Tell me I can't lose 200 lbs
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Here's my $0.02....
If you cannot stick with a goal that is important to you without having someone to say "F-U" to, and "show them they're wrong...."
Then no, you will not be successful. Because, really, having the folks on here saying it at your request is entirely artificial. And let's be honest; anger is a good short term motivator. Not a good long term one. Unless you just stay angry all the time, which creates its own long-term emotional and health crises.
Why do you need to be oppositional to succeed? What will keep you motivated to STAY at your goal weight once you get there (assuming, for the moment, that you will)? If there's nobody around to thumb your nose at, are you capable of making the hard but healthy decisions because you love yourself enough to do it?
Answer those questions honestly, and you might get yourself closer to a point where you don't "need" relative strangers to tell you a bold-faced lie.0 -
^ True, we are the ONLY person that can make changes within ourselves, no one can do it for us either by words or actions.Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. If you're so sick of being overweight, CHANGE IT! You got yourself there, you're the only one that can take you back. You haven't listed a medical reason (that I can see) so what's your excuse?! If you don't get off your butt and make an effort, then no. You can't do it.
Best of luck to you :flowerforyou:
:drinker: 0 -
It does seem to me you did ask for that, that's how I heard your post as well. Someone mentioned what will you do when you reach goal if it takes others to motivate you by pissing you off? Good question...Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. If you're so sick of being overweight, CHANGE IT! You got yourself there, you're the only one that can take you back. You haven't listed a medical reason (that I can see) so what's your excuse?!
First, I don't "feel sorry" for myself. Never have felt sorry for myself for being fat, and hopefully I never will. Second I didn't get myself here, you don't know me and you don't know my life. "you're the only one that can take you back" Take me back to where? What are you talking about?
Second, there is no reason to be hateful and rude. Putting a cute smiley flower after your rude comment doesn't mitigate that rudeness, by the way.
You asked for tough love... I think you got it!
If this comment makes you mad- great, use that and show 'em!
I think you must have miss-read my post then if you think I asked for "tough love". Me asking for someone to tell me that I can't do this DOES NOT translate into someone telling me that I'm feeling sorry for myself and asking me "what's my excuse" for being fat (as if that is ANY of her business).
Positive reinforcement works best for me... I can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward, the whole world tosses that out daily and it sure never got me too far. It took ME making the decision to finally take action.:flowerforyou:0 -
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." - Yoda
I agree with the previous poster, anger is a good short term motivator but I fell into that trap as well.
Was angry, did something about it for a while, then I gave up because my mind told me I was not angry any more.
Now, I do use anger as motivation during my boxing work outs but even then, it really does nothing for me other than hurt me when I exert myself too hard.0 -
It does seem to me you did ask for that, that's how I heard your post as well. Someone mentioned what will you do when you reach goal if it takes others to motivate you by pissing you off? Good question...Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. If you're so sick of being overweight, CHANGE IT! You got yourself there, you're the only one that can take you back. You haven't listed a medical reason (that I can see) so what's your excuse?!
First, I don't "feel sorry" for myself. Never have felt sorry for myself for being fat, and hopefully I never will. Second I didn't get myself here, you don't know me and you don't know my life. "you're the only one that can take you back" Take me back to where? What are you talking about?
Second, there is no reason to be hateful and rude. Putting a cute smiley flower after your rude comment doesn't mitigate that rudeness, by the way.
You asked for tough love... I think you got it!
If this comment makes you mad- great, use that and show 'em!
I think you must have miss-read my post then if you think I asked for "tough love". Me asking for someone to tell me that I can't do this DOES NOT translate into someone telling me that I'm feeling sorry for myself and asking me "what's my excuse" for being fat (as if that is ANY of her business).
Positive reinforcement works best for me... I can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward, the whole world tosses that out daily and it sure never got me too far. It took ME making the decision to finally take action.:flowerforyou:
Well obviously I worded the post wrong if you really think I "asked for that".
I'm happy that "positive reinforcement" works best for you. But that's the cool thing about being human, we all do things differently and we all have different things that work for us. The key is to find what works for US. You can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward? So? I didn't ask you to. You're not me. That's one thing about this journey that people need to learn, we are all DIFFERENT. And trying to push YOUR way of doing things on someone else is a waste of time.0 -
Perhaps I did mis-read your post, it's always hard when you just see something written to know what else is behind it.
