A Man's Guide To Pleasing A Woman At Christmas
Replies
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These are all very true, thanks for posting!
I am lucky my boyfriend treats me all year long, including special occasions, and he already knows that I actually DO LIKE BIG AND FLASHY jewelry, lol.
He enjoys spoiling
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wow any chance you could give my hubby a call.
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ohhh I LOVE this..more guys should read this and follow your advice 0
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Wow!!! I'm thinking every man should have taken notes from you! I'm guessing you either have a very smart mother who taught you well or some sisters. Or you have been married for many years and found out through trial and error. I have been with someone who had my bubble bath drawn with rose petals. A tray with rose petals that spelled I love you and my favorite glass of wine.0
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Whew... is it a little warm in here, or is it just HIM?
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I read a forum topic this morning about purchasing a gift for a spouse and having read some of the responses decided to share my thoughts on how a man can buy a gift guaranteed to please his lady. It's not that I think the men in question are bad, they just don't know what to do and how, so here goes.
Women are cerebral. Buying a gift for them is like playing chess. If you are only thinking one move ahead you are going to get CRUSHED. When you buy her a gift it is the thoughtfulness that matters most, not the gift itself. If you listen to her over the course of the year she will tell you everything you need to know for success.
Gifts can be summed up in 3 categories; Needs, Wants, and Desires. Your duty is to turn a need into a want, a want into a desire, and a desire into gratification. If you can do that your woman will love you like you have never known. Here's how:
NEEDS (or household utility gifts)
Kitchen Items - These are gifts that on the surface are boring, but if you play your cards right these gifts can reap benefits for YEARS. Let me give you an example.
Several years ago my wife wanted a KitchenAid mixer. Sounds boring, right? First rule, always wrap it to impress. If you can't, pay someone to do it. Now of course she asked for it so that she could use it, but that doesn't get you any brownie points, does it? Think 2 steps ahead. Check with your local kitchen store or high-end grocery. Odds are they offer cooking classes ($35-$70). Find a class for a meal you would like to eat (I picked pizza and focaccia bread) and take it (yes, before Christmas). Next, buy a nice card and insert 2-3 coupons good for one dinner made by you. Put the card in her stocking and you are GOLDEN. Her need just became a want and probably even a desire! That was 8 years ago for me and I still hear about it to this day!
Plan B - OK, OK, you say you cannot function in a kitchen. Change it up. Buy the class for both of you and make a date night out of it. Not quite as effective, but still major brownie points. Call this one a need to a want.
WANTS (nice to haves for her)
Sporting Goods - This year my wife wants a heart rate monitor. Nothing sexy, nothing fancy. Not many brownie points there, huh? But wait, I'm going to show her I'm thinking of her needs. Those HRM straps can chafe (remember, they have things on their chest we don't). So in addition to the HRM I purchased a sports bra with the HRM strap built in. It comes in black and in white. Yes, buy both. They aren't like us. They don't wear the same thing to the gym every day. No, you are not done. Next you need to buy a cute top (Nike Town, ****'s, Sports Authority, you'll know it when you see it). Preferably a sweatshirt, but if you live in an exceptionally warm climate a top is OK. It's OK if you get the size wrong with these, within reason. Take a quick peak at one of her shirts or sweatshirts and you are guaranteed to be within 1 size either way. Her want is now a desire.....for you!
WARNING: Never, and I mean NEVER, buy the bottoms. You cannot win with those. If you get them too big you're telling her YOU think SHE is fat (I know, you didn't mean to, but remember, woman are cerebral). If you buy them too small SHE will think SHE is fat. And yes, even if you get the right size, SHE will wonder why YOU didn't think she was smaller. Any way you slice it, you are screwed.
Jewelry - This one is key and can be your best friend if done right but there are a couple of rules. First, never buy anything flashy. Second, never buy anything big (I know ladies, but hear me out on this one). Third, if you have any apprehension about buying her jewelry take a picture of her with you to the store, preferably dressed in one of your favorite outfits.
Now you have a decision to make. You need to decide what part of your woman's body, above the waist, you like most. Is it her eyes, the nape of her neck, the shape of her ears, the color and texture of her hair, her delicate hands and fingers, her wrists, and yes, even her breasts (but make sure to call it her cleavage to the sale person helping you if it is a woman. No Clark Griswold moments, guys). Your answer will determine whether you are buying earrings, a bracelet, a ring, or a necklace.
