seperation anxiety?

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2

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  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    Welcome to real life.

    The wife and I welcome the occasional breaks, whether a few hours or a few days when one of us is traveling. It's healthy for a couple.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    You have been together 24/7 for FIVE YEARS? Good gravy, if that were me I'd be shoving my husband out the door - grateful that he's finally joined the working class.

    I think I would have killed mine or sent him to the curb after 24/7 for five years. Yikes! I don't want to be around anyone that long. It isn't that I don't love my family, but goodness, where is time for you if there is always someone with you?
  • brooklynsfinestballerina
    brooklynsfinestballerina Posts: 136
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    Um I havent seen my man in 11 months. Hunny you'll be fine.
  • lucysposaro
    lucysposaro Posts: 132 Member
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    Thank to those who were nice about this poist and to others no its not a jaoke and yes i know its part of life and you pretty much dont get what im saying when i say i havent bene alone with my kids its not like i could tell my partner to go away for 2 weeks so its jst me and the kids? When i say that i mean im with 24/7 im always with them just me and mhy partner do things together all the time now he suddenly works i dont get why this is such a bad issue and why im getting looked as a joke or as a bad parent? Yes i have a abnxiety issue i have post traumtic stress disorder and i have a anxiety disorder....Not everyone is perfect i love my kids to bits and ill do anything for them i never once have them others to look after them only kinder during the day for 3 days and thats it otherwise i would rather be with my kids so to those who dont understand and think im a bad parent because i dont spend sperate time with my kids think about my sistuation and what i actually mean not just read i have never spent time alone with my kids?....
  • lucysposaro
    lucysposaro Posts: 132 Member
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    we live together and always have for 5 years he helps me with alot of things i have a learnign disablity some things i can do alone some things i cant wiothout help.I live my dad also but we live on a attached house kinda thing but he also works....i dont really get sick of being around him becausde hes always been my company i dont have actual real freinds and i dont go out as free time like i said above im always with him and my kids....thats jyst me im a family person....and these other people here are getting me wrong and makin me look bad when im not i just came here for help not other things.....
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    Welcome to the deep end of the pool. :smile: You'll be fine.
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    sorry im not here expecting rude answers thats not the full story and im with my kids 247 just not alone....because my partner is always with me....does not make me a bad mother...
    So how do you guys make any money?? I'm sorry that you're having a hard time, but this is just such an unusual situation for your age and lifestyle. I remember feeling this way back when my fiance (at the time boyfriend) got his first job when I was 15. Couldn't imagine feeling that way now though, and we don't have any kids. It might be hard, but you NEED to work on having a life outside of him. Being around each other literally 24/7 is not healthy, for reasons just like what you are going through now. Good luck.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    I wish you the best of luck. My advice to you, get yourself a support system of friends who can be there for you if things get too stressful.
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
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    To the OP congrats on your guy finding work!! You'll find a way to fill the hours while he's working, trust me. There never seem to be enough hours in the day! With your kids, they must be used to you being the nice one and your guy being the strict one. Your just going to have to be stricter with them. If they misbehave, and you threaten to punish them, you'll have to follow through so they know you mean buisness. :)
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    In all seriousness, I do believe you need to seek some treatment for you anxiety issues and work on establishing a solid routine for you and your kids to abide by. If you are this distressed about being away from your partner and alone with your kids for a few hours a day, that is not healthy at all. It's not good for your kids either to see you like that.
  • ansonrinesmith
    ansonrinesmith Posts: 755 Member
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    Maybe I'm just grumpy or my blood sugar is low, but for some reason this REALLY bugs me.
    How is it they have been together for 5 years, neither apparently with a job and have had multiple kids?
    My wife and I both work and barely eek out the payments every month.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
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    i was a stay at home mom for 18 years and it is hard work by yourself or with help. it sounds like you need to talk to someone. for me always getting the kids out of the house to burn off some steam helped tremendously. park, playplace, library, whatever. if you want to add me for support please do. i think you will be fine in time but it sounds like a huge adjustment. good luck!
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
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    Add me to the list of people wondering how 2 grown adults can have multiple children over 5 years but haven't worked a day between them.

