' comments! I agree with the other posters, I think mostly people are jealous, and they don't want to see someone succeed at something they would like to.

    I hear you especially on the alcohol front. I unfortunatley have health problems that don't allow me to drink often, and if I do I am very, very ill for days. I also have come to realise over time that I have a dependancy on alcohol and that I'm better off without it. It gets so hard turning down drinks, and it's embarrasing when people keep pushing them on you, or even worse asking why you don't drink. I wish people would just accept the personal choices of others and not have to question and probe into them!
  • directorj
    directorj Posts: 537 Member
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    Surprised no has talked about SPOUSES/kids being the obstacle. My wife isn't all that supportive of my losing weight, she likes her 'teddy bear', even though the doctor and a few tests have told me about the dangers of belly fat. I have a couple of MFPeeps in the same boat, their spouses aren't supportive and create more of an obstacle.

    Not easy to lose when the one doing the shopping buys junk food and is such a picky eater that anything healthy I prepare as a meal only gets eaten BY ME as I hear all sighs from the family without them even trying anything.

    I have that exact problem with my girlfriend! Apparently she loved the "fat version" of me
  • Paige1108
    Paige1108 Posts: 432 Member
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    I just figure if you can't be supportive you deserve to be lied to. The whole time I was eating at a deficit, If they said "are you Still dieting" I just said "oh my goodness no, of course not" and that usually ended the discussion. But the comments don't stop when you are in maintenance, because you're still making healthier choices. But at least now I'm not really lying to them anymore.

    But in the end it's my body and I'm very proud of what I've done for me.
  • kit548emt
    kit548emt Posts: 91
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    The comments I keep getting are:
    If you lose any more weight you're going to blow away.
    You're still dieting???
    I'm gaining what you're losing!!
    I don't think you need to lose anymore!!
    You look fine, you shouldn't lose any more, that's not healthy!
    If you haven't lost any more then your body is telling you to stop (when I hit a plateau)

    In some cases I think they're trying to be supportive, but who knows. I'm 5'7" size 10 and 173.8 lbs, I'd like to get between 150 and 145 lbs, I definitely have more to lose. I just do my best to take the positive part out of what they say and leave the rest with them.

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