Whats divorce got to do with it?

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soarinup
soarinup Posts: 20
in Motivation and Support
Funny tag line huh? For all you MFPers who have lost a spouse to infidelity on their part, I feel ya! I know that I began my weight loss as part of the divorce process, and sadly it works for me. The strain of the whole "D" causes faster weight loss. I hope I will be able to stop losing weight when the time comes..... ironic thing is,,,he is and always has been an obese guy, whereas I put my weight on when I married him!
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Replies

  • groomchick
    groomchick Posts: 610 Member
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    I'm not a vengeful person but... you go girl! There is No sweeter revenge!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    yes yes yes!!! :devil: :drinker:
  • Riyanna
    Riyanna Posts: 11
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    You can do this :)
  • EddieG77
    EddieG77 Posts: 185 Member
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    Sorry to hear about all of the "crap" that you are/went through!!! It appears to me that he has lost out big time!!! You are beautiful and hope that you stay strong!!! Do it for yourself!!!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I've noticed with a lot of friends and their friends even have lost weight rather quickly after a huge breakup, not even necessarily a divorce or due to infidelity. It's stressful to have your life drastically and/or abruptly changed. I know I dropped 10lb in just a month. Just couldn't eat, and running was the only thing that made my brain shut off for a little while. So good luck to you. Be good to your body along the way.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I've never been divorced, but after a particularly painful breakup a few years ago, I literally could not eat for a couple weeks. I dropped a total of 25 pounds in the process and it stayed off.

    Eventually (before I got TOO skinny!) my appetite came back, so the losing stopped.
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,761 Member
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    At the risk of sounding like a jerk...I'm at the opposite end...I'm the one that's leaving a marriage because ironically enough, I've found that ONE person for me...on THIS site (ShadowMommy). Wasn't even looking for anyone.

    But even throughout this whole weight loss journey I was met with resistance, I was being "selfish" because I took up running and ran a 1/2 Marathon in October after dropping 50lbs starting in May (when this whole thing started). After that things just kind of started to let go...I got back into my bad habits etc.

    But ShadowMommy is my rock...inspiration, encouraging, my motivation, and is there anytime to listen through the whole divorce thing, etc...regardless of who initiated it, it's hard on both people. But without her, I probably would have slipped way back into my old habits of not working out, eating terrible and not having a goal, and gaining it all back.

    So yeah, losing the weight through a divorce can be done!! Good luck with it, and I wish you continued success!!! Just takes some more focus and motivation!

    Things happen for a reason I guess....I know I didn't expect to find anyone here...nor be so happy in my life right now even while going through one of the most difficult periods.
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
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    Joe, you didn't hook up with my ex, did ya? Cause she HATED my weight loss.
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
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    Well, now you're shedding dead weight two ways: the slug is OUT OF YOUR LIFE, and you are getting healthy.

    And guess what? You're going to be engaged in some fitness related activity - doing something you enjoy, and somebody wonderful will just show up. Nature abhors a vacuum, especially when it comes to common interest and love.

    This could be a most exciting time for you - ENJOY!
  • twocsmom
    twocsmom Posts: 120 Member
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    I'm right there with ya-except kinda reversed!! I started gaining weight when we began dating almost 20 years ago and reached my max as a result of the stress he was creating in our marriage. As soon as he left and I got the divorce over with my weight has started coming of easily (well-relatively because I do have to work for it). I now weigh less than I did when I got pregnant with my 2nd child. Sweetest revenge? The ex is noticing the difference in me and has commented on how good I'm looking...ha!
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
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    My divorce took two years. It was acrimonious as heck. By the end I was my skinniest ever due to the stress. Not healthy. Life is good now and I got fat and happy. Now working on fit and happy
  • caligirl2802
    caligirl2802 Posts: 232 Member
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    Good for you!!!

    I'm right there with ya too.... I found that being divorced and not having to take care of a morbidly obese husband, three kids and whole menagerie of pets meant I had the time to focus on me, to get to the gym, to take up healthy activities such as karate, badminton, running... I LOVE my new life and the side effect of it (weight loss, confidence gain, overall improved health)!!!!!

    I am not a vengeful person, however I take a great deal of pride in the fact that my ex had gastric bypass surgery about the same time I got serious about losing weight, however I have put in a great deal of effort to lose the weight I have lost and it gives me great satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment, he on the other hand has only lost about 50lbs more than me in the same time frame (he did have much more than me to lose initially) but he went for the easy way out!
  • psb13
    psb13 Posts: 629
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    i started this journey miserable and in a marriage i had wanted out of for years but stayed in because of our daughter. i was trying to take back my life. my daughter will graduate from hs in the spring and i finally told my husband that i was leaving once she graduated. about 3 months later he told me he was fixing up an apartment in his brother's house and was moving out as soon as it was ready. he stopped contributing financially ( i make about 3 times as much as he does) and was going to leave me with all the bills (and joint debt). that was about a month ago. since then he has developed some potentially serious health problems and is still living here-has given me some money towards household expenses. i am sleeping on an air mattress in the spare room. not sure what to do at this point. i honestly would like him to just leave but i don't feel like i can kick him out now. my eating is heading in the wrong direction and i haven't been working out like i was. it's good to hear that some folks managed to maintain their weight loss through the breakup of their marriage. it gives me hope!!
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
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    My wife didnt cheat, she just walked out. (I didnt cheat either). In the 3 months she's been gone I've lost 20 pounds (i joined MFP a couple weeks after she left). I can tell from pictures she has put on weight since leaving me. Its not because of stress I've lost, it's from being on here and eating less and exercising. She's let herself go cause she thought surgery would fix her but now she can't have the surgery. Oh well.... I don't feel bad at all, she abandoned me.
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
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    sadly, thats how a friend of mine managed to lose 100 pounds..it wasnt infidelity, but their childs sickness that led them to it..sad either way..im glad you are getting heathier tho..no matter what the reason..awesome job:drinker:
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
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    totally in your shoes too.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I'm sorry you are going through that. Heart-ache sucks. The only time I lost weigh without trying was when my boyfriend, who I was completely in love with, dumped me out of the blue. 10 pounds in a week. Hang in there. It gets better.

    My advise, find a guy with a motor cycle and have him take you far a ride. I know it sounds random but its exhilarating and a temporary distraction.

    Keep busy..............
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    You go girl!
  • holzjw1482
    holzjw1482 Posts: 120 Member
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    I've noticed with a lot of friends and their friends even have lost weight rather quickly after a huge breakup, not even necessarily a divorce or due to infidelity. It's stressful to have your life drastically and/or abruptly changed. I know I dropped 10lb in just a month. Just couldn't eat, and running was the only thing that made my brain shut off for a little while. So good luck to you. Be good to your body along the way.

    Great advice!
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    bump for later

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