    I'm also on the suck it up and deal with it bench. You might call that rude. I call it reality. I had issues when my husband of 10 years went off to Iraq for 14 months. Know what I did? I sucked it up and dealt with it even though our kids were 5 and 2. I had slightly less issues but still had some problems when he went to Kuwait for 18 months after 13 years of marriage. I sucked it up and dealt with it. We celebrated 18 years of marriage this past May. He got home from 9 months in Afghanistan in October. I'm a pro at sucking it up and dealing with it. So when I say "Suck it up and deal with it." I'm not being harsh. I'm being a realist and speaking from experience.
  • lucysposaro
    lucysposaro Posts: 132 Member
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    I am from australia we get payments from the govement when not in work down here its hard to find work at this stage so he was really lucky this time to have found work but im happy and proud of him.I had a child before i meet him and we have always done fine but struggle at times like anyone else would.Im doing fine now it was just the sudden change that lead to anxiety but im more settled down now.To those still hateing on me dont bother replying to the post because you will get know were and with that attitude you shouldent even be here.Im a nice kind person looking for new friends tot alk to because i dont have actual real freinds and to see kind of stinky attitude is disgusting.Im here to lose weight and keep to my goal but at the same time get advice about other things i really wish people learnt to be nice to others and relise others have feelings to.Fine some of you are mothers with more then 2 kids ur hubbys work and always have great good for you but some others have diffrent situaations and without you guys knowing the whole entire story you already judge.Ill keep this in mind next time i ask for advice some are very nice and kind and know how to talk to others some here are rude disguting bad attitude people.Im not here to judge people when they put posts up i never have and never will because im not a low hearted person like some of you.Some of you really need to open your eyes and relise not everyone has the same situation just because they are a mother,.I love my kids im always with them im always spending time with them and i could never imagine my life without them but half of you are sitting there saying oh u never spent time alone with ur kids? like um hello i just said NOT alone not i never look at them or touch em or look after them? my parnter is with me all the time because he dident work we live in the same bloody house of course someone would always be with me i dont litreally mean i never step foot into the kids room with my partner......he would play his xbox id would go play with my kids....see some of u jump to it and think oh bad mother some people cant explain things right over the net because its the frinkin internet but gezuz read it right next time and think about what i mean IM NOT A BAD MOTHER AND NEVER WILL BE i have never ever said to my partner look after my kids while i go clubbing and drinking for the weekend like most mothers i know so SUCK THAT UP RUDE PEOPLE
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    I am from australia we get payments from the govement when not in work down here its hard to find work at this stage so he was really lucky this time to have found work but im happy and proud of him.I had a child before i meet him and we have always done fine but struggle at times like anyone else would.Im doing fine now it was just the sudden change that lead to anxiety but im more settled down now.To those still hateing on me dont bother replying to the post because you will get know were and with that attitude you shouldent even be here.Im a nice kind person looking for new friends tot alk to because i dont have actual real freinds and to see kind of stinky attitude is disgusting.Im here to lose weight and keep to my goal but at the same time get advice about other things i really wish people learnt to be nice to others and relise others have feelings to.Fine some of you are mothers with more then 2 kids ur hubbys work and always have great good for you but some others have diffrent situaations and without you guys knowing the whole entire story you already judge.Ill keep this in mind next time i ask for advice some are very nice and kind and know how to talk to others some here are rude disguting bad attitude people.Im not here to judge people when they put posts up i never have and never will because im not a low hearted person like some of you.Some of you really need to open your eyes and relise not everyone has the same situation just because they are a mother,.I love my kids im always with them im always spending time with them and i could never imagine my life without them but half of you are sitting there saying oh u never spent time alone with ur kids? like um hello i just said NOT alone not i never look at them or touch em or look after them? my parnter is with me all the time because he dident work we live in the same bloody house of course someone would always be with me i dont litreally mean i never step foot into the kids room with my partner......he would play his xbox id would go play with my kids....see some of u jump to it and think oh bad mother some people cant explain things right over the net because its the frinkin internet but gezuz read it right next time and think about what i mean IM NOT A BAD MOTHER AND NEVER WILL BE i have never ever said to my partner look after my kids while i go clubbing and drinking for the weekend like most mothers i know so SUCK THAT UP RUDE PEOPLE