Last thing to focus on is her. You need to be paying attention to her skin tone and either her eye color or hair color. Tell the sales person what you are looking to accentuate. Her eyes, her ears, her cleavage, etc. Show them her picture. DO NOT let them break rule 1 or rule 2. They will try at first but will shape up as soon as you make yourself clear. If not, find another sales person. You do not need to spend a fortune. My boys and I hit Costco for a jewelry road show this year (call them and they will tell you when it is happening near you). For under $300 total my youngest son picked out matching earrings and a necklace that compliment her hair color and skin tone, my older son got a bracelet that matches her blue eyes and I got her a broach that converts to a necklace and draws attention to, yes, her breasts (I mean cleavage).
No, you are not done yet. Here is where you get 2 steps ahead. Buy a ring or bracelet? Get her a manicure and pedicure (best $25-40 you'll ever spend). Get her earrings or a necklace? Get her a facial at the local salon. Take the gift card and put it in her stocking. Really want to impress her? Mani/Pedi, a facial and dinner out.
Now you are going to show her how thoughtful the gift is and how much you were thinking of her (this is REALLY important). When she opens her gifts, TELL HER WHY YOU PICKED THEM (yes, I did say earlier they are cerebral. However, they do not think we are and will not give us credit without us spelling it out for them). Back to the first two rules. You did not buy it because it was big and flashy. You bought it because it accents how beautiful her eyes are, it shows off her gorgeous skin tone, etc. Get the drift? The gift is all about her, not about the gift. And yes, you are getting lucky tonight. And every night she wears it and you remind her of why you got it. Her want has now moved past desire and on to gratification. You're welcome.
DESIRES (Really? Do you have to ask?)
These are easy and inexpensive. And they typically involve you already. You'll probably still need to buy something from the Needs or Wants list, but these make excellent extras that are worth AT LEAST 20-30 extra brownie points.
Perfume - Does she wear perfume? Do you know why? To impress YOU! Want to impress her? Pick out a scent you think would smell nice on her. Rule here: make it subtle. Heavy perfumes overwhelm you or her or both. "But Don," you ask "how do I know what to choose?" Simple. Walk around a shopping mall. DO NOT go to a perfume counter. Everything will smell the same after one whiff. While you are browsing for the other gifts above pay attention to the women around you. Breathe deeply. One of them will be wearing a scent you will like. Ask her what it is (don't be shy). She will take it as a huge compliment. Write it down (you will forget it otherwise and will have to start over. Mall security will start getting suspicious at this point). Buy it, get it wrapped and tell her how sexy you think the scent will be on her. All she'll want to do is snuggle up close so you can smell her. Putty in your hands, my friend. Putty in your hands.
CRITICAL - DO NOT EVER TELL HER HOW YOU PICKED THAT PERFUME. You would be better off passing gas. For the next 4-6 hours. White lies are your best friend here. You just spent hours perusing the perfume counter to find just the right scent. Trust me on this one.
Bath Bombs/Salts - These are just too easy. Every woman loves a relaxing bath. Hopefully you already know her favorite flower or you probably wouldn't have gotten this far. If not, ask her. She will have no clue as to what you are up to. Go to your local bath shop. My favorite is Lush. Buy a pre-made box of bath bombs (or salts if the don't have the bombs). Nope, not done. Find a store that sells scented candles. Sniff for a candle that goes well with the bombs but isn't overwhelming.
Wrap. Wait. For. A. Kind. Of. Busy. Day. (but not too busy). Shortly before bedtime for the kids tell her you will take care of them and recommend she go and enjoy those wonderful bath bombs and candles you got her for Christmas that she hasn't had time to use yet. PAY CAREFUL ATTENTION. You have exactly 10 minutes after the water stops running in the tub or you are out of luck. Let the dogs out, get the kids to bed (bribe them if you have to), lock the doors and turn out the lights in the house. By minute 10 you need to be in the bathroom getting ready to slip into the tub with her. Why 10 minutes? Because after that she will be relaxed and too far gone to even know you are there. If I have to tell you what to do from here step away from the computer, leave the house and never come back. She deserves better.
CONCLUSION
Men - Always remember you are buying a gift that tells her you are thinking of her, listening to her and understand what she needs, wants, desires.
Women - NEVER give your man a list of what to buy ever again. If you have to, print this and give it to him instead.
Enough said. I am going to get ready to watch a lot of football tomorrow. And I'd bet a month's pay before the first half time I will hear, "Honey, sorry to interrupt. Can I get you anything to eat or drink?" Yup, I'm lucky that way. She might even sit down and watch with me.
