Rude Friends!

2

Replies

  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
    Sounds like you need new friends.

    A friend should support your decisions and journeys in life, as long as they are not harmful to you. Isn't that one of the main definitions of a friend?
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member
    I think they're jealous. You're doing great - sounds like you've got everything sussed. Ignore them.

    I don't think they sound jealous, I think they sound annoying.

    Maybe the can't do what you are doing, so they are trying to make them selves feel better by making you the same as them. If you eat the chips then she feels better about eating them herself.

    what I would do is either say what ever you need to to get them off your back but do what you want to do and don't eat it, or be brutally honest with them and shove it in their faces like they are shoving it in yours.

    Good luck
  • benzzito
    benzzito Posts: 35
    Based on your description they are not your friends. Surround yourself with positive people in your life.
  • mywalker32
    mywalker32 Posts: 2
    Honestly, who cares what they think. The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. When people have low self esteem they tend to put their noses where they don't belong.....usually in other people's business.:wink:
  • EllieKaye
    EllieKaye Posts: 13
    One thing stood out at me; how your friend said you should just stay fat and happy. Well, I hate to say this, but it's not all about image but health as well. Wait until they're in bad health. They'll be saying "You were right" one day.

    They are jealous. They will forever bring you down about everything that involves your health. Your only solution? Tell them exactly how you feel about their behavior towards you, and if it doesn't work, dump them!

    I know what you're going through. I had really awesome friends. They were skinny girls too. Who thought they were better. Always bragging and always bringing me down until I decided to change my ways in my health, and then started telling me to forget it, that I'd never get thin.

    So, what did I do? I dropped them. I found better friends who support and encourage me everyday. I get friendly texts in the mornings, saying that I'll one day be on the cover of "Vogue" or something, and that I'm kicking my unhealthy-ness away. :)

    Get friends like those.

    I'm VERY proud of you achievements!

    -Ellie

    PS: Keep up the AMAZING work!!!
  • trybefan
    trybefan Posts: 488 Member
    I think they're jealous. You're doing great - sounds like you've got everything sussed. Ignore them.

    ^^^ This. I have friends at work that have ice cream, cookies and are like "mmmmm, don't you want some?" I have a guy that used to bring over his food and try to get me to smell it all of the time. I honestly don't have any issues with what people eat, I have no cravings for food, just beer!!
  • lindseyawheeler
    lindseyawheeler Posts: 11
    I have a friend like that and it really makes me mad! She tells me I'm "obsessed" with dieting, which I'm not. You just need to remember that you are the only one in charge of what you eat and how you exercise!
  • ronda_gettinghealthy
    ronda_gettinghealthy Posts: 777 Member
    NOPE dont have this problem.....if this happens....and it has.....poof we just dont have time to hang out anymore.....
  • rmsrws
    rmsrws Posts: 639 Member
    Wow.....I am sorry you don't have supportive freinds! You need to surround yourself with supportive people. They may have jealousy issues, if they happen to be over weight. You become thinner and healthier and they are still the same they will feel thretened.

    For years I have had people tell me when I weighed 200 lbs that I looked great!.....Let's get serious, I am 4"11. No way did I look great!
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
    I think they're jealous. You're doing great - sounds like you've got everything sussed. Ignore them.

    I don't think they sound jealous, I think they sound annoying.

    Yes! I think they sound horrible. Why in the world are you calling them friends? Seriously, you are doing a good thing for your life, you should be surrounded by goodness.

    This
  • LuciaLongIsland
    LuciaLongIsland Posts: 815 Member
    NOPE dont have this problem.....if this happens....and it has.....poof we just dont have time to hang out anymore.....

    That is great.
  • ThatGirlGlow
    ThatGirlGlow Posts: 68 Member
    That sucks! Old saying of misery loves company....you should watch out for "friends" like this. People who are not supportive of your weight loss goals will unconsciously do things to side track your progress.
  • _Tristan_
    _Tristan_ Posts: 221 Member
    I handle it very easily. They are no longer my friends!
  • marisa_munches
    marisa_munches Posts: 30
    That's tough. I think change just makes people uncomfortable. We get used to our friends and family being a certain way. I think this comes up especially when the person has something they really wish they could change about themselves (whether it's losing weight or something else in their lives that make them unhappy). It's a hard decision, but I think you either have to distance yourself from their bad energy or hang tough and keep encouraging them to join you. Best of luck!
  • tskaay
    tskaay Posts: 8
    You ought to be proud of yourself! I wonder if they are overwhelmed at your new confidence and look, and are not ready to openly compliment you What matters, is that you are taking care of you and you can't change anything that they are doing or saying. I might say "Wow, chips? I really can't be doing that right now. You go ahead and eat my portion for me!"
  • tam120
    tam120 Posts: 444 Member
    You should surround yourself with people who support you but I do understand not wanting to dump your current friends. In that case you really need let them know you don't appreciate it when they don't support you then lead by example. Eventually you will be in a place where you won't be willing to settle any longer or they'll get tired of feeling how they're feeling and they'll move on. I don't see these relationships being very long term unless you regress (which you're not going to do, right?!) or they decide to support you and/or join you. Keep up the good work and don't let others have power over you.
  • GinNouveau
    GinNouveau Posts: 143 Member
    Until the point you changed, you probably enjoyed eating bad food and engaging in activities with these people that didn't support your healthy lifestyle. We become friends with people that are like us, and at one point, steak n' shake was probably a good idea to you, and you would've caved and bonded over some fries and everyone would've been best friends. So they were sabotaging you before, but because you didn't care, it wasn't a problem, it was fun.