    It would make it a lot easier for us to understand what you are trying to say if you would use punctuation and didn't write in text-speak.
  • lucysposaro
    lucysposaro Posts: 132 Member
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    I am from australia we get payments from the govement when not in work down here its hard to find work at this stage so he was really lucky this time to have found work but im happy and proud of him.I had a child before i meet him and we have always done fine but struggle at times like anyone else would.Im doing fine now it was just the sudden change that lead to anxiety but im more settled down now.To those still hateing on me dont bother replying to the post because you will get know were and with that attitude you shouldent even be here.Im a nice kind person looking for new friends tot alk to because i dont have actual real freinds and to see kind of stinky attitude is disgusting.Im here to lose weight and keep to my goal but at the same time get advice about other things i really wish people learnt to be nice to others and relise others have feelings to.Fine some of you are mothers with more then 2 kids ur hubbys work and always have great good for you but some others have diffrent situaations and without you guys knowing the whole entire story you already judge.Ill keep this in mind next time i ask for advice some are very nice and kind and know how to talk to others some here are rude disguting bad attitude people.Im not here to judge people when they put posts up i never have and never will because im not a low hearted person like some of you.Some of you really need to open your eyes and relise not everyone has the same situation just because they are a mother,.I love my kids im always with them im always spending time with them and i could never imagine my life without them but half of you are sitting there saying oh u never spent time alone with ur kids? like um hello i just said NOT alone not i never look at them or touch em or look after them? my parnter is with me all the time because he dident work we live in the same bloody house of course someone would always be with me i dont litreally mean i never step foot into the kids room with my partner......he would play his xbox id would go play with my kids....see some of u jump to it and think oh bad mother some people cant explain things right over the net because its the frinkin internet but gezuz read it right next time and think about what i mean IM NOT A BAD MOTHER AND NEVER WILL BE i have never ever said to my partner look after my kids while i go clubbing and drinking for the weekend like most mothers i know so SUCK THAT UP RUDE PEOPLE

    It would make it a lot easier for us to understand what you are trying to say if you would use punctuation and didn't write in text-speak.

    well i am sorry by i do that when im really angry because i just type and type out of anger
  • dhakiyya
    dhakiyya Posts: 481 Member
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    Hi Lucysposaro, don't worry too much about the unsupportive posts, that's just how it is on the internet sometimes. Glad you're feeling more settled, and I'm sure you'll be just fine :) You're stronger and better able to cope than you think you are :) hope everything goes well for your husband in his new job :) and spending less time with him means that the time you do spend is more special, better quality time
  • SheWillNotFail46_5
    SheWillNotFail46_5 Posts: 17 Member
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    I don't have kids but I have seen Supernanny ion the TV, so I suggest you break your day down and establish a daily routine.

    XX.00am get up
    XX.30am get kids up
    XX.00am get kids dressed
    etc

    If you add structure to your day you will feel better and




    Good luck.



    Lmfao maybe im going nuts and I need to go to bed but does anybody else find this posters first sentence funny as hell? This is the kind of thing i would have said 2 years ago before having a baby. Love Ur Super Nanny advice. You and Jo hit the nail on the head ! :-p Sorry about your situation OP....the extra income will make u feel better.
  • IDontLikeRegistering
    IDontLikeRegistering Posts: 51 Member
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    Wow! Who would have thought you'd get such a bunch of Yahoo answers? If you feel anxious without someone around, that's a real feeling. It's likely to cause problems for you and your family that you feel that way, so I suggest you seek counselling or some other kind of help. It is available, and it doesn't necessarily cost the Earth. Just like weight loss, you don't have to do it on your own. Ask a doctor, or a pastor, or someone else who you trust. Don't ask these idiots.
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
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    Wow! Who would have thought you'd get such a bunch of Yahoo answers? If you feel anxious without someone around, that's a real feeling. It's likely to cause problems for you and your family that you feel that way, so I suggest you seek counselling or some other kind of help. It is available, and it doesn't necessarily cost the Earth. Just like weight loss, you don't have to do it on your own. Ask a doctor, or a pastor, or someone else who you trust. Don't ask these idiots.

    Agreed! It sounds like you're facing a major change in your life all of a sudden and it is going to be pretty hard to deal with. If your children have learned that you don't need to be obeyed it's going to be REALLY hard work to change things around so that they will do as you tell them (more or less).

    Do what you can to find help in your local community - phone the Citizens Advice (if you have one in Aussie), go to your local library and ask if they know of useful (simple) books or DVDs or support groups etc. Do you have Plunket in Aussie? Or a parent's help line? What about a counselling phone line?

    My advice (as a teacher, not a parent, so feel free to ignore) would be to plan a few clear rules and plan a few stages of response i.e. a mild response like a reminder of the rules, then a warning, then something like the naughty step or whatever. No matter how you feel, you must act calm (no shouting, swearing etc) and you must, must act as soon as they infringe the rules and every time they infringe the rules. They will push the boundaries until they see that you're going to enforce them.

    Also - boredom and tiredness and hunger = naughtiness. Keep them occupied with enough sleep and healthy food and half your problem is solved (in terms of their behaviour, anyway).

    In terms of your anxiety, go and see your Doctor - they might prescribe some medication to take the edge off and you might well be able to find subsidised counselling.

    Good luck and best wishes! (and please don't take the haters to heart)

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