Merry Christmas,
Don
:drinker:0 -
I read a forum topic this morning about purchasing a gift for a spouse and having read some of the responses decided to share my thoughts on how a man can buy a gift guaranteed to please his lady. It's not that I think the men in question are bad, they just don't know what to do and how, so here goes.
Women are cerebral. Buying a gift for them is like playing chess. If you are only thinking one move ahead you are going to get CRUSHED. When you buy her a gift it is the thoughtfulness that matters most, not the gift itself. If you listen to her over the course of the year she will tell you everything you need to know for success.
Gifts can be summed up in 3 categories; Needs, Wants, and Desires. Your duty is to turn a need into a want, a want into a desire, and a desire into gratification. If you can do that your woman will love you like you have never known. Here's how:
NEEDS (or household utility gifts)
Kitchen Items - These are gifts that on the surface are boring, but if you play your cards right these gifts can reap benefits for YEARS. Let me give you an example.
Several years ago my wife wanted a KitchenAid mixer. Sounds boring, right? First rule, always wrap it to impress. If you can't, pay someone to do it. Now of course she asked for it so that she could use it, but that doesn't get you any brownie points, does it? Think 2 steps ahead. Check with your local kitchen store or high-end grocery. Odds are they offer cooking classes ($35-$70). Find a class for a meal you would like to eat (I picked pizza and focaccia bread) and take it (yes, before Christmas). Next, buy a nice card and insert 2-3 coupons good for one dinner made by you. Put the card in her stocking and you are GOLDEN. Her need just became a want and probably even a desire! That was 8 years ago for me and I still hear about it to this day!
Plan B - OK, OK, you say you cannot function in a kitchen. Change it up. Buy the class for both of you and make a date night out of it. Not quite as effective, but still major brownie points. Call this one a need to a want.
WANTS (nice to haves for her)
Sporting Goods - This year my wife wants a heart rate monitor. Nothing sexy, nothing fancy. Not many brownie points there, huh? But wait, I'm going to show her I'm thinking of her needs. Those HRM straps can chafe (remember, they have things on their chest we don't). So in addition to the HRM I purchased a sports bra with the HRM strap built in. It comes in black and in white. Yes, buy both. They aren't like us. They don't wear the same thing to the gym every day. No, you are not done. Next you need to buy a cute top (Nike Town, ****'s, Sports Authority, you'll know it when you see it). Preferably a sweatshirt, but if you live in an exceptionally warm climate a top is OK. It's OK if you get the size wrong with these, within reason. Take a quick peak at one of her shirts or sweatshirts and you are guaranteed to be within 1 size either way. Her want is now a desire.....for you!
WARNING: Never, and I mean NEVER, buy the bottoms. You cannot win with those. If you get them too big you're telling her YOU think SHE is fat (I know, you didn't mean to, but remember, woman are cerebral). If you buy them too small SHE will think SHE is fat. And yes, even if you get the right size, SHE will wonder why YOU didn't think she was smaller. Any way you slice it, you are screwed.
Jewelry - This one is key and can be your best friend if done right but there are a couple of rules. First, never buy anything flashy. Second, never buy anything big (I know ladies, but hear me out on this one). Third, if you have any apprehension about buying her jewelry take a picture of her with you to the store, preferably dressed in one of your favorite outfits.
Now you have a decision to make. You need to decide what part of your woman's body, above the waist, you like most. Is it her eyes, the nape of her neck, the shape of her ears, the color and texture of her hair, her delicate hands and fingers, her wrists, and yes, even her breasts (but make sure to call it her cleavage to the sale person helping you if it is a woman. No Clark Griswold moments, guys). Your answer will determine whether you are buying earrings, a bracelet, a ring, or a necklace.
Last thing to focus on is her. You need to be paying attention to her skin tone and either her eye color or hair color. Tell the sales person what you are looking to accentuate. Her eyes, her ears, her cleavage, etc. Show them her picture. DO NOT let them break rule 1 or rule 2. They will try at first but will shape up as soon as you make yourself clear. If not, find another sales person. You do not need to spend a fortune. My boys and I hit Costco for a jewelry road show this year (call them and they will tell you when it is happening near you). For under $300 total my youngest son picked out matching earrings and a necklace that compliment her hair color and skin tone, my older son got a bracelet that matches her blue eyes and I got her a broach that converts to a necklace and draws attention to, yes, her breasts (I mean cleavage).
No, you are not done yet. Here is where you get 2 steps ahead. Buy a ring or bracelet? Get her a manicure and pedicure (best $25-40 you'll ever spend). Get her earrings or a necklace? Get her a facial at the local salon. Take the gift card and put it in her stocking. Really want to impress her? Mani/Pedi, a facial and dinner out.
