ugly

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i literally look in the mirror or at photos (very rare they are) and i think "wow, youre ugly"

i see lots of others on this site that are overweight, but they are beautiful.

i think that if i were pretty being overweight wouldnt depress me this much.

am i nuts?
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Replies

  • AZackery
    AZackery Posts: 2,035 Member
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    You are not ugly. Don't compare yourself to others.
  • KenziesMomma11
    KenziesMomma11 Posts: 258 Member
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    You are not ugly. Don't compare yourself to others.

    easier said than done...
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    you aint ugly...Ive seen ugly...and you aint ugly
  • WillieEverlearn
    WillieEverlearn Posts: 87 Member
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    Yes, you are nuts, because you're not ugly. :)
  • jesscaponigro
    jesscaponigro Posts: 114 Member
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    I feel the same way all the time. But looking at your picture, you are not ugly at all!! I used to think getting thinner would make me feel pretty, but I realized that is not going to change it. So I started looking at the features that I know are beautiful, like my eyes, everyone always compliments me on them, so when I look in the mirror, and I think "Ugh I'm hideous" I focus on my eyes, and then I'm more like, "wow, I'm lucky to have such pretty blue eyes". It's hard to convince yourself of something you have stuck in your head. But you might be surprised how many people think you are beautiful and they are hideous! Try focusing on something that you think is beautiful about yourself when you look in the mirror. It's very easy to point out all of your own flaws and even harder to find the ones that really are perfect about you!
  • AmandaJoi25
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    You should never say that about yourself. You are who you are and you should love the way you look because there is only one of you. Don't think about what the standard of beauty is, everyone is beautiful in there own way.
  • KenziesMomma11
    KenziesMomma11 Posts: 258 Member
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    you aint ugly...Ive seen ugly...and you aint ugly


    this made me crack up...thank you lol
  • KenziesMomma11
    KenziesMomma11 Posts: 258 Member
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    I feel the same way all the time. But looking at your picture, you are not ugly at all!! I used to think getting thinner would make me feel pretty, but I realized that is not going to change it. So I started looking at the features that I know are beautiful, like my eyes, everyone always compliments me on them, so when I look in the mirror, and I think "Ugh I'm hideous" I focus on my eyes, and then I'm more like, "wow, I'm lucky to have such pretty blue eyes". It's hard to convince yourself of something you have stuck in your head. But you might be surprised how many people think you are beautiful and they are hideous! Try focusing on something that you think is beautiful about yourself when you look in the mirror. It's very easy to point out all of your own flaws and even harder to find the ones that really are perfect about you!

    honestly can't find a thing i like lol
  • jesscaponigro
    jesscaponigro Posts: 114 Member
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    Really take a look. You have beautiful hair, start there. Focus on that for the next week. Really it works, just try it.
  • KenziesMomma11
    KenziesMomma11 Posts: 258 Member
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    Really take a look. You have beautiful hair, start there. Focus on that for the next week. Really it works, just try it.

    this also cracks me up...i was just complaining to my Husband about how awful my hair looks! i was a blonde before the baby, and really think it looks better on me...brightens up my face
  • GeneaCindy
    GeneaCindy Posts: 148 Member
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    #1 - you are not ugly
    #2 - someone who was ugly could not have produced a baby that cute :smile:
    #3 - be careful what you tell yourself - change the tape! If you want that beautiful baby to grow up with a healthy self-image, you have to be careful what you tell yourself - it might imprint.
    #4 - I know it is a cliche, but seriously, beauty comes from the inside. You are lovable! You are worth it!
    #5 - TOM check? Hormones out of whack? If you can't shake it after a couple of days, see your doctor.

    Hang in there!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    First and foremost you aren't ugly, I know that us telling you that won't change what you think you see in the mirror. But you aren't, I've seen much worse.

    Now I'm just now recently starting to feel some what pretty, but it's more of a "Oh there has to be a pretty person in there." My self esteem has been low since I've been over weight / obese. I always have a hard time accepting complements, I'm working on it. It's easy to say "Thanks" but to truly to accept it, is hard. I find that the more my self esteem boosts, the easier it is becoming.

    Beauty is more then skin deep, but you have a really beautiful face.
  • KenziesMomma11
    KenziesMomma11 Posts: 258 Member
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    First and foremost you aren't ugly, I know that us telling you that won't change what you think you see in the mirror. But you aren't, I've seen much worse.

    Now I'm just now recently starting to feel some what pretty, but it's more of a "Oh there has to be a pretty person in there." My self esteem has been low since I've been over weight / obese. I always have a hard time accepting complements, I'm working on it. It's easy to say "Thanks" but to truly to accept it, is hard. I find that the more my self esteem boosts, the easier it is becoming.

    Beauty is more then skin deep, but you have a really beautiful face.

    Thank you.

    I have a very hard time with complements as well. I actually get aggitated when my Husband calls and says "hey sexy lady" or something else like that....its weird huh LOL
  • jesscaponigro
    jesscaponigro Posts: 114 Member
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    Really take a look. You have beautiful hair, start there. Focus on that for the next week. Really it works, just try it.

    this also cracks me up...i was just complaining to my Husband about how awful my hair looks! i was a blonde before the baby, and really think it looks better on me...brightens up my face

    Well you can always change your hair color back to blonde! If that's what makes you happy do it! I think no matter what you are told you have it stuck in your head that you are not pretty. Try having an open mind and seriously find something on you that you find attractive, or better yet, ask your husband what he thinks is beautiful on your face!
  • KenziesMomma11
    KenziesMomma11 Posts: 258 Member
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    #1 - you are not ugly
    #2 - someone who was ugly could not have produced a baby that cute :smile:
    #3 - be careful what you tell yourself - change the tape! If you want that beautiful baby to grow up with a healthy self-image, you have to be careful what you tell yourself - it might imprint.
    #4 - I know it is a cliche, but seriously, beauty comes from the inside. You are lovable! You are worth it!
    #5 - TOM check? Hormones out of whack? If you can't shake it after a couple of days, see your doctor.

