Friends with your ex's

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  • ashnm88
    ashnm88 Posts: 748
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    My first ex and I are good friends. We have quite a while mutual friends. My last one I'm also friends with. We both care a great deal about one another, but we just couldn't work out our schedules. Others in between are best left in the dust. Then there's the one that we just deal when we are out at the same place because we are friends with quite a few people.
  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I was great friends with my ex for many years after the divorce, but in the last two or three years we've only spoken to each other a couple of times per year. It had no impact on my diet, whatsoever.
  • JULIUSKITTY
    JULIUSKITTY Posts: 126 Member
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    actualy we began as hating each other.. me for good reasons.. him not really since he abandon my daughter and I.. but I think he felt terrible so he used that to make reason- or try to think he did right..anyway we can talk now without problems- for the most part and he has actualy realized he needs to play nice so I think that makes a big difff when people stop trying to cause problems. as for food.. hahaha I lost a TON of weight-- thanks for leaving jerk face lmbo.. he thinks I did it for him but I did it for ME.. :)
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
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    I am friends with most of my ex's. Only one or two stand out as people I communicate with frequently, but now one of my ex's is an employee of mine! I am really finding out what an idiot he is! LOL!
  • eyoungone05
    eyoungone05 Posts: 119
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    Nope and no way will I ever be friends with my X's cant do it
  • thesmellofapples
    thesmellofapples Posts: 287 Member
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    i'm good friends with both of my exes. i don't see a problem with it and we don't have any hateful feelings for each other. the biggest problem is getting the current significant others to agree with it. my boyfriend doesn't like when i talk to my exes and my exes' girlfriends hate me.
  • curlyclo
    curlyclo Posts: 243 Member
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    I have been friends with all of my exes after the breakups, but most of them have slipped out my life for one reason or another. There aren't any hard feelings from my end, we just fell out of contact. There's only one who I still consider a very close friend and have regular contact with. My lack of relationships with the other ones doesn't affect my diet or weight as far as I can tell.
  • LadyGhostDuchess
    LadyGhostDuchess Posts: 894 Member
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    I thought this would be a great topic, are any of you friends with your ex's???? Does that affect your eating or how you view yourself???? I have great relationships with all my ex's 4 one reason or another. No need in being angry @ them. I rather be friends then enemies, better life that way. Then later on down the road if something sparks again, you have your friendship as a foundation

    My best male friend is my ex :drinker:
    He is also my biggest supporter in my working out, eatting better and everything. We both gained weight when we were together now we are both dropping it. he is dropping it WAY quicker than I am, but hey. I am trying my darndest!
  • JDRBT
    JDRBT Posts: 264 Member
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    I'm not friends with any of my ex boyfriends or my ex husband, but I'm not an enemy to them either. If I passed them on the street, would I say "hi, how are you?" Sure. But I feel that investing emotions in those relationships and further is a waste of the finate amount of emotional energy I have in my life.
    There are reasons why those relationships ended and, while I'm not married to them. There are lots of people I can go out and have fun with that don't have the complications attached that ex's do. One of my ex's even had kids that I love dearly, but it's best for them that I remain distant as well - since it allows them to move on should their dad decide to date someone else. Whenever I wax nostalgic, I send up a prayer and my best wishes for them and move on. If they are people I would only keep in touch with on facebook, then they aren't really "friends". They are just acquintances that come and go.
    I feel that the effort required to maintain those types of friendships is better used elsewhere - like fostering a nurturing relationship elsewhere, or building my ties with friends that are currently in my life. In fact, the act of grieving a change can bring those close to you even closer, if you reach out to them.