Either way, I hope you find what you need. Good luck on the journey!0 -
It does seem to me you did ask for that, that's how I heard your post as well. Someone mentioned what will you do when you reach goal if it takes others to motivate you by pissing you off? Good question...Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. If you're so sick of being overweight, CHANGE IT! You got yourself there, you're the only one that can take you back. You haven't listed a medical reason (that I can see) so what's your excuse?!
First, I don't "feel sorry" for myself. Never have felt sorry for myself for being fat, and hopefully I never will. Second I didn't get myself here, you don't know me and you don't know my life. "you're the only one that can take you back" Take me back to where? What are you talking about?
Second, there is no reason to be hateful and rude. Putting a cute smiley flower after your rude comment doesn't mitigate that rudeness, by the way.
You asked for tough love... I think you got it!
If this comment makes you mad- great, use that and show 'em!
I think you must have miss-read my post then if you think I asked for "tough love". Me asking for someone to tell me that I can't do this DOES NOT translate into someone telling me that I'm feeling sorry for myself and asking me "what's my excuse" for being fat (as if that is ANY of her business).
Positive reinforcement works best for me... I can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward, the whole world tosses that out daily and it sure never got me too far. It took ME making the decision to finally take action.:flowerforyou:
Well obviously I worded the post wrong if you really think I "asked for that".
I'm happy that "positive reinforcement" works best for you. But that's the cool thing about being human, we all do things differently and we all have different things that work for us. The key is to find what works for US. You can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward? So? I didn't ask you to. You're not me. That's one thing about this journey that people need to learn, we are all DIFFERENT. And trying to push YOUR way of doing things on someone else is a waste of time.
Hahaha why so defensive? You came here asking for fake "can't"s, someone posted a real one. A lot of us on here are overweight and trying to do something about it. If you make so many excuses you wont be able to do it. Take a chill pill and stop trying to belittle people that are only trying to help.0 -
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." - Yoda
I agree with the previous poster, anger is a good short term motivator but I fell into that trap as well.
Was angry, did something about it for a while, then I gave up because my mind told me I was not angry any more.
Now, I do use anger as motivation during my boxing work outs but even then, it really does nothing for me other than hurt me when I exert myself too hard.
This post has nothing to do with fear. And until someone got hateful it didn't have anything to do with anger either (I get angry when people get hateful). You don't have to be angry with someone to want to prove someone wrong. I get plenty of *kitten* kissing and people telling me I can do it. Just wanted a couple of people saying "you can't do it". Their's nothing wrong with wanting to have someone that you want to prove wrong. It helps you work harder because you want to prove them wrong. It's helped me accomplish most of the major goals in my life. I've always been told "you can't" - "you aren't talented enough", "you aren't pretty enough", "you aren't this", "you can't do that". I have no tolerance for being told that and it helps to motivate me because I can pull that up whenever I need that extra strength or push, when all else is about to let me drop. When I can remember "you can't" it gives me that little extra go get across the finish line.
I don't ask you to understand it. I don't ask you to agree with it. But I do ask that you respect my decisions when it comes to my own weight loss journey. Because the bottom line is I owe it to myself to do what WORKS FOR ME. And that's all anyone has the right to ask of me.0 -
It does seem to me you did ask for that, that's how I heard your post as well. Someone mentioned what will you do when you reach goal if it takes others to motivate you by pissing you off? Good question...Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. If you're so sick of being overweight, CHANGE IT! You got yourself there, you're the only one that can take you back. You haven't listed a medical reason (that I can see) so what's your excuse?!
First, I don't "feel sorry" for myself. Never have felt sorry for myself for being fat, and hopefully I never will. Second I didn't get myself here, you don't know me and you don't know my life. "you're the only one that can take you back" Take me back to where? What are you talking about?
Second, there is no reason to be hateful and rude. Putting a cute smiley flower after your rude comment doesn't mitigate that rudeness, by the way.
You asked for tough love... I think you got it!
If this comment makes you mad- great, use that and show 'em!
I think you must have miss-read my post then if you think I asked for "tough love". Me asking for someone to tell me that I can't do this DOES NOT translate into someone telling me that I'm feeling sorry for myself and asking me "what's my excuse" for being fat (as if that is ANY of her business).
