Kids Say the Darndest Things

RunHardBeStrong

My son was 3...

me: Colton quit picking your nose.
Colton: I'm just moving the booger so I can get to the itch.

bhalter

My best friend's kid Landon asked his mom about boy and girls' privates and she told him girls have a vagina. He was at his grandparents house and his grandpa said something about grandma not being able to get her big butt off the couch and Landon goes "Yea, she can't get her big VAGINA off the couch!"

I'm a full-time mom to my fiancee's daughter and she says some pretty funny things:
“I love you. I’m never leaving you and dad.” - Josie
“But what about when you grow up?” - me
“No. I’m not going to get married or have kids, I’m just going to live with you and dad forever in your house.” - Josie
“Who’s going to pay for you the rest of your life?” - me
“You.” - Josie

Josie: "How many days does it take for someone to get fat?"
Me: Um....kind of a while, but then out of nowhere you can't fit into your prom dress."
Josie: And then you explode."

And the grand finale....
Josie: What are those things down your shirt?
Me: Boobs. All girls have them. You'll have them someday too.
Josie: Why does daddy have them?

jennajava

well my almost 8 month old told me "bye bye" when i left for work this morning!
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proud mama.

curvygirl512

All of my students are adults (I work at a University), and one of the students hit me with this one this morning.

Team work makes the dream work!

How can you not love that!?

jennajava

haha cute!

Pollywog39

My 4-yr old grandson has some great ones ! I try to write them down, so I'll remember them.

From a few months ago........
Dane: Gramma, I need a hot bubba (a bottle with warm milk)
Me: Daney, I thought you didn't drink hot bubbas anymore?
Dane: Sometimes I do, but I'm trying to quit.
Me: Are you addicted, Dane?
Dane: Yes, I think I am.

He was out with his Mom and Dad and Auntie on a little fishing excursion last summer...........they were on a pontoon boat, and Dad said to Mom, "Erica, put the buoys out". Dane heard this, and in HIS version, he said, "Ya, Mama, put your boobs out."

Dane was at home with Mom......she was in the kitchen, putzing with something, and Dane was watching a movie on TV. Erica noticed that the movie ended, and an info-mercial was on - for the Genie Bra. She went to the living room to turn it off, and Dane said, "Momma, don't - That's one of my FAVORITE SHOWS!"

AwesomelyAmber

Last night in discussing my son's Christmas party at school
Cam: Mom I signed you up for some cookie decorations for school.
Me: You also just signed me up for paying for your basket ball...good thing I didn't buy you any Christmas presents yet, I know where all my money is going! (laughing because it really isn't a big deal to spend a little $ on stuff that he is loves to do)
Cam: Well mom, I know how cheap you are, so I tried to hold out for her to say 'chips' but she kept saying other stuff.
Me: How CHEAP I am? Thanks Cam. *eyeroll*
Cam: Well, really mom, I'm sure you can find all the stuff you need right at the Dollar Tree! I told my teacher that is probably what you would do anyway.

Thanks Kid! :laugh:

thunt1990

Oh my gosh kids are freaking hilarious. I work with the kids at church and they say some pretty hilarious things.

Me: What are the fruits of the spirit?
Kids: Apples, bananas, grapes, oranges

The funniest is from my best friends nephew. My BF always joked that she was going to marry Paul Goldscmidt, the AZ diamondbacks baseball player. and one night we were talking about how we are never going to get married. Her nephew who's 7 said, "Wait arent you going to marry Paul Bunyan? He tall enough for you and everything" We were like "What??" and finally figured out it was Paul Goldschmidt. It was really hilarious at the time!

curvygirl512

One of our University students brought his son to class today b/c he didn't have a sitter. At just 2 1/2, he was a pretty quiet little guy. When our admin asst asked what he had in his drink cup, out mumbled something that sounded like, "Gin and tonic." Some parents will do _anything_ to keep their kid quiet. Poor thing couldn't understand why we were laughing so hard.