    Hang in there!

    You are 100% right. Its just so damn hard to see past the weight. I feel like my face looks like lumpy icecream...if that even makes sense. my eyeballs are just kinda mooshed in there and my nose is huge! ROFLOL

    Dont get me wrong, I am married with a baby...somebody thinks I'm beautiful, but I feel like I carry weight EXTRA badly.
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    Like everyone else above said, your not ugly. Your really beautiful. Just tell yourself that everyday :)
  • KenziesMomma11
    KenziesMomma11 Posts: 258 Member
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    Really take a look. You have beautiful hair, start there. Focus on that for the next week. Really it works, just try it.

    this also cracks me up...i was just complaining to my Husband about how awful my hair looks! i was a blonde before the baby, and really think it looks better on me...brightens up my face

    Well you can always change your hair color back to blonde! If that's what makes you happy do it! I think no matter what you are told you have it stuck in your head that you are not pretty. Try having an open mind and seriously find something on you that you find attractive, or better yet, ask your husband what he thinks is beautiful on your face!

    Finances are tight with little one and the woman I was sitting for has decided to quit her job and move to Atlanta...but my Husband okayed me getting my hair highlighted next week, before we travel to IL for Christmas with his family.

    I could never ask my Husband that question, I'm too chicken. What if he paused?!?!!!
  • KenziesMomma11
    KenziesMomma11 Posts: 258 Member
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    Like everyone else above said, your not ugly. Your really beautiful. Just tell yourself that everyday :)

    thank you, i'm trying.

    i also havent gotten showered, dressed, hair done, and makeup on too often since my daughter was born in march...so i think that plays into it a little bit.....also our area is full of DONE UP stay at home moms...so even in the grocery store i feel akward
  • kmbrooks15
    kmbrooks15 Posts: 941 Member
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    #1 - you are not ugly
    #2 - someone who was ugly could not have produced a baby that cute :smile:
    #3 - be careful what you tell yourself - change the tape! If you want that beautiful baby to grow up with a healthy self-image, you have to be careful what you tell yourself - it might imprint.
    #4 - I know it is a cliche, but seriously, beauty comes from the inside. You are lovable! You are worth it!
    #5 - TOM check? Hormones out of whack? If you can't shake it after a couple of days, see your doctor.

    Hang in there!

    You are 100% right. Its just so damn hard to see past the weight. I feel like my face looks like lumpy icecream...if that even makes sense. my eyeballs are just kinda mooshed in there and my nose is huge! ROFLOL

    Dont get me wrong, I am married with a baby...somebody thinks I'm beautiful, but I feel like I carry weight EXTRA badly.

    The good thing is that as you lose weight, it will likely show first in your face.

    You have very nice hair, but if you feel you look better blonde, get it colored again. You could set that as a reward for making your first mini-goal! You need to reward yourself as you go along, and you want to avoid food rewards. Getting your hair colored would be a good first reward. My first will be a mani/pedi; I hit my goal this week, but I'm requiring that I maintain it for a week before I go (doggone scales like to play tricks on me and go up and down a bit!). Think of something else that makes you feel beautiful and set that as your second mini-goal reward.

    I also agree with the poster who said that someone ugly could not produce such a beautiful baby...she is adorable, and so is her mama!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    Okay, I checked out your photos, and when you don't smile you look bewildered and unhappy. Not pretty. When you smile, you glow and you look like a really sweet person. Very pretty.

    Not saying paste a smile on 24/7, cause you know what? It's not your job to look pretty all the time. Unless you're getting paid for it, in which case, smile away.

    You have a lovely skin tone, I like your hair color personally, but if you don't, you could always dye it, either permanent or a wash out dye, your choice. You're also bright-eyed and despite being overweight, you give the impression of being healthy and energetic. Well, you'd have to be, to keep up with your baby plus babysitting!

    Are you a six foot tall supermodel? Er, no. Most of us aren't. If we were, guess what? Supermodels wouldn't make any money, they'd be a dime a dozen. I hear that industry is tough enough without added competition. Leave them to their starvation-induced surprise fainting sessions (ever seen Project Runway outtakes?) and wish them luck, they need it so they can make enough money to offset the health problems that come with their line of work.


    Also, look at your husband objectively. Chances are, he's not going to be making it onto the cover of GQ, either. Why? Because most men, like most women, don't look like that. Lucky for male models! Even if he is one of the very few who could make it in modeling, so what? Do you think he's only going to love you if you look airbrushed all the time? If so, what do you want him for? Sounds exhausting!

    I'm not saying beauty doesn't make life easier, because it can. I'm not saying I've never looked in the mirror and cursed my body because it's never been the perfect height, weight, and proportions, because I have. But it never changed anything, it never did me a bit of good. I could have just concentrated on getting in shape the healthy way and spent my energy on something else instead of on looking in the mirror and wishing I'd picked the right freak of nature parents for those perfect beauty genes.