    The opposite of love isn't hate or anger. It's indifference - a lack of investment of emotions. I wish them the best and look forward. Some people are in our lives for a season, and some for a reason. So I feel at peace learning from the relationship and moving on.
  • JULIUSKITTY
    JULIUSKITTY Posts: 126 Member
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    btw my ex ran off after 10 yrs together.. and married 6.. with an 18 yr old girl- no there not together anymore.. thos things rarely ever work out,.. and I have gotten remarried to my best freind!! :)
  • lcchrt
    lcchrt Posts: 234 Member
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    Tried the whole friends thing and he kinda burned that bridge. He never tried to get that I was married and he was engaged. He isn't much of an honorable person (or wasn't then, he may have changed since its been a couple years since we've talked). When I was in touch with him though it did effect me. He encouraged my disordered eating when we were together therefore I fell back into an eating disorder when we talked. It was really weird, when we stopped talking I recovered much easier!
  • wreath7
    wreath7 Posts: 104 Member
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    friends with all my exes except one horrible ex who i don't allow to talk to me, the others are great. i suppose it has a positive effect on my self-image because we get along so well and they are very supportive.
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
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    I've often thought that if I took the time and energy I spend on friendships with my exes and applied it to a new beau I might have a shot at having an amazing relationship.
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
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    I'm friends with several of my ex's from a long time ago.. but not my two most recent. Both walked out on me. First one we were just living together, second one we were married and now going through a divorce. We don't have any assests or kids to fight over, so we are "civil" but friends? HECK NO.. (of course this is recent, she walked out 3 months ago).
  • farmgirlsuz
    farmgirlsuz Posts: 351 Member
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    Every time I think I am getting along better with my ex he shows his true colors and stabs me in the back again. He is a total user-whatever benefits him. One would think after 19 years I would have figured it out. As far as affecting my eating-yeah, I loved the look on his face when he saw the NEW me on Thanksgiving so I plan on using that as inspiration every time I start falling back into my old habits. NEW LIFE-BRING IT ON!
  • Sd0510
    Sd0510 Posts: 295 Member
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    Not at all. Mainly because my Fiance gets extremely angry when I talk to any guys, let alone an ex. If he wasn't so mad about it, there is only one I wouldn't mind talking to anyway. The rest... I wouldn't care if I never saw them again.
  • kyrstensmom
    kyrstensmom Posts: 297 Member
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    I am friends with one ex-boyfriend, in fact, he is one of my husband's good friends and was a groomsman in our wedding. We were together for 6 years before it ended, and I was absolutely heartbroken for a long time, but now I am thankful for unanswered prayers. I don't have an ex-husbands (don't plan on it, either). I have one other ex who is the biological father of my oldest child. My husband adopted her, but I keep him on my FB so that someday if she wants to know him, I can still find him.

    My husband is friends with his ex-wife, and she and I occasionally hang out and have girls nights, and she is always welcome in our home....its really not weird at all.

    None of these relationships have any effect on my eating/exercise habits, except my husband who is my biggest support.
  • Latasha1988
    Latasha1988 Posts: 8
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    Not me. I don't have any children with previous relationships and don't see any need for it. I did attempt it once, but it was very difficult seeing as he was not over me. My aunt said it to me perfectly "You can't become friends after living together for 2 years and being engaged, that's moving backwards. You don't need to move backwards you need to move forward." Now that I've grown since then, have a fiance and a child with him... I understand that so much better. It's uncomfortable to have someone you talk to and hang around that you've been with romantically when you have a serious relationship even in a trustful relationship. If you ever had an attraction to the person, theres always a possibility of that attraction to come back... so there's no reason to have that sort of thing in your life when youre involved with someone. I can see if someones single or dating.. even in a relationship thats not too serious. But if you're seriously involved with someone i think its a no no. But anyway, to each his own. If anyone wants to be besties with their ex that's their choice and i wouldn't look down on them for it. I just wouldn't date them! lol
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
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    I take care of my ex-husband's father (He lives with me) and my ex-husband is here visiting for a month with me, his father and my current husband.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    I try and remain civil with my ex husband since we have two kids together. But, I admit there are days when he makes being polite VERY HARD. I was the one who left the marriage and while he's engaged to someone else, he is still quick to remind me that *I* left HIM. Ugh.

    As of right now, a friendship with him won't be happening.

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