Positive reinforcement works best for me... I can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward, the whole world tosses that out daily and it sure never got me too far. It took ME making the decision to finally take action.:flowerforyou:
Well obviously I worded the post wrong if you really think I "asked for that".
I'm happy that "positive reinforcement" works best for you. But that's the cool thing about being human, we all do things differently and we all have different things that work for us. The key is to find what works for US. You can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward? So? I didn't ask you to. You're not me. That's one thing about this journey that people need to learn, we are all DIFFERENT. And trying to push YOUR way of doing things on someone else is a waste of time.
Hahaha why so defensive? You came here asking for fake "can't"s, someone posted a real one. A lot of us on here are overweight and trying to do something about it. If you make so many excuses you wont be able to do it. Take a chill pill and stop trying to belittle people that are only trying to help.
Why so defensive? Really? She didn't post a fake "can't" she posted something rude and hateful. There is a BIG DIFFERENCE. If you can't see that, there's nothing I can do about that.0 -
Here's my $0.02....
If you cannot stick with a goal that is important to you without having someone to say "F-U" to, and "show them they're wrong...."
Then no, you will not be successful. Because, really, having the folks on here saying it at your request is entirely artificial. And let's be honest; anger is a good short term motivator. Not a good long term one. Unless you just stay angry all the time, which creates its own long-term emotional and health crises.
Why do you need to be oppositional to succeed? What will keep you motivated to STAY at your goal weight once you get there (assuming, for the moment, that you will)? If there's nobody around to thumb your nose at, are you capable of making the hard but healthy decisions because you love yourself enough to do it?
Answer those questions honestly, and you might get yourself closer to a point where you don't "need" relative strangers to tell you a bold-faced lie.
As I said to another poster - This post has nothing to do with fear. And until someone got hateful it didn't have anything to do with anger either (I get angry when people get hateful). You don't have to be angry with someone to want to prove someone wrong. I get plenty of *kitten* kissing and people telling me I can do it. Just wanted a couple of people saying "you can't do it". Their's nothing wrong with wanting to have someone that you want to prove wrong. It helps you work harder because you want to prove them wrong. It's helped me accomplish most of the major goals in my life. I've always been told "you can't" - "you aren't talented enough", "you aren't pretty enough", "you aren't this", "you can't do that". I have no tolerance for being told that and it helps to motivate me because I can pull that up whenever I need that extra strength or push, when all else is about to let me drop. When I can remember "you can't" it gives me that little extra go get across the finish line.
I don't ask you to understand it. I don't ask you to agree with it. But I do ask that you respect my decisions when it comes to my own weight loss journey. Because the bottom line is I owe it to myself to do what WORKS FOR ME. And that's all anyone has the right to ask of me.0 -
Perhaps I did mis-read your post, it's always hard when you just see something written to know what else is behind it.
Either way, I hope you find what you need. Good luck on the journey!
Thank you, I appreciate that!
I think I will find what I need and I can always use more good luck! heheh Thanks again! 
0 -
I am usually not one too say negative things on mfp but you started it all. You asked people too kick You in the *kitten* and too tell you, you can't do it because in some way this is suppose to help you then you get all defensive when people react negative too your request of negativity. I suppose you just wanted us too copy and paste your own words and that was going to be good for you. I disagree regarding the fear issue, your original post is full of fear, full of omg I can't do it I can't keep up with unless someone tells me I can't do it. You fear that this time around it's not going to work, then you got angry when people started making points about how this is not healthy behavior .. I stand by the wisdom of Yoda and I sincerely hope you work out your issues because until then you are going going repeat this lovely pattern you are so eloquently displaying here. Hey I was there at one point I send you positive energy in the hopes for the best of you and your situation.0
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I see so much fear and hopelessness, it appears you may not realize you're putting it out there (often times we're the last to realize it ourselves). I see a great deal of defensiveness as well. If someone posts a question and wants an honest response then gets very upset when they receive a response back that they disagree with.. There's not much anyone can do for you until you accept how you might actually have come across. Fear, unhappiness, a deep sense of hopelessness and anger with honest responses is what I read in your responses/main post.