    Just because you see it as a bad choice now, doesn't automatically make them bad people or sabotaging for suggesting it.

    It's possible they are jealous, but if jealousy comes from insecurity, then maybe they are worried they are losing you as a friend? Or if when you are "skinny" you won't like them as much or be accepting of their destructive behaviors. If they can convince you to make bad choices with them, then the bond over food is still there. If you say no, then they may feel like you are judging their choices.

    Are these friendships sustainable? Can you live your healthy life and continue to say no? Is there anything besides food centered activities that you enjoy doing with these people? If so, focus on those things to bond over. Find ways to tell them (if you do) "I want to spend time with you, not food." If not, you may have to distance yourself until you are capable of making a judgment.

    You may lose some friends. But not for the wrong reasons.
  • jnhu72
    jnhu72 Posts: 558 Member
    Based on your description they are not your friends. Surround yourself with positive people in your life.

    More and more each day I agree with this. I don't know why I call them friends to be honest with every one... I think I'm better off on my own.
  • katyejean
    katyejean Posts: 233 Member
    Sounds like you need to tell your friends to shut the hell up, or get new friends. Win for losing.
  • jnhu72
    jnhu72 Posts: 558 Member
    Is there anything besides food centered activities that you enjoy doing with these people?

    Unfortunately, no there isn't unless you consider sitting around watching t.v., but even that involves food. I attempt to suggest things that don't revolve around, but it's always no.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    309kftx.jpg
  • Bellyroll
    Bellyroll Posts: 316
    Yes, my Fiance. He does not do it on purpose but I can say that I do choose my battles.
  • jnhu72
    jnhu72 Posts: 558 Member
    I would also like to point out, I'm not projecting my lifestyle on to anyone. If the want to go to McDonald's and order a Big Mac, Lg. Fries and a Chocolate Shake, I wouldn't say a word. For the most part I don't even talk about my new lifestyle and never would I attempt to change them because I know they are happy with themselves.
  • Bellyroll
    Bellyroll Posts: 316
    309kftx.jpg
    Funny
  • mnwalkingqueen
    mnwalkingqueen Posts: 1,299 Member
    I don't have friends that act like that....my female friends are very supportive. You should think about if they are healthy to be around along with sitting them down and telling them how you feel. If it were me I would talk to them and if things didn't change I would have to rethink how much time I wanted to spend with them.
  • Dalastime
    Dalastime Posts: 1
    New Rule: Negative people that have nothing and do nothing positive around you are those that you should RUN from. Surround yourself with "friends" that actually are positive and uplifting. Dieting is hard! We all know this, and maybe we start and stop, and so on, but friends should be supportive!
  • Fabnover40Kat
    Fabnover40Kat Posts: 300 Member
    When I told friends about my first 5k and that I was running in general they asked "why are you doing that"? It dumbfounds me when your trying to be fit how pwople think its not NORMAL! Guess it goes to show you how lazy we are as a society!
  • Sunshine_Bettie
    Sunshine_Bettie Posts: 13
    YES! If they are true friends, they wouldn't be trying to sabotage you
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    how do I handle it? I kick em to the curb. You are either part of the solution or part of the problem. period.
    they don't call me WICKED cricket for nothing
  • dmaciejewski
    dmaciejewski Posts: 10 Member
    My friends have been supportive, so I would question their loyalty to you. They are probably just jealous because you are improving your health.

    I do struggle because my husband still eats bad, but he has been supportive of me in other ways. He is always telling me how good I look and he is proud of me. I just have to choose something healthy when we go out to eat, and not think about the junk he is eating.

    Losing 50 + pounds is a great accomplishment. Please don't let them bring you down!
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