Now you are going to show her how thoughtful the gift is and how much you were thinking of her (this is REALLY important). When she opens her gifts, TELL HER WHY YOU PICKED THEM (yes, I did say earlier they are cerebral. However, they do not think we are and will not give us credit without us spelling it out for them). Back to the first two rules. You did not buy it because it was big and flashy. You bought it because it accents how beautiful her eyes are, it shows off her gorgeous skin tone, etc. Get the drift? The gift is all about her, not about the gift. And yes, you are getting lucky tonight. And every night she wears it and you remind her of why you got it. Her want has now moved past desire and on to gratification. You're welcome.
DESIRES (Really? Do you have to ask?)
These are easy and inexpensive. And they typically involve you already. You'll probably still need to buy something from the Needs or Wants list, but these make excellent extras that are worth AT LEAST 20-30 extra brownie points.
Perfume - Does she wear perfume? Do you know why? To impress YOU! Want to impress her? Pick out a scent you think would smell nice on her. Rule here: make it subtle. Heavy perfumes overwhelm you or her or both. "But Don," you ask "how do I know what to choose?" Simple. Walk around a shopping mall. DO NOT go to a perfume counter. Everything will smell the same after one whiff. While you are browsing for the other gifts above pay attention to the women around you. Breathe deeply. One of them will be wearing a scent you will like. Ask her what it is (don't be shy). She will take it as a huge compliment. Write it down (you will forget it otherwise and will have to start over. Mall security will start getting suspicious at this point). Buy it, get it wrapped and tell her how sexy you think the scent will be on her. All she'll want to do is snuggle up close so you can smell her. Putty in your hands, my friend. Putty in your hands.
CRITICAL - DO NOT EVER TELL HER HOW YOU PICKED THAT PERFUME. You would be better off passing gas. For the next 4-6 hours. White lies are your best friend here. You just spent hours perusing the perfume counter to find just the right scent. Trust me on this one.
Bath Bombs/Salts - These are just too easy. Every woman loves a relaxing bath. Hopefully you already know her favorite flower or you probably wouldn't have gotten this far. If not, ask her. She will have no clue as to what you are up to. Go to your local bath shop. My favorite is Lush. Buy a pre-made box of bath bombs (or salts if the don't have the bombs). Nope, not done. Find a store that sells scented candles. Sniff for a candle that goes well with the bombs but isn't overwhelming.
Wrap. Wait. For. A. Kind. Of. Busy. Day. (but not too busy). Shortly before bedtime for the kids tell her you will take care of them and recommend she go and enjoy those wonderful bath bombs and candles you got her for Christmas that she hasn't had time to use yet. PAY CAREFUL ATTENTION. You have exactly 10 minutes after the water stops running in the tub or you are out of luck. Let the dogs out, get the kids to bed (bribe them if you have to), lock the doors and turn out the lights in the house. By minute 10 you need to be in the bathroom getting ready to slip into the tub with her. Why 10 minutes? Because after that she will be relaxed and too far gone to even know you are there. If I have to tell you what to do from here step away from the computer, leave the house and never come back. She deserves better.
CONCLUSION
Men - Always remember you are buying a gift that tells her you are thinking of her, listening to her and understand what she needs, wants, desires.
Women - NEVER give your man a list of what to buy ever again. If you have to, print this and give it to him instead.
Enough said. I am going to get ready to watch a lot of football tomorrow. And I'd bet a month's pay before the first half time I will hear, "Honey, sorry to interrupt. Can I get you anything to eat or drink?" Yup, I'm lucky that way. She might even sit down and watch with me.
Merry Christmas,
Don
:drinker:
Did your wife write this???No way a guy wrote this!!!0 -
This is so good material, I am sharing it with my male friends !! :bigsmile:0
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I showed this to my husband and he loved it!0
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To sum it up:
Guide to pleasing a woman at christmas: 3 solid pages of something I didn't read
Guide to pleasing a man at christmas: ask him what he wants
Amazing!0 -
Woild love to place you in a CLONING MACHINE so I could get one like you!!
However......most learn from mistakes so I bet you have stories that made you this smart..hahahaha0 -
Perhaps you have this right for " most " women ... and you are adorable. But ... there are exceptions to every rule and I do not fall under any of those. Does this make me high maintenance ... no, just the opposite. I will cook for you, bring you a drink ... even sit beside you and watch football or anything else you fancy. But I do not need any of the hardwork you listed above to get that treatment. If your with the right person and you know them well, it comes naturally to know that we are " simple " creatures and just a little cuddling, some smooth kisses and alot of love works better than anything. Heck ... you could even but me some power tools and I'd be just as happy ! Just sayin'
PS ... I'm not the norm, and I know that ! Sooo carry on fella's ... start planning ! LOL !