It does seem to me you did ask for that, that's how I heard your post as well. Someone mentioned what will you do when you reach goal if it takes others to motivate you by pissing you off? Good question...Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. If you're so sick of being overweight, CHANGE IT! You got yourself there, you're the only one that can take you back. You haven't listed a medical reason (that I can see) so what's your excuse?!
First, I don't "feel sorry" for myself. Never have felt sorry for myself for being fat, and hopefully I never will. Second I didn't get myself here, you don't know me and you don't know my life. "you're the only one that can take you back" Take me back to where? What are you talking about?
Second, there is no reason to be hateful and rude. Putting a cute smiley flower after your rude comment doesn't mitigate that rudeness, by the way.
You asked for tough love... I think you got it!
If this comment makes you mad- great, use that and show 'em!
I think you must have miss-read my post then if you think I asked for "tough love". Me asking for someone to tell me that I can't do this DOES NOT translate into someone telling me that I'm feeling sorry for myself and asking me "what's my excuse" for being fat (as if that is ANY of her business).
Positive reinforcement works best for me... I can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward, the whole world tosses that out daily and it sure never got me too far. It took ME making the decision to finally take action.:flowerforyou:
Well obviously I worded the post wrong if you really think I "asked for that".
I'm happy that "positive reinforcement" works best for you. But that's the cool thing about being human, we all do things differently and we all have different things that work for us. The key is to find what works for US. You can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward? So? I didn't ask you to. You're not me. That's one thing about this journey that people need to learn, we are all DIFFERENT. And trying to push YOUR way of doing things on someone else is a waste of time.
Hahaha why so defensive? You came here asking for fake "can't"s, someone posted a real one. A lot of us on here are overweight and trying to do something about it. If you make so many excuses you wont be able to do it. Take a chill pill and stop trying to belittle people that are only trying to help.
Why so defensive? Really? She didn't post a fake "can't" she posted something rude and hateful. There is a BIG DIFFERENCE. If you can't see that, there's nothing I can do about that.
Hope you're able to sort out your true feelings one day soon, it makes ALL the difference in creating a healthy environment for ourselves & those around us.:drinker:0 -
I am usually not one too say negative things on mfp but you started it all. You asked people too kick You in the *kitten* and too tell you, you can't do it because in some way this is suppose to help you then you get all defensive when people react negative too your request of negativity. I suppose you just wanted us too copy and paste your own words and that was going to be good for you. I disagree regarding the fear issue, your original post is full of fear, full of omg I can't do it I can't keep up with unless someone tells me I can't do it. You fear that this time around it's not going to work, then you got angry when people started making points about how this is not healthy behavior .. I stand by the wisdom of Yoda and I sincerely hope you work out your issues because until then you are going going repeat this lovely pattern you are so eloquently displaying here. Hey I was there at one point I send you positive energy in the hopes for the best of you and your situation.
HAHAH Well I disagrees with your disagreement. :P lol Some of you didn't get this post. And that's ok. You don't have to get it. Because like I said, this is for me. Not anyone else. I appreciate that your heart is in the right place, but know that your worry for me isn't necessary. Thanks for the positive energy. 0 -
I think you CAN...'t do it!!!0
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I see so much fear and hopelessness, it appears you may not realize you're putting it out there (often times we're the last to realize it ourselves). I see a great deal of defensiveness as well. If someone posts a question and wants an honest response then gets very upset when they receive a response back that they disagree with.. There's not much anyone can do for you until you accept how you might actually have come across. Fear, unhappiness, a deep sense of hopelessness and anger with honest responses is what I read in your responses/main post.
It does seem to me you did ask for that, that's how I heard your post as well. Someone mentioned what will you do when you reach goal if it takes others to motivate you by pissing you off? Good question...Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. If you're so sick of being overweight, CHANGE IT! You got yourself there, you're the only one that can take you back. You haven't listed a medical reason (that I can see) so what's your excuse?!
First, I don't "feel sorry" for myself. Never have felt sorry for myself for being fat, and hopefully I never will. Second I didn't get myself here, you don't know me and you don't know my life. "you're the only one that can take you back" Take me back to where? What are you talking about?
Second, there is no reason to be hateful and rude. Putting a cute smiley flower after your rude comment doesn't mitigate that rudeness, by the way.
You asked for tough love... I think you got it!
If this comment makes you mad- great, use that and show 'em!
I think you must have miss-read my post then if you think I asked for "tough love". Me asking for someone to tell me that I can't do this DOES NOT translate into someone telling me that I'm feeling sorry for myself and asking me "what's my excuse" for being fat (as if that is ANY of her business).
Positive reinforcement works best for me... I can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward, the whole world tosses that out daily and it sure never got me too far. It took ME making the decision to finally take action.:flowerforyou:
Well obviously I worded the post wrong if you really think I "asked for that".
I'm happy that "positive reinforcement" works best for you. But that's the cool thing about being human, we all do things differently and we all have different things that work for us. The key is to find what works for US. You can't imagine wanting negative reinforcement to move forward? So? I didn't ask you to. You're not me. That's one thing about this journey that people need to learn, we are all DIFFERENT. And trying to push YOUR way of doing things on someone else is a waste of time.
Hahaha why so defensive? You came here asking for fake "can't"s, someone posted a real one. A lot of us on here are overweight and trying to do something about it. If you make so many excuses you wont be able to do it. Take a chill pill and stop trying to belittle people that are only trying to help.
Why so defensive? Really? She didn't post a fake "can't" she posted something rude and hateful. There is a BIG DIFFERENCE. If you can't see that, there's nothing I can do about that.
Hope you're able to sort out your true feelings one day soon, it makes ALL the difference in creating a healthy environment for ourselves & those around us.:drinker:
Wow, you don't even know me and you claim that I'm full of "fear, unhappiness, and a deep sense of hopelessness" based on ONE forum thread. lol And you'd be wrong with all three assessments. You really don't know me ...at all. The problem with the written word is that it's a very flawed form of communication. People read into it what often isn't there. And people fill in the blanks with their own judgements.
Like I told another poster: A couple of you didn't get this post. And a couple of you didn't agree with it. And that's ok, you don't have to get it, and you don't have to agree with it. We all have a responsibility to do what works for US. Because in the end this was for me, not anyone else. Now weather or not you read something else into it, that's something I can't really worry too much about. I can just file it away in my mental file of "Try to articulate better next time". lol We do what we can with this flawed form of communication. The rest we just try to muddle through with the best we can. I don't hold any ill will against you, because it's not your fault you misunderstood my post or the reasoning behind it. I wish you luck your journey! 0 -
I think you CAN...'t do it!!!
LOL :laugh:
Thanks, hun. 0 -
yes you can.you can lose any weight that u set your mind to .we can help with support & motivation but you have to do the work but will be there working out to .0
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yes you can.you can lose any weight that u set your mind to .we can help with support & motivation but you have to do the work but will be there working out to .
Yay for hard work! heheh
Thanks, Deb. You're sweet, it's not what I was looking for, but you're a doll so I'll definitely Take It! lol
Thank you! 0 -
I would be missing the stares and dirty looks of strangers as I pass them in the store or on the street. I would be missing the snarky remarks of sales girls telling me "we don't carry anything in YOUR size". I would be missing having to assess that flimsy chair at a friend's house, wondering if I sit, will it hold me? Missing the comments of friends and family asking if I've been exercising and eating right. Missing going through pair after pair of jeans because my touching thighs keep rubbing holes in them. Missing going through life never knowing what my style is, because I've always just had to settle for what I could find that would fit me. Missing the judgmental smirks of strangers if I dare eat anything other than a salad. Missing never going swimming in 20 years because I would make people sick if I wore a bathing suit. Missing never being able to enjoy a nice long soak in a bath because most tubs are too narrow and squeeze my hips. Missing going through the hottest summer months sweltering in jeans and big shirts. Missing chairs with arms that pinch and poke and dig into me like medieval torture devices. Missing clothes that are either too tight or lay on me like a potato sack - nothing every fitting right.
Those are just a few of the things I want to go the rest of my life “missing”. So ok, I don't know what I'm missing not being thin? But I will be happy going the rest of my life missing what it's like being fat.
These are your words...they inspire me.
You can choose to do this!!!! Set your mind to it.... for all the things that you choose to let go!!!
Love this!!!^^^^^ If you don't mind I would like to borrow it to remind me as well during my struggling days!!!
And Stacy- I know how u feel and I'm right there with you so just for you and only cause u asked - U cant do it!0
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