Merry Christmas ! 0 -
I solved this problem long ago.
After 28 years of marriage, she gets ZILTCH!
Nothing.
And same goes with me.
Anything we really want, we already have, and gifts from others are never what we need or desire, and it's always a disappointment.
We just decided not to play that game with each other.
We get the kids things and send cards to friends, cookies to the church, and that's it.
Same here^^^^^^If she or me want it we buy it!0 -
Good man and so very true! My birthday is right before Christmas and usually gets forgotten or thrown in with Christmas. But not by my husband! He recently bought me the best birthday presents I've ever gotten before. It was so special to me b/c he bought me a bagful of gifts. Every gift was something I had exclaimed over or said I loved in the past year. It was so precious to me that he had paid attention for such a long time and REMEMBERED! I cried for a good ten minutes 0
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I solved this problem long ago.
After 28 years of marriage, she gets ZILTCH!
Nothing.
And same goes with me.
Anything we really want, we already have, and gifts from others are never what we need or desire, and it's always a disappointment.
We just decided not to play that game with each other.
We get the kids things and send cards to friends, cookies to the church, and that's it.
THIS!!!! Could not agree more. We buy for ourselves and each other all year long so Christmas presents are for my son and the other kids in the family / friend circle. My gift to her this year is the freedom to visit the Coach store and buy anything she wants. You think I am crazy to go buy her something on my own? No way!0 -
You have some very nice ideas, and they all point to the fact that it really is the thought that goes into planning. It is not something off of a list that she gave you to buy. Shows you really care. Maybe more men and women should both take this kind of advice.0
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Your wife is one lucky lady. :flowerforyou:0
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Do you have a clone? No, wait I'm married...... You are a star!0
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You are a rock star. Could you enlighten my bf please? I wonder how many women have printed out your post to show their SO. I wish you and your lucky lady continued success. Do you have a brother? lol0
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That's an impressive post, your wife is a lucky lady!0
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Every woman has their own choice and chance.
Trying to figure them out without spending time and asking.
Your on eggshells boyo.
Luckily mine likes chocolate, movies, decent liquor, and romantic notions.0 -
Real man pleases his woman early, late, often and not just at Christmas. So much emphasis on this single day when it should be your thoughts and actions year round.
True, but we also like to feel super special on the holidays and will return the thoughtfulness.0 -
I wish my man would read this...0
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Am I really the only woman married to man who doesn't need to read this message? Back off ladies, he's mine and I'm keeping him. 0
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It all depends on the woman, really. I'm pretty handy with a toolkit, so I tend to be the one who fixes things around the house. My gift this year was a new ceiling fan. Nice but not real thrilling. The BEST PART is after we picked it out, he installed it the SAME DAY. That was awesome.
The speaker I got to hook up to the stereo for the kitchen, same thing. Speaker is cool, but the installation! Wow!
But I'm atypical. Really, it's more about the thought than the gift.0 -
omg.. you are so adorable! your wife must still get butterflies good for you!
agreed!0 -
LOVE this post!
My husband god love him is not too terribly romantic at other times of the year ... but every year for Christmas I never tell him what to get me. Part of the gift for me is seeing what he comes up with ...he never disappoints either! Some years its practical ... one year I really really wanted this blender and he had me going all the way until Christmas that I was not getting it ... lol0 -
I just kept saying "This is so unfair that he knows this... but so true!"
And it is.
It's actually slightly disturbing.0 -
Your wife is one lucky girl All husbands should read this and learn something!! 0
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A cute, funny read and probably fairly accurate. Laughed several times while reading this. However, none of us are "cookie cutters" and so every marriage/relationship is different. I have been fortunate enough for the past 32 years to have a fantastic husband that now has Alzheimers...the past couple of holidays have been "different". But the fact that he still remembers that he is supposed to do "something" makes whatever he does very special. He has a package wrapped for me already that looks like a 5 year old wrapped it and for 2 days has been asking me "don't you want to open it now?" I have to keep reminding him that I need to save it for Christmas Day. I have a great daughter that helps him but there is usually something (usually a little odd) that he just has to get me on his own. Those of you that have healthy spouses/significant others...take great joy in every day you have together...whether you get "just the right" gift or not. Merry Christmas everyone!0
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